With that, Justin and I exchanged a high five with our eyes, then peeled away, leaving Kirsty with her reputation as a food guru in tatters.
Just when I thought I was in the clear, Shay Delaney arrived.
All evening I’d been as tense as an exam hall, wondering if he’d show, but the more time had passed the less likely it had been that he’d appear. Naturally enough, the minute I decided he wasn’t coming was when I spotted a tall, dark-blond head across the garden. It couldn’t be…
It was.
Every one of my muscles tensed as I waited for him to notice me. And waited. And waited…
He seemed to know almost everyone. Heads were thrown back and laughter floated at me as he worked the garden and chewed the fat with David Crowe, Connie, and Emily’s friend Dirk. Well, they say the movie world is very small.
Finally, unable to bear the suspense, I placed myself in his path.
Just like the last time, he looked gratifyingly shocked. ‘Maggie Garvan!’
‘Walsh,’ I corrected, defiantly – the last time we’d met I’d have died if he’d found out about the breakdown of my marriage, and now I was determined that he should know about it.
‘Walsh?’
‘Yeah, Walsh.’
‘Oh. So, what are you doing here?’
‘Taking some down time.’
‘Staying with Emily?’
‘Yes.’
And then – just like the last time – ‘Well, great to see you,’ and he stuck out his hand for me to shake, then off he went, leaving me in a huge pool of anti-climax. I wanted to call after him, Dont you want to know what happened? Why I’m Walsh now instead of Garvan?
My mood darkened further. It was no fun being at a party where I’d been rejected by two of the men present. Why didn’t they just fly Garv in to complete the set? Even though I’d had a laugh at Kirsty’s expense, she was the one with Troy by her side. And there was Shay Delaney, hail-fellow-well-met-ing his way around the party, but he wasn’t coming within a mile of me.
Well, I thought with a sigh, maybe he feels guilty. And maybe he should.
Without warning, Curtis bumped into me, jogging my drink and squeezing his weight down on to my toes. As sticky champagne slopped over my hands, rage leapt in me and at that moment I’d have had the strength to throttle him with my bare hands.
Maybe Kirsty was right, maybe I was pre-menstrual.
Tetchily, I sucked the champagne off my fingers and, all of a sudden, I got that tingly, hair-lifting feeling you get when someone is staring at you. I looked up and around the garden and my gaze landed on Lara. She was watching me. When she saw I’d noticed her, her face changed and she playfully rolled her eyes after Curtis, then flashed me her radiant smile, which seemed more radiant than usual. I smiled back, feeling a little head-spinny, a little off-balance, and a funny anticipation began to flicker in the pit of my stomach.
Most people left around midnight. Most people except for those I really wanted to see the back of: Troy, Kirsty and Shay arranged themselves in the kitchen around Emily, talking excitedly and roaring laughing. While, glowering with resentment, I trudged back and forth from the garden, carrying glasses, bottles and leftover food. Lara and Ethan flitted around me, loading the dishwasher in Lara’s case and finishing any half-drunk glasses in Ethan’s. Both, in their way, were helping.
‘Excuse me,’ I said, pushing past Troy to get to the bin and accidentally-on-purpose sticking a fork into the back of his leg.
‘Ow!’
‘Sorry,’ I said, trying my very best not to sound it.
As I crumpled a paper plate into the bin, plans were being made for the following night: Troy, Shay and Emily felt that they could help each other out in their respective careers, and they were going out for dinner to discuss it.
‘You’ll come too, won’t you, Maggie?’ Emily invited.
‘Yοιι might find it kinda boring, Irish,’ might find it kinda boring, Irish,’ Troy said, a little too quickly for my liking.
‘Probably.’ I straightened up from the bin, looked at him hard and tried to invest my tone with unpleasant meaning.
But before it got any nastier, Lara interjected cheerily, ‘Hey, Maggie, come out with me tomorrow night. Those guys are going to be talking work, but you and me – we can have fun!’ She winked flirtatiously at me and confusion dulled my reactions. I wasn’t imagining this. Was I?
No, I wasn’t, because next thing she was sliding her arm around my waist. ‘Don’t worry, guys, I’ll take care of Maggie. Real good care. Right, Maggie?’ She tickled my waist with her fingers and I twisted around to look into her aquamarine eyes. As so often with her, I felt railroaded – and I liked it.
‘Right, Lara,’ I said, with a huge, happy smile, then brazenly moved to kiss her. It was quite chaste – i.e. no tongues – but had a sweet, lingering quality, so that when we opened our eyes and turned back to the others, we were slap bang in the middle of what could only be described as an ‘atmosphere’: Troy, Kirsty, Emily and Shay were pictures of disbelief and confusion.
‘Oh man,’ Ethan groaned, rearranging his crotch.
As soon as they’d all gone home, Emily pounced. ‘What’s going on with you and Lara?’
‘I don’t know. Nothing.’ But honesty compelled me to add, ‘Yet.’
‘Yet? Maggie! You mean you’re planning…?’
I nodded. ‘Yeah, maybe. Probably’ ‘But you’re straight!’
After a stretch of silence, I made myself say it. ‘I’m not sure I am, you know.
‘What the HELL are you talking about?’
‘Well…’ It was difficult for me to voice this. Very difficult. ‘You know – ‘I swallowed hard. ‘You know if you’re watching a porn film?’
Emily’s face was a picture. Though we’d discussed almost everything else that had ever happened to us, pornography was a neglected area.
‘Please don’t look at me like that!’ I implored. ‘It’s not like it sounds. I don’t have any, but if I’m away in a hotel with Garv and they have it on the in-house movies, then sometimes…’
‘Mmm.’
‘I’ve never admitted this before, but I wasn’t interested in the men in the films.’ I looked at her, hoping for some sort of encouragement, but she was expressionless. ‘They were just plastic-looking, over-developed bodies. To be honest, I actually found them quite repulsive.’
Just when I thought I was in the clear, Shay Delaney arrived.
All evening I’d been as tense as an exam hall, wondering if he’d show, but the more time had passed the less likely it had been that he’d appear. Naturally enough, the minute I decided he wasn’t coming was when I spotted a tall, dark-blond head across the garden. It couldn’t be…
It was.
Every one of my muscles tensed as I waited for him to notice me. And waited. And waited…
He seemed to know almost everyone. Heads were thrown back and laughter floated at me as he worked the garden and chewed the fat with David Crowe, Connie, and Emily’s friend Dirk. Well, they say the movie world is very small.
Finally, unable to bear the suspense, I placed myself in his path.
Just like the last time, he looked gratifyingly shocked. ‘Maggie Garvan!’
‘Walsh,’ I corrected, defiantly – the last time we’d met I’d have died if he’d found out about the breakdown of my marriage, and now I was determined that he should know about it.
‘Walsh?’
‘Yeah, Walsh.’
‘Oh. So, what are you doing here?’
‘Taking some down time.’
‘Staying with Emily?’
‘Yes.’
And then – just like the last time – ‘Well, great to see you,’ and he stuck out his hand for me to shake, then off he went, leaving me in a huge pool of anti-climax. I wanted to call after him, Dont you want to know what happened? Why I’m Walsh now instead of Garvan?
My mood darkened further. It was no fun being at a party where I’d been rejected by two of the men present. Why didn’t they just fly Garv in to complete the set? Even though I’d had a laugh at Kirsty’s expense, she was the one with Troy by her side. And there was Shay Delaney, hail-fellow-well-met-ing his way around the party, but he wasn’t coming within a mile of me.
Well, I thought with a sigh, maybe he feels guilty. And maybe he should.
Without warning, Curtis bumped into me, jogging my drink and squeezing his weight down on to my toes. As sticky champagne slopped over my hands, rage leapt in me and at that moment I’d have had the strength to throttle him with my bare hands.
Maybe Kirsty was right, maybe I was pre-menstrual.
Tetchily, I sucked the champagne off my fingers and, all of a sudden, I got that tingly, hair-lifting feeling you get when someone is staring at you. I looked up and around the garden and my gaze landed on Lara. She was watching me. When she saw I’d noticed her, her face changed and she playfully rolled her eyes after Curtis, then flashed me her radiant smile, which seemed more radiant than usual. I smiled back, feeling a little head-spinny, a little off-balance, and a funny anticipation began to flicker in the pit of my stomach.
Most people left around midnight. Most people except for those I really wanted to see the back of: Troy, Kirsty and Shay arranged themselves in the kitchen around Emily, talking excitedly and roaring laughing. While, glowering with resentment, I trudged back and forth from the garden, carrying glasses, bottles and leftover food. Lara and Ethan flitted around me, loading the dishwasher in Lara’s case and finishing any half-drunk glasses in Ethan’s. Both, in their way, were helping.
‘Excuse me,’ I said, pushing past Troy to get to the bin and accidentally-on-purpose sticking a fork into the back of his leg.
‘Ow!’
‘Sorry,’ I said, trying my very best not to sound it.
As I crumpled a paper plate into the bin, plans were being made for the following night: Troy, Shay and Emily felt that they could help each other out in their respective careers, and they were going out for dinner to discuss it.
‘You’ll come too, won’t you, Maggie?’ Emily invited.
‘Yοιι might find it kinda boring, Irish,’ might find it kinda boring, Irish,’ Troy said, a little too quickly for my liking.
‘Probably.’ I straightened up from the bin, looked at him hard and tried to invest my tone with unpleasant meaning.
But before it got any nastier, Lara interjected cheerily, ‘Hey, Maggie, come out with me tomorrow night. Those guys are going to be talking work, but you and me – we can have fun!’ She winked flirtatiously at me and confusion dulled my reactions. I wasn’t imagining this. Was I?
No, I wasn’t, because next thing she was sliding her arm around my waist. ‘Don’t worry, guys, I’ll take care of Maggie. Real good care. Right, Maggie?’ She tickled my waist with her fingers and I twisted around to look into her aquamarine eyes. As so often with her, I felt railroaded – and I liked it.
‘Right, Lara,’ I said, with a huge, happy smile, then brazenly moved to kiss her. It was quite chaste – i.e. no tongues – but had a sweet, lingering quality, so that when we opened our eyes and turned back to the others, we were slap bang in the middle of what could only be described as an ‘atmosphere’: Troy, Kirsty, Emily and Shay were pictures of disbelief and confusion.
‘Oh man,’ Ethan groaned, rearranging his crotch.
As soon as they’d all gone home, Emily pounced. ‘What’s going on with you and Lara?’
‘I don’t know. Nothing.’ But honesty compelled me to add, ‘Yet.’
‘Yet? Maggie! You mean you’re planning…?’
I nodded. ‘Yeah, maybe. Probably’ ‘But you’re straight!’
After a stretch of silence, I made myself say it. ‘I’m not sure I am, you know.
‘What the HELL are you talking about?’
‘Well…’ It was difficult for me to voice this. Very difficult. ‘You know – ‘I swallowed hard. ‘You know if you’re watching a porn film?’
Emily’s face was a picture. Though we’d discussed almost everything else that had ever happened to us, pornography was a neglected area.
‘Please don’t look at me like that!’ I implored. ‘It’s not like it sounds. I don’t have any, but if I’m away in a hotel with Garv and they have it on the in-house movies, then sometimes…’
‘Mmm.’
‘I’ve never admitted this before, but I wasn’t interested in the men in the films.’ I looked at her, hoping for some sort of encouragement, but she was expressionless. ‘They were just plastic-looking, over-developed bodies. To be honest, I actually found them quite repulsive.’
