"Get the f**k out of my house," I snapped. "Right now."
"Who the hell is that?" the redhead at the bottom of the pile asked. "Your wife?"
There was a brief flash of embarrassment and guilt on Cary's face, and then he shot me a cocky smile. "My roommate. There's room for more, baby girl."
"Cary Taylor. Don't push me," I warned. "It's really, really not a good night."
The dark-haired male on top disengaged from Cary and stood, sauntering toward me. As he got closer, I saw his hazel eyes were unnaturally dilated and the pulse in his neck was throbbing viciously. "I can make it better," he offered with a leer.
"Back the f**k up." I adjusted my stance, preparing to ward him off physically if necessary.
"Leave her alone, Ian," Cary snapped, pushing to his feet.
"Come on, baby girl," Ian coaxed, making me sick by using Cary's pet name for me. "You need a good time. Let me show you one."
One minute he was inches in front of me, the next he was sailing into the couch with a scream. Gideon moved into place between me and the others, vibrating with fury. "Take it to your room, Cary," he bit out. "Or take it somewhere else."
Ian was squealing on my sofa, his nose spraying blood despite the two hands he tried to staunch it with.
Cary snatched his jeans off the floor. "You're not my f**king mother, Eva."
I sidestepped around Gideon. "Wasn't screwing up with Trey enough of a f**king lesson for you, you idiot?"
"This isn't about Trey!"
"Who's Trey?" The bottle blonde asked as she got to her feet. When she caught a good look at Gideon, she visibly preened, showing off an admittedly pretty body.
Her efforts earned her a glance so disdainfully dismissive and unimpressed that she finally had the grace to blush and cover herself with a slinky gold lame dress she picked up off the floor. And because I was in a mood, I said, "Don't take it personally. He prefers brunettes."
The look Gideon shot me was lethal. I'd never seen him look so livid. He was literally vibrating with suppressed violence.
Frightened by that glare, I took an involuntary step back. He cursed viciously and shoved both of his hands through his hair.
Suddenly bone weary and desperately disappointed with the men in my life, I turned away. "Get this mess out of my house, Cary."
I headed down the hallway, kicking off my other heel en route. I was out of my dress before I reached my bathroom and in the shower less than a minute beyond that. I stayed out of the range of the spray until the water warmed, and then I stood directly beneath it. Too tired to stand for long, I sank to the floor and just sat beneath the stream with my eyes closed and my arms wrapped around my knees.
"Eva."
I cringed when I heard Gideon's voice, and tucked into an even tighter ball.
"Goddamn it," he snapped. "You piss me off worse than anyone else I know."
I looked at him through the veil of my wet hair. He was pacing the length of my bathroom, his jacket shed somewhere and his shirt untucked. "Go home, Gideon."
He halted and shot me an incredulous look. "I'm not f**king leaving you here. Cary's lost his damned mind! That amped-up ass**le was seconds away from putting his hands on you when I got here."
"Cary wouldn't have let that happen. But either way, I can't deal with him and you at the same time." I didn't want to deal with either of them, actually. I just wanted to be alone.
"Then you'll just deal with me."
I scooped my hair back from my face with an impatient swipe of my hand. "Oh? I'm supposed to make you the priority?"
He recoiled as if I'd hit him. "I was under the impression we were both each other's priorities."
"Yeah, I thought that, too. Until tonight."
"Jesus. Will you drop it with Corinne already?" He spread his arms wide. "I'm here with you, aren't I? I barely said good-bye to her because I was chasing after you. Again."
"Fuck you. Don't do me any favors."
Gideon lunged into the shower fully dressed. He yanked me to my feet and kissed me. Hard. His mouth devoured mine, his hands gripping my upper arms to hold me in place.
But I didn't soften this time. I didn't give in. Even when he tried coaxing me with lush, suggestive licks.
"Why?" he muttered, his lips sliding down to my throat. "Why are you driving me insane?"
"I don't know what your problem is with Dr. Lucas, and I honestly don't give a shit. But he was right. Corinne got way too much of your attention tonight. You pretty much ignored me during dinner."
"It's impossible for me to ignore you, Eva." His face was hard and tight. "If you're in the same room with me, I don't see anyone else."
"Funny. Every time I looked at you, you were looking at her."
"This is stupid." He released me and shoved the wet hair out of his face. "You know how I feel about you."
"Do I? You want me. You need me. But do you love Corinne?"
"Oh, for f**k's sake. No." He shut the water off, caging me to the glass with both arms. "You want me to tell you I love you, Eva? Is that what this is about?"
My stomach cramped as if he'd struck me with the full force of his fist. I'd never felt that kind of pain before, hadn't known it existed. My eyes burned and I ducked under his arm before I embarrassed myself by crying. "Go home, Gideon. Please."
"I am home." He caught me from behind and buried his face in my soaked hair. "I'm with you."
I struggled to get free, but I was too wiped out. Physically. Emotionally. The tears came in a torrent and I couldn't stop them. And I hated crying in front of anyone. "Go away. Please."
"I love you, Eva. Of course I do."
"Oh my God." I kicked at him, flailing. Anything to get away from the person who'd become a massive source of pain and misery. "I don't want your f**king pity. I just want you to go away."
"I can't. You know I can't. Eva, stop fighting. Listen to me."
"Everything you're saying hurts, Gideon."
"It's not the right word, Eva," he pressed on stubbornly, his lips at my ear. "That's why I haven't said it. It's not the right word for you and what I feel for you."
"Shut up. If you care about me at all, you'll just shut up and go away."
"I've been loved before - by Corinne, by other women...But what the hell do they know about me? What the hell are they in love with when they don't know how f**ked up I am? If that's love, it's nothing compared to what I feel for you."
I stilled, trembling, my gaze on the mirror's reflection of my mascara-smeared face and bedraggled wet hair next to Gideon's ravaged beauty. His features were overcome by volatile emotion as he wrapped himself tightly around me. We looked all wrong for each other.
And yet I understood the alienation of being around others who couldn't really see you or chose not to. I'd felt the self-loathing that came with being a fraud, portraying an image of what you wished you could be but weren't. I'd lived with the fear that the people you loved might turn away from you if they ever got to know the true person hidden inside.
"Who the hell is that?" the redhead at the bottom of the pile asked. "Your wife?"
There was a brief flash of embarrassment and guilt on Cary's face, and then he shot me a cocky smile. "My roommate. There's room for more, baby girl."
"Cary Taylor. Don't push me," I warned. "It's really, really not a good night."
The dark-haired male on top disengaged from Cary and stood, sauntering toward me. As he got closer, I saw his hazel eyes were unnaturally dilated and the pulse in his neck was throbbing viciously. "I can make it better," he offered with a leer.
"Back the f**k up." I adjusted my stance, preparing to ward him off physically if necessary.
"Leave her alone, Ian," Cary snapped, pushing to his feet.
"Come on, baby girl," Ian coaxed, making me sick by using Cary's pet name for me. "You need a good time. Let me show you one."
One minute he was inches in front of me, the next he was sailing into the couch with a scream. Gideon moved into place between me and the others, vibrating with fury. "Take it to your room, Cary," he bit out. "Or take it somewhere else."
Ian was squealing on my sofa, his nose spraying blood despite the two hands he tried to staunch it with.
Cary snatched his jeans off the floor. "You're not my f**king mother, Eva."
I sidestepped around Gideon. "Wasn't screwing up with Trey enough of a f**king lesson for you, you idiot?"
"This isn't about Trey!"
"Who's Trey?" The bottle blonde asked as she got to her feet. When she caught a good look at Gideon, she visibly preened, showing off an admittedly pretty body.
Her efforts earned her a glance so disdainfully dismissive and unimpressed that she finally had the grace to blush and cover herself with a slinky gold lame dress she picked up off the floor. And because I was in a mood, I said, "Don't take it personally. He prefers brunettes."
The look Gideon shot me was lethal. I'd never seen him look so livid. He was literally vibrating with suppressed violence.
Frightened by that glare, I took an involuntary step back. He cursed viciously and shoved both of his hands through his hair.
Suddenly bone weary and desperately disappointed with the men in my life, I turned away. "Get this mess out of my house, Cary."
I headed down the hallway, kicking off my other heel en route. I was out of my dress before I reached my bathroom and in the shower less than a minute beyond that. I stayed out of the range of the spray until the water warmed, and then I stood directly beneath it. Too tired to stand for long, I sank to the floor and just sat beneath the stream with my eyes closed and my arms wrapped around my knees.
"Eva."
I cringed when I heard Gideon's voice, and tucked into an even tighter ball.
"Goddamn it," he snapped. "You piss me off worse than anyone else I know."
I looked at him through the veil of my wet hair. He was pacing the length of my bathroom, his jacket shed somewhere and his shirt untucked. "Go home, Gideon."
He halted and shot me an incredulous look. "I'm not f**king leaving you here. Cary's lost his damned mind! That amped-up ass**le was seconds away from putting his hands on you when I got here."
"Cary wouldn't have let that happen. But either way, I can't deal with him and you at the same time." I didn't want to deal with either of them, actually. I just wanted to be alone.
"Then you'll just deal with me."
I scooped my hair back from my face with an impatient swipe of my hand. "Oh? I'm supposed to make you the priority?"
He recoiled as if I'd hit him. "I was under the impression we were both each other's priorities."
"Yeah, I thought that, too. Until tonight."
"Jesus. Will you drop it with Corinne already?" He spread his arms wide. "I'm here with you, aren't I? I barely said good-bye to her because I was chasing after you. Again."
"Fuck you. Don't do me any favors."
Gideon lunged into the shower fully dressed. He yanked me to my feet and kissed me. Hard. His mouth devoured mine, his hands gripping my upper arms to hold me in place.
But I didn't soften this time. I didn't give in. Even when he tried coaxing me with lush, suggestive licks.
"Why?" he muttered, his lips sliding down to my throat. "Why are you driving me insane?"
"I don't know what your problem is with Dr. Lucas, and I honestly don't give a shit. But he was right. Corinne got way too much of your attention tonight. You pretty much ignored me during dinner."
"It's impossible for me to ignore you, Eva." His face was hard and tight. "If you're in the same room with me, I don't see anyone else."
"Funny. Every time I looked at you, you were looking at her."
"This is stupid." He released me and shoved the wet hair out of his face. "You know how I feel about you."
"Do I? You want me. You need me. But do you love Corinne?"
"Oh, for f**k's sake. No." He shut the water off, caging me to the glass with both arms. "You want me to tell you I love you, Eva? Is that what this is about?"
My stomach cramped as if he'd struck me with the full force of his fist. I'd never felt that kind of pain before, hadn't known it existed. My eyes burned and I ducked under his arm before I embarrassed myself by crying. "Go home, Gideon. Please."
"I am home." He caught me from behind and buried his face in my soaked hair. "I'm with you."
I struggled to get free, but I was too wiped out. Physically. Emotionally. The tears came in a torrent and I couldn't stop them. And I hated crying in front of anyone. "Go away. Please."
"I love you, Eva. Of course I do."
"Oh my God." I kicked at him, flailing. Anything to get away from the person who'd become a massive source of pain and misery. "I don't want your f**king pity. I just want you to go away."
"I can't. You know I can't. Eva, stop fighting. Listen to me."
"Everything you're saying hurts, Gideon."
"It's not the right word, Eva," he pressed on stubbornly, his lips at my ear. "That's why I haven't said it. It's not the right word for you and what I feel for you."
"Shut up. If you care about me at all, you'll just shut up and go away."
"I've been loved before - by Corinne, by other women...But what the hell do they know about me? What the hell are they in love with when they don't know how f**ked up I am? If that's love, it's nothing compared to what I feel for you."
I stilled, trembling, my gaze on the mirror's reflection of my mascara-smeared face and bedraggled wet hair next to Gideon's ravaged beauty. His features were overcome by volatile emotion as he wrapped himself tightly around me. We looked all wrong for each other.
And yet I understood the alienation of being around others who couldn't really see you or chose not to. I'd felt the self-loathing that came with being a fraud, portraying an image of what you wished you could be but weren't. I'd lived with the fear that the people you loved might turn away from you if they ever got to know the true person hidden inside.
