Fighting to Be Free
Page 115
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“Do you want to talk about these?” I asked, following the line of the jagged scar that ran across his hip and over most of his stomach.
His jaw tightened as he shook his head fiercely. “No. You don’t need to know that, it’s in the past, it needs to stay there.”
“It’s not good for you to bottle it up, Jamie,” I countered, looking at him sympathetically. “Maybe you should talk about it. It might make you feel better.”
He shook his head again, his eyes hard and determined as he spoke, “Ellie, I don’t want you to know those things because you’ll look at me differently. You won’t see me anymore; you’ll just see the knife wounds, the belt marks, and the burns. I don’t want you to look at me differently, I love the way you look at me,” he whispered, stroking the side of my face with the back of one finger.
I felt my chin tremble as I looked into his pleading eyes. He was silently begging me to let it go and not keep asking, maybe it was too painful for him to talk about; he couldn’t really be worried about me looking at him differently, surely. He should know me better by now.
“I love every part of you and if you want to talk about it then I’ll listen and be here for you,” I replied.
He smiled at me, his eyes telling me that he appreciated the sentiment. “I know that, thank you.”
We lapsed into silence, just sitting there looking at each other. His eyes told me everything I needed to know, I could practically see the love shining out of his big brown eyes as he looked at me tenderly. His fingers combed through my hair as he pressed his forehead to mine, his breath blowing across my face making my heart speed up.
I tilted my head up and brushed my lips against his softly. He made a little moan in the back of his throat as he kissed me back just as gently, before pulling back and just looking at me in awe. My love for him was a little overwhelming as tears stung my eyes. He smiled at me, that beautiful smile that made me go weak at the knees, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
As his mouth inched towards mine again, everything seemed to fall into place. This boy in my arms was my whole world, my future, and I just prayed that he never stopped looking at me with that little glint in his eye.
He made love to me there on the couch but it was unlike anything I’d ever felt before in my life.
We’d had sex before, I would swear on the bible that he’d ‘made love’ to me before, but this, this was so very very different. It was beautiful. Every caress and kiss was different, like he was touching my very soul. The whispered words of love seemed to fill the room as the passion built to impossible heights. He literally gave me everything in that moment, everything of himself, all of his love and passion. It was the most breath-taking thing that had ever happened to me, and I’d never felt closer to anyone in my life. It was almost as if, in that moment, we were one person. It made my heart swell and ache in my chest. It was so special that a tear escaped my eyes, and he simply kissed it away as he whispered how much he loved me.
After, he just laid on top of me and pressed his face into the side of my neck, his hands continuing to trace the contours of my body as we both caught our breaths. I didn’t want to move, I didn’t want to shatter this moment and take away the magic of what had passed between us. So instead I closed my eyes and held his sweaty body close to mine, letting his safety and protectiveness cover me as I drifted to sleep with a small smile on my face.
I felt him move, his warm body shifting away from mine, instantly making me feel cold. I was just about to complain when something soft and fluffy was placed over me, tucking up under my chin. I wriggled to get more comfortable and forced my tired eyes open to see him pulling on his jeans, moving slowly as if he was trying not to wake me or something. He’d put a blanket over me so I snuggled under it, his familiar scent washing over me.
I smiled to myself as I watched his muscles in his back tense and relax as he moved. When he bent over to grab his t-shirt from the floor I chewed on my lip as my eyes literally devoured his ass.
“Walk of shame?” I teased.
He jumped, turning and looking at me over his shoulder with a shocked expression. “Sorry, did I wake you? I was trying to be quiet,” he said apologetically.
I smiled and shrugged, rolling onto my side and putting my hand under my head. His sofa wasn’t exactly comfortable, especially now that I was on it alone. “S’okay. Where you sneaking off to anyway?” I asked, raking my eyes over his chest before he covered up his hotness with the stupid t-shirt. Clothes really should be illegal where Jamie’s concerned.
He smiled and knelt down next to the sofa, brushing my hair away from my face. “I have to go do this job. I’ll be back before morning though. Why don’t you go get some sleep in the bed and I’ll try not to wake you when I get in,” he suggested, bending and kissing my forehead.
“I thought you didn’t have to be there until eleven,” I countered, pouting because I could spend another couple of hours with him if he didn’t leave early.
He smiled, tapping the tip of my nose with one finger. “I don’t, sleepy head, but it’s almost ten thirty now.”
Ten thirty? Oh crap, I should have been home hours ago! I gasped, throwing off the blanket and jumping up, almost knocking him on his butt where I moved so quickly. “Oh crap, I’m so late! My mom’s gonna kill me!” I cried, panicking as I looked around for where we’d tossed my clothes.
“I take it you’re not staying here then,” he said, laughing quietly as he picked up my panties, swinging them around one finger with a smirk on his face. I went to grab them so I could hurry and get home, but he moved them out of my reach and grinned wickedly as he pushed them in his pocket. “I’m taking those with me, you’ll have to go without. It’ll make you think of me, and it’ll definitely make me think of you,” he teased.
His jaw tightened as he shook his head fiercely. “No. You don’t need to know that, it’s in the past, it needs to stay there.”
“It’s not good for you to bottle it up, Jamie,” I countered, looking at him sympathetically. “Maybe you should talk about it. It might make you feel better.”
He shook his head again, his eyes hard and determined as he spoke, “Ellie, I don’t want you to know those things because you’ll look at me differently. You won’t see me anymore; you’ll just see the knife wounds, the belt marks, and the burns. I don’t want you to look at me differently, I love the way you look at me,” he whispered, stroking the side of my face with the back of one finger.
I felt my chin tremble as I looked into his pleading eyes. He was silently begging me to let it go and not keep asking, maybe it was too painful for him to talk about; he couldn’t really be worried about me looking at him differently, surely. He should know me better by now.
“I love every part of you and if you want to talk about it then I’ll listen and be here for you,” I replied.
He smiled at me, his eyes telling me that he appreciated the sentiment. “I know that, thank you.”
We lapsed into silence, just sitting there looking at each other. His eyes told me everything I needed to know, I could practically see the love shining out of his big brown eyes as he looked at me tenderly. His fingers combed through my hair as he pressed his forehead to mine, his breath blowing across my face making my heart speed up.
I tilted my head up and brushed my lips against his softly. He made a little moan in the back of his throat as he kissed me back just as gently, before pulling back and just looking at me in awe. My love for him was a little overwhelming as tears stung my eyes. He smiled at me, that beautiful smile that made me go weak at the knees, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
As his mouth inched towards mine again, everything seemed to fall into place. This boy in my arms was my whole world, my future, and I just prayed that he never stopped looking at me with that little glint in his eye.
He made love to me there on the couch but it was unlike anything I’d ever felt before in my life.
We’d had sex before, I would swear on the bible that he’d ‘made love’ to me before, but this, this was so very very different. It was beautiful. Every caress and kiss was different, like he was touching my very soul. The whispered words of love seemed to fill the room as the passion built to impossible heights. He literally gave me everything in that moment, everything of himself, all of his love and passion. It was the most breath-taking thing that had ever happened to me, and I’d never felt closer to anyone in my life. It was almost as if, in that moment, we were one person. It made my heart swell and ache in my chest. It was so special that a tear escaped my eyes, and he simply kissed it away as he whispered how much he loved me.
After, he just laid on top of me and pressed his face into the side of my neck, his hands continuing to trace the contours of my body as we both caught our breaths. I didn’t want to move, I didn’t want to shatter this moment and take away the magic of what had passed between us. So instead I closed my eyes and held his sweaty body close to mine, letting his safety and protectiveness cover me as I drifted to sleep with a small smile on my face.
I felt him move, his warm body shifting away from mine, instantly making me feel cold. I was just about to complain when something soft and fluffy was placed over me, tucking up under my chin. I wriggled to get more comfortable and forced my tired eyes open to see him pulling on his jeans, moving slowly as if he was trying not to wake me or something. He’d put a blanket over me so I snuggled under it, his familiar scent washing over me.
I smiled to myself as I watched his muscles in his back tense and relax as he moved. When he bent over to grab his t-shirt from the floor I chewed on my lip as my eyes literally devoured his ass.
“Walk of shame?” I teased.
He jumped, turning and looking at me over his shoulder with a shocked expression. “Sorry, did I wake you? I was trying to be quiet,” he said apologetically.
I smiled and shrugged, rolling onto my side and putting my hand under my head. His sofa wasn’t exactly comfortable, especially now that I was on it alone. “S’okay. Where you sneaking off to anyway?” I asked, raking my eyes over his chest before he covered up his hotness with the stupid t-shirt. Clothes really should be illegal where Jamie’s concerned.
He smiled and knelt down next to the sofa, brushing my hair away from my face. “I have to go do this job. I’ll be back before morning though. Why don’t you go get some sleep in the bed and I’ll try not to wake you when I get in,” he suggested, bending and kissing my forehead.
“I thought you didn’t have to be there until eleven,” I countered, pouting because I could spend another couple of hours with him if he didn’t leave early.
He smiled, tapping the tip of my nose with one finger. “I don’t, sleepy head, but it’s almost ten thirty now.”
Ten thirty? Oh crap, I should have been home hours ago! I gasped, throwing off the blanket and jumping up, almost knocking him on his butt where I moved so quickly. “Oh crap, I’m so late! My mom’s gonna kill me!” I cried, panicking as I looked around for where we’d tossed my clothes.
“I take it you’re not staying here then,” he said, laughing quietly as he picked up my panties, swinging them around one finger with a smirk on his face. I went to grab them so I could hurry and get home, but he moved them out of my reach and grinned wickedly as he pushed them in his pocket. “I’m taking those with me, you’ll have to go without. It’ll make you think of me, and it’ll definitely make me think of you,” he teased.
