Becoming Calder
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"Then that's the one that will be yours," he said.
He took the beanbag from the little girl working there and threw it at the first platform, easily knocking all three smaller bags off. The crowd cheered like he had just knocked a ten-ton boulder over with his bare hands. He turned toward Eden and took her hand and kissed it, brushing his lips across her knuckle. My gut clenched and I felt a clawing need to rip her away from him.
He turned back around and Eden looked toward me, biting her lip and then giving me a very small smile.
He threw the beanbag at the second platform and cleared those, too, the crowd going wild.
Suddenly, Xander was beside me. He leaned in. "Relax. It's all a show. She wants to be next to you as much as you want to be next to her."
I breathed out and relaxed my hands, which had balled into fists.
Hector took the beanbag in his hand again and hesitated as he aimed for the farthest platform. He made his throw and two of the three smaller beanbags slid easily off, but the third remained. Hector smiled, letting out an exaggerated breath, and raising both hands in an "oh well" gesture.
"I'll win one for the princess," I blurted out, loudly.
I felt all eyes turn toward me, but my focus remained on Hector.
"You idiot," I heard Xander mutter, but my pride ruled the day and I stepped forward.
"Here, Calder," the little girl at the booth said, grinning at me and showing a big gap where both her front teeth were missing. I took the beanbag from her and watched as she set up the three platforms again.
"All set," she said. I threw the first one and cleared the platform easily. The crowd clapped, although not as exuberantly as they had for Hector. I threw the second one and cleared that one easily as well, and the crowd cheered a little bit louder.
I moved over to the third one and glanced back at Eden. Hector had moved behind her and had both hands on her shoulders and was squeezing her lightly. My blood heated and my jaw ticked. Eden widened her eyes and opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but didn't.
I turned back around and aimed at the third platform, all the anger in my body seeming to collect in my hand as I threw that beanbag as hard as I could. Silence surrounded me as the bag made contact with the three smaller bags and they all flew off in different directions, the larger beanbag plowing through them and hitting the back wall. There was a second of silence before a loud groan came from the wood of the booth wall and it wobbled as my eyes widened, right before it crashed backward, landing on the ground with a loud thud.
I stood frozen for several seconds, and then the little girl in front of me whose mouth was hanging open, moved slowly to the wreath Eden had requested and silently took it down and held it out to me.
I took it from her and turned around. Eden was standing there with her hand over her mouth and her eyes shining with laughter and delight. And Hector stood behind her, his face a red mask of anger.
I handed the wreath to Eden slowly, and she took it from my hand, her skin brushing mine as her eyes widened and she blinked up at me. I tore my eyes away from her and looked up at Hector. "Father," I said, bowing my head and turning away. I moved past the booth, where two men were already putting the back wall up, and through the crowd. Xander jogged to my side and walked with me silently until we got to my cabin where I put my hands on my lower h*ps and paced in front of it.
"You impulsive fool," Xander said, glaring at me. "Calling attention to yourself and Eden when we're planning to leave? Are you stupid? Now you probably just made it that much harder. Did you see the look on his face? You threatened him."
"He had his hands on her," I gritted out.
Xander moved closer, his face right in front of mine. "Yeah, he did. He plans to marry her. He plans to have his hands all over her . . . forever. And you have to stop acting like a prideful idiot and ruining any chance we might have to get out of here with any ease."
I let out my breath and scrubbed my hand down my face. "You're right. I know you're right. I'm a fool." I sat down on my front step, bowed my head, and laced my fingers behind my neck. A couple seconds later I felt Xander sit down next to me.
We were both quiet for a few minutes before Xander spoke again. "I talked to Kristi. She says we need money, enough to last us three months or so, just long enough to get a job. She estimated three thousand."
I raised my head and looked at him incredulously. "Three thousand dollars?" I laughed. "Where are we supposed to get three thousand dollars?"
Xander shrugged. "I suppose that might be where Eden comes in. Surely the council members keep some money on them. She could start taking just a little, so they don't notice when she does it."
"Stealing again."
Xander let out an annoyed breath. "Do you have a better idea?"
I shook my head and squinted up at the sky. "No."
Xander was quiet for a minute. "Does Eden know how to count money?"
"I barely know how to count money. I mean, I know in theory, but obviously not in practice."
Xander nodded. "I don't know if we can risk bringing anyone else in Acadia into this."
"No, we can't." I thought for a minute. "What about the Castle family? Think there'd be any way of contacting them?"
"Ah geez, I don't know," Xander said, running his hand through his hair.
Bob, Tina, and Melissa Castle were a family that had come to live with us several years ago and then one day, in the middle of the night, they'd taken their things and left, right after Bob Castle had been punished by Hector for insolence. I never knew what the "insolence" was exactly, but Hector talked about those who weren't righteous would never feel comfortable in Acadia, and would be lured back out into the sinful society, as had happened with the Castle family. But I wondered if the Castle family would have another story to tell. Who knew if we could even trust them? My brain was all scrambled most of the time these days. The only people I knew for sure I could trust with my very life were Eden and Xander.
"They might not help anyway," I said. "I never knew them very well."
Xander sighed. "Let's see what Eden says about the money situation up at the main lodge. One step at a time, okay?"
"Yeah. Okay."
"And no more stupid testosterone-fueled stunts with Hector. In fact, you might be wise to apologize to him."
I grimaced. "I'm not sorry."
"Fine. But at least pretend you are."
I tensed my jaw and pictured him bringing Eden's knuckle up to his lips again. But Xander was right. If I wanted to get her away from him, I needed to play this smarter.
As it turned out, I didn't have to go to Hector on my own to offer an apology. The next morning, he summoned me to the main lodge.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Eden
The morning after the festival, Hailey woke me early and told me Hector wanted to see me after breakfast. I sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, feeling a nervous flutter in my belly. "Did he say why?" I asked sleepily.
Hailey shook her head, opened my closet, and pulled out my clothes. She laid my skirt at the end of my bed and then sat down. I propped my pillows behind me so I was sitting up, too.
Hailey studied me for a few seconds and then looked down at her hands. "Your wedding is drawing near, Eden." She paused and I furrowed my brow. "Hector would like me to educate you on the details of your wifely duties. He instructed me to do it as soon as possible."
I froze, her meaning immediately clear and a feeling of dread raced down my spine. I took a deep breath. I would never be Hector's bride. Calder was going to take me away from here before that could happen.
But I could use the lesson, couldn't I? I wanted to know all the ways to please a man. I wanted to know all the ways to please Calder, without him having to show me himself.
"Please do," I said softly.
Hailey glanced at me and her cheeks turned pink. Before she looked away, I thought I saw distress flash in her eyes.
"A woman doesn't enjoy these things, Eden, but a mistress or a wife performs them anyway. Do you understand?"
I shook my head. "No," I whispered. "Doesn't Hector bring you pleasure?" I felt my own face fill with heat and knew my cheeks were flushed, too.
Hailey looked back at me and pursed her lips. She took one of my hands in hers and said, "It is not always unpleasant, and you shouldn't fear it. But only a loose, impure woman takes pleasure for herself. You should focus on your husband only."
I furrowed my brow. Was I loose and impure? I must be, for I had surely enjoyed pleasures of the flesh with Calder. In fact, enjoy might be an understatement.
Hailey took a deep breath. "Things happen to a man when he is aroused. You'll know he wants you in bed when he . . . hardens."
I glanced down. I already knew that. And the thought of it alone, of Calder . . . hardened, sent a bolt of electricity between my legs. I swallowed.
"He will then want you to touch him, with your hand, and with your mouth." The last word came out as a squeak and my eyes widened. "My mouth?" I whispered, incredulous. Calder had used his mouth on me, but I was expected to use my mouth on him, too? "What do I do with it?" I asked.
Hailey let out a small, hysterical sounding laugh, her blush deepening. "Well, uh, you put it in your mouth and you . . . uh," she let out another small laugh, "suck on it."
"Oh," I whispered. I liked it when Calder used his mouth on me, so, would he like it if I used my mouth on him? I started to feel tingly just imagining it. I wanted to squirm with the feeling, but I held myself still.
"I know it sounds absolutely terrible and awful, but you'll get used to it."
"Oh, um, yes, awful," I whispered again.
Hailey cleared her throat. "So, uh, then he'll put his hardened manhood between your legs and enter your body. The first time will hurt and you'll bleed, but after that, it will be okay. Do you understand?" Hailey looked like she wanted to flee.
I kept imagining Calder na**d with me—his tight muscles and masculine beauty clear in my mind's eye. I swallowed again, flushed all over, and became wet between my legs. Yes, I understood. And I wanted it. I wanted it right that very second. I wanted Calder, in my bed, putting his manhood between my legs. Surely I was loose and impure. And I didn't care. I nodded my head.
Hailey stood up and took a deep, shaky breath. "We'll discuss this more before your wedding night, of course. And if you have questions . . . well . . ."
"Thank you, Hailey," I said. "You've been very helpful."
I had asked Calder to make love to me, not knowing exactly what that was. But now I ached for it. I felt dizzy with wanting.
I stood under the warm spray of the shower, thinking about what Hailey had told me. When Calder made love to me, he would enter my body. Goose bumps erupted on my flesh at the thought alone. I washed myself slowly, cleaning between my legs, and as I did so, I slipped the very tip of my finger inside my opening as Calder had done. Heat bloomed all over me, my ni**les puckered. My finger felt snug and squeezed. How would Calder's manhood . . . fit? I heard voices and footsteps outside the door to the bathroom, so I finished my shower quickly and then got dressed. I ate breakfast and walked to Hector's office as he had requested, and nodded demurely at him when he opened the door and ushered me in. My mind was too focused on Calder's manhood to be nervous about the reason Hector might want to see me, and so when I walked inside and saw Calder standing in front of the fireplace, I didn't catch my expression soon enough. Calder's eyes widened in warning and I startled, realizing that a goofy grin was plastered all over my face. I went serious, but not before Hector turned from the door and caught me staring joyfully at Calder. I bent my head and chewed on my lip. When I glanced up, a storm passed over Hector's face and then he, too, schooled his expression as he walked over to his desk and stood behind it.
"Please," he motioned to Calder, "sit down. Eden, you may remain standing." Hector's voice was cold and a chill moved up my spine. I clasped my hands in front of me and stood still, waiting to see what was going to happen.
Calder moved cautiously toward the chair in front of Hector's desk and sat down.
Hector shook his head. "No, I meant sit down on the floor, not the chair."
Calder looked confused and glanced uncertainly at the chair in front of him. "I'm sorry, Father, I don't—"
"Kneel on the floor, Water Bearer. You'll understand when I explain it to you," Hector commanded, his expression angry.
Calder narrowed his eyes. His hands flexed and un-flexed. But he glanced at me quickly and then paused before pushing the chair aside and kneeling down on the floor in front of Hector's desk. My belly clenched in fear, but I raised my chin and looked unflinchingly at Calder. Hector was meaning to humiliate him in front of me and I wouldn't be embarrassed. I understood this was about the festival. This was about Calder showing Hector up in front of his people.
Hector focused on the objects on his desk, seeming to suddenly notice something distressing about them. He rearranged them and then frowned, putting them back the way they'd been. Then he frowned again, straightened them all, using his arm to line them up perfectly.
Calder and I glanced between each other and then back to Hector. Hector suddenly furrowed his brows and took one of the objects, a glass statue of a woman, and threw it at the fireplace so it shattered loudly. I gasped and Calder's eyes shot to me, alarmed.
Hector sat back, his lips tipped up in a small smile. He took a deep breath and looked at Calder, continuing as if nothing strange had just happened.
He took the beanbag from the little girl working there and threw it at the first platform, easily knocking all three smaller bags off. The crowd cheered like he had just knocked a ten-ton boulder over with his bare hands. He turned toward Eden and took her hand and kissed it, brushing his lips across her knuckle. My gut clenched and I felt a clawing need to rip her away from him.
He turned back around and Eden looked toward me, biting her lip and then giving me a very small smile.
He threw the beanbag at the second platform and cleared those, too, the crowd going wild.
Suddenly, Xander was beside me. He leaned in. "Relax. It's all a show. She wants to be next to you as much as you want to be next to her."
I breathed out and relaxed my hands, which had balled into fists.
Hector took the beanbag in his hand again and hesitated as he aimed for the farthest platform. He made his throw and two of the three smaller beanbags slid easily off, but the third remained. Hector smiled, letting out an exaggerated breath, and raising both hands in an "oh well" gesture.
"I'll win one for the princess," I blurted out, loudly.
I felt all eyes turn toward me, but my focus remained on Hector.
"You idiot," I heard Xander mutter, but my pride ruled the day and I stepped forward.
"Here, Calder," the little girl at the booth said, grinning at me and showing a big gap where both her front teeth were missing. I took the beanbag from her and watched as she set up the three platforms again.
"All set," she said. I threw the first one and cleared the platform easily. The crowd clapped, although not as exuberantly as they had for Hector. I threw the second one and cleared that one easily as well, and the crowd cheered a little bit louder.
I moved over to the third one and glanced back at Eden. Hector had moved behind her and had both hands on her shoulders and was squeezing her lightly. My blood heated and my jaw ticked. Eden widened her eyes and opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something, but didn't.
I turned back around and aimed at the third platform, all the anger in my body seeming to collect in my hand as I threw that beanbag as hard as I could. Silence surrounded me as the bag made contact with the three smaller bags and they all flew off in different directions, the larger beanbag plowing through them and hitting the back wall. There was a second of silence before a loud groan came from the wood of the booth wall and it wobbled as my eyes widened, right before it crashed backward, landing on the ground with a loud thud.
I stood frozen for several seconds, and then the little girl in front of me whose mouth was hanging open, moved slowly to the wreath Eden had requested and silently took it down and held it out to me.
I took it from her and turned around. Eden was standing there with her hand over her mouth and her eyes shining with laughter and delight. And Hector stood behind her, his face a red mask of anger.
I handed the wreath to Eden slowly, and she took it from my hand, her skin brushing mine as her eyes widened and she blinked up at me. I tore my eyes away from her and looked up at Hector. "Father," I said, bowing my head and turning away. I moved past the booth, where two men were already putting the back wall up, and through the crowd. Xander jogged to my side and walked with me silently until we got to my cabin where I put my hands on my lower h*ps and paced in front of it.
"You impulsive fool," Xander said, glaring at me. "Calling attention to yourself and Eden when we're planning to leave? Are you stupid? Now you probably just made it that much harder. Did you see the look on his face? You threatened him."
"He had his hands on her," I gritted out.
Xander moved closer, his face right in front of mine. "Yeah, he did. He plans to marry her. He plans to have his hands all over her . . . forever. And you have to stop acting like a prideful idiot and ruining any chance we might have to get out of here with any ease."
I let out my breath and scrubbed my hand down my face. "You're right. I know you're right. I'm a fool." I sat down on my front step, bowed my head, and laced my fingers behind my neck. A couple seconds later I felt Xander sit down next to me.
We were both quiet for a few minutes before Xander spoke again. "I talked to Kristi. She says we need money, enough to last us three months or so, just long enough to get a job. She estimated three thousand."
I raised my head and looked at him incredulously. "Three thousand dollars?" I laughed. "Where are we supposed to get three thousand dollars?"
Xander shrugged. "I suppose that might be where Eden comes in. Surely the council members keep some money on them. She could start taking just a little, so they don't notice when she does it."
"Stealing again."
Xander let out an annoyed breath. "Do you have a better idea?"
I shook my head and squinted up at the sky. "No."
Xander was quiet for a minute. "Does Eden know how to count money?"
"I barely know how to count money. I mean, I know in theory, but obviously not in practice."
Xander nodded. "I don't know if we can risk bringing anyone else in Acadia into this."
"No, we can't." I thought for a minute. "What about the Castle family? Think there'd be any way of contacting them?"
"Ah geez, I don't know," Xander said, running his hand through his hair.
Bob, Tina, and Melissa Castle were a family that had come to live with us several years ago and then one day, in the middle of the night, they'd taken their things and left, right after Bob Castle had been punished by Hector for insolence. I never knew what the "insolence" was exactly, but Hector talked about those who weren't righteous would never feel comfortable in Acadia, and would be lured back out into the sinful society, as had happened with the Castle family. But I wondered if the Castle family would have another story to tell. Who knew if we could even trust them? My brain was all scrambled most of the time these days. The only people I knew for sure I could trust with my very life were Eden and Xander.
"They might not help anyway," I said. "I never knew them very well."
Xander sighed. "Let's see what Eden says about the money situation up at the main lodge. One step at a time, okay?"
"Yeah. Okay."
"And no more stupid testosterone-fueled stunts with Hector. In fact, you might be wise to apologize to him."
I grimaced. "I'm not sorry."
"Fine. But at least pretend you are."
I tensed my jaw and pictured him bringing Eden's knuckle up to his lips again. But Xander was right. If I wanted to get her away from him, I needed to play this smarter.
As it turned out, I didn't have to go to Hector on my own to offer an apology. The next morning, he summoned me to the main lodge.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Eden
The morning after the festival, Hailey woke me early and told me Hector wanted to see me after breakfast. I sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, feeling a nervous flutter in my belly. "Did he say why?" I asked sleepily.
Hailey shook her head, opened my closet, and pulled out my clothes. She laid my skirt at the end of my bed and then sat down. I propped my pillows behind me so I was sitting up, too.
Hailey studied me for a few seconds and then looked down at her hands. "Your wedding is drawing near, Eden." She paused and I furrowed my brow. "Hector would like me to educate you on the details of your wifely duties. He instructed me to do it as soon as possible."
I froze, her meaning immediately clear and a feeling of dread raced down my spine. I took a deep breath. I would never be Hector's bride. Calder was going to take me away from here before that could happen.
But I could use the lesson, couldn't I? I wanted to know all the ways to please a man. I wanted to know all the ways to please Calder, without him having to show me himself.
"Please do," I said softly.
Hailey glanced at me and her cheeks turned pink. Before she looked away, I thought I saw distress flash in her eyes.
"A woman doesn't enjoy these things, Eden, but a mistress or a wife performs them anyway. Do you understand?"
I shook my head. "No," I whispered. "Doesn't Hector bring you pleasure?" I felt my own face fill with heat and knew my cheeks were flushed, too.
Hailey looked back at me and pursed her lips. She took one of my hands in hers and said, "It is not always unpleasant, and you shouldn't fear it. But only a loose, impure woman takes pleasure for herself. You should focus on your husband only."
I furrowed my brow. Was I loose and impure? I must be, for I had surely enjoyed pleasures of the flesh with Calder. In fact, enjoy might be an understatement.
Hailey took a deep breath. "Things happen to a man when he is aroused. You'll know he wants you in bed when he . . . hardens."
I glanced down. I already knew that. And the thought of it alone, of Calder . . . hardened, sent a bolt of electricity between my legs. I swallowed.
"He will then want you to touch him, with your hand, and with your mouth." The last word came out as a squeak and my eyes widened. "My mouth?" I whispered, incredulous. Calder had used his mouth on me, but I was expected to use my mouth on him, too? "What do I do with it?" I asked.
Hailey let out a small, hysterical sounding laugh, her blush deepening. "Well, uh, you put it in your mouth and you . . . uh," she let out another small laugh, "suck on it."
"Oh," I whispered. I liked it when Calder used his mouth on me, so, would he like it if I used my mouth on him? I started to feel tingly just imagining it. I wanted to squirm with the feeling, but I held myself still.
"I know it sounds absolutely terrible and awful, but you'll get used to it."
"Oh, um, yes, awful," I whispered again.
Hailey cleared her throat. "So, uh, then he'll put his hardened manhood between your legs and enter your body. The first time will hurt and you'll bleed, but after that, it will be okay. Do you understand?" Hailey looked like she wanted to flee.
I kept imagining Calder na**d with me—his tight muscles and masculine beauty clear in my mind's eye. I swallowed again, flushed all over, and became wet between my legs. Yes, I understood. And I wanted it. I wanted it right that very second. I wanted Calder, in my bed, putting his manhood between my legs. Surely I was loose and impure. And I didn't care. I nodded my head.
Hailey stood up and took a deep, shaky breath. "We'll discuss this more before your wedding night, of course. And if you have questions . . . well . . ."
"Thank you, Hailey," I said. "You've been very helpful."
I had asked Calder to make love to me, not knowing exactly what that was. But now I ached for it. I felt dizzy with wanting.
I stood under the warm spray of the shower, thinking about what Hailey had told me. When Calder made love to me, he would enter my body. Goose bumps erupted on my flesh at the thought alone. I washed myself slowly, cleaning between my legs, and as I did so, I slipped the very tip of my finger inside my opening as Calder had done. Heat bloomed all over me, my ni**les puckered. My finger felt snug and squeezed. How would Calder's manhood . . . fit? I heard voices and footsteps outside the door to the bathroom, so I finished my shower quickly and then got dressed. I ate breakfast and walked to Hector's office as he had requested, and nodded demurely at him when he opened the door and ushered me in. My mind was too focused on Calder's manhood to be nervous about the reason Hector might want to see me, and so when I walked inside and saw Calder standing in front of the fireplace, I didn't catch my expression soon enough. Calder's eyes widened in warning and I startled, realizing that a goofy grin was plastered all over my face. I went serious, but not before Hector turned from the door and caught me staring joyfully at Calder. I bent my head and chewed on my lip. When I glanced up, a storm passed over Hector's face and then he, too, schooled his expression as he walked over to his desk and stood behind it.
"Please," he motioned to Calder, "sit down. Eden, you may remain standing." Hector's voice was cold and a chill moved up my spine. I clasped my hands in front of me and stood still, waiting to see what was going to happen.
Calder moved cautiously toward the chair in front of Hector's desk and sat down.
Hector shook his head. "No, I meant sit down on the floor, not the chair."
Calder looked confused and glanced uncertainly at the chair in front of him. "I'm sorry, Father, I don't—"
"Kneel on the floor, Water Bearer. You'll understand when I explain it to you," Hector commanded, his expression angry.
Calder narrowed his eyes. His hands flexed and un-flexed. But he glanced at me quickly and then paused before pushing the chair aside and kneeling down on the floor in front of Hector's desk. My belly clenched in fear, but I raised my chin and looked unflinchingly at Calder. Hector was meaning to humiliate him in front of me and I wouldn't be embarrassed. I understood this was about the festival. This was about Calder showing Hector up in front of his people.
Hector focused on the objects on his desk, seeming to suddenly notice something distressing about them. He rearranged them and then frowned, putting them back the way they'd been. Then he frowned again, straightened them all, using his arm to line them up perfectly.
Calder and I glanced between each other and then back to Hector. Hector suddenly furrowed his brows and took one of the objects, a glass statue of a woman, and threw it at the fireplace so it shattered loudly. I gasped and Calder's eyes shot to me, alarmed.
Hector sat back, his lips tipped up in a small smile. He took a deep breath and looked at Calder, continuing as if nothing strange had just happened.