Craving Absolution
Page 16
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“No.”
My head spun so fast toward Cody, I must have looked like that chick from The Exorcist.
“Why the hell do you think you get a vote?” I asked incredulously as he and Grease stood up and came toward us.
“You’re not sharing an apartment with Gram,” he said, obviously unconcerned with my attitude.
“I’m pretty sure you’re not a part of this conversation,” I said with a sneer, turning away from him in dismissal.
I caught Callie’s wide eyes as she looked back and forth between us, and wanted to hit something as speculation showed clearly on her face.
“Yeah, that probably isn’t going to work, Farrah,” she told me apologetically, as if trying to find a diplomatic way to tell me I was crazy. “Aren’t you guys together now? I mean—”
“No!”
“Yes.”
I whipped back around to find Cody glaring at me.
“Wait, but I thought—” Callie’s words were quieted by Grease as Cody stalked toward me, and I realized we probably should have discussed whatever it was we were doing before airing the dirty laundry in front of our family.
“Farrah and I are going to bed,” Cody told everyone, his face emotionless as he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. “We’ll finish this shit in the morning.”
I buried my forehead against his back in embarrassment as he carried me out of Gram’s and over to my apartment. But as soon as he set me down in my bedroom, I let loose.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I hissed, overly aware of the group of people next door, probably waiting silently for a chance to hear our fight.
“Why the hell would you say we aren’t together?” he bitched back, sitting down on my bed to take his boots off.
I walked to my dresser, pulling my dress off as soon as I reached it. “Just because we had sex once or three times doesn’t mean we’re in a relationship,” I informed him snottily, choosing a large T-shirt from my pajama drawer. I pulled it on and spun around, stalking toward the bed as he undressed silently beside it. “We never said anything about being together. You said I was pretty, kissed my neck a few times, and we had sex. That’s it! That doesn’t mean you can make decisions or have any say about where I freaking live!”
We crawled into bed from opposite sides, and I made a big show of pulling the blankets all the way to my neck before turning my head to look at him. He was lying on his back, one arm behind his head and the other resting on his chest, seemingly relaxed.
“Say something!” I hissed, and smacked the bed between us in frustration.
His head slowly turned my way, and he was completely calm as he rolled the rest of his body toward me until half of it was pinning me to the bed.
“I didn’t say you were pretty. Lots of girls are pretty, Ladybug, and they’re nothing special. You’re fucking beautiful, inside and out.”
My breath stuttered at his intense look, and I swallowed hard.
“And I know you’re mine,” he continued. “You were bitching about how we weren’t in a relationship, spouting bullshit about how it was nothing but me sweet-talking you into sex, but the moment we got in this room, you started getting ready for bed and crawled in here beside me like we’ve done it a thousand times before. That’s not a woman having casual sex.”
My jaw dropped as realization dawned, but he wrapped his arms around me before I could bolt out of the bed.
“We may have just started this, but you can’t pretend that this is where we started. We’ve been building on this shit for years, and I’m not going to pretend that you’re just a random fuck to me. I don’t care if that pisses you off.” He leaned down to bite my neck lightly before lifting his head again with a small smile. “You living with Gram would seriously fuck with our sex life. You really want to fuck me with Gram in the next room blaring Dwight Yoakam?”
He was right; living with Gram really would mess with whatever we had going. I just wasn’t sure that I was ready to live alone, so when Gram offered, I’d jumped at the chance to share a place with her. Deciding to get my own apartment just because I wanted to get freaky with Cody didn’t seem like the smartest plan, and I felt my panic begin to rise as my comfortable life seemed to drift further and further away. I wanted comfort, and after growing up the way I had, I needed it.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” I warned him quietly, my heart racing. “I don’t think I can.”
“Ladybug, you don’t need to do anything.” He tipped my face up to his and brushed his lips lightly over mine. “This is just you and me. There’s no big agenda or reason to put labels on shit. It just is. You’re already doing it.”
I didn’t answer him, my throat tightening in panic until he leaned down again to kiss my lips, then slid his tongue into my mouth with a low growl. His touch worked like the best anti-anxiety meds I’d ever taken, instantly relaxing me.
I didn’t know if it was because I knew from experience that he’d never hurt me, or if it were just instinct, but for some reason he was one of the few people I trusted implicitly. But even though I knew he was trustworthy, it didn’t stop the big red sign in the back of my mind from flashing Danger! over the situation we were in.
Cody’s hands skated under my T-shirt, pulling it farther and farther up as he smoothed the tips of his fingers over my torso, and before long he pulled it over my head and dropped it off the side of the bed, leaving me in nothing but my panties.
My head spun so fast toward Cody, I must have looked like that chick from The Exorcist.
“Why the hell do you think you get a vote?” I asked incredulously as he and Grease stood up and came toward us.
“You’re not sharing an apartment with Gram,” he said, obviously unconcerned with my attitude.
“I’m pretty sure you’re not a part of this conversation,” I said with a sneer, turning away from him in dismissal.
I caught Callie’s wide eyes as she looked back and forth between us, and wanted to hit something as speculation showed clearly on her face.
“Yeah, that probably isn’t going to work, Farrah,” she told me apologetically, as if trying to find a diplomatic way to tell me I was crazy. “Aren’t you guys together now? I mean—”
“No!”
“Yes.”
I whipped back around to find Cody glaring at me.
“Wait, but I thought—” Callie’s words were quieted by Grease as Cody stalked toward me, and I realized we probably should have discussed whatever it was we were doing before airing the dirty laundry in front of our family.
“Farrah and I are going to bed,” Cody told everyone, his face emotionless as he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. “We’ll finish this shit in the morning.”
I buried my forehead against his back in embarrassment as he carried me out of Gram’s and over to my apartment. But as soon as he set me down in my bedroom, I let loose.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I hissed, overly aware of the group of people next door, probably waiting silently for a chance to hear our fight.
“Why the hell would you say we aren’t together?” he bitched back, sitting down on my bed to take his boots off.
I walked to my dresser, pulling my dress off as soon as I reached it. “Just because we had sex once or three times doesn’t mean we’re in a relationship,” I informed him snottily, choosing a large T-shirt from my pajama drawer. I pulled it on and spun around, stalking toward the bed as he undressed silently beside it. “We never said anything about being together. You said I was pretty, kissed my neck a few times, and we had sex. That’s it! That doesn’t mean you can make decisions or have any say about where I freaking live!”
We crawled into bed from opposite sides, and I made a big show of pulling the blankets all the way to my neck before turning my head to look at him. He was lying on his back, one arm behind his head and the other resting on his chest, seemingly relaxed.
“Say something!” I hissed, and smacked the bed between us in frustration.
His head slowly turned my way, and he was completely calm as he rolled the rest of his body toward me until half of it was pinning me to the bed.
“I didn’t say you were pretty. Lots of girls are pretty, Ladybug, and they’re nothing special. You’re fucking beautiful, inside and out.”
My breath stuttered at his intense look, and I swallowed hard.
“And I know you’re mine,” he continued. “You were bitching about how we weren’t in a relationship, spouting bullshit about how it was nothing but me sweet-talking you into sex, but the moment we got in this room, you started getting ready for bed and crawled in here beside me like we’ve done it a thousand times before. That’s not a woman having casual sex.”
My jaw dropped as realization dawned, but he wrapped his arms around me before I could bolt out of the bed.
“We may have just started this, but you can’t pretend that this is where we started. We’ve been building on this shit for years, and I’m not going to pretend that you’re just a random fuck to me. I don’t care if that pisses you off.” He leaned down to bite my neck lightly before lifting his head again with a small smile. “You living with Gram would seriously fuck with our sex life. You really want to fuck me with Gram in the next room blaring Dwight Yoakam?”
He was right; living with Gram really would mess with whatever we had going. I just wasn’t sure that I was ready to live alone, so when Gram offered, I’d jumped at the chance to share a place with her. Deciding to get my own apartment just because I wanted to get freaky with Cody didn’t seem like the smartest plan, and I felt my panic begin to rise as my comfortable life seemed to drift further and further away. I wanted comfort, and after growing up the way I had, I needed it.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” I warned him quietly, my heart racing. “I don’t think I can.”
“Ladybug, you don’t need to do anything.” He tipped my face up to his and brushed his lips lightly over mine. “This is just you and me. There’s no big agenda or reason to put labels on shit. It just is. You’re already doing it.”
I didn’t answer him, my throat tightening in panic until he leaned down again to kiss my lips, then slid his tongue into my mouth with a low growl. His touch worked like the best anti-anxiety meds I’d ever taken, instantly relaxing me.
I didn’t know if it was because I knew from experience that he’d never hurt me, or if it were just instinct, but for some reason he was one of the few people I trusted implicitly. But even though I knew he was trustworthy, it didn’t stop the big red sign in the back of my mind from flashing Danger! over the situation we were in.
Cody’s hands skated under my T-shirt, pulling it farther and farther up as he smoothed the tips of his fingers over my torso, and before long he pulled it over my head and dropped it off the side of the bed, leaving me in nothing but my panties.
