"Rissa, listen to me. In the beginning I did want to hurt you. I told my lawyer to keep his eyes open for the opportunity to buy any of the companies listed as your clients. I admit that."
I gape at him. "You say that like it's not a big deal. Like it's not the worst violation ever."
"That's not what I meant. I know that it was wrong. And as soon as we started talking again, things started to change. All the ways I wanted to hurt you, I wanted to help you. Being around you reminded me of how I used to be. Carefree. Happy."
"Well, being around you has reminded me that I'm just as naive as ever. Because once again I've let myself get involved with someone who has an ulterior motive. Someone who wants to control me."
"I don't want to control you. My plan was to buy out all your clients just so you'd see me. I wanted you to know that I could crush you. The way you crushed me all those years ago. But I gave it up just as soon as I got to know you again. I told my lawyer to stop looking for deals. I didn't realize that he'd already finalized this one. He has power of attorney to complete deals for this company without my signature. I didn't even know he'd done it until today. I thought that I had time to fix it. I was going to tell you."
I laugh so hard it actually hurts my stomach. Finn just stands watching me like he's afraid to come any closer. Which shows he really is a smart one because if he gets too close right now I might just scratch his eyes out.
"That's your defense? You've been accused of lying, manipulating and just being downright diabolical and your defense is my lawyer did it?"
Finn sighs. "I was going to tell you. I just thought I had more time to figure things out. I'll fix this and then things can go back to the way they were."
How could I not have seen this in him before now, that he will spin, cajole and manipulate any situation regardless of how wrong it may be? Has he really been like this all along and I just couldn't see it? Or did I do this to him?
Maybe this is my penance for my past sins. To reconnect with the man I love only to find that he's been destroyed and twisted by what I did to him.
"All that time you were telling me you loved me and all the while you were scheming behind my back to bankrupt my business. But it's not just my business, Finn. It's Tara's and Daphne's and the women who work for us. They're all hurt too and it isn't fair because they have nothing to do with our history."
I hold up my hand when he moves closer. All the things that he'll say to convince me are probably already poised on his lips for a perfect delivery. Finn has always been a master at that and I'm sure with enough time he could wear me down and convince me that I'm overreacting. But I don't want to let him sway me this time.
"Things can't go back to the way they were."
I sit down on the arm of the couch, suddenly exhausted and depressed. The second wind I'd gotten when I found out about his treachery is deserting me now leaving me with the same lingering lethargy I had when I first woke up.
Briefly, I wish that I could rewind and go back to this morning. I would roll over, put the pillow over my head and ignore the world. We never truly enjoy our last moments of calm.
"Please just let me try to fix this, Rissa. I'll sell the company to someone else with the contingency that they have to use your company's services. Or I'll keep it and then you'll know for sure that you have the contract as long as you want it."
He sounds so sincere, one shade close to begging and for a moment, I almost give in. But where does it end if I do that? Will he buy all my other clients? Will he buy the grocery store where I shop or the salon where I get my hair done? Where will his sphere of control end? It'll be just like before when I lived with Andrew, scared to tell anyone how he treated me because I was wholly dependent on him for survival.
Never again.
"No matter what spin you try to put on this, it comes down to the same thing. You just want to control me just like Andrew did. And I'm over that."
* * * * *
Driving home, I have to pull over three times because I'm crying so hard. I don't want to have an accident or endanger anyone else but I really just want to get home. I need my bed and my mom and to block out everything to do with manipulative men.
But then again I really don't want my mom to see me like this. So I decide instead to return to my house. Andrew's house, I correct myself. I have to stop thinking of it as my home. It never really was.
I pull up in the driveway and my eyes are immediately drawn to the white sign taped to the door. I get out, not bothering to lock up my car, and march across the lawn. My neighbor on the left side is outside weeding. When she sees me on the warpath toward the front door, she jumps up and runs inside her house.
That's right. Go call and tell him I'm here.
I snatch the paper off the door and scan the document quickly. It's some kind of notice that says I have three days to vacate the property for failure to pay rent.
That bastard.
Andrew is pissed so this is how he decides to punish me. By throwing me out with very little warning. It shouldn't even come as a surprise to me since this is exactly the kind of thing he does. Underhanded. Juvenile. Manipulative.
My taste in men is consistent at least.
I pull out my phone. "Tara. I'm so sorry to do this but can you come to my house? Andy has put some kind of eviction notice on the door and I'll need help getting my stuff out."
I gape at him. "You say that like it's not a big deal. Like it's not the worst violation ever."
"That's not what I meant. I know that it was wrong. And as soon as we started talking again, things started to change. All the ways I wanted to hurt you, I wanted to help you. Being around you reminded me of how I used to be. Carefree. Happy."
"Well, being around you has reminded me that I'm just as naive as ever. Because once again I've let myself get involved with someone who has an ulterior motive. Someone who wants to control me."
"I don't want to control you. My plan was to buy out all your clients just so you'd see me. I wanted you to know that I could crush you. The way you crushed me all those years ago. But I gave it up just as soon as I got to know you again. I told my lawyer to stop looking for deals. I didn't realize that he'd already finalized this one. He has power of attorney to complete deals for this company without my signature. I didn't even know he'd done it until today. I thought that I had time to fix it. I was going to tell you."
I laugh so hard it actually hurts my stomach. Finn just stands watching me like he's afraid to come any closer. Which shows he really is a smart one because if he gets too close right now I might just scratch his eyes out.
"That's your defense? You've been accused of lying, manipulating and just being downright diabolical and your defense is my lawyer did it?"
Finn sighs. "I was going to tell you. I just thought I had more time to figure things out. I'll fix this and then things can go back to the way they were."
How could I not have seen this in him before now, that he will spin, cajole and manipulate any situation regardless of how wrong it may be? Has he really been like this all along and I just couldn't see it? Or did I do this to him?
Maybe this is my penance for my past sins. To reconnect with the man I love only to find that he's been destroyed and twisted by what I did to him.
"All that time you were telling me you loved me and all the while you were scheming behind my back to bankrupt my business. But it's not just my business, Finn. It's Tara's and Daphne's and the women who work for us. They're all hurt too and it isn't fair because they have nothing to do with our history."
I hold up my hand when he moves closer. All the things that he'll say to convince me are probably already poised on his lips for a perfect delivery. Finn has always been a master at that and I'm sure with enough time he could wear me down and convince me that I'm overreacting. But I don't want to let him sway me this time.
"Things can't go back to the way they were."
I sit down on the arm of the couch, suddenly exhausted and depressed. The second wind I'd gotten when I found out about his treachery is deserting me now leaving me with the same lingering lethargy I had when I first woke up.
Briefly, I wish that I could rewind and go back to this morning. I would roll over, put the pillow over my head and ignore the world. We never truly enjoy our last moments of calm.
"Please just let me try to fix this, Rissa. I'll sell the company to someone else with the contingency that they have to use your company's services. Or I'll keep it and then you'll know for sure that you have the contract as long as you want it."
He sounds so sincere, one shade close to begging and for a moment, I almost give in. But where does it end if I do that? Will he buy all my other clients? Will he buy the grocery store where I shop or the salon where I get my hair done? Where will his sphere of control end? It'll be just like before when I lived with Andrew, scared to tell anyone how he treated me because I was wholly dependent on him for survival.
Never again.
"No matter what spin you try to put on this, it comes down to the same thing. You just want to control me just like Andrew did. And I'm over that."
* * * * *
Driving home, I have to pull over three times because I'm crying so hard. I don't want to have an accident or endanger anyone else but I really just want to get home. I need my bed and my mom and to block out everything to do with manipulative men.
But then again I really don't want my mom to see me like this. So I decide instead to return to my house. Andrew's house, I correct myself. I have to stop thinking of it as my home. It never really was.
I pull up in the driveway and my eyes are immediately drawn to the white sign taped to the door. I get out, not bothering to lock up my car, and march across the lawn. My neighbor on the left side is outside weeding. When she sees me on the warpath toward the front door, she jumps up and runs inside her house.
That's right. Go call and tell him I'm here.
I snatch the paper off the door and scan the document quickly. It's some kind of notice that says I have three days to vacate the property for failure to pay rent.
That bastard.
Andrew is pissed so this is how he decides to punish me. By throwing me out with very little warning. It shouldn't even come as a surprise to me since this is exactly the kind of thing he does. Underhanded. Juvenile. Manipulative.
My taste in men is consistent at least.
I pull out my phone. "Tara. I'm so sorry to do this but can you come to my house? Andy has put some kind of eviction notice on the door and I'll need help getting my stuff out."
