Cut Wide Open
Page 36
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His presence confused me and I squinted my eyes and furrowed my brow. Gunner must have read my confusion. He began to explain, “The day after I saw you in the club, I regretted the way I treated you. I was angry. I can never explain to you how sorry I am. I should’ve seen past how high you were. I got your address and went by your place. That’s where I found Gun. Knew right away he was mine. He’s been with me ever since, well, I mean, I had him stay with Reggie, one of the guys, when me and the boys came and got you.”
I wanted to ask him how they rescued me. I wanted to ask him if Enrico was dead. I hoped like hell he was dead, but when I opened my mouth to talk, nothing came out. “You’ve been out for a few days. You woke up a few times, but it didn't last. This is the most alert you’ve seemed. Here take a sip,” Gunner pressed a straw to my lips and I took a small sip of the cool water.
“You have a lot of gashes on your back. I was getting ready to turn you over on your side and change your bandages. I didn't want Gun to see, so while he’s out, I was hoping we could let the air hit it.”
My eyes said okay as my voice remained silent. He leaned in, I presumed it was to move me, but then his facial hair scratched against my face and his soft lips pressed against my forehead. “I’m so damn thankful to see your eyes open. Missed you, Mouse. Missed you so damn much.” He was pulling away and gently rolled me on my side. He began the painstaking process of removing the bandages. I could tell he was hurrying as the bandages were sticking to my wounds. I didn't have to see my back to understand how it looked. I knew what had happened to me. I was there. Well, at least, until I wasn't.
While he did his thing behind me, I tried to process everything I learned. Gun was safe and had been with his dad. Gunner saved me. Gunner was here. This was real. He rescued me from what I’d thought was the impossible. Hanging from that wall, I’d lost hope, yet here it was; real.
I must’ve dozed off again, but not for very long. I was laying on my stomach and Gunner was sitting next to me, stroking my hair. I wanted to cry at the sensation. I’d thought I’d never see him again, yet here he was, taking care of me.
“You’ve been asleep for a few hours. I have some broth, I want you to drink some. Do you think you can do that? I nodded and then he continued, “You’ll have to sit up, but I want to keep your back uncovered, so I’m going to keep a sheet tucked around your breasts. You had an IV in your arm but Doc removed it yesterday when you woke up. You were thrashing around and he didn't want you to hurt yourself, so your arm might be sore too.” I sat up, pulling the sheet with me. Gunner gave me a look that said, he wanted to help me, but I need to see how I could move. My body was sore, but it wasn't as bad as I’d thought. My limbs felt stiff, but I had some strength. My hair hung over the white sheet and I was surprised to see how nice it looked. Without him saying it, I knew that was Gunner’s doing. He lifted a spoon to my mouth and I sipped broth over and over again, and then when I’d drunk about all I could, he set the bowl down, knowing I’d had enough.
A deep pain low in my groin made me squirm. I had to use the bathroom and badly. I grabbed Gunner’s arm and squeezed my legs together. At first, he looked confused and then as if a light bulb went off he said, “Shit, I should’ve thought of that. There’s not a bathroom in here. It’s down the hall.” Before I knew what was happening, Gunner had me up and was cradling me in his arms. We were moving down a hallway, I briefly saw a few guys sitting at a table and then I was in a bathroom, being deposited on my feet. My legs felt wobbly, “Hold on to me,” he said and then moved my sheet and held it in front of me trying to give me some type of privacy as my ass hit the toilet seat. I couldn't care about privacy, the stream of pee began almost immediately. I wiped and Gunner helped me up, wrapping the sheet around me so that my front and bottom were covered but also so that my back wasn't touching anything. “Put your arms around my shoulders.”
I did like he asked and we were up. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, what I saw was haunting. My face looked hollow and my eyes were vacant. My hair was thinner and I knew immediately it was because Enrico had ripped so much from the scalp. I hated my reflection, but no quicker did I see it, than we were moving again. As we passed down the hall again, Gunner stopped and spoke to one of the men in the kitchen. The man looked at me with sympathy. “Text Shane for me, and let Gun know she’s up. Then, call Doc, would you?” The man nodded and then in a deep scratchy voice said, “Glad to see you up, doll.”
We moved back to the room and Gunner started to lay me back down, but I felt safe in his arms and I didn't want to lose that, so I clung my arms tighter. “Alright, Mouse. I got you.” He laid against the headboard and I held on tight. His arms circled around me and I heard him whisper, “I got you,” before I fell asleep again.
I felt warmth wrapped around me and I still felt the heat from Gunner’s body. “Doc, she hasn't said a word. Is that…”
“The mind is a funny thing. It could be the way her brain is coping with the trauma she’s been through. She could open her mouth and talk today, or it may take a while and by a while, I mean years, if ever. You can’t rush these things. As soon as this shit is over, you’ll need to get her into counseling.”
I blinked and opened my mouth to speak, a squeak of a sound came out, but then I felt hands gripping around my throat. I was right back in the dungeon. Enrico was inside of me. I began to thrash and vaguely heard Gunner’s voice. “Doc?”
“Panic attack,” was the garbled mess I heard the doc murmur, and then I felt a prick and was slipping under into the darkness; again.
***
It had been three days since I’d woken up. Gun had been in and out with me since he’d learned I’d woken up, however, Gunner explained to me that he was trying to shield him from my back. I didn't communicate this, but I was grateful for the fact. I was also beyond grateful that Gunner had Gun. I was so happy to watch the two bond, even if it was only over solitaire at my bedside.
Gunner would use the silence to tell me about his life. He started where we left off. “Babe, worst mistake I ever made was thinking I could trust those Hades Runners. I thought because it was my Mom, I’d be okay. I was wrong. They wouldn't let me leave while I prospected. I should’ve fought harder. I mean, I did fight them and got my ass handed to me once, but then I’d accepted my fate. I wished like hell I kept trying. When I finally could leave and went back, I saw the house burned.” I grabbed his hand to stop him and looked at him confused. “Oh, you don’t know. How could you? Well, after you left there was a fire. Your foster parents were killed. I had the club search for you, but no one really cared. It wasn't a brotherhood. They’re savages. Nothing like us.”
I wanted to ask him how they rescued me. I wanted to ask him if Enrico was dead. I hoped like hell he was dead, but when I opened my mouth to talk, nothing came out. “You’ve been out for a few days. You woke up a few times, but it didn't last. This is the most alert you’ve seemed. Here take a sip,” Gunner pressed a straw to my lips and I took a small sip of the cool water.
“You have a lot of gashes on your back. I was getting ready to turn you over on your side and change your bandages. I didn't want Gun to see, so while he’s out, I was hoping we could let the air hit it.”
My eyes said okay as my voice remained silent. He leaned in, I presumed it was to move me, but then his facial hair scratched against my face and his soft lips pressed against my forehead. “I’m so damn thankful to see your eyes open. Missed you, Mouse. Missed you so damn much.” He was pulling away and gently rolled me on my side. He began the painstaking process of removing the bandages. I could tell he was hurrying as the bandages were sticking to my wounds. I didn't have to see my back to understand how it looked. I knew what had happened to me. I was there. Well, at least, until I wasn't.
While he did his thing behind me, I tried to process everything I learned. Gun was safe and had been with his dad. Gunner saved me. Gunner was here. This was real. He rescued me from what I’d thought was the impossible. Hanging from that wall, I’d lost hope, yet here it was; real.
I must’ve dozed off again, but not for very long. I was laying on my stomach and Gunner was sitting next to me, stroking my hair. I wanted to cry at the sensation. I’d thought I’d never see him again, yet here he was, taking care of me.
“You’ve been asleep for a few hours. I have some broth, I want you to drink some. Do you think you can do that? I nodded and then he continued, “You’ll have to sit up, but I want to keep your back uncovered, so I’m going to keep a sheet tucked around your breasts. You had an IV in your arm but Doc removed it yesterday when you woke up. You were thrashing around and he didn't want you to hurt yourself, so your arm might be sore too.” I sat up, pulling the sheet with me. Gunner gave me a look that said, he wanted to help me, but I need to see how I could move. My body was sore, but it wasn't as bad as I’d thought. My limbs felt stiff, but I had some strength. My hair hung over the white sheet and I was surprised to see how nice it looked. Without him saying it, I knew that was Gunner’s doing. He lifted a spoon to my mouth and I sipped broth over and over again, and then when I’d drunk about all I could, he set the bowl down, knowing I’d had enough.
A deep pain low in my groin made me squirm. I had to use the bathroom and badly. I grabbed Gunner’s arm and squeezed my legs together. At first, he looked confused and then as if a light bulb went off he said, “Shit, I should’ve thought of that. There’s not a bathroom in here. It’s down the hall.” Before I knew what was happening, Gunner had me up and was cradling me in his arms. We were moving down a hallway, I briefly saw a few guys sitting at a table and then I was in a bathroom, being deposited on my feet. My legs felt wobbly, “Hold on to me,” he said and then moved my sheet and held it in front of me trying to give me some type of privacy as my ass hit the toilet seat. I couldn't care about privacy, the stream of pee began almost immediately. I wiped and Gunner helped me up, wrapping the sheet around me so that my front and bottom were covered but also so that my back wasn't touching anything. “Put your arms around my shoulders.”
I did like he asked and we were up. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, what I saw was haunting. My face looked hollow and my eyes were vacant. My hair was thinner and I knew immediately it was because Enrico had ripped so much from the scalp. I hated my reflection, but no quicker did I see it, than we were moving again. As we passed down the hall again, Gunner stopped and spoke to one of the men in the kitchen. The man looked at me with sympathy. “Text Shane for me, and let Gun know she’s up. Then, call Doc, would you?” The man nodded and then in a deep scratchy voice said, “Glad to see you up, doll.”
We moved back to the room and Gunner started to lay me back down, but I felt safe in his arms and I didn't want to lose that, so I clung my arms tighter. “Alright, Mouse. I got you.” He laid against the headboard and I held on tight. His arms circled around me and I heard him whisper, “I got you,” before I fell asleep again.
I felt warmth wrapped around me and I still felt the heat from Gunner’s body. “Doc, she hasn't said a word. Is that…”
“The mind is a funny thing. It could be the way her brain is coping with the trauma she’s been through. She could open her mouth and talk today, or it may take a while and by a while, I mean years, if ever. You can’t rush these things. As soon as this shit is over, you’ll need to get her into counseling.”
I blinked and opened my mouth to speak, a squeak of a sound came out, but then I felt hands gripping around my throat. I was right back in the dungeon. Enrico was inside of me. I began to thrash and vaguely heard Gunner’s voice. “Doc?”
“Panic attack,” was the garbled mess I heard the doc murmur, and then I felt a prick and was slipping under into the darkness; again.
***
It had been three days since I’d woken up. Gun had been in and out with me since he’d learned I’d woken up, however, Gunner explained to me that he was trying to shield him from my back. I didn't communicate this, but I was grateful for the fact. I was also beyond grateful that Gunner had Gun. I was so happy to watch the two bond, even if it was only over solitaire at my bedside.
Gunner would use the silence to tell me about his life. He started where we left off. “Babe, worst mistake I ever made was thinking I could trust those Hades Runners. I thought because it was my Mom, I’d be okay. I was wrong. They wouldn't let me leave while I prospected. I should’ve fought harder. I mean, I did fight them and got my ass handed to me once, but then I’d accepted my fate. I wished like hell I kept trying. When I finally could leave and went back, I saw the house burned.” I grabbed his hand to stop him and looked at him confused. “Oh, you don’t know. How could you? Well, after you left there was a fire. Your foster parents were killed. I had the club search for you, but no one really cared. It wasn't a brotherhood. They’re savages. Nothing like us.”
