Before I Wake
Page 46
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Ill go check on him, but I cant take you with me. Blinking all the way to Nashs house was pushing the limit of how far I could go on my own without a layover, and I couldnt get half that far with someone else in tow. But Ill text you if theres anything wrong. Okay?
Sabine scowled and grabbed my arm again, and this time she wouldnt let me jerk free. In case you havent noticed, Nash is in withdrawal again, but this time the drug is you. Dont you think we ought to limit his exposure?
Seriously? She was classifying me as a controlled substance now?
Im just trying to help. And Id go even without her approval. She didnt own Nash, and he and I were still friends. Wed probably always exist in that weird twilight between friendship and more. Wed been through too much together to ever be any less to each other.
Fine. But if anything happens to him because of you, Ill
You need some time to work on that one? I said, pulling my arm free when I realized that for perhaps the first time in her life, she didnt know how to finish a threat. Threatening to scare me to death has kind of lost its punch, huh?
Just go get him. Please.
The rare courtesy told me just how worried she was about him. So I nodded, then ducked into the nearest bathroom and waited until it was empty. Then I blinked into Nashs living room, backpack and all. I set my bag on the floor and started toward the hall, until I heard the clink of glass in the kitchen.
I pushed the swinging door open slowly, expecting to see Nash, but I found his mother instead, and for a moment, I didnt know what to do. Harmony and I hadnt spoken one-on-one since Id cheated on one of her sons with the other, then framed one for my murder. Since Id eavesdropped the day before, I knew she thought Tod and I were good for each other, but I wasnt sure if shed actually forgiven me for what Id done to Nash. Or if she ever would. And I had no idea how shed feel about me popping into her house, unannounced.
But then she turned and noticed me in the doorway, and my chance to sneak out expired.
Kaylee! She stood and motioned for me to come in, and the minute the door swung shut behind me, she pulled me close in a tight hug. Ive been hoping youd come see me, but I didnt want to push you, if you werent ready.
So You dont hate me? And in that moment, I realized that of everything Id lost when I died, other than my heartbeat, Harmony was what Id missed the most. She was the closest thing I had to a mother, but with everything that had happened between me and her sons, Id thought Well, I hadnt expected open arms.
Kaylee, I could never hate you. She let go of meand pulled out a second chair at the table, then pushed a plate of cookies toward me when I sat.
Tears burned behind my eyes and I blinked, trying to keep them at bay. But I got Tod killed and Nash framed for murder. I certainly didnt deserve her sympathy, much less her cookies.
Honey, I know that was a hell of a crazy week, but you didnt do any of that on purpose. And lets not forget what else you did. You also saved Tods life and got Nashs name cleared.
Doesnt matter. I sniffled, in spite of my best effort to hold back tears. Nash hates me.
No. Nash wants to hate you, but he cant. Thats the problem. He just needs time.
To learn to hate me?
No. Harmony arched her brows at me, and I sobbed even as I laughed. To forgive. To move on.
Tod and I We messed up.
She nodded. Yes, you did.
But we didnt mean to hurt him.
I know. Deep down, I think Nash knows. But on the surface, thats harder to understand, and even harder to forgive. She sighed and broke a chunk from her cookie. I wish I could say I didnt see this coming, but I did. Shed warned me from the very start to be careful with bean sidhe brothers. Id thought I was.
Id thought wrong.
Tod told you how he felt?
She gave me a sad smile. No. Im the mother. Neither of them ever willingly tells me anything, but I know how to listen, even to the things they dont say. She sighed again, and this one was heavier. Still, when Nash comes around, maybe you and Tod could hang out here sometimes. I wouldnt mind seeing the two of you every now and then.
Sure. Tod checked on his mother regularly, but he rarely let her see him. For now, can I talk to Nash?
I wish you would. He says hes sick, but hes clean, and sober, and has no sign of a fever. She looked worried, but I couldnt help being relieved by the fact that he was still here, instead of suffering in the Netherworld with Avari and Thane.
Ill see what I can do.
When I knocked on Nashs door, the answer was almost immediate. Go away, Kaylee. He must have heard me talking to his mother. Thats what I get for going completely corporeal, instead of letting only Harmony see and hear me.
Nope. I pushed his door open and walked in, hoping he was dressed. I got half my wishjeans only.
You dont get to just walk in here anymore, he said, stretched out on his bed, hands folded behind his neck. You gave that up when you started making out with my brother.
Sabine scowled and grabbed my arm again, and this time she wouldnt let me jerk free. In case you havent noticed, Nash is in withdrawal again, but this time the drug is you. Dont you think we ought to limit his exposure?
Seriously? She was classifying me as a controlled substance now?
Im just trying to help. And Id go even without her approval. She didnt own Nash, and he and I were still friends. Wed probably always exist in that weird twilight between friendship and more. Wed been through too much together to ever be any less to each other.
Fine. But if anything happens to him because of you, Ill
You need some time to work on that one? I said, pulling my arm free when I realized that for perhaps the first time in her life, she didnt know how to finish a threat. Threatening to scare me to death has kind of lost its punch, huh?
Just go get him. Please.
The rare courtesy told me just how worried she was about him. So I nodded, then ducked into the nearest bathroom and waited until it was empty. Then I blinked into Nashs living room, backpack and all. I set my bag on the floor and started toward the hall, until I heard the clink of glass in the kitchen.
I pushed the swinging door open slowly, expecting to see Nash, but I found his mother instead, and for a moment, I didnt know what to do. Harmony and I hadnt spoken one-on-one since Id cheated on one of her sons with the other, then framed one for my murder. Since Id eavesdropped the day before, I knew she thought Tod and I were good for each other, but I wasnt sure if shed actually forgiven me for what Id done to Nash. Or if she ever would. And I had no idea how shed feel about me popping into her house, unannounced.
But then she turned and noticed me in the doorway, and my chance to sneak out expired.
Kaylee! She stood and motioned for me to come in, and the minute the door swung shut behind me, she pulled me close in a tight hug. Ive been hoping youd come see me, but I didnt want to push you, if you werent ready.
So You dont hate me? And in that moment, I realized that of everything Id lost when I died, other than my heartbeat, Harmony was what Id missed the most. She was the closest thing I had to a mother, but with everything that had happened between me and her sons, Id thought Well, I hadnt expected open arms.
Kaylee, I could never hate you. She let go of meand pulled out a second chair at the table, then pushed a plate of cookies toward me when I sat.
Tears burned behind my eyes and I blinked, trying to keep them at bay. But I got Tod killed and Nash framed for murder. I certainly didnt deserve her sympathy, much less her cookies.
Honey, I know that was a hell of a crazy week, but you didnt do any of that on purpose. And lets not forget what else you did. You also saved Tods life and got Nashs name cleared.
Doesnt matter. I sniffled, in spite of my best effort to hold back tears. Nash hates me.
No. Nash wants to hate you, but he cant. Thats the problem. He just needs time.
To learn to hate me?
No. Harmony arched her brows at me, and I sobbed even as I laughed. To forgive. To move on.
Tod and I We messed up.
She nodded. Yes, you did.
But we didnt mean to hurt him.
I know. Deep down, I think Nash knows. But on the surface, thats harder to understand, and even harder to forgive. She sighed and broke a chunk from her cookie. I wish I could say I didnt see this coming, but I did. Shed warned me from the very start to be careful with bean sidhe brothers. Id thought I was.
Id thought wrong.
Tod told you how he felt?
She gave me a sad smile. No. Im the mother. Neither of them ever willingly tells me anything, but I know how to listen, even to the things they dont say. She sighed again, and this one was heavier. Still, when Nash comes around, maybe you and Tod could hang out here sometimes. I wouldnt mind seeing the two of you every now and then.
Sure. Tod checked on his mother regularly, but he rarely let her see him. For now, can I talk to Nash?
I wish you would. He says hes sick, but hes clean, and sober, and has no sign of a fever. She looked worried, but I couldnt help being relieved by the fact that he was still here, instead of suffering in the Netherworld with Avari and Thane.
Ill see what I can do.
When I knocked on Nashs door, the answer was almost immediate. Go away, Kaylee. He must have heard me talking to his mother. Thats what I get for going completely corporeal, instead of letting only Harmony see and hear me.
Nope. I pushed his door open and walked in, hoping he was dressed. I got half my wishjeans only.
You dont get to just walk in here anymore, he said, stretched out on his bed, hands folded behind his neck. You gave that up when you started making out with my brother.
