Cloud Walking
Page 5
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He felt bad.
He was feeling guilty but that didn't stop him from choosing her over me each and every time. When would I stop being second choice? Would I ever be number one to the person I cared most about in the world?
I was sick of feeling like an afterthought. My dad hadn't thought twice about me when he chose to leave my mom and me when I was five. My sister, Kaitlyn's dad had done the same. My mom spent more time working herself to death than being with her family. And Daniel was forever making everything and anyone more important than me.
Wow, if that wasn't a depressing little stream of thought, I didn't know what was.
Maggie got up and smacked Danny on the back of the head. “Hey, Mr. Jerk. Cut it out. She doesn't need your pity invite. Go have fun with Kylie. Rachel and I will be doing our own thing. So no need to feel guilty,” Maggie said roughly and Daniel's shoulders dropped. Maggie had a way of cutting to the chase in a way that left you feeling either horrible or strangely relieved. She had very little time for verbal games, so she chose not to play them.
Daniel ran a hand over his head and lifted his face to look at me. “Rach. It wasn't a pity invite. I would really like you to come,” he said and his eyes were kind of sad. Whatever. He played the sad card too much and I wasn't in the mood.
I waved my hand. “Really. You do your thing. We'll just see you on Monday,” I said dismissively, wanting him to leave. Daniel read my thoughts clearly and knew that he was no longer wanted. Once upon a time, the three of us were inseparable. Now, it was as though we could barely be in the same room. My feelings for this boy were becoming almost unmanageable. They were messing with my heart, my head, and my life.
I needed to figure something out before it wrecked everything.
Daniel looked from Maggie to me and then grabbed his phone from the desk. “Okay then. Well, give me a call this weekend. Maybe we can grab lunch on Sunday,” he said hopefully. Maggie patted him on the arm.
“Sure, I'll give you a holla,” she reassured him. I knew he hated weirdness between the three of us. And it wasn't fair that Maggie was being pulled into the middle of whatever was brewing between Daniel and me.
They hugged and then Daniel turned to me. Normally he would hug me...but now it just didn't feel right. I lifted my hand in a half sort of wave. “See ya,” I said nonchalantly. The skin between Daniel's eyebrows furrowed but he made no move toward me.
He nodded in my direction and didn't say anything. “Later, Mags,” he said and left her bedroom.
My entire body sagged. Maggie flopped down on her bed. “Okay, Rachel. This is getting ridiculous,” she remarked but I didn't respond. We never really addressed my feelings for Daniel. She was aware of them but it wasn't a normal conversation between the two of us. It was there, nothing else to say about it.
But now, even she couldn't deny how strained things were becoming. But I didn't want to talk about it, so I just shrugged my shoulders. “It's fine. It's always fine. Nothing will change,” I said. Though for once, I didn't believe my words.
Chapter Four
~Rachel~
“Rachel, I need you to watch Kat tonight. I'm picking up an extra shift at the hospital. Rent's due at the end of the month and we're a little short,” my mom said, poking her head around the door to my bedroom.
I bit down on the groan that threatened to swim up from my throat. Instead, I gave my mother a pained smile. “Sure thing,” I replied with a nod. My mom smiled back, also a little painfully. I knew she felt bad for saddling me with parent duty so much. But we didn't really have any other options.
“Thanks, sweetheart.” She sounded so tired and I noticed there were a few more wrinkles around her mouth and eyes than had been there before. My mom wasn't old. She was only eighteen when she had me. But being stuck playing single mom to two kids before you're forty will suck your will to live like no other.
“How's school going?” she asked me. She still hadn't walked into the room. I knew she had to leave for work, but was trying to do the good mom bit by acting interested in my life. But I knew, as well as she did, that she was too tired and too busy to put much effort into it. So the pretending was seriously unnecessary.
“Fine,” I answered shortly, giving her another fake smile. My mom looked relieved that a more in depth conversation wasn't required.
“Just throw a pizza in the oven. Don't forget, Kaitlyn's bedtime is...”
“9:30. Yeah, I know,” I said. Her having to tell me was ludicrous. I knew Kaitlyn's bedtime better than she did, considering I was the one tucking her in most nights and had been since the child was six years old.
“Okay then. See you tomorrow,” my mom said hurriedly, blowing me a kiss. I could hear her talking to Kaitlyn in the living room over the noise of the television. I gathered my homework and went out to join my sister.
Kaitlyn barely acknowledged me when I sat on the couch. She was engrossed in iCarly or Victorious, or whatever tween show she was watching. I pulled my World History book onto my lap and tried to focus on reading the chapter we had for homework. I was sure we'd have a pop quiz tomorrow and I wanted to make sure I aced it. Grades were important to me. I didn't let anything get in the way of me and my 4.0 GPA.
My phone buzzed on the couch beside me. Looking down I saw a picture of Danny sticking his tongue out and his eyes crossed flash on the screen. I couldn't stop my goofy smile. I had taken that particular picture two months ago at lunch. And I loved it. It was the Daniel that I missed most when he was being that other Daniel that I didn't like so much.
He was feeling guilty but that didn't stop him from choosing her over me each and every time. When would I stop being second choice? Would I ever be number one to the person I cared most about in the world?
I was sick of feeling like an afterthought. My dad hadn't thought twice about me when he chose to leave my mom and me when I was five. My sister, Kaitlyn's dad had done the same. My mom spent more time working herself to death than being with her family. And Daniel was forever making everything and anyone more important than me.
Wow, if that wasn't a depressing little stream of thought, I didn't know what was.
Maggie got up and smacked Danny on the back of the head. “Hey, Mr. Jerk. Cut it out. She doesn't need your pity invite. Go have fun with Kylie. Rachel and I will be doing our own thing. So no need to feel guilty,” Maggie said roughly and Daniel's shoulders dropped. Maggie had a way of cutting to the chase in a way that left you feeling either horrible or strangely relieved. She had very little time for verbal games, so she chose not to play them.
Daniel ran a hand over his head and lifted his face to look at me. “Rach. It wasn't a pity invite. I would really like you to come,” he said and his eyes were kind of sad. Whatever. He played the sad card too much and I wasn't in the mood.
I waved my hand. “Really. You do your thing. We'll just see you on Monday,” I said dismissively, wanting him to leave. Daniel read my thoughts clearly and knew that he was no longer wanted. Once upon a time, the three of us were inseparable. Now, it was as though we could barely be in the same room. My feelings for this boy were becoming almost unmanageable. They were messing with my heart, my head, and my life.
I needed to figure something out before it wrecked everything.
Daniel looked from Maggie to me and then grabbed his phone from the desk. “Okay then. Well, give me a call this weekend. Maybe we can grab lunch on Sunday,” he said hopefully. Maggie patted him on the arm.
“Sure, I'll give you a holla,” she reassured him. I knew he hated weirdness between the three of us. And it wasn't fair that Maggie was being pulled into the middle of whatever was brewing between Daniel and me.
They hugged and then Daniel turned to me. Normally he would hug me...but now it just didn't feel right. I lifted my hand in a half sort of wave. “See ya,” I said nonchalantly. The skin between Daniel's eyebrows furrowed but he made no move toward me.
He nodded in my direction and didn't say anything. “Later, Mags,” he said and left her bedroom.
My entire body sagged. Maggie flopped down on her bed. “Okay, Rachel. This is getting ridiculous,” she remarked but I didn't respond. We never really addressed my feelings for Daniel. She was aware of them but it wasn't a normal conversation between the two of us. It was there, nothing else to say about it.
But now, even she couldn't deny how strained things were becoming. But I didn't want to talk about it, so I just shrugged my shoulders. “It's fine. It's always fine. Nothing will change,” I said. Though for once, I didn't believe my words.
Chapter Four
~Rachel~
“Rachel, I need you to watch Kat tonight. I'm picking up an extra shift at the hospital. Rent's due at the end of the month and we're a little short,” my mom said, poking her head around the door to my bedroom.
I bit down on the groan that threatened to swim up from my throat. Instead, I gave my mother a pained smile. “Sure thing,” I replied with a nod. My mom smiled back, also a little painfully. I knew she felt bad for saddling me with parent duty so much. But we didn't really have any other options.
“Thanks, sweetheart.” She sounded so tired and I noticed there were a few more wrinkles around her mouth and eyes than had been there before. My mom wasn't old. She was only eighteen when she had me. But being stuck playing single mom to two kids before you're forty will suck your will to live like no other.
“How's school going?” she asked me. She still hadn't walked into the room. I knew she had to leave for work, but was trying to do the good mom bit by acting interested in my life. But I knew, as well as she did, that she was too tired and too busy to put much effort into it. So the pretending was seriously unnecessary.
“Fine,” I answered shortly, giving her another fake smile. My mom looked relieved that a more in depth conversation wasn't required.
“Just throw a pizza in the oven. Don't forget, Kaitlyn's bedtime is...”
“9:30. Yeah, I know,” I said. Her having to tell me was ludicrous. I knew Kaitlyn's bedtime better than she did, considering I was the one tucking her in most nights and had been since the child was six years old.
“Okay then. See you tomorrow,” my mom said hurriedly, blowing me a kiss. I could hear her talking to Kaitlyn in the living room over the noise of the television. I gathered my homework and went out to join my sister.
Kaitlyn barely acknowledged me when I sat on the couch. She was engrossed in iCarly or Victorious, or whatever tween show she was watching. I pulled my World History book onto my lap and tried to focus on reading the chapter we had for homework. I was sure we'd have a pop quiz tomorrow and I wanted to make sure I aced it. Grades were important to me. I didn't let anything get in the way of me and my 4.0 GPA.
My phone buzzed on the couch beside me. Looking down I saw a picture of Danny sticking his tongue out and his eyes crossed flash on the screen. I couldn't stop my goofy smile. I had taken that particular picture two months ago at lunch. And I loved it. It was the Daniel that I missed most when he was being that other Daniel that I didn't like so much.
