Coming Undone
Page 57

She relented. She took a deep breath and began to speak. “I’m a murderer.”
He sat back down, looking curious, but not horrified or shocked, so she continued.
The time fell away as she told him the whole story, from the time she met Ken until she killed him in her apartment. When she finished and looked to him, he saw right to the heart of her and he didn’t flinch.
“You’re not a murderer.”
“I killed him, Brody. And let me tell you, lest you think I’m noble again, I am not sorry. He stood between Rennie and safety and I did what I had to do, and I’d do it again. They know it, his parents; they hate me for it. That’s why they want to take her from me.”
His jaw tightened. “You killed him in self-defense, that’s not murder. If he was around today, I’d kill him too. As for his parents, I gather they were a problem before now as well?”
“They filed endless motions to get custody, to make me stay in New York, to have me drug tested, to have her psychologically evaluated. I used to think they cared about Rennie on some level. Now, not so much. She’s a possession they don’t want to lose.”
Brody’s face was taut with anger, and she was relieved that he didn’t think she was horrible. He didn’t hate her, he wasn’t repulsed. Part of her loosened at the discovery.
“You said your attorney called? What’s going on with this newest motion?”
“They’re trying to declare me unfit as a significant change in circumstances. They filed in the county where they have a vacation home. Frank, my attorney, advised me to get a local lawyer and they’d work to get the case transferred here. He doesn’t think they have a case. Which is easy for other people to say so confidently, since they’re not in any danger of losing their children.”
Brody pushed from the chair and began to pace, and she steeled herself.
“Here’s what we’re going to do. You and Rennie will move in with me until this is all taken care of. I’ll sleep in the guest room in the basement the whole time. We’ll talk to Ben and Todd and get some extra security in addition to the new system they’re going to install. By the way, I spoke to Todd before I got here and he said he was coming over tonight after you got home with Rennie.”
“Whoa. Hold up there, Hoss, I don’t need that.”
“Fuck that noise, Elise. You do so need that. You need help and I’m going to give it to you.” He gestured toward her bedroom. “Let’s get you packed and we’ll go to the school and tell Rennie it’s like a sleepover.”
How many times had other people taken over and she’d let them? Ken had controlled her that way; so had Matty, to a certain extent. She had to make her own choices, especially when it came to Rennie.
“I said no, Brody.”
“And I said this is for your own good. You’re coming home with me and I’m not taking no for an answer.”
Everything inside her burst into flame. The fear of losing Rennie, the anger at having to deal with Ken’s parents, and her fear that Brody wouldn’t care, which warred with her fear that he would take over and she’d lose herself entirely—all swirled until it changed into the rage she seldom gave in to.
“I said no! What the heck do you think you’re doing? No. No. Nooooo! I don’t need another father. I have one, and he’s bossy enough as it is. Get out. Go home. Go to work. Just get out.”
“Shorty, I’m not leaving until you and I work out whatever the hell just pushed your buttons.” He stood in the path to the front door, his arms crossed over his chest. It annoyed her that a shiver of pleasure at the way he looked slid up her spine. But it also scared her. She’d had her way blocked like that before, and although she knew he’d never harm her, her guts were as raw as her emotions.
“Get. Out. Of. My. Way.”
Brody had never seen her this way before. Shrill. Angry and freaked the f**k out. Shame washed through him that he’d done anything to scare her. He relaxed his posture and stepped toward her. “Don’t be scared of me. My god, I’d never harm you.”
She fought tears. He heard it in her voice, saw it on her face. She looked so lost and so in pain. He ached to make it right, but what she said next nearly took him to his knees.
“It’s not you. It’s me, and I don’t mean that in a clichéd way. I am f**ked up and jagged inside. You don’t need this, or me. Just go back to your life and pretend I’m just a neighbor.”
He shook his head. “I never pegged you for a coward.” She jerked back and he reached out. He’d meant to jar her out of her funk, not hurt her more. “I didn’t . . . Fuck, I’m sorry.”
She stepped around him and moved toward the door. “I’m going to leave now before this turns into a bigger fight.” She grabbed her bag and headed toward the door. “Lock up when you go.”
He called after her, even as she closed the door, but she kept walking. He didn’t follow.
Brody slammed back into the café, softening when he saw his sister and remembered she was pregnant.
He poured the whole story out to her, and she made the appropriate noises and nodded her head. “You finished?” she asked, taking away his cup. “Now, here’s what I do know and what I’ll tell you. You can’t steamroll her, not over this. She had that before. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
“I know she was abused, but I’m not some junkie loser who raped her. Fuck.”