Coming Undone
Page 56
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“I love her like I love all my friends. I don’t deny she’s special. I don’t even deny that this supposedly casual thing is way more like a relationship than I’d envisioned, and I’ll even give you that I don’t mind that. I like it even. I like her and I like her kid and I like being with her. Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?”
Erin sent him a challenging look. “You love her like you love Arvin? Really? You’re full of dookie. You know, you raised us to be self-aware. What the f**k? You gonna puss out on this? You. Love. Her. Stop with all this crap about being with her and liking her. This isn’t seventh grade. You don’t like her, you love her. For Christ’s sake, you eat her up with your eyes every time she walks into a room. You want to take care of her like you take care of me and Adrian. She’s a wonderful person. Frankly, Elise is more than I could have ever wished for you. She’s already part of us in a way not even Raven is. She’s special, and to mess around with all this equivocation and crap is insulting to you both.”
“I didn’t come here to be attacked.”
Adrian flipped him off and Brody rolled his eyes. “Pffft. Attacked? You big baby. Big, brawny dude like you and you think us refusing to buy your bullshit is being attacked? C’mere and I’ll sock you in the junk; that’s an attack. You came over here to get a reality check. We’re handing it to you. Of all the people in your life, Erin and I are going to tell you the truth just the same way you’ve done for us.”
“I’m leaving now. I’m going to go home and sleep. You.” He pointed at Erin before stopping to hug her. “Take care of yourself and my niece or nephew.”
“She’s safe,” Ben said, meaning Elise. Brody paused. “We put someone on the house. Just a cruise by every few hours. But I did get a gander at her house a few months ago; it has a decent security system, and unless professionals or ninjas go in to take Rennie, she’s safe. After Ben and I are finished with it, she’ll be safe from ninjas too.”
Brody nodded. “Thanks.”
Ben nodded back. He understood Brody and his fear. Understood what it was to care about someone and want to protect them. Brody appreciated that.
“You know I love you, Brody. You know I want the best for you. It’s not a secret that I never thought that person was Raven. But I do think it’s Elise, and I think you’re a fool if you don’t just admit it to yourself.” Adrian hugged him.
“I love you too, dumbass.” He sighed at his siblings, who looked at him with amusement.
19
She’d just hung up from her call with Frank about the papers she’d faxed over, when there was a knock at her door. “I brought coffee and some Danish Erin had fresh this morning at the café.” Brody walked in and headed for the table. She locked up and wandered back his way.
“Good morning.”
“Rennie get to school okay this morning? She was strung out last night.” He laughed at the memory. Which was easy for him to do.
“Yes. She was fine. Slept like a rock, as usual. Got up, ate a big breakfast, and then my parents showed up and we all walked her. She thought it was pretty cool to have an entourage.”
“Thanks,” he said when she pushed a plate to him for his Danish.
She sipped her coffee and smiled. “She made it with orange and dark chocolate.”
“She knew what you liked and made it. Erin likes to take care of her people.” He paused. “And so do I, so please stop this and tell me what happened. Both before and yesterday too.”
“I don’t want to burden you with this. With all my baggage.”
“Stop it with that. It’s total crap.”
“My feelings are crap?”
“You’re deliberately trying to pick a fight and I’m not going to let you. You’re going to keep your pretty ass right there in that chair and tell me everything right now. How the hell can I fix things if you don’t tell me?”
Elise knew he was trying to help, but damn if he wasn’t pushing her buttons. She could feel it, recognize it, but she couldn’t seem to not be annoyed.
“You can’t fix this. I’m handling it.”
“Handling it? For crap’s sake! Why is telling me so bad? You told Erin.”
“She didn’t demand I fork over my past like a bag of chips.” She stood. “I need to go to work. I have classes.”
“In an hour. You can sit back down and tell me. I’m not leaving until you do. Stop being so pissy and tell me.”
“This he-man thing does not work. In fact, I have to tell you, it just makes me want to refuse for refusal’s sake. I’m trying to be honest here. Back off a minute.”
“Fuck backing off. I backed off for months, waiting for you to tell me. And you haven’t yet. Apparently you don’t trust me enough to tell me.”
“I trust you with everything I am. I let you into my life when I rarely let anyone in. I haven’t dated since, well, in years. And before that, after the divorce, I never brought a single man into my house or her life. Never. I exposed the most personal part of me. I’m glad to know you appreciate it.”
“Now you are succeeding in pulling me into this fight you want to pick so badly. You’re not going to do this. You know how highly I think of your kid and of you too. I’m sick of this smoke-andmirrors crap.” His demeanor softened. “Tell me. I’m imagining far worse.”
Erin sent him a challenging look. “You love her like you love Arvin? Really? You’re full of dookie. You know, you raised us to be self-aware. What the f**k? You gonna puss out on this? You. Love. Her. Stop with all this crap about being with her and liking her. This isn’t seventh grade. You don’t like her, you love her. For Christ’s sake, you eat her up with your eyes every time she walks into a room. You want to take care of her like you take care of me and Adrian. She’s a wonderful person. Frankly, Elise is more than I could have ever wished for you. She’s already part of us in a way not even Raven is. She’s special, and to mess around with all this equivocation and crap is insulting to you both.”
“I didn’t come here to be attacked.”
Adrian flipped him off and Brody rolled his eyes. “Pffft. Attacked? You big baby. Big, brawny dude like you and you think us refusing to buy your bullshit is being attacked? C’mere and I’ll sock you in the junk; that’s an attack. You came over here to get a reality check. We’re handing it to you. Of all the people in your life, Erin and I are going to tell you the truth just the same way you’ve done for us.”
“I’m leaving now. I’m going to go home and sleep. You.” He pointed at Erin before stopping to hug her. “Take care of yourself and my niece or nephew.”
“She’s safe,” Ben said, meaning Elise. Brody paused. “We put someone on the house. Just a cruise by every few hours. But I did get a gander at her house a few months ago; it has a decent security system, and unless professionals or ninjas go in to take Rennie, she’s safe. After Ben and I are finished with it, she’ll be safe from ninjas too.”
Brody nodded. “Thanks.”
Ben nodded back. He understood Brody and his fear. Understood what it was to care about someone and want to protect them. Brody appreciated that.
“You know I love you, Brody. You know I want the best for you. It’s not a secret that I never thought that person was Raven. But I do think it’s Elise, and I think you’re a fool if you don’t just admit it to yourself.” Adrian hugged him.
“I love you too, dumbass.” He sighed at his siblings, who looked at him with amusement.
19
She’d just hung up from her call with Frank about the papers she’d faxed over, when there was a knock at her door. “I brought coffee and some Danish Erin had fresh this morning at the café.” Brody walked in and headed for the table. She locked up and wandered back his way.
“Good morning.”
“Rennie get to school okay this morning? She was strung out last night.” He laughed at the memory. Which was easy for him to do.
“Yes. She was fine. Slept like a rock, as usual. Got up, ate a big breakfast, and then my parents showed up and we all walked her. She thought it was pretty cool to have an entourage.”
“Thanks,” he said when she pushed a plate to him for his Danish.
She sipped her coffee and smiled. “She made it with orange and dark chocolate.”
“She knew what you liked and made it. Erin likes to take care of her people.” He paused. “And so do I, so please stop this and tell me what happened. Both before and yesterday too.”
“I don’t want to burden you with this. With all my baggage.”
“Stop it with that. It’s total crap.”
“My feelings are crap?”
“You’re deliberately trying to pick a fight and I’m not going to let you. You’re going to keep your pretty ass right there in that chair and tell me everything right now. How the hell can I fix things if you don’t tell me?”
Elise knew he was trying to help, but damn if he wasn’t pushing her buttons. She could feel it, recognize it, but she couldn’t seem to not be annoyed.
“You can’t fix this. I’m handling it.”
“Handling it? For crap’s sake! Why is telling me so bad? You told Erin.”
“She didn’t demand I fork over my past like a bag of chips.” She stood. “I need to go to work. I have classes.”
“In an hour. You can sit back down and tell me. I’m not leaving until you do. Stop being so pissy and tell me.”
“This he-man thing does not work. In fact, I have to tell you, it just makes me want to refuse for refusal’s sake. I’m trying to be honest here. Back off a minute.”
“Fuck backing off. I backed off for months, waiting for you to tell me. And you haven’t yet. Apparently you don’t trust me enough to tell me.”
“I trust you with everything I am. I let you into my life when I rarely let anyone in. I haven’t dated since, well, in years. And before that, after the divorce, I never brought a single man into my house or her life. Never. I exposed the most personal part of me. I’m glad to know you appreciate it.”
“Now you are succeeding in pulling me into this fight you want to pick so badly. You’re not going to do this. You know how highly I think of your kid and of you too. I’m sick of this smoke-andmirrors crap.” His demeanor softened. “Tell me. I’m imagining far worse.”
