“Why are you here, Gabe?”
“I had to see you.”
“We had a great time and I don’t regret it. You’re the one who ran out the next morning. So I repeat, why are you here?”
He grabs my arm and pulls me closer, turning his back to the other people standing at the bar. “This entire week all I could think of was you. I came to see you this morning because I thought that would be enough. Just a quick visit to stop this … obsession. But it’s not enough.”
As he speaks, he's looking at me with this savage expression that I've never seen on him before. The intensity is almost too much to take. It's as if he's trying to soothe the beast within with the object of its torment.
“Nothing will ever be enough," he whispers.
I suck in a breath as our eyes meet and something tightens in my stomach. Just like that, it's back, the same powerful awareness of him that makes me want to claw his clothes off.
His words should soothe me. It should be a relief to hear that I’m not the only one who feels this pull, this overwhelming sense of losing control of who am I when he’s near but it only makes me feel worse.
Because in all the things he’s said, how he wants me and how he’s obsessed with me, nowhere in all of that speech did he say he wants to feel this way. The way he feels is like a disease that he’s trying to shake and for me, it’s like a flame that I’m drawn to. A flame that warms me, thrills me and makes me long to get burned.
Suddenly he jerks back and pats his pocket. When he moves his hand, I can hear his phone vibrating. After several rings it stops and then immediately starts again.
"Something important?" Part of me is hoping it is so I can have a reprieve from this maddening conversation.
He withdraws it from the inner pocket of his suit jacket. After glancing at the screen briefly, he shuts it off. "Nothing is more important than this."
"What do you want from me, Gabe?”
“I want you. That’s the only thing I know.”
“You tell me we can't be together then you say we'll be friends. We have an amazing night but then you run away. I don't think you know what you want."
My head is spinning. Being with him feels like standing on the edge of a cliff. It’ll only take one strong wind to send me soaring and while I might enjoy the ride, I already know I can't survive the crash landing.
He sighs. "That was an asshole move, I admit. But something reminded me that I'm not good for you."
"So what changed?" My voice breaks and that’s the first time I see a hint of the real Gabe, my Gabe, in his face.
He cradles my face in his hands and smiles down at me gently. "I realized that I can’t stay away from you and I'm not noble enough to try anymore."
Chapter eleven
GABE
Sasha runs a hand over the fabric of my bedspread and looks over at me nervously. Convincing her to come home with me was the easy part. What to do with her now that she's here is an entirely different matter.
She affects me like no one else, that much has been apparent from the moment we met and it leaves me at a loss. It's crazy to think that I can suddenly turn into the kind of guy who deserves a girl like her but at the same time, I know I can't let her go.
For someone like me, who has always gotten through life with a mixture of bravado and manipulation, Sasha represents an irresistible lure. The one woman who can see through me. The one woman that makes me want to truly be myself with her. No manipulation. No lies.
She also represents my worst fear. That without my usual game, I won't be able to keep her with me.
I dial Luke's number again. It goes straight to voicemail. Maybe I should have gone to his place instead of coming home. But in the heat of the moment, all I wanted was to get Sasha on my turf.
She sits up straighter when I sit on the edge of the bed next to her. I don't think she could be any more jumpy and it's completely charming. As bubbly as she is¸ I would have never guessed she'd be this uncomfortable just by being in my bedroom.
"Did you get in touch with Luke?" She grabs the edge of the coverlet and scrunches it into a ball.
"Not yet. He's not the type to ignore me so he probably turned his phone off. I left a message with his mom at the bakery and she promised to tell him as soon as he shows up."
We both fall silent and there's no sound except for the shallow rasp of her breathing and the soft scratch of her nails as she yanks at the covers.
Part of me wants to tell her to relax but then I glance behind me at the bed. It's probably not a great idea for either of us to get too comfortable. If I don't get myself under control I'll have her on her back with her ankles by my ears and that's not why I brought her here. We're supposed to be talking. Figuring things out. I glance over at the neckline of her emerald green evening gown. It dips low enough for me to see the curves of her breasts and the rich color highlights the deep tone of her skin. Christ, we'd better talk fast.
"Hey Gabe, I thought you were going—"
The door to my room flies open and Zack walks in. When he catches sight of Sasha, he stops abruptly. For a moment he just stares at her. Then he says, "Oh … hey."
Sasha looks like she wants to die. "Hi, Zack."
I stand and grab Zack by the arm. My brother has a tendency to blurt out the first thing he's thinking and considering the situation, Sasha might run off if he says the wrong thing.
“I had to see you.”
“We had a great time and I don’t regret it. You’re the one who ran out the next morning. So I repeat, why are you here?”
He grabs my arm and pulls me closer, turning his back to the other people standing at the bar. “This entire week all I could think of was you. I came to see you this morning because I thought that would be enough. Just a quick visit to stop this … obsession. But it’s not enough.”
As he speaks, he's looking at me with this savage expression that I've never seen on him before. The intensity is almost too much to take. It's as if he's trying to soothe the beast within with the object of its torment.
“Nothing will ever be enough," he whispers.
I suck in a breath as our eyes meet and something tightens in my stomach. Just like that, it's back, the same powerful awareness of him that makes me want to claw his clothes off.
His words should soothe me. It should be a relief to hear that I’m not the only one who feels this pull, this overwhelming sense of losing control of who am I when he’s near but it only makes me feel worse.
Because in all the things he’s said, how he wants me and how he’s obsessed with me, nowhere in all of that speech did he say he wants to feel this way. The way he feels is like a disease that he’s trying to shake and for me, it’s like a flame that I’m drawn to. A flame that warms me, thrills me and makes me long to get burned.
Suddenly he jerks back and pats his pocket. When he moves his hand, I can hear his phone vibrating. After several rings it stops and then immediately starts again.
"Something important?" Part of me is hoping it is so I can have a reprieve from this maddening conversation.
He withdraws it from the inner pocket of his suit jacket. After glancing at the screen briefly, he shuts it off. "Nothing is more important than this."
"What do you want from me, Gabe?”
“I want you. That’s the only thing I know.”
“You tell me we can't be together then you say we'll be friends. We have an amazing night but then you run away. I don't think you know what you want."
My head is spinning. Being with him feels like standing on the edge of a cliff. It’ll only take one strong wind to send me soaring and while I might enjoy the ride, I already know I can't survive the crash landing.
He sighs. "That was an asshole move, I admit. But something reminded me that I'm not good for you."
"So what changed?" My voice breaks and that’s the first time I see a hint of the real Gabe, my Gabe, in his face.
He cradles my face in his hands and smiles down at me gently. "I realized that I can’t stay away from you and I'm not noble enough to try anymore."
Chapter eleven
GABE
Sasha runs a hand over the fabric of my bedspread and looks over at me nervously. Convincing her to come home with me was the easy part. What to do with her now that she's here is an entirely different matter.
She affects me like no one else, that much has been apparent from the moment we met and it leaves me at a loss. It's crazy to think that I can suddenly turn into the kind of guy who deserves a girl like her but at the same time, I know I can't let her go.
For someone like me, who has always gotten through life with a mixture of bravado and manipulation, Sasha represents an irresistible lure. The one woman who can see through me. The one woman that makes me want to truly be myself with her. No manipulation. No lies.
She also represents my worst fear. That without my usual game, I won't be able to keep her with me.
I dial Luke's number again. It goes straight to voicemail. Maybe I should have gone to his place instead of coming home. But in the heat of the moment, all I wanted was to get Sasha on my turf.
She sits up straighter when I sit on the edge of the bed next to her. I don't think she could be any more jumpy and it's completely charming. As bubbly as she is¸ I would have never guessed she'd be this uncomfortable just by being in my bedroom.
"Did you get in touch with Luke?" She grabs the edge of the coverlet and scrunches it into a ball.
"Not yet. He's not the type to ignore me so he probably turned his phone off. I left a message with his mom at the bakery and she promised to tell him as soon as he shows up."
We both fall silent and there's no sound except for the shallow rasp of her breathing and the soft scratch of her nails as she yanks at the covers.
Part of me wants to tell her to relax but then I glance behind me at the bed. It's probably not a great idea for either of us to get too comfortable. If I don't get myself under control I'll have her on her back with her ankles by my ears and that's not why I brought her here. We're supposed to be talking. Figuring things out. I glance over at the neckline of her emerald green evening gown. It dips low enough for me to see the curves of her breasts and the rich color highlights the deep tone of her skin. Christ, we'd better talk fast.
"Hey Gabe, I thought you were going—"
The door to my room flies open and Zack walks in. When he catches sight of Sasha, he stops abruptly. For a moment he just stares at her. Then he says, "Oh … hey."
Sasha looks like she wants to die. "Hi, Zack."
I stand and grab Zack by the arm. My brother has a tendency to blurt out the first thing he's thinking and considering the situation, Sasha might run off if he says the wrong thing.
