Becoming Calder
Page 19

I pressed toward her hand and felt her body bump something behind her. Hector's podium. Thank the gods it was attached to the floor and wouldn't tip right over.
Eden continued to rub me through my pants, leaning back slightly against the podium. I went down on my knees in front of her, and looked up at her beautiful face, worshipping her. Worshipping at the altar of Eden. She smiled gently at me, and ran a hand through my short hair.
Suddenly, I needed to taste her, more than I needed to draw in another breath. I bunched her skirt up and put my face against her soft mound. Eden sucked in a breath and moaned softly, igniting me. Her other hand came up to my hair as well and she ran her fingers through it.
I brought her underwear down her h*ps and heard her breath pick up. "Calder," she moaned, but didn't say more.
I brought my face to the soft patch of blonde curls and inhaled. Heat pulsated through my body, accompanied by half-formed thoughts and visions: instincts that told me to thrust into her, plant my seed inside her, protect her, lay a bounty of food at her feet. Gods above. Her scent had turned me into a caveman.
But when I opened my eyes and looked up into hers—filled with tenderness—it was my heart that swelled and clenched. She had every part of me. I was hers.
I turned my face back to her and licked down the crease of her sex with my tongue. "Oh!" she gasped, pressing herself into me. I couldn't help the moan that came up my throat either. My tongue found that little piece of flesh that made Eden moan and pant, and I circled it with my tongue. She tasted so good—sweet and musky—like a more intense version of her skin. I loved it. I loved her. Her hands gripped my hair and I smiled against her. I laved my tongue around and around that small spot until Eden was crying out and grinding herself into my face. I felt animalistic, needy, like I wanted to devour her, mark her, and claim her as my own.
Eden froze. I moaned as she tensed and shuddered and panted out her cl**ax right against my mouth. It was the most intense thing I'd ever experienced in my whole life. I wouldn't be able to get up now if I tried though. I was hard as stone. Pulsing with my need for release.
After several still seconds of me breathing against her, I pulled her underwear back up and let her skirt down. My eyes widened at what I saw. "Oh no. Eden, I . . . I'm so sorry. I didn't even consider that I . . ."
She tilted her head, still a little dazed, a confused look on her face.
I brought my hands up, my palms still smeared with dirt from the fields. I had forgotten and apparently she hadn't noticed my hands in the dim room.
Her eyes widened and she looked down at herself, her white skirt covered with dirty marks where my hands had been. It looked like a dirty dog had pawed her. I felt ashamed by my dirtiness compared to her purity all of a sudden. Was she thinking the same thing?
She stared at the dirt for a minute and then burst out laughing, clutching her stomach and leaning back against Hector's podium. I started laughing, too, and it took several minutes before we finally got a hold of ourselves.
"Seriously," I laughed, "this isn't funny. How are you going to get out of here?"
Eden wiped at her eyes. She looked around, her eyes finally landing on the ashes next to the twelve candles.
She turned back to me. "You need to go. They won't let me come here again after what I'm about to do, but it was worth it." She laughed softly. "I'll look for you at the festival."
I nodded. "Okay." I was worried though and didn't want to leave her. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"
"Yes, I promise." She leaned forward and kissed me once more on my lips and pulled away, smiling.
I let my eyes roam over her beautiful face and down to her skirt where there was an extra amount of dirt smears right between her legs. I felt heat move up my own face and I laughed softly. "’Bye, Morning Glory."
"’Bye, Butterscotch."
I turned and snuck back out the back of the Temple, standing against the wall for a minute, until I was sure I didn't hear anyone walking nearby.
When I moved to the side of the building, I heard Eden let out a shriek and then a minute later, the front doors of the Temple banging open. Mother Miriam's voice came quickly, "What did you do?" she shouted.
"I'm sorry!" I heard Eden cry. "The ashes! It wasn't my fault. They tipped over and . . ."
"All over you?" Mother Miriam asked harshly. "You always were a clumsy thing. Come on. You need a bath. You're lucky I don't bring this to Hector."
I smiled despite myself and leaned back on the wall of the Temple. I should have been feeling shame I supposed, but I just didn't. "Morning Glory," I murmured, smiling. I started my walk to the river where I took my time washing off every bit of the dirt on my body, sad at removing her essence from my tongue, smiling to myself when I pictured Eden, my dirty handprints all over her.
**********
In Acadia, the workers hosted a festival every April. It was a celebration of winter ending and that the spring crops were bursting with life again. No one worked that day, and everyone chipped in to cook for the different booths and to set up the games. Generally, we just celebrated the blessings the gods had bestowed upon us and the peace and success of our community.
I'd always enjoyed it in the past. It was a chance for a day of leisure and for my friends and I to compete at the different booths.
But the morning of the festival I rolled out of bed at dawn, feeling antsy with pent-up frustration even though sleep was still clinging to me. I walked to the door of our cabin and stepped outside, my head turning automatically toward the main lodge. Eden's window was dark. She was still sleeping. I pictured her lying in her bed, her eyes closed, and that golden hair spilling over her pillow as her br**sts rose and fell. I scrubbed a hand down my face and closed the door, none too quietly, and began my walk to the river.
"Wait up, Calder," I heard Maya call behind me.
I stopped and turned around, bending to pick her up when I reached her.
"No, don't carry me. I wanna walk," she said in her slightly slurred speech, coughing a small cough.
"Maya . . ."
"It's morning. You don't need to be in a hurry yet," she teased, smiling.
I smiled back. "No, I guess I don't. Come on." And I took her hand in mine.
After we'd visited the outhouse, we made our way to the river. I took my shirt off and waded in slowly, getting used to the cold water. Maya stayed closer to the shore as she splashed water over her face and hair, coughing more in the cool air.
I swore under my breath. Her cough had gotten better for a while, but now it was back. And it didn't sound good.
As I watched her, I suddenly felt filled with anger that my sister had to splash cold water on her head in the chilly morning, as the people at the main lodge woke up to a warm shower and indoor plumbing.
I had been taught my entire life that our sacrifice was pleasing to the gods, and it made us holier to live with the amenities they alone provided. But suddenly, standing there, it enraged me that Maya should have to sacrifice and the council members' kids didn't.
I reined in my emotion and dove into the water, coming up a short distance away and shaking the water out of my hair. I heard Maya laugh behind me. "You're like a fish," she called.
I laughed and dove back under the water, coming up just the same. Maya laughed again and clapped her hands. She mimicked casting a fishing reel and I pretended to be caught, floundering in the water and attempting to make an escape. Maya laughed louder and began to "reel" me in. I pretended to fight and strain as Maya reeled me toward shore, where I finally flipped and flopped on the ground, creating a dramatic fish death. Maya kept giggling and finally, I opened one eye and grinned back.
I stood up and splashed some water in the places I'd gotten sand on me and then Maya handed me a piece of fabric, and I used it to blot the water off my chest and run it over my hair.
"Do you like it here, Maya?" I asked.
She looked up at me. "Yes. It's my home," she said. "I like it anywhere you and Mom and Dad are."
I nodded, watching the water pool in the rocks at my feet. "You know if I ever left here, that I'd come back for you, right?"
Maya squinted at me. "Why would you ever leave here? If you did, you couldn't come to Elysium with us. You'd be lost in the great flood with the rest of the sinners. Please don't ever leave here, Calder."
I flinched. "Okay, Maya. Anyway, today's not the day to talk about this. Today," I scooped her up and she shrieked and then laughed, "is the spring festival and I'm going to win you whatever you want."
"I want a flower wreath for my hair."
"Then that's what you'll have." I laughed and carried her back to our cabin.
My mom and dad were awake, so we all started the day. Mom made breakfast as Dad loaded the small wagon outside our door with the baked goods my mom had been preparing all week.
For the festival, those baking were given a bag of sugar to use as an ingredient and Xander and I usually went from booth to booth, shoveling in treats, making ourselves sick by the end of the day. For some reason, the thought of sugar didn't fill me with my usual enthusiasm.
I stood in the doorway again, needing the air as all four of us clambered around the small space. It had always seemed crowded in our cabin, but now it felt tiny, claustrophobic, and I could hardly breathe. If I wasn't sleeping or working, these days I spent most of my time on the small porch.
"Make yourself useful, and help your dad," my mom bossed.
I took a deep breath and went and grabbed a couple wrapped plates of desserts off the table.
By noon, the setup was done and I walked through the rows of booths slowly, checking out the various items: cakes, cookies, cupcakes, hair wreathes, bouquets of wildflowers, soaps that smelled like different herbs, scented candles made from beeswax, jars of clover honey. Although the workers had made or collected the items, everything that was out was a gift from Hector, and we were encouraged to take what we needed. Everyone seemed happy, full of excitement today, but the whole festival suddenly seemed to me like a small morsel Hector threw to us workers to keep us happy, when he lived like this every day of the year, taking his fill of whatever treats and luxuries he ever desired.
I'd take Eden away from here, yes, because there was no other option, but would I miss any of it? It was all I'd ever known. And it would break my mom and dad's hearts. And Maya . . . I'd come back for her. I'd have to. Once I got Eden and me settled, I'd come back for her.
I massaged the back of my neck. It seemed like so much uncertainty. And Xander was right—I was wholly unprepared for the world outside. I didn't fear it so much as Hector had taught us to. I wasn't even sure exactly why . . . maybe it was the people Xander had met at the ranger station . . . maybe those happy looking movie stars in the magazines we had swiped and hid under the floorboards of Xander's cabin. None of them looked evil or cruel. I hoped I was right to be optimistic about the way other people lived and acted outside Acadia, because I knew one thing for sure. There'd be no coming back here once we left.
I was interrupted in my thoughts by the sound of voices rising and some calling out and I looked behind me to see the small, horse-drawn wagon, draped in bright fabrics, that Hector used to ride through the festival as people waved and clapped for him. Eden was sitting beside him, solemn in the white lace dress she always wore to Temple and special events. Hector leaned over and whispered something in her ear and a look of discomfort passed over her features before she smiled demurely and nodded at him. Anger and jealousy spiked through me as I leaned against a tree at the edge of the clearing where all the booths were set up. He had no right to her. If I could, I would have scooped her off that stupid, pompous wagon right then and there and walked off with her. But to where? And with what? So that she would be hungry by dinnertime and I'd have nothing to feed her? She couldn't know all my doubts. She was counting on me and I wouldn't fail her. But inside, I was nervous, confused, filled with questions I had no way to answer. I felt angry and frustrated.
I walked back around the small grove of trees and weaved through the booths until I was next to the wagon, about a hundred feet to the side of it. I walked along at the same pace, ducking behind booths here and there. Finally, Eden turned her head and caught sight of me. I grinned at her and her eyes widened as she coughed into her hand, hiding her own smile.
I ducked behind another booth and when I stepped out, Eden was looking around for me and spotting me, started to "cough" into her hand again. I walked along with her like that for a few minutes, loving that I was making her smile.
When the wagon made it to the first of the game booths, Hector stepped down and then offered his hand to Eden who took it and stepped down as well. I moved closer, blending in with the rest of the people now crowding around the booth.
The game booth was a series of three platforms, one close, one farther, and the third one all the way at the back wall. There were three, heavy beanbags on each platform and the object was to throw a larger beanbag with enough force and just the right placement to knock all three off.
Hector leaned in to Eden again, pointing up at the variety of flower head wreaths. I moved closer and Eden caught my movement and looked over at me and then immediately down, obviously forgetting Hector had just asked her a question.
Hector looked at Eden and then up at me, and his eyes took me in coldly. "Which one would you like, love?" Hector asked loudly. Eden startled and looked up at the booth, hesitating and then pointing to a wreath of pink and yellow wildflowers, long pink ribbons hanging from the back of it.