Fighting to Be Free
Page 69
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By the time we were done it was after three in the afternoon and there was really no point in me going to the scrap yard, they liked to head off at about four anyway. I lingered in Brett's office with him and wondered how I could ask for money already even though I'd only made the agreement three days ago. His usual payout day was Sunday, so I had a few days to go yet.
I frowned and he looked at me curiously, taking off his suit jacket and hanging it on his coat rack.
"What's up, you don't usually linger. Something wrong?" he asked, eyeing me suspiciously.
I shook my head and decided to just ask; he could only say no, it was no big deal. "I was wondering if I could get an advance on my wages. Not the one for the boost, just the weekly rate. My first payment is due soon and I want to have the money ready," I asked, looking at him hopefully.
Thoughts of me not having the money in time had been buzzing around my head all day and I just needed to make sure nothing could go wrong. Having that money early would just take some of the pressure off of me and stop me stressing so much.
He sighed and headed over to his safe that hung behind a picture on the wall. I watched as he pulled out $2,000 and slammed the door shut. "Just don't be telling the other boys I did that, I don't want them all in here asking. That was the only exception, and only because it was you. Understand?"
I smiled gratefully and felt some of the tension loosen from my shoulders as I shoved the money into the inside pocket of my leather jacket. "Thanks, Brett. I'll see you tomorrow night before the boost." He waved me off with a flick of his fingers so I headed out quickly before he thought of anything else he wanted me to do for him.
That night I barely slept at all. All I kept thinking about was Ellie getting hurt. I knew I should break it off with her, I shouldn't be dragging her into this seedy world with me, she deserved better than that. But I couldn't let her go; I just needed her to keep me sane otherwise what would be the point in me fighting so hard? There was no freedom without her.
I decided to see how it went. Hopefully now that I'd shown my face a little, the boosts would start rolling in and I would have the money to pay Tony off within a couple of weeks. Then all I would need to worry about was not letting her know the real me.
I tossed and turned in my bed, trying desperately to get some sleep. I had a seriously long day tomorrow. I had a full days work at the scrap yard, then her dance, after that, the boost. I wasn't looking forward to bailing on Ellie tomorrow night, but it needed to be done. I hoped she forgave me; she was an incredible person so I think she would. I laid on my back and blew out a big breath, watching the shadows dance across the ceiling. I pushed myself up and grabbed the calendar off of the wall and a pen, circling the last date that I had agreed to work for Brett. I kept that circled date in my head as I laid back down and finally drifted into a shallow sleep.
Chapter 16
~ Ellie ~
"He's gonna do it tonight, I just know it," I moaned, putting my head in my hands.
Stacey sighed and rubbed her hand across my shoulder supportively. "Ellie, for goodness sake, Jamie is not going to break it off with you! Will you get a hold of yourself? You're going to ruin your make-up!" she scolded, pulling my hands away from my face with her other hand.
I looked up at her and willed myself to believe her, to listen to the words that she'd been cooing over and over for the last week - but I couldn’t make myself believe them in the slightest. Jamie was going to break up with me soon, I just knew it. He'd been so distant lately, everything was changing between us. Maybe he was realising that he was better suited to someone more….. in his league.
"Stace, seriously, we've barely even spoken lately. He just goes off daydreaming all the time and he gets this look on his face that tells me he doesn’t want to talk about stuff when I ask what's wrong.
He jumps every time his cell phone rings, he told me last night that I can't stay at his place on Saturday night because he has and I quote 'plans with Callum' yet I'm sure that Callum is going away with his family this weekend, I'm positive he said that was this weekend!" I explained for the hundredth time.
She shook her head and plopped down onto the bed next to me, looking at me sternly. "Ellie Pearce, just stop thinking about it. Whenever I see you two together you're laughing and flirting. You're constantly talking on the phone, do you know how rare that is for people to just be able to talk on the phone to their boyfriends for ten minutes without losing their interest, yet you can talk to Jamie for an hour and still have more to say to each other. I can't do that with Paul, not even close. You've probably got your weekends muddled up, Callum's probably going away some other time and you're just reading too much into things because you're getting scared."
I frowned at that. Jamie and I got on great we really did, and if the last week hadn't happened then I wouldn't be thinking anything was wrong. But Jamie had just become more….. quiet, reserved even. He didn't pay me as much attention; sometimes he'd just get this look on his face, like he was somewhere else while I was talking to him. Something was wrong, and it HAD to be me.
"I'm not getting scared," I countered, frowning.
She raised one eyebrow at me challengingly. "Yes you are, I know for a fact that you're crazy about that boy and that fact scares the life out of you because of how Mark turned out. You're scared to let yourself fall for him so you're making up excuses so that you don't get too close. You're hoping to convince yourself that it's going nowhere so that you don't end up getting hurt in the long run," she stated confidently.
I frowned and he looked at me curiously, taking off his suit jacket and hanging it on his coat rack.
"What's up, you don't usually linger. Something wrong?" he asked, eyeing me suspiciously.
I shook my head and decided to just ask; he could only say no, it was no big deal. "I was wondering if I could get an advance on my wages. Not the one for the boost, just the weekly rate. My first payment is due soon and I want to have the money ready," I asked, looking at him hopefully.
Thoughts of me not having the money in time had been buzzing around my head all day and I just needed to make sure nothing could go wrong. Having that money early would just take some of the pressure off of me and stop me stressing so much.
He sighed and headed over to his safe that hung behind a picture on the wall. I watched as he pulled out $2,000 and slammed the door shut. "Just don't be telling the other boys I did that, I don't want them all in here asking. That was the only exception, and only because it was you. Understand?"
I smiled gratefully and felt some of the tension loosen from my shoulders as I shoved the money into the inside pocket of my leather jacket. "Thanks, Brett. I'll see you tomorrow night before the boost." He waved me off with a flick of his fingers so I headed out quickly before he thought of anything else he wanted me to do for him.
That night I barely slept at all. All I kept thinking about was Ellie getting hurt. I knew I should break it off with her, I shouldn't be dragging her into this seedy world with me, she deserved better than that. But I couldn't let her go; I just needed her to keep me sane otherwise what would be the point in me fighting so hard? There was no freedom without her.
I decided to see how it went. Hopefully now that I'd shown my face a little, the boosts would start rolling in and I would have the money to pay Tony off within a couple of weeks. Then all I would need to worry about was not letting her know the real me.
I tossed and turned in my bed, trying desperately to get some sleep. I had a seriously long day tomorrow. I had a full days work at the scrap yard, then her dance, after that, the boost. I wasn't looking forward to bailing on Ellie tomorrow night, but it needed to be done. I hoped she forgave me; she was an incredible person so I think she would. I laid on my back and blew out a big breath, watching the shadows dance across the ceiling. I pushed myself up and grabbed the calendar off of the wall and a pen, circling the last date that I had agreed to work for Brett. I kept that circled date in my head as I laid back down and finally drifted into a shallow sleep.
Chapter 16
~ Ellie ~
"He's gonna do it tonight, I just know it," I moaned, putting my head in my hands.
Stacey sighed and rubbed her hand across my shoulder supportively. "Ellie, for goodness sake, Jamie is not going to break it off with you! Will you get a hold of yourself? You're going to ruin your make-up!" she scolded, pulling my hands away from my face with her other hand.
I looked up at her and willed myself to believe her, to listen to the words that she'd been cooing over and over for the last week - but I couldn’t make myself believe them in the slightest. Jamie was going to break up with me soon, I just knew it. He'd been so distant lately, everything was changing between us. Maybe he was realising that he was better suited to someone more….. in his league.
"Stace, seriously, we've barely even spoken lately. He just goes off daydreaming all the time and he gets this look on his face that tells me he doesn’t want to talk about stuff when I ask what's wrong.
He jumps every time his cell phone rings, he told me last night that I can't stay at his place on Saturday night because he has and I quote 'plans with Callum' yet I'm sure that Callum is going away with his family this weekend, I'm positive he said that was this weekend!" I explained for the hundredth time.
She shook her head and plopped down onto the bed next to me, looking at me sternly. "Ellie Pearce, just stop thinking about it. Whenever I see you two together you're laughing and flirting. You're constantly talking on the phone, do you know how rare that is for people to just be able to talk on the phone to their boyfriends for ten minutes without losing their interest, yet you can talk to Jamie for an hour and still have more to say to each other. I can't do that with Paul, not even close. You've probably got your weekends muddled up, Callum's probably going away some other time and you're just reading too much into things because you're getting scared."
I frowned at that. Jamie and I got on great we really did, and if the last week hadn't happened then I wouldn't be thinking anything was wrong. But Jamie had just become more….. quiet, reserved even. He didn't pay me as much attention; sometimes he'd just get this look on his face, like he was somewhere else while I was talking to him. Something was wrong, and it HAD to be me.
"I'm not getting scared," I countered, frowning.
She raised one eyebrow at me challengingly. "Yes you are, I know for a fact that you're crazy about that boy and that fact scares the life out of you because of how Mark turned out. You're scared to let yourself fall for him so you're making up excuses so that you don't get too close. You're hoping to convince yourself that it's going nowhere so that you don't end up getting hurt in the long run," she stated confidently.
