I expect Harper to be the first to groan, but she surprises me. “Come on, Sasha. We won’t let a little snow ruin our trip.” She walks out to me and positions herself a little to the left, with her head touching mine. And then she pats the ground on her left. “Here’s your spot, Sasha! Come on.”
Sasha’s boots crunch along in the snow as she walks out towards us in silence. She takes her place on Harper’s left and my right. Her head touches both of ours, and she lets out a sigh. “Now what?”
“Now,” Harper says. “We watch the sunset. And wait for the stars.”
The mountains are so high up this way, the sun is already behind them, but the light hasn’t yet faded. We’re in the perfect moment of dusk. When the air is not yet black from night, but still has that hazy blue-grey of in-between.
We’ve watched hundreds of sunsets over the past six months. Not every night. We forget sometimes. But almost every night.
That moment passes quickly and then the night is upon us.
We lie there, three spokes in a wheel, for several minutes before Harper’s mittened hand points to the sky. “There,” she says. “You can’t see Orion in the summer. So if you came here on a summer night instead, you’d miss him.”
Sasha asks questions about the stars and Harper answers them. She tells stories of sailing the seas looking up at the sky to know where they were heading. She tells stories of the constellations and the myths behind them.
And Sasha listens with the ear of a girl deeply interested in these things. A girl who needs more than just one long road-trip as her formal education.
This is the moment I decide that my Smurf can’t stay with us anymore. She can’t lose the childhood the Company stole from her.
This is the moment I realize, maybe for the first time in my life, that what I’m doing is wrong.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Ford - Christmas Eve - Fort Collins, CO
I pace the length of the front room of our house, staring down at my minions. The face-eaters, as Spencer and Veronica affectionately call them, are lined up in front of the Christmas tree. The blinking lights reflect in their brown eyes.
We have three highly trained protection dogs now that Five is here. I look across the open space first floor of our historic bungalow in Fort Collins, and spy Veronica cuddling Five to her chest as Ashleigh hovers over her, talking a mile a minute about our baby. Veronica’s swollen belly, ready to deliver in just a few more weeks, provides a convenient place for little Five to rest his tiny bootied feet.
I smile at Ashleigh when I catch her looking at me and she smiles back, rocking a fussy one-year-old Kate to her chest. And then I take my attention back to business.
“Face-eaters,” I say. The term has caught on. They are collectively called that now. “Let’s go through the rules one more time.” I turn on my heel and pace in front of them. “One. You will not drool on her. Two. Licking is by invitation only.” I look at Jimmy for this. He’s our newest addition, purchased once we found out Ash was pregnant with Five. His ears prick up when he notices my attention. He’s a licker, so naturally, he objects to that one. “Three. No sniffing of—”
“They’re here!” Rook calls out from the couch in front of the window. I think she’s more excited than anyone. She jumps up and stands in front of me. “Are you ready?”
I nod at her. “I was just making sure the minions are on their best behavior.”
Rook straightens my tie and then pats me on the shoulder like I need moral support.
I kinda do need moral support. This new addition to my family is a big deal.
My daughter, Kate, came to me through my wife, Ashleigh. My son, Five, is ours together. So Sasha is more mine than ours at the moment. I feel the need to do this right. To bring her into the fold properly.
The doorbell rings and everyone stops talking for a moment. I look back at them and see nothing but smiles. They are excited, but they go back to what they were doing and let me handle it. Spencer and Ronin are sitting at the kitchen table, drinking beer and laughing about something. Ash and Veronica are still busy with Five and Kate. And my mother is talking to Mr. Li with a little too much interest.
“You’re gonna be fine, Ford. Just answer the door,” Rook says.
I nod and walk over to the front door. I can see him through the small window.
James Fenici is coming to my house for Christmas Eve dinner. And he’s bringing me a kid. Not just any kid. Sasha Cherlin. The girl who started… well, I look around one more time before reaching for the door handle… everything. She started everything.
I open the door and Fenici smiles and extends his hand. “Aston.”
“James,” I say politely as I shake. And then I look down at his young wife and wish they were all staying. Rook would love to have a friend who is actually younger than her for once. “You must be Harper.” I shake her hand too and move aside to let them in.
But it’s the girl who’s missing who makes my heart skip a beat. “Where is Sasha?”
“In the truck,” James says. “She’s having a hard time. She said she’ll be in soon. But you know, she’s thirteen. So…” He shrugs.
I grab my coat and put it on. And then I gently place Sasha’s present in the box Ashleigh prepared. It’s a red box with a green bow. And the bow stays on, even if you open the box. Ashleigh says all the best presents have bows attached to the tops.
I take her word on that.
“Be right back,” I tell my houseguests. And then I walk outside and pull the door closed behind me. Sasha looks out the window of the black truck and I give her a small wave.
She does not wave back.
I take a seat on the top step of my porch stoop. It’s cold tonight, but not too bad. We can wait her out.
It takes her exactly two minutes and seven seconds to decide to come meet me on the porch. And as she walks up the path to my home, I take her in for the first time since I met her last year.
She doesn’t smile, but I know the braces are long gone. Removed before her grandparents died. But her hair is long and flowing down her front. And she’s tall too. Much taller than the little girl I met last Christmas Eve. She’s wearing a fancy black coat with fuzzy mittens and hat to match. Her dress is a dark red, as are her shoes. She even has a purse that she clutches in her hands as she walks towards me and then stops at the bottom step.
Sasha’s boots crunch along in the snow as she walks out towards us in silence. She takes her place on Harper’s left and my right. Her head touches both of ours, and she lets out a sigh. “Now what?”
“Now,” Harper says. “We watch the sunset. And wait for the stars.”
The mountains are so high up this way, the sun is already behind them, but the light hasn’t yet faded. We’re in the perfect moment of dusk. When the air is not yet black from night, but still has that hazy blue-grey of in-between.
We’ve watched hundreds of sunsets over the past six months. Not every night. We forget sometimes. But almost every night.
That moment passes quickly and then the night is upon us.
We lie there, three spokes in a wheel, for several minutes before Harper’s mittened hand points to the sky. “There,” she says. “You can’t see Orion in the summer. So if you came here on a summer night instead, you’d miss him.”
Sasha asks questions about the stars and Harper answers them. She tells stories of sailing the seas looking up at the sky to know where they were heading. She tells stories of the constellations and the myths behind them.
And Sasha listens with the ear of a girl deeply interested in these things. A girl who needs more than just one long road-trip as her formal education.
This is the moment I decide that my Smurf can’t stay with us anymore. She can’t lose the childhood the Company stole from her.
This is the moment I realize, maybe for the first time in my life, that what I’m doing is wrong.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Ford - Christmas Eve - Fort Collins, CO
I pace the length of the front room of our house, staring down at my minions. The face-eaters, as Spencer and Veronica affectionately call them, are lined up in front of the Christmas tree. The blinking lights reflect in their brown eyes.
We have three highly trained protection dogs now that Five is here. I look across the open space first floor of our historic bungalow in Fort Collins, and spy Veronica cuddling Five to her chest as Ashleigh hovers over her, talking a mile a minute about our baby. Veronica’s swollen belly, ready to deliver in just a few more weeks, provides a convenient place for little Five to rest his tiny bootied feet.
I smile at Ashleigh when I catch her looking at me and she smiles back, rocking a fussy one-year-old Kate to her chest. And then I take my attention back to business.
“Face-eaters,” I say. The term has caught on. They are collectively called that now. “Let’s go through the rules one more time.” I turn on my heel and pace in front of them. “One. You will not drool on her. Two. Licking is by invitation only.” I look at Jimmy for this. He’s our newest addition, purchased once we found out Ash was pregnant with Five. His ears prick up when he notices my attention. He’s a licker, so naturally, he objects to that one. “Three. No sniffing of—”
“They’re here!” Rook calls out from the couch in front of the window. I think she’s more excited than anyone. She jumps up and stands in front of me. “Are you ready?”
I nod at her. “I was just making sure the minions are on their best behavior.”
Rook straightens my tie and then pats me on the shoulder like I need moral support.
I kinda do need moral support. This new addition to my family is a big deal.
My daughter, Kate, came to me through my wife, Ashleigh. My son, Five, is ours together. So Sasha is more mine than ours at the moment. I feel the need to do this right. To bring her into the fold properly.
The doorbell rings and everyone stops talking for a moment. I look back at them and see nothing but smiles. They are excited, but they go back to what they were doing and let me handle it. Spencer and Ronin are sitting at the kitchen table, drinking beer and laughing about something. Ash and Veronica are still busy with Five and Kate. And my mother is talking to Mr. Li with a little too much interest.
“You’re gonna be fine, Ford. Just answer the door,” Rook says.
I nod and walk over to the front door. I can see him through the small window.
James Fenici is coming to my house for Christmas Eve dinner. And he’s bringing me a kid. Not just any kid. Sasha Cherlin. The girl who started… well, I look around one more time before reaching for the door handle… everything. She started everything.
I open the door and Fenici smiles and extends his hand. “Aston.”
“James,” I say politely as I shake. And then I look down at his young wife and wish they were all staying. Rook would love to have a friend who is actually younger than her for once. “You must be Harper.” I shake her hand too and move aside to let them in.
But it’s the girl who’s missing who makes my heart skip a beat. “Where is Sasha?”
“In the truck,” James says. “She’s having a hard time. She said she’ll be in soon. But you know, she’s thirteen. So…” He shrugs.
I grab my coat and put it on. And then I gently place Sasha’s present in the box Ashleigh prepared. It’s a red box with a green bow. And the bow stays on, even if you open the box. Ashleigh says all the best presents have bows attached to the tops.
I take her word on that.
“Be right back,” I tell my houseguests. And then I walk outside and pull the door closed behind me. Sasha looks out the window of the black truck and I give her a small wave.
She does not wave back.
I take a seat on the top step of my porch stoop. It’s cold tonight, but not too bad. We can wait her out.
It takes her exactly two minutes and seven seconds to decide to come meet me on the porch. And as she walks up the path to my home, I take her in for the first time since I met her last year.
She doesn’t smile, but I know the braces are long gone. Removed before her grandparents died. But her hair is long and flowing down her front. And she’s tall too. Much taller than the little girl I met last Christmas Eve. She’s wearing a fancy black coat with fuzzy mittens and hat to match. Her dress is a dark red, as are her shoes. She even has a purse that she clutches in her hands as she walks towards me and then stops at the bottom step.
