That's no one's fault but my own.
"Maybe it isn't what it looks like?" Daphne suggests. She's been hovering over me ever since I got here. I think she feels some sense of responsibility since she had to break the news to me. But it doesn't matter who told me or how I found out. All that matters is the bottom line.
Finn Marshall now owns me in truth.
"Or maybe it's exactly what it looks like." My head falls forward into my hands. Not only am I humiliated because I've been so stupid and so blind but also completely sick that I have let my two best friends down. They've done nothing but support me and now because of Finn's vendetta against me, they are going to be caught up in the crossfire.
"He warned me. He told me in the very beginning that he wanted revenge and that was his sole purpose in seeking me out."
"He actually said that?" Daphne asks, horrified.
Tara squeezes her arm. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. There may be another explanation. Maybe he was already in the process of buying Mercers before you guys reconnected?"
It's possible but in my heart I know it isn't true. My mom always told me not to trust pretty words from a man. To just take them at face value and I've never been good at that. If I had heeded that advice, then I would have run away the first time I saw Finn standing in the middle of his apartment looking so haunted.
"He would have told me about it if that were the case. It came up in conversation way too many times. No, this was deliberate. I know it was."
Finally Tara speaks what we're all thinking. "But if he's doing this for revenge, then that means we just lost two major contracts. And we can't meet payroll without at least one of them."
I nod, miserable. If I hadn't already done the paperwork to push a couple of our part-timers into full-time status it wouldn't be so bad. But we now have more salaries along with the resultant benefits and taxes to pay. Along with our next rent payment, we're screwed.
Totally and completely screwed.
"How could he even know that was one of our major clients in time to pull this off?" Tara wonders.
"Oh god." The humiliations just keep on coming. I bang my forehead against the desk. "The presentation. When his lawyer asked for the quote, he also asked for references. You know, other clients so they can check up on you. That presentation gave him everything he needed to figure out our weak spots. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't try to buy all of our other clients. That's how he does things. All or nothing."
"This is pretty sick. There has to be something we can do." Tara paces the floor and then blows out a breath. "Maybe we should go and talk to him. All three of us. We can threaten to sue or go to the media! How would he like that? I'm sure the local news would cover that story. Billionaire asshole bankrupts three local women for funzies."
I snort out a laugh. Even in the midst of a crisis Tara can always make me laugh. Then my smile fades. "I'll go talk to him. He's mad at me so it follows that I'm the one he wants to hurt the most. Maybe if I tell him what he's really done, he'll stop this. There's plenty of other ways he can hurt just me without taking away the employment of a bunch of women who need their jobs.”
"Do you really think that'll work?" Daphne looks hopeful. I don't want to crush her optimism but I'm afraid to give her anything to hold on to.
"No, I really don't think that'll work. But I'm hoping that underneath the part of him that obviously still hates me, that there's still a piece of the boy I loved. That guy was always a good person." I stand up and grab my handbag.
"Let's just hope he’s still in there somewhere.”
* * * * *
Even though I have a key, I ring the bell. Finn opens the door after a few minutes.
"Rissa? What are you doing out here? Did you lose your key?"
He opens the door wider and steps back so I can enter. After a moment of hesitation, I come in. With the exception of that day when he was hallucinating, he's never scared me. I'm just afraid of what he makes me feel.
"I already know Finn, so you can drop the act. Your plan succeeded. Congratulations."
He looks so thoroughly confused that for a moment a small ray of hope peeks through that maybe this is all a mistake.
"What plan?"
"Your revenge. Your plan to buy all my clients so that I'll be wholly and completely dependent on you."
Suddenly he looks wary. "What are you talking about?"
"Mercers. They were just bought out. By your company."
He looks shocked and then I see it. Recognition. He knew this was happening.
His eyes close briefly. "Rissa wait. I can explain."
Those words should be banned from the male vocabulary because that's the first thing men say when they've done something wrong. Andy always had an explanation too after he'd hurt me and I'm done with listening to people rationalizing away my pain.
"There's nothing that needs explanation. I'm stupid for trusting. You were honest from the very beginning. You told me that this was your way of working me out of your system and that you wanted to hurt me the way I hurt you. Well, I just thought you should know that your plan worked brilliantly."
I can feel the tears coming but I refuse to cry in front of him. That's what he wants. He wanted to break me down. To make me pay. It hurts so much to think back over the last few weeks, to find out that all those moments that I thought we were reconnecting were really just part of some grand master plan to ruin me. I've had more fun with him than I've had with anyone. Ever. How can I ever trust anybody again if this isn't real? How can I trust anything I feel?
"Maybe it isn't what it looks like?" Daphne suggests. She's been hovering over me ever since I got here. I think she feels some sense of responsibility since she had to break the news to me. But it doesn't matter who told me or how I found out. All that matters is the bottom line.
Finn Marshall now owns me in truth.
"Or maybe it's exactly what it looks like." My head falls forward into my hands. Not only am I humiliated because I've been so stupid and so blind but also completely sick that I have let my two best friends down. They've done nothing but support me and now because of Finn's vendetta against me, they are going to be caught up in the crossfire.
"He warned me. He told me in the very beginning that he wanted revenge and that was his sole purpose in seeking me out."
"He actually said that?" Daphne asks, horrified.
Tara squeezes her arm. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves. There may be another explanation. Maybe he was already in the process of buying Mercers before you guys reconnected?"
It's possible but in my heart I know it isn't true. My mom always told me not to trust pretty words from a man. To just take them at face value and I've never been good at that. If I had heeded that advice, then I would have run away the first time I saw Finn standing in the middle of his apartment looking so haunted.
"He would have told me about it if that were the case. It came up in conversation way too many times. No, this was deliberate. I know it was."
Finally Tara speaks what we're all thinking. "But if he's doing this for revenge, then that means we just lost two major contracts. And we can't meet payroll without at least one of them."
I nod, miserable. If I hadn't already done the paperwork to push a couple of our part-timers into full-time status it wouldn't be so bad. But we now have more salaries along with the resultant benefits and taxes to pay. Along with our next rent payment, we're screwed.
Totally and completely screwed.
"How could he even know that was one of our major clients in time to pull this off?" Tara wonders.
"Oh god." The humiliations just keep on coming. I bang my forehead against the desk. "The presentation. When his lawyer asked for the quote, he also asked for references. You know, other clients so they can check up on you. That presentation gave him everything he needed to figure out our weak spots. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't try to buy all of our other clients. That's how he does things. All or nothing."
"This is pretty sick. There has to be something we can do." Tara paces the floor and then blows out a breath. "Maybe we should go and talk to him. All three of us. We can threaten to sue or go to the media! How would he like that? I'm sure the local news would cover that story. Billionaire asshole bankrupts three local women for funzies."
I snort out a laugh. Even in the midst of a crisis Tara can always make me laugh. Then my smile fades. "I'll go talk to him. He's mad at me so it follows that I'm the one he wants to hurt the most. Maybe if I tell him what he's really done, he'll stop this. There's plenty of other ways he can hurt just me without taking away the employment of a bunch of women who need their jobs.”
"Do you really think that'll work?" Daphne looks hopeful. I don't want to crush her optimism but I'm afraid to give her anything to hold on to.
"No, I really don't think that'll work. But I'm hoping that underneath the part of him that obviously still hates me, that there's still a piece of the boy I loved. That guy was always a good person." I stand up and grab my handbag.
"Let's just hope he’s still in there somewhere.”
* * * * *
Even though I have a key, I ring the bell. Finn opens the door after a few minutes.
"Rissa? What are you doing out here? Did you lose your key?"
He opens the door wider and steps back so I can enter. After a moment of hesitation, I come in. With the exception of that day when he was hallucinating, he's never scared me. I'm just afraid of what he makes me feel.
"I already know Finn, so you can drop the act. Your plan succeeded. Congratulations."
He looks so thoroughly confused that for a moment a small ray of hope peeks through that maybe this is all a mistake.
"What plan?"
"Your revenge. Your plan to buy all my clients so that I'll be wholly and completely dependent on you."
Suddenly he looks wary. "What are you talking about?"
"Mercers. They were just bought out. By your company."
He looks shocked and then I see it. Recognition. He knew this was happening.
His eyes close briefly. "Rissa wait. I can explain."
Those words should be banned from the male vocabulary because that's the first thing men say when they've done something wrong. Andy always had an explanation too after he'd hurt me and I'm done with listening to people rationalizing away my pain.
"There's nothing that needs explanation. I'm stupid for trusting. You were honest from the very beginning. You told me that this was your way of working me out of your system and that you wanted to hurt me the way I hurt you. Well, I just thought you should know that your plan worked brilliantly."
I can feel the tears coming but I refuse to cry in front of him. That's what he wants. He wanted to break me down. To make me pay. It hurts so much to think back over the last few weeks, to find out that all those moments that I thought we were reconnecting were really just part of some grand master plan to ruin me. I've had more fun with him than I've had with anyone. Ever. How can I ever trust anybody again if this isn't real? How can I trust anything I feel?
