“Hello?”
The voice that fills the line is female, and I breathe a strange sigh of relief. My voice was clogged in my throat, and I honestly didn’t know how I would have handled it if Rainer had answered.
“Ah, hello,” I squeak. “I was wondering, ah, if Rainer worked there still?”
“He does. Would you like me to put him on?”
“Yes, I mean—”
She is gone before I finish my sentence. Suddenly, I can’t breathe. I begin to pant. I don’t know if I can do this. I honestly don’t know if I can hear his voice after all this time and not break.
“Yeah?”
Oh. Help.
“Hello?”
His voice—it’s the same but so different. It’s masculine, and manly, and so damned grown up. Tears burst forth and I can’t speak, I try but nothing comes out.
“Is anyone there?”
Rainer.
Oh God.
The beep beep of the disconnected line fills my ears and I drop the phone. I need to see him. I need to see his face again. I need to tell him that I’ll never forget every beautiful thing he did for me. I reach down with shaky fingers and lift my phone, dialing Santana.
“Hey Pippi,” she answers.
“Tana,” I croak.
“Pip? What’s wrong?”
“I need your help, tonight. Can you get Molly watched? It’s important.”
“Absolutely. I’ll be there soon.”
I’m going to see him again.
My best friend. The only person who has ever understood me.
Rainer.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THEN – Pippa
“Happy birthday to you,” Rainer sings softly as we sit amongst the crops. “Happy birthday, dear Pippa, happy birthday to you.”
I’m seventeen. I’ve been here for nearly three years. It hasn’t gotten easier, but it hasn’t gotten harder, either. Artreau has found new assault victims, and he never came back for the favor I owed him. He took interest in a new slave. Since then, Rainer and I have spent our time just working and praying that each day is our last one here.
“Thank you,” I whisper, smiling with trembling lips.
I wonder if Santana is still alive? I wonder if she’s thinking of me right now the way I’m thinking about her. She’ll be about nineteen now. I wonder if she looked for me? Maybe she got married? Tears burn in my eyes as I wonder about the sister I lost. Artreau told me any family I have left was killed and that’s why I was sold, but I just don’t believe it. I would feel it if Santana was dead, and I truly don’t believe she is. Maybe I just don’t want to lose that hope.
Rainer reaches over and takes my hand, squeezing.
“One day, Pip, I’m going to give you the best party you’ve ever had.”
“You will?” I whisper, with a smile.
He turns my body so my back is pressed to his chest. He wraps his arms around my middle and we stare out at the crops. “Yep, I will.”
“Will there be cake?” I ask wistfully.
“So much fucking cake you won’t be able to eat it all.”
“Chocolate?”
“Whatever flavor you want.”
He squeezes me, and I smile. “What about candles?”
“Plenty of those, too.”
“And balloons?”
He chuckles. “Everything you could ever imagine.”
“My sister,” I whisper, looking down.
Rainer puts his head on my shoulder and turns his face into my neck. “Your sister.”
“And what about you? What will you have?” I say, turning my face into his and pressing my cheek against his.
“Only you, Pippa.”
“There has to be more you want?”
He shakes his head and kisses my cheek. “There’ll never be anything more than I could ever want. You’re my best friend, Pippa, and I don’t ever want to let you go.”
I think I adore Rainer.
No, I know I do.
~*~*~*~
NOW – Pippa
“So this guy . . . he was a slave too?” Santana asks as we approach the club.
I nod, chewing on my bottom lip as the bright blue neon sign comes into view. I’m really not sure I can do this. I dressed and made Santana bring me, telling her the story—well most of it—on the way here. She was surprised, but so excited that I might have found someone I know. I’m not so sure Rainer will even want to see me. What if he doesn’t want that reminder of his past?
“Pip, are you okay?”
I nod, but my hands are shaking.
“Pippa.”
Santana stops me, turning me and staring down into my eyes. “You don’t have to do this.”
“He was the only friend I’ve ever had, Tana. I have to do it.”
She nods. “Well, I’ll be right here with you.”
I nod again, and as we reach the doors to the club, my hands begin to sweat. I swallow the thick lump forming in my throat and try to slow down the flurry of butterflies kicking up a storm in my stomach. I close my eyes, take a shaky breath and then we push inside.
The bar is quite nice in a typical bar kind of way. There’s a massive wooden counter that bartenders are serving over. Pool tables line the middle floors and tables and chairs are scattered about everywhere. There’s even a dance floor and a stage for a band. I walk towards the bar, figuring that’s the best place to start.
I have a memory of Rainer in my head, but it was years ago that I saw him. He would be a man now. Maybe he looks the same—maybe he doesn’t. I try to picture him, but it’s so hard when nerves are swallowing me. Santana grabs my arm and whispers, “Do you want me to look with you, or just wait?”
The voice that fills the line is female, and I breathe a strange sigh of relief. My voice was clogged in my throat, and I honestly didn’t know how I would have handled it if Rainer had answered.
“Ah, hello,” I squeak. “I was wondering, ah, if Rainer worked there still?”
“He does. Would you like me to put him on?”
“Yes, I mean—”
She is gone before I finish my sentence. Suddenly, I can’t breathe. I begin to pant. I don’t know if I can do this. I honestly don’t know if I can hear his voice after all this time and not break.
“Yeah?”
Oh. Help.
“Hello?”
His voice—it’s the same but so different. It’s masculine, and manly, and so damned grown up. Tears burst forth and I can’t speak, I try but nothing comes out.
“Is anyone there?”
Rainer.
Oh God.
The beep beep of the disconnected line fills my ears and I drop the phone. I need to see him. I need to see his face again. I need to tell him that I’ll never forget every beautiful thing he did for me. I reach down with shaky fingers and lift my phone, dialing Santana.
“Hey Pippi,” she answers.
“Tana,” I croak.
“Pip? What’s wrong?”
“I need your help, tonight. Can you get Molly watched? It’s important.”
“Absolutely. I’ll be there soon.”
I’m going to see him again.
My best friend. The only person who has ever understood me.
Rainer.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THEN – Pippa
“Happy birthday to you,” Rainer sings softly as we sit amongst the crops. “Happy birthday, dear Pippa, happy birthday to you.”
I’m seventeen. I’ve been here for nearly three years. It hasn’t gotten easier, but it hasn’t gotten harder, either. Artreau has found new assault victims, and he never came back for the favor I owed him. He took interest in a new slave. Since then, Rainer and I have spent our time just working and praying that each day is our last one here.
“Thank you,” I whisper, smiling with trembling lips.
I wonder if Santana is still alive? I wonder if she’s thinking of me right now the way I’m thinking about her. She’ll be about nineteen now. I wonder if she looked for me? Maybe she got married? Tears burn in my eyes as I wonder about the sister I lost. Artreau told me any family I have left was killed and that’s why I was sold, but I just don’t believe it. I would feel it if Santana was dead, and I truly don’t believe she is. Maybe I just don’t want to lose that hope.
Rainer reaches over and takes my hand, squeezing.
“One day, Pip, I’m going to give you the best party you’ve ever had.”
“You will?” I whisper, with a smile.
He turns my body so my back is pressed to his chest. He wraps his arms around my middle and we stare out at the crops. “Yep, I will.”
“Will there be cake?” I ask wistfully.
“So much fucking cake you won’t be able to eat it all.”
“Chocolate?”
“Whatever flavor you want.”
He squeezes me, and I smile. “What about candles?”
“Plenty of those, too.”
“And balloons?”
He chuckles. “Everything you could ever imagine.”
“My sister,” I whisper, looking down.
Rainer puts his head on my shoulder and turns his face into my neck. “Your sister.”
“And what about you? What will you have?” I say, turning my face into his and pressing my cheek against his.
“Only you, Pippa.”
“There has to be more you want?”
He shakes his head and kisses my cheek. “There’ll never be anything more than I could ever want. You’re my best friend, Pippa, and I don’t ever want to let you go.”
I think I adore Rainer.
No, I know I do.
~*~*~*~
NOW – Pippa
“So this guy . . . he was a slave too?” Santana asks as we approach the club.
I nod, chewing on my bottom lip as the bright blue neon sign comes into view. I’m really not sure I can do this. I dressed and made Santana bring me, telling her the story—well most of it—on the way here. She was surprised, but so excited that I might have found someone I know. I’m not so sure Rainer will even want to see me. What if he doesn’t want that reminder of his past?
“Pip, are you okay?”
I nod, but my hands are shaking.
“Pippa.”
Santana stops me, turning me and staring down into my eyes. “You don’t have to do this.”
“He was the only friend I’ve ever had, Tana. I have to do it.”
She nods. “Well, I’ll be right here with you.”
I nod again, and as we reach the doors to the club, my hands begin to sweat. I swallow the thick lump forming in my throat and try to slow down the flurry of butterflies kicking up a storm in my stomach. I close my eyes, take a shaky breath and then we push inside.
The bar is quite nice in a typical bar kind of way. There’s a massive wooden counter that bartenders are serving over. Pool tables line the middle floors and tables and chairs are scattered about everywhere. There’s even a dance floor and a stage for a band. I walk towards the bar, figuring that’s the best place to start.
I have a memory of Rainer in my head, but it was years ago that I saw him. He would be a man now. Maybe he looks the same—maybe he doesn’t. I try to picture him, but it’s so hard when nerves are swallowing me. Santana grabs my arm and whispers, “Do you want me to look with you, or just wait?”
