‘Are you all right?’ he asked awkwardly.
I said I was, but actually I had no idea how I felt.
‘Did you recognize the girl?’ My heart rate increased dramatically.
‘No, no, I didn’t.’
I blew out a stream of air. So at least it wasn’t one of my friends.
‘I’m fierce sorry about this, pet,’ he said miserably.
You fucker, Garv, I thought. Doing this not just to me, but to my poor dad.
‘Don’t worry, Dad, it was probably his cousin.’
‘Do you think?’ he asked eagerly.
‘No,’ I sighed. ‘But it doesn’t matter anyway, it really doesn’t.’
Punch-drunk I hung up. What the hell did ‘fond’ mean? What were they doing? Snogging in the street?
I turned to see a frozen tableau of stares. Even Desiree’s head was to one side in compassionate enquiry.
‘What’s happened?’ Emily asked.
I was too shocked to dissemble, and the response from all of them was immediate and steeped in kindness. Lara poured me a drink, Emily lit me a cigarette, Justin rubbed the pressure points on my temples, Troy recommended deep breathing and Desiree gave me a consolatory lick.
‘You had already split up?’ Lara asked.
‘Yeah, but…’
‘I know. Yeah, but…’ she repeated, with understanding. ‘We’ve all been there.’
In the middle of the fuss, the phone rang again and Emily answered it. Her face was a picture of reluctance. ‘It’s your mum.’
I took the phone and made for my bedroom.
‘Margaret?’
‘Hi, Mum.’ I closed the door behind me.
‘It’s Mum.’
‘I know.’ And I know why you’re ringing.
‘How are you getting on? Is it still sunny?’
‘Yes. And I still haven’t fallen into the San Andreas fault.’
‘I’ve something to tell you and I’m going to give it to you straight. No point beating round the bush. If someone’s got something to say, they might as well say it…’
‘Mum…’
‘It’s that Paul you were married to,’ she blurted. ‘We passed him tonight in town. He was walking along Dame Street and he was with a… a… girl. They looked quite enamoured with each other.’
So it’s enamoured now. Fond was bad enough. I swallowed with effort. The bastard, I thought. The bastarding bastard.
‘Your father was all for keeping it from you, but you’re like me, you’ve your pride, you’d rather know.’
True perhaps, yet it still made me angry.
‘I’m very sorry.’ She sounded suddenly teary. ‘And I’m sorry I didn’t understand when you said you’d left him. If there’s anything I can do…’
Abruptly I remembered how, a couple of times, I’d had the urge to phone him; I was transported with insane gladness that I hadn’t. Could you imagine if she’d been there? If she’d answered? I’d have been so humiliated.
‘Did you recognize her?’
‘No, no I didn’t.’
When I emerged, Troy observed, ‘Your mom? Good news travels fast.’
Emily squeezed my trembling hands, trying to stop the tremors, while a flurry of comforting platitudes rained down on top of me. I’d get over it. The pain would pass. It was horrible now, but it would get better…
The phone rang again. We all looked at each other. What now?
‘Helen,’ Emily said, giving me the phone. ‘Her sister,’ she explained to the others.
Once again I found myself in my bedroom. ‘Helen?’
She sounded uncharacteristically halting. ‘You’re probably wondering why I’m ringing and, in a way, so am I. Something has happened and Mum and Dad said that under no circumstances was I to tell you, but I reckon you should know. It’s that prick you were married to. I know I’ve made things up about him before, but I’m telling the truth this time.’
‘Go on.’
‘We saw him in town tonight. He was with a girl and he was all over her like a dose of scabies.’
‘In what way?’ I was curious to know what they’d been up to.
‘He had his hand on her waist.’
‘Is that all?’
‘Well, lower down, actually,’ she admitted. ‘Sort of on her arse. He was squeezing it and she was giggling.’
I closed my eyes. Too much information. Yet I wanted more.
‘What was she like?’
‘Disfigured.’
‘Really?’
‘Well no, but I can arrange it.’
‘For God’s sake, Helen, it’s not her fault.’
‘OK, him then. I can get someone to hurt him badly. It could be my birthday present to you. Or I’ll swap it for your hand-bag.’
‘No. Please.’
‘We could burn his house down.’
‘Don’t do that. It’s half mine.’
‘Oh, yeah.’
‘Promise me you won’t do anything. I can live with it, I swear.’
‘I’m very sorry,’ she said, sounding it. I was touched. ‘You could at least let me organize to have his legs broken,’ she added.
Within seconds of me putting the phone down, it rang again. Anna.
‘Another sister,’ I heard Emily say to the assembled listeners as, for the third time in ten minutes, I closed the bedroom door behind me.
‘Hi Anna,’ I said briskly, keen to preempt her pity and awkwardness – I’d had enough of it. ‘Thank you for ringing, but I know all about Garv and his new girlfriend.’
‘What?’
‘I know all about Garv and the girl. Mum, Dad and Helen have all rung me separately about it. What took you so long?’
‘Garv has a new GIRLFRIEND?’ She sounded appalled.
‘You didn’t know?’
‘No.’
‘Oh.’ I suppose she’d never been the sharpest knife in the drawer. ‘So why were you ringing?’
Big long pause, then an audible gulp. ‘I crashed your car.’
Another big long pause, then an audible sigh. ‘Badly?’
‘What does “badly” mean?’
‘Did you kill anyone?’
I said I was, but actually I had no idea how I felt.
‘Did you recognize the girl?’ My heart rate increased dramatically.
‘No, no, I didn’t.’
I blew out a stream of air. So at least it wasn’t one of my friends.
‘I’m fierce sorry about this, pet,’ he said miserably.
You fucker, Garv, I thought. Doing this not just to me, but to my poor dad.
‘Don’t worry, Dad, it was probably his cousin.’
‘Do you think?’ he asked eagerly.
‘No,’ I sighed. ‘But it doesn’t matter anyway, it really doesn’t.’
Punch-drunk I hung up. What the hell did ‘fond’ mean? What were they doing? Snogging in the street?
I turned to see a frozen tableau of stares. Even Desiree’s head was to one side in compassionate enquiry.
‘What’s happened?’ Emily asked.
I was too shocked to dissemble, and the response from all of them was immediate and steeped in kindness. Lara poured me a drink, Emily lit me a cigarette, Justin rubbed the pressure points on my temples, Troy recommended deep breathing and Desiree gave me a consolatory lick.
‘You had already split up?’ Lara asked.
‘Yeah, but…’
‘I know. Yeah, but…’ she repeated, with understanding. ‘We’ve all been there.’
In the middle of the fuss, the phone rang again and Emily answered it. Her face was a picture of reluctance. ‘It’s your mum.’
I took the phone and made for my bedroom.
‘Margaret?’
‘Hi, Mum.’ I closed the door behind me.
‘It’s Mum.’
‘I know.’ And I know why you’re ringing.
‘How are you getting on? Is it still sunny?’
‘Yes. And I still haven’t fallen into the San Andreas fault.’
‘I’ve something to tell you and I’m going to give it to you straight. No point beating round the bush. If someone’s got something to say, they might as well say it…’
‘Mum…’
‘It’s that Paul you were married to,’ she blurted. ‘We passed him tonight in town. He was walking along Dame Street and he was with a… a… girl. They looked quite enamoured with each other.’
So it’s enamoured now. Fond was bad enough. I swallowed with effort. The bastard, I thought. The bastarding bastard.
‘Your father was all for keeping it from you, but you’re like me, you’ve your pride, you’d rather know.’
True perhaps, yet it still made me angry.
‘I’m very sorry.’ She sounded suddenly teary. ‘And I’m sorry I didn’t understand when you said you’d left him. If there’s anything I can do…’
Abruptly I remembered how, a couple of times, I’d had the urge to phone him; I was transported with insane gladness that I hadn’t. Could you imagine if she’d been there? If she’d answered? I’d have been so humiliated.
‘Did you recognize her?’
‘No, no I didn’t.’
When I emerged, Troy observed, ‘Your mom? Good news travels fast.’
Emily squeezed my trembling hands, trying to stop the tremors, while a flurry of comforting platitudes rained down on top of me. I’d get over it. The pain would pass. It was horrible now, but it would get better…
The phone rang again. We all looked at each other. What now?
‘Helen,’ Emily said, giving me the phone. ‘Her sister,’ she explained to the others.
Once again I found myself in my bedroom. ‘Helen?’
She sounded uncharacteristically halting. ‘You’re probably wondering why I’m ringing and, in a way, so am I. Something has happened and Mum and Dad said that under no circumstances was I to tell you, but I reckon you should know. It’s that prick you were married to. I know I’ve made things up about him before, but I’m telling the truth this time.’
‘Go on.’
‘We saw him in town tonight. He was with a girl and he was all over her like a dose of scabies.’
‘In what way?’ I was curious to know what they’d been up to.
‘He had his hand on her waist.’
‘Is that all?’
‘Well, lower down, actually,’ she admitted. ‘Sort of on her arse. He was squeezing it and she was giggling.’
I closed my eyes. Too much information. Yet I wanted more.
‘What was she like?’
‘Disfigured.’
‘Really?’
‘Well no, but I can arrange it.’
‘For God’s sake, Helen, it’s not her fault.’
‘OK, him then. I can get someone to hurt him badly. It could be my birthday present to you. Or I’ll swap it for your hand-bag.’
‘No. Please.’
‘We could burn his house down.’
‘Don’t do that. It’s half mine.’
‘Oh, yeah.’
‘Promise me you won’t do anything. I can live with it, I swear.’
‘I’m very sorry,’ she said, sounding it. I was touched. ‘You could at least let me organize to have his legs broken,’ she added.
Within seconds of me putting the phone down, it rang again. Anna.
‘Another sister,’ I heard Emily say to the assembled listeners as, for the third time in ten minutes, I closed the bedroom door behind me.
‘Hi Anna,’ I said briskly, keen to preempt her pity and awkwardness – I’d had enough of it. ‘Thank you for ringing, but I know all about Garv and his new girlfriend.’
‘What?’
‘I know all about Garv and the girl. Mum, Dad and Helen have all rung me separately about it. What took you so long?’
‘Garv has a new GIRLFRIEND?’ She sounded appalled.
‘You didn’t know?’
‘No.’
‘Oh.’ I suppose she’d never been the sharpest knife in the drawer. ‘So why were you ringing?’
Big long pause, then an audible gulp. ‘I crashed your car.’
Another big long pause, then an audible sigh. ‘Badly?’
‘What does “badly” mean?’
‘Did you kill anyone?’
