I nodded and forced a smile. “Yeah, just tired.”
He didn’t look like he believed me. “You sure?”
Krit was moving through the crowd now. His eyes were on me, and he was headed my way. I had to go. “Really, I’m fine. I just want to go back to my place.”
“Blythe.” Krit’s demanding voice stopped me from running. He sounded angry. I hadn’t meant to make him angry.
“What did you do?” Green asked him as he scowled at Krit.
“Fuck off,” he growled at Green. “I didn’t do shit. I need to talk to her, so go,” he replied, but his eyes were locked on me.
“She’s not one of—” Green started, but Krit was in his face immediately.
“I f**king know that. Not what this is about. Now, go.”
Green let out a defeated sigh and nodded before turning to walk back into the party.
“What happened in there?” he asked me.
He still didn’t get it, and I couldn’t bring myself to break the news to him that I was tainted. “I’m just tired,” I told him.
He ran a hand through his blond locks and sighed. “Okay. I get that. If it’s the real reason you’re leaving.” He pointed back at his door. “But if this is about what Matty said, then ignore his stupid ass. He thinks I’m trying to make a move on you.” He stopped and grinned at me like he had made a private joke. “He saw you and assumed the wrong thing. I’m not blind, Blythe. I know you’re not my kind. He was worried about it. I’m not a bad guy. I would never go there with you. I see you. I get it. I was just trying to be friendly. You seemed like you needed someone to help you deal with shit, and I wanted to help.”
Oh. So he did see me. He knew. I was going to be sick. My head started pounding, and the small amount of comfort I had taken from him was ripped away. I had to go. I managed a nod before I took off running. I had to get to my apartment before I threw up. The sick knot in my stomach had exploded.
KRIT
I stood at the window overlooking the gulf as I drank my second cup of coffee. It was fifteen minutes to eleven, but I hadn’t been up very long. Britt’s snuggling had woken me up. I didn’t like it when Britt passed out and stayed the night after sex. She touched me when she slept, and I hated being touched.
It had taken me getting trashed to f**k Britt after my sexy little shy-as-hell neighbor went running off like the bats of hell were chasing her. Shit, that girl was f**ked up. It was the only explanation. The girl had head issues. Sure, she was gorgeous, and damn, those eyes were hard not to get lost in. But the head issues were more than I could handle.
Britt was easy. I liked easy.
But Britt didn’t have the sweetest smile I’d ever seen. Shit. Shaking my head, I slammed my cup down and turned around to see Green standing in the living room, glaring at me.
“What?” I snarled. I hated it when he had that judgmental look on his face.
“You know what,” he replied, annoyed. “You couldn’t just leave it alone. I had it under control. She liked me. She was getting comfortable with me. But you had to f**king prove you could get her attention. She isn’t like that. She’s innocent, Krit. Motherfucking innocent. Stay away from her.”
It had been a long time since we had fought about a female.
“I know she’s innocent. I was being friendly. She was freaking the f**k out, and I was trying to help her. She’s shy.”
Green threw his hands up into the air. “What the hell did you think I was doing?”
He had been looking at that sweet ass body of hers, was what he had been doing. “I was just trying to help her,” I explained. “Not get her to let me in her pants. I was protecting her from you too. You stay the f**k away from her,” I warned him.
“Unbelievable. You are a selfish shit. That isn’t what you were doing. She liked me. I could see it in her eyes. But you came and snatched her away and sent her running off.”
“Something is off with her. I don’t know what, but she has some issues. She isn’t up for getting to know you any more than a friend. You want a helluva lot more than to be her friend. My last warning, Green. Stay the f**k away from her. She’s not like that.”
“What are y’all going on about?” Britt asked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She was wearing the sheet off my bed. I hated it when she went walking around with my damn sheets.
“Go get clothed and leave,” I ordered before heading for the bathroom to take a shower.
“I don’t know why you always treat me like shit the next morning. We had a good time last night,” she snapped at me as I walked by her.
“Throw that sheet in with the dirty clothes before you leave” was my only reply. Then I closed the bathroom door and locked it.
“You’re an ass!” Britt yelled loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Yet you keep f**king him,” Green replied. “Told you before, he’ll never treat you like he did Jess. She was different for him. No one else is gonna get that Krit.”
Jess. She had been the only woman I had ever let get close enough to me to get me. But we had grown up together. It was easy with Jess. And damn, she was smoking hot. The things she could do with her body. Fuck, I missed her. I reached into the shower and turned on the faucet.
I had put Jess behind me. She was in love and living up north with her Harvard trust-fund boyfriend. She was getting that fairytale she had always wanted, and I had to admit I was happy for her. A life like that didn’t come around for people like Jess and me. If I couldn’t have Jess, I was glad the man she wanted adored her. And that f**ker worshiped the ground she walked on. It was the only reason I had been able to handle watching her go.
I knew I’d never be what Jess needed. I had addictions, and women was one of them. Lots of women. I loved the way they smelled and how soft they were. I loved how warm and tight they felt when I sank into them. I loved everything about them. When Jess had put a halt to our relationship, I’d run off that night and had a threesome. No problem.
Apparently Jess saw that as me not loving her. I did love her, but she’d pushed me away and I’d gone and gotten me some. I realized later that that had been a bad move. But it had been real. It had been me. Jess knew that deep down I wasn’t a one-woman guy, and as much as I wanted her, I couldn’t be what she deserved.
Craving touch wasn’t a f**king sin. I had gone without it growing up and I liked affection. I liked how good a woman made me feel. My sister wanted me to get counseling because she was sure our childhood had screwed me up. But I was fine. Life was good and I didn’t need a psycho shrink telling me why I liked to f**k women.
Chapter Four
BLYTHE
The rest of the week went by without one sighting of Krit. He didn’t even have any parties. Although, the day after I had gone upstairs to quiet the last party, I had come home from the library to find an iPod and a set of earbuds by my door. A small note read, To help with your loud neighbor’s noise.—K.
I had looked for him over the next couple of days to tell him thank you. The iPod had been stocked with more than two thousand songs. It seemed I never ran out of something good to listen to. After I didn’t see or hear him for seven full days, I realized that maybe he was avoiding me.
It was what I’d expected, but it still hurt more than I wanted to admit. For a moment I thought maybe he could look past all that was wrong with me, and I could finally have a friend. That, however, wasn’t the case.
Today I started college. I had World Literature and Physics 101, and then I had a meeting with my new boss. Pastor Williams had set me up to work with a pastor at a local church. I wasn’t sure what Pastor Williams had told this pastor about me, but he seemed sure that I would fit in there just fine. The fear that this new pastor would take one look at me and throw me out had been weighing on my mind. If an eyeliner-wearing tattooed rocker could see the faults in me, then surely a minister of a church could.
But worrying about that wasn’t going to fix anything for me. It would only make matters worse. I brushed my hair one more time and stared at myself in the mirror. I had decided to wear a pair of jeans today with the nicer blouse I had purchased, the one that matched my pink heels. I wasn’t sure what the church expected me to wear to work, but since I was just meeting with the pastor today, I figured this outfit would do. I made sure I had my glasses in the backpack I had my laptop tucked safely inside of. Once I was sure I hadn’t forgotten anything, I headed for my car.
* * *
Getting through both of my classes without getting lost and making sure I took good notes had been easier than I’d anticipated. I felt good about my professors. I hadn’t spoken to anyone, but that was okay. I didn’t have to make friends. I wasn’t there for that.
The church I would be working at was a Baptist church much like the one I had grown up in. From what I could tell, it was one of the larger ones in the town. The coastal appearance was something I hadn’t been expecting, but I liked it. Something about that made the church feel less like home. I didn’t need any reminders of the life I left behind. Walking into a church was literally terrifying for me. I had made many of my worst memories in a church.
But this was the job Pastor Williams had set up for me. They were willing to work around my classes, and the pay was enough for me to get by and live comfortably. If this didn’t work out, I was going to have to find another job on my own, and I wasn’t sure what I was even qualified to do.
I pulled the backpack strap up higher on one shoulder and walked inside the front doors. The smell of coconut met my nose, which was odd. Our church never smelled like suntan lotion. It smelled like flowers. Lots of flowers. This place even smelled like the beach. I relaxed as I looked around at the casual atmosphere. The church wasn’t decorated like any one I had been to.
“Can I help you?” a masculine voice asked, snapping me out of my thoughts, and I spun around to see a guy not much older than I was. I was sure he wasn’t the pastor. No pastor I knew was this young and this handsome. His dark brown hair was cut short, and his green eyes sparkled. Wide shoulders and really nice arms were as far as I got in my study of him when he cleared his throat.
Snapping my head up, I met his gaze. His smile was now amused. Crap. I was acting like an idiot. “Uh, yes. I’m here to meet with Pastor Keenan. I have an appointment,” I explained without tripping over my words like I normally did when attractive guys spoke to me.
“You’re Blythe Denton?” he asked as his eyes went wide in surprise.
I only nodded. How did he know my name?
“Not what I was expecting. Wow. Um, yeah, okay. Uh, I’m pretty sure you aren’t what Dad was expecting either. Just, yeah, okay.” He stopped and chuckled, then shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck.
I wasn’t sure what was wrong, but this could not be Pastor Keenan. Something was bothering him though. “Dad?” I asked him, unable to keep the nervous edge from my voice.
“Dad,” he repeated, staring at me blankly. Then he blinked and turned his head, grinning as he looked down the hallway. “Yeah, my dad. Pastor Keenan is my dad, and your meeting is with him.”
Okay.“Is he here?” I asked.
He nodded and took a step toward me and held out his hand. “I’m Linc Keenan. It’s nice to meet you, Blythe.”
I slipped my hand into his for a polite handshake. “Thanks,” I replied.
When he let my hand go, he nodded toward the hallway. “This way.”
Good. That had been awkward, but I liked Linc’s smile. He seemed sincere and kind. I had never actually liked pastors’ kids before. I had met many of them when they’d come to visit the church with their parents. They’d always either treated me badly, or given me the creeps. If it hadn’t been one of their daughters making fun of me, it had been one of their sons looking at me funny. One had even gone as far as touching me and covering my mouth so that I hadn’t been able to scream. He had said he knew I was a dirty slut because he’d heard the gossip. He just hadn’t been told how hot I was, and he’d said he wanted a taste of my pu**y. I had started crying as he shoved his hand down my pants. Luckily, Pastor Williams had shown up and ordered him to leave. Then he sent me to my room for the rest of the weekend.
It was never discussed. No one ever asked me about it or checked on me. I was just told to stay in my room. I had been terrified and humiliated.
Needless to say, my experiences with pastors’ kids hadn’t been pleasant. I just really wanted this job to work out.
Linc led me to the room. “Let me go in and speak to my dad and tell him you’re here. Have a seat and make yourself comfortable. I won’t be but a minute.”
I nodded and sank down to wait on the soft tan leather sofa. The decor in the room was also bright and laid-back. A palm tree was in the corner, and bamboo plants adorned the end tables and front desk. The smell of coconut lingered in there as well. I noticed several candles that were in rustic-looking metal tins sitting around. They obviously used them often.
The door to the pastor’s office opened, and an older version of Linc stepped out of the room. His eyes locked on mine. A smile lit up his face as he smiled at me. I stood up quickly and nervously fidgeted with my backpack.
“I was at your dedication nineteen years ago, but seeing you standing there all grown-up, it’s hard to believe that’s you.”
This man had been at my baby dedication? Pastor Williams hadn’t told me that.
“You sure have turned into a lovely young woman. But then Malcolm had said you had grown into a beautiful intelligent woman. I just wasn’t prepared to see it.”
He didn’t look like he believed me. “You sure?”
Krit was moving through the crowd now. His eyes were on me, and he was headed my way. I had to go. “Really, I’m fine. I just want to go back to my place.”
“Blythe.” Krit’s demanding voice stopped me from running. He sounded angry. I hadn’t meant to make him angry.
“What did you do?” Green asked him as he scowled at Krit.
“Fuck off,” he growled at Green. “I didn’t do shit. I need to talk to her, so go,” he replied, but his eyes were locked on me.
“She’s not one of—” Green started, but Krit was in his face immediately.
“I f**king know that. Not what this is about. Now, go.”
Green let out a defeated sigh and nodded before turning to walk back into the party.
“What happened in there?” he asked me.
He still didn’t get it, and I couldn’t bring myself to break the news to him that I was tainted. “I’m just tired,” I told him.
He ran a hand through his blond locks and sighed. “Okay. I get that. If it’s the real reason you’re leaving.” He pointed back at his door. “But if this is about what Matty said, then ignore his stupid ass. He thinks I’m trying to make a move on you.” He stopped and grinned at me like he had made a private joke. “He saw you and assumed the wrong thing. I’m not blind, Blythe. I know you’re not my kind. He was worried about it. I’m not a bad guy. I would never go there with you. I see you. I get it. I was just trying to be friendly. You seemed like you needed someone to help you deal with shit, and I wanted to help.”
Oh. So he did see me. He knew. I was going to be sick. My head started pounding, and the small amount of comfort I had taken from him was ripped away. I had to go. I managed a nod before I took off running. I had to get to my apartment before I threw up. The sick knot in my stomach had exploded.
KRIT
I stood at the window overlooking the gulf as I drank my second cup of coffee. It was fifteen minutes to eleven, but I hadn’t been up very long. Britt’s snuggling had woken me up. I didn’t like it when Britt passed out and stayed the night after sex. She touched me when she slept, and I hated being touched.
It had taken me getting trashed to f**k Britt after my sexy little shy-as-hell neighbor went running off like the bats of hell were chasing her. Shit, that girl was f**ked up. It was the only explanation. The girl had head issues. Sure, she was gorgeous, and damn, those eyes were hard not to get lost in. But the head issues were more than I could handle.
Britt was easy. I liked easy.
But Britt didn’t have the sweetest smile I’d ever seen. Shit. Shaking my head, I slammed my cup down and turned around to see Green standing in the living room, glaring at me.
“What?” I snarled. I hated it when he had that judgmental look on his face.
“You know what,” he replied, annoyed. “You couldn’t just leave it alone. I had it under control. She liked me. She was getting comfortable with me. But you had to f**king prove you could get her attention. She isn’t like that. She’s innocent, Krit. Motherfucking innocent. Stay away from her.”
It had been a long time since we had fought about a female.
“I know she’s innocent. I was being friendly. She was freaking the f**k out, and I was trying to help her. She’s shy.”
Green threw his hands up into the air. “What the hell did you think I was doing?”
He had been looking at that sweet ass body of hers, was what he had been doing. “I was just trying to help her,” I explained. “Not get her to let me in her pants. I was protecting her from you too. You stay the f**k away from her,” I warned him.
“Unbelievable. You are a selfish shit. That isn’t what you were doing. She liked me. I could see it in her eyes. But you came and snatched her away and sent her running off.”
“Something is off with her. I don’t know what, but she has some issues. She isn’t up for getting to know you any more than a friend. You want a helluva lot more than to be her friend. My last warning, Green. Stay the f**k away from her. She’s not like that.”
“What are y’all going on about?” Britt asked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She was wearing the sheet off my bed. I hated it when she went walking around with my damn sheets.
“Go get clothed and leave,” I ordered before heading for the bathroom to take a shower.
“I don’t know why you always treat me like shit the next morning. We had a good time last night,” she snapped at me as I walked by her.
“Throw that sheet in with the dirty clothes before you leave” was my only reply. Then I closed the bathroom door and locked it.
“You’re an ass!” Britt yelled loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Yet you keep f**king him,” Green replied. “Told you before, he’ll never treat you like he did Jess. She was different for him. No one else is gonna get that Krit.”
Jess. She had been the only woman I had ever let get close enough to me to get me. But we had grown up together. It was easy with Jess. And damn, she was smoking hot. The things she could do with her body. Fuck, I missed her. I reached into the shower and turned on the faucet.
I had put Jess behind me. She was in love and living up north with her Harvard trust-fund boyfriend. She was getting that fairytale she had always wanted, and I had to admit I was happy for her. A life like that didn’t come around for people like Jess and me. If I couldn’t have Jess, I was glad the man she wanted adored her. And that f**ker worshiped the ground she walked on. It was the only reason I had been able to handle watching her go.
I knew I’d never be what Jess needed. I had addictions, and women was one of them. Lots of women. I loved the way they smelled and how soft they were. I loved how warm and tight they felt when I sank into them. I loved everything about them. When Jess had put a halt to our relationship, I’d run off that night and had a threesome. No problem.
Apparently Jess saw that as me not loving her. I did love her, but she’d pushed me away and I’d gone and gotten me some. I realized later that that had been a bad move. But it had been real. It had been me. Jess knew that deep down I wasn’t a one-woman guy, and as much as I wanted her, I couldn’t be what she deserved.
Craving touch wasn’t a f**king sin. I had gone without it growing up and I liked affection. I liked how good a woman made me feel. My sister wanted me to get counseling because she was sure our childhood had screwed me up. But I was fine. Life was good and I didn’t need a psycho shrink telling me why I liked to f**k women.
Chapter Four
BLYTHE
The rest of the week went by without one sighting of Krit. He didn’t even have any parties. Although, the day after I had gone upstairs to quiet the last party, I had come home from the library to find an iPod and a set of earbuds by my door. A small note read, To help with your loud neighbor’s noise.—K.
I had looked for him over the next couple of days to tell him thank you. The iPod had been stocked with more than two thousand songs. It seemed I never ran out of something good to listen to. After I didn’t see or hear him for seven full days, I realized that maybe he was avoiding me.
It was what I’d expected, but it still hurt more than I wanted to admit. For a moment I thought maybe he could look past all that was wrong with me, and I could finally have a friend. That, however, wasn’t the case.
Today I started college. I had World Literature and Physics 101, and then I had a meeting with my new boss. Pastor Williams had set me up to work with a pastor at a local church. I wasn’t sure what Pastor Williams had told this pastor about me, but he seemed sure that I would fit in there just fine. The fear that this new pastor would take one look at me and throw me out had been weighing on my mind. If an eyeliner-wearing tattooed rocker could see the faults in me, then surely a minister of a church could.
But worrying about that wasn’t going to fix anything for me. It would only make matters worse. I brushed my hair one more time and stared at myself in the mirror. I had decided to wear a pair of jeans today with the nicer blouse I had purchased, the one that matched my pink heels. I wasn’t sure what the church expected me to wear to work, but since I was just meeting with the pastor today, I figured this outfit would do. I made sure I had my glasses in the backpack I had my laptop tucked safely inside of. Once I was sure I hadn’t forgotten anything, I headed for my car.
* * *
Getting through both of my classes without getting lost and making sure I took good notes had been easier than I’d anticipated. I felt good about my professors. I hadn’t spoken to anyone, but that was okay. I didn’t have to make friends. I wasn’t there for that.
The church I would be working at was a Baptist church much like the one I had grown up in. From what I could tell, it was one of the larger ones in the town. The coastal appearance was something I hadn’t been expecting, but I liked it. Something about that made the church feel less like home. I didn’t need any reminders of the life I left behind. Walking into a church was literally terrifying for me. I had made many of my worst memories in a church.
But this was the job Pastor Williams had set up for me. They were willing to work around my classes, and the pay was enough for me to get by and live comfortably. If this didn’t work out, I was going to have to find another job on my own, and I wasn’t sure what I was even qualified to do.
I pulled the backpack strap up higher on one shoulder and walked inside the front doors. The smell of coconut met my nose, which was odd. Our church never smelled like suntan lotion. It smelled like flowers. Lots of flowers. This place even smelled like the beach. I relaxed as I looked around at the casual atmosphere. The church wasn’t decorated like any one I had been to.
“Can I help you?” a masculine voice asked, snapping me out of my thoughts, and I spun around to see a guy not much older than I was. I was sure he wasn’t the pastor. No pastor I knew was this young and this handsome. His dark brown hair was cut short, and his green eyes sparkled. Wide shoulders and really nice arms were as far as I got in my study of him when he cleared his throat.
Snapping my head up, I met his gaze. His smile was now amused. Crap. I was acting like an idiot. “Uh, yes. I’m here to meet with Pastor Keenan. I have an appointment,” I explained without tripping over my words like I normally did when attractive guys spoke to me.
“You’re Blythe Denton?” he asked as his eyes went wide in surprise.
I only nodded. How did he know my name?
“Not what I was expecting. Wow. Um, yeah, okay. Uh, I’m pretty sure you aren’t what Dad was expecting either. Just, yeah, okay.” He stopped and chuckled, then shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck.
I wasn’t sure what was wrong, but this could not be Pastor Keenan. Something was bothering him though. “Dad?” I asked him, unable to keep the nervous edge from my voice.
“Dad,” he repeated, staring at me blankly. Then he blinked and turned his head, grinning as he looked down the hallway. “Yeah, my dad. Pastor Keenan is my dad, and your meeting is with him.”
Okay.“Is he here?” I asked.
He nodded and took a step toward me and held out his hand. “I’m Linc Keenan. It’s nice to meet you, Blythe.”
I slipped my hand into his for a polite handshake. “Thanks,” I replied.
When he let my hand go, he nodded toward the hallway. “This way.”
Good. That had been awkward, but I liked Linc’s smile. He seemed sincere and kind. I had never actually liked pastors’ kids before. I had met many of them when they’d come to visit the church with their parents. They’d always either treated me badly, or given me the creeps. If it hadn’t been one of their daughters making fun of me, it had been one of their sons looking at me funny. One had even gone as far as touching me and covering my mouth so that I hadn’t been able to scream. He had said he knew I was a dirty slut because he’d heard the gossip. He just hadn’t been told how hot I was, and he’d said he wanted a taste of my pu**y. I had started crying as he shoved his hand down my pants. Luckily, Pastor Williams had shown up and ordered him to leave. Then he sent me to my room for the rest of the weekend.
It was never discussed. No one ever asked me about it or checked on me. I was just told to stay in my room. I had been terrified and humiliated.
Needless to say, my experiences with pastors’ kids hadn’t been pleasant. I just really wanted this job to work out.
Linc led me to the room. “Let me go in and speak to my dad and tell him you’re here. Have a seat and make yourself comfortable. I won’t be but a minute.”
I nodded and sank down to wait on the soft tan leather sofa. The decor in the room was also bright and laid-back. A palm tree was in the corner, and bamboo plants adorned the end tables and front desk. The smell of coconut lingered in there as well. I noticed several candles that were in rustic-looking metal tins sitting around. They obviously used them often.
The door to the pastor’s office opened, and an older version of Linc stepped out of the room. His eyes locked on mine. A smile lit up his face as he smiled at me. I stood up quickly and nervously fidgeted with my backpack.
“I was at your dedication nineteen years ago, but seeing you standing there all grown-up, it’s hard to believe that’s you.”
This man had been at my baby dedication? Pastor Williams hadn’t told me that.
“You sure have turned into a lovely young woman. But then Malcolm had said you had grown into a beautiful intelligent woman. I just wasn’t prepared to see it.”
