Cut Wide Open
Page 38

 Abby McCarthy

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I hurriedly finished her hair and got out. My jeans pooled water on the floor as I stripped them off and slung them over the shower curtain rod. My shirt was soaked through too, so I stripped that off leaving me standing in my boxer briefs. Charlie looked at me from the tub where she still sat, but she was no longer rocking, just staring. I’d given anything to know what she was thinking.
I grabbed a towel from the small closet and wrapped it around her, then threw her robe over her shoulders and scooped her up into my arms. Without being prodded, she brought her arms around my neck to hold on.
In the hallway, I saw Shane and he nodded to the empty spot where Gun had been sitting “Reggie brought him outside as soon as he heard you.” I gave him a chin lift, and hurried Charlie into our room.
I laid her down on the bed, and pulled the blanket over both of us. Under the covers, I kicked off my briefs. I didn't care that I was naked next to her. It came naturally. I didn't even think. I just stripped myself bare, so I wouldn't soak her and then held her. Terrycloth separated our bodies. She relaxed into me, while my body was strung tight. I knew when I’d found her hanging from the wall that hell had been unleashed on her, but it wasn't until seeing those dark bruises that I really grasped it. The not-so-funny-thing was that I’d seen her naked already, but maybe my mind wasn't ready to admit what I was looking at. She fell asleep and not long after began to thrash. I hooked my leg over hers and squeezed her tight, only her thrashing jostled her towel loose and then my naked body was pressed against hers. I froze, not wanting to scare her. What if she woke and my dick was pressed against her thigh? I didn't really get much of a choice because she calmed almost immediately and then after another few minutes of her sleeping soundly she hooked a leg on top of mine. We became a tangled mess of limbs. I wanted to sleep and savor the feeling of finally having her in my arms. I wanted to put my mouth on her skin and wake her during the night like I’d dreamed of so many times doing. I wanted a lot of things, but life was a cruel bitch, dealing me a hand I didn't know how to play. I wasn't piecing her back together. I didn't know what I was doing, but it wasn't that. I was the dumb motherfucker who caused this, from one bad decision to the next. I wanted to stay with her all night like that, but I waited until she was in an even deeper sleep, then I unhooked my legs and slid away from her, careful not to wake her.
I got dressed and watched over her for a few more minutes before leaving her. Inside the kitchen, I saw a bottle of Crown. I didn't bother with a glass, but untwisted the cap and gulped it back. My son was on the couch asleep, and Ace stared at me from the darkened room.
“Not going to fix shit with that, and you know it.”

I ignored him and took another gulp, “Need to do something.”
“Not that,” he nodded towards the bottle knowing that this was a slippery slope for me, and one I wanted to slide down. I wanted to fall away and not have any of this shit that I had going on to be real. I wanted to escape it.
“Fine. Need you to look after them for me, then.” I grabbed my vest and took off. Outside, I opened my phone. I knew the lay of the land, knew the closest place to find a fight. There was one not but twenty minutes from here. I dialed Dimitri. “I’m in tonight. You get me a big ass motherfucker that won’t fall easily.”
Dimitri, the ever happy to do business with me Russian motherfucker, smiled into the phone. I could actual feel his fucking smile. I’d just made him a lot of money tonight. I’d thrown a leg over my bike when Shane caught up with me. I shot him a look that said leave me the fuck be.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”
“I need a few fucking hours,” I snapped.
“So, what? You’re going to get plastered while your woman and kid are going through hell?”
“Nope, I’m going to do that other thing I’m really fucking good at. I’m going nuts in there and if I don't let it out…”
“I get it. I’ll come.”
“No, need you here. No offense, but I need to do this alone.”
He eyed me, “Don’t think you going in alone when we’re dealing with this shit, Brother.”
“Fine, then send Donny and Knuckles with me. They’ll have my back, and the two people I trust more than anything will be here to watch over my family.
He didn't want to give in, but I didn't really give a fuck. I saw it on his face when he decided to let me be “Fine, I’ll get them.”
A short while later, Knuckles, Donny and I were pulling into a warehouse in a podunk hillbilly town in PA. I knocked on the back door, that didn't look like an entrance, but was the only entrance that actually worked in this place. In my fighting days, I was here often enough, and even though it had been some time since I’d been on the circuit, I needed it tonight.
The crowd was thick, men huddled around in the dimly lit warehouse. In the middle of the cavernous room, a circle was spray painted on the ground, giving the men in the makeshift ring their barriers as they danced around each other waiting for the next hit to come. The fighters were lightweights, at best. Both men looked scrappy, but in their own way, were tough.
A minute of watching them had me placing a bet on the smaller one, McGuinness. He wore typical Irish flag shorts. He was getting knocked around by the faster fighter, Thompson. Odds were favoring Thompson, but I had an eye. I didn't even plan on placing any bets, but McGuiness had that look in his eyes that said he was hungry. It said he needed this win. It said he had something to lose. Whoever said a man with nothing to lose was dangerous was a dumb ass. The real danger was a man who had everything to lose. He would fight to hell and back. He would do anything to make sure that what he had was protected. He was the dangerous opponent. Yeah, my money was on him.
Thompson threw a hard right connecting with my guy’s jaw. It was the moment I was waiting for. Every fighter has a limit, that is, if they’re good. This was his. His stance changed, and then it was a new fight. A fight where the scrawny underdog showed the room what he was made of. Showed me what he was made of considering I dropped ten Gs on him.
A minute later, the room was shocked. Men were cursing. A few were shouting. McGuiness won by knockout.
Dimitri smacked me on the back and in a thick accent said, “You always did have a good eye. Whole room bet against him. You just made a fortune.”