Cloud Walking
Page 6

 A. Meredith Walters

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Let's see which Daniel I'd be talking to this evening. Ignoring the phone call wasn't even an option for me. Of course I'd answer it. I always answer it.
“Hey,” I said, making a motion with my hand at my sister to turn the volume down on the TV. She rolled her eyes at me but did as I asked. Barely. I still had a hard time hearing Daniel on the other end.
“Hey, Rach. How's it goin'?” Daniel asked, his smooth, deep voice like liquid honey in my ears. He was using his charming sex voice. He wanted something.
“What do you need, Danny?” I asked in annoyance. Why couldn't he just call me to talk? Why did it always feel as though having a normal conversation together was impossible anymore?
Daniel's chuckle seemed forced. “Why do you think I need something? Can't I just call to hear your voice?” he said smoothly and I couldn't help the way my insides bunched up. If only he really meant that.
I sighed. “Because I know you...and I know you need something. So just spit it out already,” I said in exasperation. Irritated with myself for being so swayed by him. Even more irritated with him for swaying me.
“Okay, you got me. Do you have our Chem notes? We have that huge test tomorrow and I think I left my binder in my locker.” I leaned over to rifle through my book bag, pulling my Chemistry folder out. I had already been studying for our test for over a week. I knew the material inside and out. Of course, Daniel had procrastinated.
“Yeah, I have it. Do you need help studying?” I found myself offering.
“Would you really help me? Rachel, baby, you are the best! I'll be there in fifteen. I'll even bring some Krispy Kreme crullers you love so much,” Daniel said happily. I sighed. He had called me baby. And he was bringing me crullers. If I didn't have the overwhelming urge to throttle him, I'd be tempted to jump his bones as soon as he showed up.
Who was I kidding, even though I wanted to throttle him I still wanted to molest him. Very, very badly.
“Get the chocolate glazed ones,” I told him and he laughed.
“Of course. As if I'd come with anything else. Be there in a bit,” Daniel said and then hung up. I was left holding my phone, feeling like an idiot. I had my own work to do. So why was I planning to spend my evening helping Daniel with his? Oh that's right, because where he was concerned, my backbone ceased to exist.
I heaved myself off the couch and looked over at my sister. “You hungry?” I asked her. She gave me a nod, not taking her eyes from the TV. What sort of childhood was that? Stuck in front of the television or playing video games? I hated that our mom never had time to spend with her. I didn't begrudge my mother the fact that she worked so hard to keep us housed and clothed. I knew she was exhausted and fed up with the way things were. I helped out where I could, having found myself a job at the movie store in downtown Davidson so I could afford clothes and stuff for school.
But there was that part of me that was resentful all the same. It wasn't my fault that my mom had made poor decisions when it came to the men she let in her life. But here we were, years later and I was taking care of her responsibilities. I loved Kaitlyn...but I wasn't her mother. And the fact that I was so often given the unofficial role, was frustrating.
For the first five years of my life, I remember an active and involved parent. Mom made cookies, attended parent/teacher conferences, signed me up for little league soccer. Before my dad took off, we were somewhat of a normal and functional family.
Then dad had left and Mom met Kaitlyn's father, Samuel. Samuel was not a nice guy. I never liked him. Even in the early days when he tried to butter me up with treats and presents. There was always something off about him. And as it turned out, I was right. He was an abusive prick. Though he never laid a hand on me, I remember him yelling at Mom a lot. Their fights were loud and violent, often resulting in broken dishware and holes in the walls. I knew he had hit my mom. She tried to cover the bruises, but they were there all the same. It had gotten worse after Kaitlyn was born and the jerk finally left two years ago. Six years too late, if you ask me.
But Mom hadn't taken it well. Because then she was stuck with all the responsibility of being both parents. And unfortunately, Kaitlyn got the shaft. I tried to do as much as I could, but it could never replace what she was missing. And Kaitlyn never wasted an opportunity to remind me that I had no real authority over her, especially when I was trying to enforce some sort of rule.
Kaitlyn was eight going on eighteen. She wore clothing way too old for her and fought with Mom about letting her wear make-up. I didn't relate to her on any level. She and I were so completely different; it was amazing that we shared a gene pool.
I couldn't remember being so obsessed with clothes and boys when I was eight flipping years old. I was pretty girlie now, I could admit that. I liked being cute and pretty and I loved to shop. But that hadn't kicked in until I was at least twelve. I felt like Kaitlyn had been that way since the womb. She came into the world demanding skinny jeans and tight shirts. It was just weird.
I went into the kitchen and threw two pizzas into the oven. If Daniel was coming over, I definitely had to be prepared. That boy could eat me out of house and home. I straightened up the living room while I waited for the pizzas to cook.
“Daniel's on his way over to study. After dinner, you need to get ready for bed and do your homework,” I told my sister. She perked up at the mention of Daniel. She had had a crush on him for years now. Okay, so maybe I could see that we were related. Our mutual love and awe of Daniel Lowe clearly showed a propensity for heartbreak and ill-placed devotion in our blood.