He didn’t respond, and I knew at that moment, he realized what and who I was talking about.
“Well, shit,” he grumbled. “Okay. I’ll see if they are good with me covering tonight. You go deal with—” He paused a moment. “You know what you’re doing, right? Don’t break her.”
Her big confused eyes were watching me closely. “It’s me that you should be worried about. I’d jump off a cliff, you know?”
He let out a low whistle. “Damn. Okay. I’ll talk to you later.”
I ended the call and dropped the phone. Then I slipped my hand up to cup Blythe’s face. “I need you to understand something,” I told her. “From the moment you walked into my life, you have never ruined anything. You light up the things you touch. You’re gonna trust me enough to tell me why you seem to have this completely warped view of yourself. But I’ll earn that trust first.”
She leaned into my hand, and for the first time some of the tension in her body eased. “I think you’re very confused about me. I don’t know why you don’t see me correctly,” she said softly.
I hated that. I hated that she thought I saw something no one else did. My sister fell in love with her today. It was all over Trisha’s face when I walked into that kitchen. She was ready to take a side, and it wasn’t gonna be mine. And Trisha always took my side. Today she’d found someone else she was willing to turn on me for. And instead of making me mad, it made me want to laugh. It wasn’t just me Blythe charmed—it was everyone. But she didn’t f**king see it. Amanda Hardy had come close to taking a bat to me. She’d won her over in even less time.
“I’m gonna spend my life convincing you of how wrong you are,” I told her.
Blythe bit her lip and ducked her head. Dark locks fell over her face, blocking me from her eyes, and I couldn’t have that. I tucked the hair back behind her ear. I wasn’t worthy of her, but I needed her. I couldn’t keep this up. I wanted to be around her all the time. I didn’t want to have to make up excuses to see her.
“This thing with you and Linc . . . ?” I started to ask, then stopped myself. What would I do if she said they were serious? Respect that? Hell no. Linc might be right for her, but did he need her to breathe?
She shrugged. “He’s a friend. We went on two dates,” she replied.
That was enough. I didn’t want her thinking about it too much. She might realize Linc was the better option. I slid my hands into her hair and pulled her head to me. Then I cupped her face in my hands again. My heart started slamming against my ribs as her breath drifted over my skin. She was so close. So damn precious.
Tilting my head, I pressed my lips to hers, and the sharp intake of breath then immediate response from her body as her hands flew up to grab my shoulders and squeeze made me light-headed.
She tasted like warm summer sunshine and crisp apples. All the goodness I’d seen from a distance but never experienced was there with the gentle flick of her tongue against mine. I wanted to soak in this moment and devour her all at one time. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her tightly to me until her chest pressed against mine and her erratic heartbeat matched my own.
I couldn’t get enough of her. I tore my mouth from hers, and a groan of protest escaped her lips as I trailed kisses down her neck. I tasted her with my tongue and ran my hands down her sides and back up again, trying so hard to keep them safe. She was innocent. If I let myself go, I would scare her, and that was the last thing I wanted. Winning her trust was everything. I wanted to be worthy of something. If I could be worthy of her trust, maybe that would make this okay.
Chapter Twelve
BLYTHE
My body was on fire. There was no other explanation. Everything was sensitive. And I mean everything. Parts of me were throbbing that I hadn’t had throb before. My br**sts felt so full and achy, I wanted to scream for Krit to help me. Each time his hands slid up my sides and his thumb came so close to brushing the side of my boobs, I stopped breathing.
That mixed with the feeling of his tongue flicking out and running over parts of my neck and collarbone was enough to cause heart failure. He was experienced. He would know if this was dangerous, right? Because I wasn’t sure I could handle much more. I needed something, but I didn’t know what or if it was normal. As good as it felt, it scared me.
The metal bar that pierced his tongue touched just under my chin as he made his way back up to my mouth. A whimper filled the room, and it took me a moment to realize that it was coming from me. I didn’t know I could make noises like those. If I wasn’t battling so hard to keep oxygen flowing in and out of my lungs, I might have been embarrassed by my reaction to his kisses. I wanted him to stop and let me breathe but then I was terrified he wouldn’t do this again.
“Sweetheart,” he said in a hoarse whisper as he nuzzled my neck and licked me again. He was being tender and gentle. I trusted him. My mind was screaming at me that I shouldn’t trust him but my heart wanted to. It wanted to so badly.
I tried to form words to tell him to slow down and give me a moment but I just pressed closer to him. His heat was the only thing my body seemed to want right now. His hand slid back up my side and this time his thumb was so close to the side of my boobs. I was wearing a bra but it wasn’t thick. I already dealt with big enough boobs I didn’t want to make them look any bigger with padded bras. So the thin fabric of my sundress and the satin of my bra wasn’t much barrier from the gentle touch of his thumb. He was almost there.
“What do you want, Blythe,” he said as he pulled my earlobe into his mouth and sucked on it causing me to tremble.
I could tell him now to stop and slow down. I could use this moment to remember why this was a bad idea. I had never done anything like this. But I didn’t. Because more than anything else I wanted his thumb to stop teasing me. I wanted his hands on my br**sts. My ni**les were aching so bad and if he didn’t grab them I was going to have to.
He ran his nose along the line from my ear to my chin, then pressed a kiss to my lips. “Tell me, sweetheart. What do you need?”
“Touch me,” I begged, too incredibly past the point of need to be humiliated.
His hands moved, and his thumb was gone, causing me to cry out in frustration. Then the zipper at the back of my dress slowly slid down, and I stopped breathing, unsure if this was what I wanted. Having his hands on me was one thing, but seeing me was another. What if he didn’t like how I looked?
I couldn’t stand the idea of him walking away and leaving me there after I had been given a taste of this. Of him. The straps of my dress fell away and slid down my arms. I kept my eyes closed tightly and tried to inhale and exhale.
“Jesus,” he said in a reverent tone that didn’t sound like he was praying at all.
I opened my eyes to see his hands cover each of my br**sts. I let out a strangled sound, and he inhaled sharply as his eyes swung up to meet mine. I needed more than that. The heat from his palm was teasing me. The achiness grew, and I felt as if my boobs had swollen under his touch.
“Always so perfect,” he muttered as he lowered his head, his eyes still locked on mine. He pressed a kiss to the top of each mound. Then finally his hands moved, gently squeezing, and then his thumbs pressed against each nipple. I let out a scream and arched into him again.
Krit’s eyes flashed brightly as if something inside of him had suddenly lit on fire. “Fuck, love,” he said right before he touched me again.
“Please,” I begged this time, then I cried out. I wasn’t sure what I was begging for, but I was desperate for it.
His hands left me, and I was ready to snatch them and put them right back, when my bra fell open and Krit was pushing it down my arms. Then it was gone.
I was bare. For the first time in my life, someone was seeing me naked. The terror that should be there wasn’t. Not with Krit. It felt right. His hands came up to cup each breast. He squeezed and inhaled sharply again as he fondled them. I began to squirm and plead. This wasn’t me at all. I couldn’t believe how I was acting.
Instead of freaking him out, my actions seemed to excite him. He began to get more aggressive as he pinched each nipple and tugged on them. He sent me into a frenzy of panting, and I had to grab his arms to keep from falling. A strange haze was coming over me, and I was scared of it and clambering closer to it all at one time. More was all I could think about.
When a wet heat pulled a nipple in, my eyes snapped open and I cried out Krit’s name. His lips were wrapped around my nipple while his eyes were locked on my face. Then he began to suck, and I lost any train of thought I had been pitifully holding onto. With each tug of his mouth, I could feel the bar in his tongue rub against my sensitive flesh. I grabbed at him as everything began to spiral out of control around me. I was going under, but the pleasure coursing through me made me not care where it was I was falling. Grabbing handfuls of Krit’s hair, I began crying out his name and holding him to me. I couldn’t bare the idea that he might stop this. Nothing had ever been this amazing.
The flame that was consuming me burst wide open and swallowed me as I trembled and lost all conscious thought other than the blissful wonder that had taken over my body.
Slowly, the wonderment began to fade as I sank back to Earth. My head was tucked against Krit’s chest, and one of his hands was wrapped tightly around me while the other one caressed my back in lazy strokes. I didn’t move. I liked the way it felt being held like this.
I would have to face him soon enough. Right now I wanted everything he was willing to give before he got up and walked out of there. I knew without a doubt this was not a “friend” thing. It wasn’t okay for friends to do what we had done. Yet I had begged him to touch me. I had pushed him to do what he’d done.
He turned his head and pressed a kiss to the side of my head. “You back with me?” he asked in a tender voice that was too much for me at the moment. What had I done?
“Yeah,” I said, not looking at him or moving from the comfort of his hard chest.
He continued to run his fingertips down my bare back. “Are you okay?” he asked.
I nodded.
“That was your first orgasm, wasn’t it?” he said. But it wasn’t a question.
I nodded a second time. It was my first everything. And I didn’t want it to be a mistake. It would kill me if it was.
He kissed my head again then tangled his hands in my hair and let the strands fall from his grasp before returning to stroking my back.
“Thank you,” he said in a husky whisper.
Why was he thanking me? I was the one who had just been shown what heaven was like. Not him. I pulled back just enough so that I could look up at him. He didn’t ease his hold on me. He tugged me close to him again.
“Easy, love. I’m being a good boy, but you just fell apart in my arms and looked like every f**king fantasy that I’ve ever had. And if you show me those perfect titties again, I can’t promise I’ll be able to keep being a good boy.”
A smile tugged at my lips just before a giggle broke free. How was he able to do that? I was nervous and worried, and with one sentence he eased my nerves and made me laugh.
“They’re jiggling, sweetheart. Please have some mercy on me and be still,” he said as he hissed through his teeth and pulled me back up against his chest tightly. “There, that keeps them out of sight and still.”
I couldn’t even remember what it was I had been going to say to him, so I cuddled back into his chest and lay there. I didn’t want him to leave. Ever. This was perfect. I didn’t even care that I was topless.
We sat there quietly as he continued to run his fingertips down my back, and then he moved to my arms and shoulders. I sank deeper into him and then wrapped an arm up around his neck.
His breathing changed, and I realized he had stopped rubbing me. I moved to look up at him. He snapped his eyes closed and took a deep breath.
“Go put a bra on and one of those big-ass sweatshirts of yours. Please,” he said as he continued to sit there with his eyes tightly closed.
“I took those to the Goodwill,” I explained.
He let out a frustrated growl. “Fuck.”
He liked the way I looked. He was trying to be good and not touch me again. The silly smile on my face only got bigger. If he liked touching me, I wanted to do that again too. I loved the way he had made me feel.
“Krit,” I said, reaching out and touching his face.
He flinched then leaned into my hand. “Yes, love?” He didn’t open his eyes. This was becoming amusing.
“Can we do that again? I mean, if you’re trying to be good because you don’t think I want you to do that again, then you’re wrong. I liked that very much.”
Krit let out a shaky laugh and covered his face with both of his hands and rubbed it hard while groaning. “God, sweetheart. If that was all I wanted to do, then I would take you up on it, but that’s not all I want.” His voice lowered as he let his hands fall to his lap and his eyes lock on my chest. He stared at me hungrily before lifting his eyes to look at my face. “I want you flat on your back underneath me while I fill you over and over. I want to hear you scream my name while you fly off into that happy place with me inside of you, being squeezed by your tight little pu**y as it convulses with an orgasm around me. I want you to claw at my back and beg me while I kiss every last inch of this body. But I’m not going to do that tonight. Because I don’t deserve it. I’m not sure anyone on this Earth is worthy of that. Of you. So, I need you to go get covered up and then come back in here and cuddle up with me on this sofa while we’ll watch a movie.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. What he described I wanted very much. But I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. That kind of connection and vulnerability. Then there was the girl: Britt. It had been just a few hours ago that I had heard her screaming his name. No. I wasn’t ready. As wonderful as that sounded, he had been with someone else today. I couldn’t be that girl for him. One that was okay with sharing him. I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing him with other girls now that he had touched my boobs.
“Well, shit,” he grumbled. “Okay. I’ll see if they are good with me covering tonight. You go deal with—” He paused a moment. “You know what you’re doing, right? Don’t break her.”
Her big confused eyes were watching me closely. “It’s me that you should be worried about. I’d jump off a cliff, you know?”
He let out a low whistle. “Damn. Okay. I’ll talk to you later.”
I ended the call and dropped the phone. Then I slipped my hand up to cup Blythe’s face. “I need you to understand something,” I told her. “From the moment you walked into my life, you have never ruined anything. You light up the things you touch. You’re gonna trust me enough to tell me why you seem to have this completely warped view of yourself. But I’ll earn that trust first.”
She leaned into my hand, and for the first time some of the tension in her body eased. “I think you’re very confused about me. I don’t know why you don’t see me correctly,” she said softly.
I hated that. I hated that she thought I saw something no one else did. My sister fell in love with her today. It was all over Trisha’s face when I walked into that kitchen. She was ready to take a side, and it wasn’t gonna be mine. And Trisha always took my side. Today she’d found someone else she was willing to turn on me for. And instead of making me mad, it made me want to laugh. It wasn’t just me Blythe charmed—it was everyone. But she didn’t f**king see it. Amanda Hardy had come close to taking a bat to me. She’d won her over in even less time.
“I’m gonna spend my life convincing you of how wrong you are,” I told her.
Blythe bit her lip and ducked her head. Dark locks fell over her face, blocking me from her eyes, and I couldn’t have that. I tucked the hair back behind her ear. I wasn’t worthy of her, but I needed her. I couldn’t keep this up. I wanted to be around her all the time. I didn’t want to have to make up excuses to see her.
“This thing with you and Linc . . . ?” I started to ask, then stopped myself. What would I do if she said they were serious? Respect that? Hell no. Linc might be right for her, but did he need her to breathe?
She shrugged. “He’s a friend. We went on two dates,” she replied.
That was enough. I didn’t want her thinking about it too much. She might realize Linc was the better option. I slid my hands into her hair and pulled her head to me. Then I cupped her face in my hands again. My heart started slamming against my ribs as her breath drifted over my skin. She was so close. So damn precious.
Tilting my head, I pressed my lips to hers, and the sharp intake of breath then immediate response from her body as her hands flew up to grab my shoulders and squeeze made me light-headed.
She tasted like warm summer sunshine and crisp apples. All the goodness I’d seen from a distance but never experienced was there with the gentle flick of her tongue against mine. I wanted to soak in this moment and devour her all at one time. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her tightly to me until her chest pressed against mine and her erratic heartbeat matched my own.
I couldn’t get enough of her. I tore my mouth from hers, and a groan of protest escaped her lips as I trailed kisses down her neck. I tasted her with my tongue and ran my hands down her sides and back up again, trying so hard to keep them safe. She was innocent. If I let myself go, I would scare her, and that was the last thing I wanted. Winning her trust was everything. I wanted to be worthy of something. If I could be worthy of her trust, maybe that would make this okay.
Chapter Twelve
BLYTHE
My body was on fire. There was no other explanation. Everything was sensitive. And I mean everything. Parts of me were throbbing that I hadn’t had throb before. My br**sts felt so full and achy, I wanted to scream for Krit to help me. Each time his hands slid up my sides and his thumb came so close to brushing the side of my boobs, I stopped breathing.
That mixed with the feeling of his tongue flicking out and running over parts of my neck and collarbone was enough to cause heart failure. He was experienced. He would know if this was dangerous, right? Because I wasn’t sure I could handle much more. I needed something, but I didn’t know what or if it was normal. As good as it felt, it scared me.
The metal bar that pierced his tongue touched just under my chin as he made his way back up to my mouth. A whimper filled the room, and it took me a moment to realize that it was coming from me. I didn’t know I could make noises like those. If I wasn’t battling so hard to keep oxygen flowing in and out of my lungs, I might have been embarrassed by my reaction to his kisses. I wanted him to stop and let me breathe but then I was terrified he wouldn’t do this again.
“Sweetheart,” he said in a hoarse whisper as he nuzzled my neck and licked me again. He was being tender and gentle. I trusted him. My mind was screaming at me that I shouldn’t trust him but my heart wanted to. It wanted to so badly.
I tried to form words to tell him to slow down and give me a moment but I just pressed closer to him. His heat was the only thing my body seemed to want right now. His hand slid back up my side and this time his thumb was so close to the side of my boobs. I was wearing a bra but it wasn’t thick. I already dealt with big enough boobs I didn’t want to make them look any bigger with padded bras. So the thin fabric of my sundress and the satin of my bra wasn’t much barrier from the gentle touch of his thumb. He was almost there.
“What do you want, Blythe,” he said as he pulled my earlobe into his mouth and sucked on it causing me to tremble.
I could tell him now to stop and slow down. I could use this moment to remember why this was a bad idea. I had never done anything like this. But I didn’t. Because more than anything else I wanted his thumb to stop teasing me. I wanted his hands on my br**sts. My ni**les were aching so bad and if he didn’t grab them I was going to have to.
He ran his nose along the line from my ear to my chin, then pressed a kiss to my lips. “Tell me, sweetheart. What do you need?”
“Touch me,” I begged, too incredibly past the point of need to be humiliated.
His hands moved, and his thumb was gone, causing me to cry out in frustration. Then the zipper at the back of my dress slowly slid down, and I stopped breathing, unsure if this was what I wanted. Having his hands on me was one thing, but seeing me was another. What if he didn’t like how I looked?
I couldn’t stand the idea of him walking away and leaving me there after I had been given a taste of this. Of him. The straps of my dress fell away and slid down my arms. I kept my eyes closed tightly and tried to inhale and exhale.
“Jesus,” he said in a reverent tone that didn’t sound like he was praying at all.
I opened my eyes to see his hands cover each of my br**sts. I let out a strangled sound, and he inhaled sharply as his eyes swung up to meet mine. I needed more than that. The heat from his palm was teasing me. The achiness grew, and I felt as if my boobs had swollen under his touch.
“Always so perfect,” he muttered as he lowered his head, his eyes still locked on mine. He pressed a kiss to the top of each mound. Then finally his hands moved, gently squeezing, and then his thumbs pressed against each nipple. I let out a scream and arched into him again.
Krit’s eyes flashed brightly as if something inside of him had suddenly lit on fire. “Fuck, love,” he said right before he touched me again.
“Please,” I begged this time, then I cried out. I wasn’t sure what I was begging for, but I was desperate for it.
His hands left me, and I was ready to snatch them and put them right back, when my bra fell open and Krit was pushing it down my arms. Then it was gone.
I was bare. For the first time in my life, someone was seeing me naked. The terror that should be there wasn’t. Not with Krit. It felt right. His hands came up to cup each breast. He squeezed and inhaled sharply again as he fondled them. I began to squirm and plead. This wasn’t me at all. I couldn’t believe how I was acting.
Instead of freaking him out, my actions seemed to excite him. He began to get more aggressive as he pinched each nipple and tugged on them. He sent me into a frenzy of panting, and I had to grab his arms to keep from falling. A strange haze was coming over me, and I was scared of it and clambering closer to it all at one time. More was all I could think about.
When a wet heat pulled a nipple in, my eyes snapped open and I cried out Krit’s name. His lips were wrapped around my nipple while his eyes were locked on my face. Then he began to suck, and I lost any train of thought I had been pitifully holding onto. With each tug of his mouth, I could feel the bar in his tongue rub against my sensitive flesh. I grabbed at him as everything began to spiral out of control around me. I was going under, but the pleasure coursing through me made me not care where it was I was falling. Grabbing handfuls of Krit’s hair, I began crying out his name and holding him to me. I couldn’t bare the idea that he might stop this. Nothing had ever been this amazing.
The flame that was consuming me burst wide open and swallowed me as I trembled and lost all conscious thought other than the blissful wonder that had taken over my body.
Slowly, the wonderment began to fade as I sank back to Earth. My head was tucked against Krit’s chest, and one of his hands was wrapped tightly around me while the other one caressed my back in lazy strokes. I didn’t move. I liked the way it felt being held like this.
I would have to face him soon enough. Right now I wanted everything he was willing to give before he got up and walked out of there. I knew without a doubt this was not a “friend” thing. It wasn’t okay for friends to do what we had done. Yet I had begged him to touch me. I had pushed him to do what he’d done.
He turned his head and pressed a kiss to the side of my head. “You back with me?” he asked in a tender voice that was too much for me at the moment. What had I done?
“Yeah,” I said, not looking at him or moving from the comfort of his hard chest.
He continued to run his fingertips down my bare back. “Are you okay?” he asked.
I nodded.
“That was your first orgasm, wasn’t it?” he said. But it wasn’t a question.
I nodded a second time. It was my first everything. And I didn’t want it to be a mistake. It would kill me if it was.
He kissed my head again then tangled his hands in my hair and let the strands fall from his grasp before returning to stroking my back.
“Thank you,” he said in a husky whisper.
Why was he thanking me? I was the one who had just been shown what heaven was like. Not him. I pulled back just enough so that I could look up at him. He didn’t ease his hold on me. He tugged me close to him again.
“Easy, love. I’m being a good boy, but you just fell apart in my arms and looked like every f**king fantasy that I’ve ever had. And if you show me those perfect titties again, I can’t promise I’ll be able to keep being a good boy.”
A smile tugged at my lips just before a giggle broke free. How was he able to do that? I was nervous and worried, and with one sentence he eased my nerves and made me laugh.
“They’re jiggling, sweetheart. Please have some mercy on me and be still,” he said as he hissed through his teeth and pulled me back up against his chest tightly. “There, that keeps them out of sight and still.”
I couldn’t even remember what it was I had been going to say to him, so I cuddled back into his chest and lay there. I didn’t want him to leave. Ever. This was perfect. I didn’t even care that I was topless.
We sat there quietly as he continued to run his fingertips down my back, and then he moved to my arms and shoulders. I sank deeper into him and then wrapped an arm up around his neck.
His breathing changed, and I realized he had stopped rubbing me. I moved to look up at him. He snapped his eyes closed and took a deep breath.
“Go put a bra on and one of those big-ass sweatshirts of yours. Please,” he said as he continued to sit there with his eyes tightly closed.
“I took those to the Goodwill,” I explained.
He let out a frustrated growl. “Fuck.”
He liked the way I looked. He was trying to be good and not touch me again. The silly smile on my face only got bigger. If he liked touching me, I wanted to do that again too. I loved the way he had made me feel.
“Krit,” I said, reaching out and touching his face.
He flinched then leaned into my hand. “Yes, love?” He didn’t open his eyes. This was becoming amusing.
“Can we do that again? I mean, if you’re trying to be good because you don’t think I want you to do that again, then you’re wrong. I liked that very much.”
Krit let out a shaky laugh and covered his face with both of his hands and rubbed it hard while groaning. “God, sweetheart. If that was all I wanted to do, then I would take you up on it, but that’s not all I want.” His voice lowered as he let his hands fall to his lap and his eyes lock on my chest. He stared at me hungrily before lifting his eyes to look at my face. “I want you flat on your back underneath me while I fill you over and over. I want to hear you scream my name while you fly off into that happy place with me inside of you, being squeezed by your tight little pu**y as it convulses with an orgasm around me. I want you to claw at my back and beg me while I kiss every last inch of this body. But I’m not going to do that tonight. Because I don’t deserve it. I’m not sure anyone on this Earth is worthy of that. Of you. So, I need you to go get covered up and then come back in here and cuddle up with me on this sofa while we’ll watch a movie.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. What he described I wanted very much. But I wasn’t sure I was ready for it. That kind of connection and vulnerability. Then there was the girl: Britt. It had been just a few hours ago that I had heard her screaming his name. No. I wasn’t ready. As wonderful as that sounded, he had been with someone else today. I couldn’t be that girl for him. One that was okay with sharing him. I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing him with other girls now that he had touched my boobs.
