"Whatever you're working on must be way more interesting than anything I've got going on."
I open my eyes to see Tara leaning against the doorframe. Her dark hair is pulled back so only the blue streak is hanging loose.
"Are you aware that you're just staring into space with an incredibly goofy grin on your face?"
I deliberately make my goofy grin even bigger. "Is smiling a crime now?"
"It is when this grin has something to do with a certain moody client of ours."
My smile fades. "I'm trying not to think about him but I can't help it. He's just … everything that he was when I knew him before and more." I tell her about Major Halliwell. "Instead of cleaning, he's got me helping him out with this new program. It's been a long time since I've felt that good about something I was doing. I really love being a part of that."
Tara's face falls. "You're in love with him. The first day you told me about him, I knew this was where it was going. But it scares me to see how into this guy you are."
"I can't help it, Tara. I've always loved him." It thrills me and frustrates me, too. Wanting Finn is just a constant that I can't escape in my life.
She perches on the edge of my desk. "I know he's gorgeous and rich and crazy over you. But he's also kind of twisted and obsessed and messed up, too. He's already admitted that he wanted to use you and get you out of his system. I just don’t want to see you get hurt by this guy. Not again."
"That’s just it, I hurt him. He never hurt me. Not once. I was scared when I saw him acting so crazy that day but now that I know what was going on, how can I not try to help him?"
"Gah!" She crosses her arms. "That's our fatal flaw as women. We always want to help guys and nurture them. Sometimes there isn't any help other than to run far and fast."
The nagging pain behind my eye socket has gotten worse and the whole left side of my head is throbbing. I've ignored the signs and now it looks like this is about to develop into a full-blown migraine.
"I need to go home." I wince as another throb of pain stabs right behind my eye. "I'm getting a migraine."
Tara knows how intense my migraines can be so she immediately takes my arm and pulls me to my feet. "Go home and rest. I'll cover for you this afternoon."
"Thank you." I shut down my computer and then walk out to the parking lot. All I really want is to go to Finn's but with the way we left things, I'm not sure if that's such a good idea. Letting him take care of me is really tempting though. He always knew what to do for me when I would get these debilitating headaches.
He always knows what to do in every situation but I'm afraid to get used to relying on that too soon.
* * * * *
The front door has never seemed so far away. The chime peals again and I heave myself upward. I place a hand on my abdomen as I shuffle down the hallway praying that I don’t get nauseated again before I can get rid of whoever it is at the door.
I peer through the peephole and then freeze. Finn stands on my mother's front porch looking almost too big for the area the peephole covers. I pull the door open slowly and look at him blearily.
His eyes drift up to my hair and I reach up and pat the haphazard bun that I pulled my curls into. Then I look down at what I’m wearing. I’ve got on my favorite pair of pajamas with the ribbons and hearts all over them.
Embarrassment sets in. I’m not too exhausted to feel mortified that he’s seeing me like this.
“What are you doing here?”
He holds up the plastic bags in his hands. “Delivery.” He pushes past me and I just let it happen. I’m way too tired to protest his high-handed methods the way I usually would.
He takes everything to the kitchen and then is back before I can even drag my weary body after him. “I called the office and Tara told me you were sick. How are you feeling?
I push the hair around my face back. “About how I look.”
He nods once and then picks me up.
“Finn!”
“You looked like you were on the verge of collapsing at any moment.”
“Just tired.” Even saying the words requires more energy than I have at the moment.
In my room, he deposits me gently in the middle of the bed. He pulls the covers back so I can slide beneath and then to my surprise, he slides in next to me. It feels so good to have him here. Like I can finally relax and let someone else take care of things for a while.
"Sleep, angel." He loops one arm over my waist and pulls me back into the cradle of his body.
When I wake up the next time, the television is on, the soft lights flickering over the bed. The curtains are drawn so I can’t tell whether it’s still daylight but I have the sense that it’s late. I turn my head and my nose brushes up against Finn’s chest. That’s when I realize why I’m so warm and cozy. I’m tucked up under Finn’s arm, snuggled against his chest.
He stayed with me.
Finn looks down at me and there’s something indefinably warm in his expression. This is how he used to look at me, like he could spend hours just staring at my face. “You’re awake. Are you hungry?”
My stomach pitches at the idea of food. “No food. I can’t even think about it.”
He sits up slightly and the motion forces me to move back. “Here. Take a sip of water. You can’t get dehydrated.”
I open my eyes to see Tara leaning against the doorframe. Her dark hair is pulled back so only the blue streak is hanging loose.
"Are you aware that you're just staring into space with an incredibly goofy grin on your face?"
I deliberately make my goofy grin even bigger. "Is smiling a crime now?"
"It is when this grin has something to do with a certain moody client of ours."
My smile fades. "I'm trying not to think about him but I can't help it. He's just … everything that he was when I knew him before and more." I tell her about Major Halliwell. "Instead of cleaning, he's got me helping him out with this new program. It's been a long time since I've felt that good about something I was doing. I really love being a part of that."
Tara's face falls. "You're in love with him. The first day you told me about him, I knew this was where it was going. But it scares me to see how into this guy you are."
"I can't help it, Tara. I've always loved him." It thrills me and frustrates me, too. Wanting Finn is just a constant that I can't escape in my life.
She perches on the edge of my desk. "I know he's gorgeous and rich and crazy over you. But he's also kind of twisted and obsessed and messed up, too. He's already admitted that he wanted to use you and get you out of his system. I just don’t want to see you get hurt by this guy. Not again."
"That’s just it, I hurt him. He never hurt me. Not once. I was scared when I saw him acting so crazy that day but now that I know what was going on, how can I not try to help him?"
"Gah!" She crosses her arms. "That's our fatal flaw as women. We always want to help guys and nurture them. Sometimes there isn't any help other than to run far and fast."
The nagging pain behind my eye socket has gotten worse and the whole left side of my head is throbbing. I've ignored the signs and now it looks like this is about to develop into a full-blown migraine.
"I need to go home." I wince as another throb of pain stabs right behind my eye. "I'm getting a migraine."
Tara knows how intense my migraines can be so she immediately takes my arm and pulls me to my feet. "Go home and rest. I'll cover for you this afternoon."
"Thank you." I shut down my computer and then walk out to the parking lot. All I really want is to go to Finn's but with the way we left things, I'm not sure if that's such a good idea. Letting him take care of me is really tempting though. He always knew what to do for me when I would get these debilitating headaches.
He always knows what to do in every situation but I'm afraid to get used to relying on that too soon.
* * * * *
The front door has never seemed so far away. The chime peals again and I heave myself upward. I place a hand on my abdomen as I shuffle down the hallway praying that I don’t get nauseated again before I can get rid of whoever it is at the door.
I peer through the peephole and then freeze. Finn stands on my mother's front porch looking almost too big for the area the peephole covers. I pull the door open slowly and look at him blearily.
His eyes drift up to my hair and I reach up and pat the haphazard bun that I pulled my curls into. Then I look down at what I’m wearing. I’ve got on my favorite pair of pajamas with the ribbons and hearts all over them.
Embarrassment sets in. I’m not too exhausted to feel mortified that he’s seeing me like this.
“What are you doing here?”
He holds up the plastic bags in his hands. “Delivery.” He pushes past me and I just let it happen. I’m way too tired to protest his high-handed methods the way I usually would.
He takes everything to the kitchen and then is back before I can even drag my weary body after him. “I called the office and Tara told me you were sick. How are you feeling?
I push the hair around my face back. “About how I look.”
He nods once and then picks me up.
“Finn!”
“You looked like you were on the verge of collapsing at any moment.”
“Just tired.” Even saying the words requires more energy than I have at the moment.
In my room, he deposits me gently in the middle of the bed. He pulls the covers back so I can slide beneath and then to my surprise, he slides in next to me. It feels so good to have him here. Like I can finally relax and let someone else take care of things for a while.
"Sleep, angel." He loops one arm over my waist and pulls me back into the cradle of his body.
When I wake up the next time, the television is on, the soft lights flickering over the bed. The curtains are drawn so I can’t tell whether it’s still daylight but I have the sense that it’s late. I turn my head and my nose brushes up against Finn’s chest. That’s when I realize why I’m so warm and cozy. I’m tucked up under Finn’s arm, snuggled against his chest.
He stayed with me.
Finn looks down at me and there’s something indefinably warm in his expression. This is how he used to look at me, like he could spend hours just staring at my face. “You’re awake. Are you hungry?”
My stomach pitches at the idea of food. “No food. I can’t even think about it.”
He sits up slightly and the motion forces me to move back. “Here. Take a sip of water. You can’t get dehydrated.”
