Gorgeous Chaos
Page 36
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Mo grabbed two more chairs and Olivia and Cam joined their table.
“Are you doing anything tonight?” Kiera asked after they finally flagged down a server and placed their drink order.
“Yeah.”
“What song are you going to do?” Mo asked.
“You’ll just have to wait and find out,” she spat.
Kiera looked at her friend. “Libby, don’t do anything that you’re going to regret later.” She nodded her head toward where Alexander sat at the bar, a drink in his hand, keeping his eyes trained on Olivia.
“I’m not saying I won’t regret it later, but I need him to understand how much his actions have fucked with my head.”
“What did he do?” Mo asked, his voice rising in anger as the current performer finished his song. Olivia turned her eyes back toward the stage, unable to answer Mo’s question just yet.
“Alright,” the M.C. said into the microphone. “Next up, ladies and gentleman, is an old fan favorite. Miss Olivia Adler! Or, I guess, the soon to be Mrs. Alexander Burnham. Get your butt up here.”
Olivia’s eyes went wide at the introduction, almost unable to get up from her seat.
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Cam whispered.
She took a deep breath. “No. I have to.” She slowly walked up to the stage and sat down at the baby grand piano, adjusting the chair and microphone stand.
“Hi, everyone.” Olivia looked out over the audience and found Alexander’s eyes. “I’m not going to talk much tonight. Just one quick song and I’m out of here. I just need to sing this to let someone know how much their inability to tell the truth has hurt me.”
A lone tear fell from her eye. “This is I Was Gonna Marry You by Tristan Prettyman.”
“WHAT?!” Alexander said loudly. Several people in the bar turned to look at him, including Kiera and Mo.
What the fuck? Kiera mouthed to Alexander as Olivia started to play the opening measures on the piano.
Alexander sat at the bar, listening to Olivia sing, trying to process the words coming out of her mouth. She looked like an empty shell sitting on that stage. There was only pain. And he caused that. Again.
Olivia knew the song was a bold choice, but she needed Alexander to feel her suffering…to know that locking away the secrets of her past destroyed her. And maybe he needed to think that she no longer wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She didn’t know if that was true, but maybe it could be. How could she still want to marry someone who had lied to her? That kept her true identity a secret from her? She had put her trust in him and he betrayed that. He held all the answers to the questions she had struggled with her entire life, and he kept them from her.
She almost didn’t care about knowing the truth anymore. Did it really matter? Maybe the last thing she needed to do was talk to Alexander and get answers. He always had an uncanny ability to make her understand why he did certain things. She would run back into his arms like she always did. But, this time, he hurt her far worse than he ever had before.
Alexander listened to Olivia sing, her sweet voice ringing through the bar as she played the gentle melody on the piano. He knew that he had lost her, not just in the lyrics she sang, but in the way she stared at him. She was gone. He still had so much he wanted to say to her. He just didn’t know if he could say the words she needed to hear, her father’s warning constantly ringing in his ears.
Olivia finished the last verse, her chin trembling as she thought how empty her life would be without Alexander in it. Tears streaming down her face, she shook her head as the final chord sounded through the bar, the audience remaining oddly silent. She stood up and her eyes met Alexander’s. She tore her gaze from his and looked down at her left hand, her breathing ragged from the heavy sobs overtaking her body. Grabbing the ring, she started to slide it off her finger, locking eyes with Alexander once more.
His chin quivered. “No. Please.” His deep voice echoed through the bar. “Olivia, love. I beg you.” He reached his hand toward her from across the large space, but his feet remained frozen in place.
The audience looked back and forth between Olivia and Alexander, watching the drama unfold.
“Please,” he begged once more. “I can’t lose you again.”
Olivia wanted to take that ring off. It felt as if it was scorching her skin, constantly reminding her that their entire relationship was based on deception. “I’m not sure I was ever yours to lose,” she whispered through her tears, staring at him as she slid her ring back into place, keeping it on. She bolted off the stage and ran to the table, grabbing her purse, not saying a word to anyone. Cam jumped up from his chair and followed her out of the bar.
She practically ran down the sidewalk, her sobs heavy, not caring how many people gave her strange looks. She entered the unlock code through her tear-stained eyes and got behind the wheel of her car, her cries making her entire body shake. She knew, at some point, she would take off the ring. She just wasn’t ready for that yet.
Seeing Alexander again made her entire body ache. She hated looking into those green eyes that she saw every night. It hurt that she wasn't worth the truth to him, and she wanted nothing more than to leave and never return to Boston. The city that once held so many fond memories, now only held heartache and pain at every turn.
She looked over the steering wheel, almost hoping to see Alexander come running out of the bar to talk to her. To tell her how sorry he was. To say that he was a fool for destroying their relationship. To promise that he would make it up to her. But that never happened so Olivia cried even harder.
Cam walked up to the driver’s side door and opened it, helping her out.
“Oh, Cam,” she cried into his chest, hugging him with all her strength as she trembled from her sobs.
“Come on, Libby. You’re in no condition to be driving.” He helped her over to the passenger side before getting behind the wheel and turning on the GPS, punching in Olivia’s address. During the short drive back to her house, the crying didn’t stop. It only got worse. Cam wondered if she would ever return from this, and what it would take to get her to bounce back.
As he held her that night after she finally drifted off to sleep, he pleaded with her, “Please, Libby. Come back to me.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CONSTANT
“LIBBY, YOU NEED TO talk about it,” Cam said in a feeble attempt to get Olivia to open up about what happened. “Especially considering the meltdown you had last night at Open Mic.” He walked from the kitchen to where she sat in her reading nook by the bay windows overlooking the street. “I can help you work through this, and not as a therapist.” He grasped her hands in his, kneeling in front of her. “As a friend, Libby. A friend who is so fucking worried about you right now.” His face was awash with concern.
“Are you doing anything tonight?” Kiera asked after they finally flagged down a server and placed their drink order.
“Yeah.”
“What song are you going to do?” Mo asked.
“You’ll just have to wait and find out,” she spat.
Kiera looked at her friend. “Libby, don’t do anything that you’re going to regret later.” She nodded her head toward where Alexander sat at the bar, a drink in his hand, keeping his eyes trained on Olivia.
“I’m not saying I won’t regret it later, but I need him to understand how much his actions have fucked with my head.”
“What did he do?” Mo asked, his voice rising in anger as the current performer finished his song. Olivia turned her eyes back toward the stage, unable to answer Mo’s question just yet.
“Alright,” the M.C. said into the microphone. “Next up, ladies and gentleman, is an old fan favorite. Miss Olivia Adler! Or, I guess, the soon to be Mrs. Alexander Burnham. Get your butt up here.”
Olivia’s eyes went wide at the introduction, almost unable to get up from her seat.
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Cam whispered.
She took a deep breath. “No. I have to.” She slowly walked up to the stage and sat down at the baby grand piano, adjusting the chair and microphone stand.
“Hi, everyone.” Olivia looked out over the audience and found Alexander’s eyes. “I’m not going to talk much tonight. Just one quick song and I’m out of here. I just need to sing this to let someone know how much their inability to tell the truth has hurt me.”
A lone tear fell from her eye. “This is I Was Gonna Marry You by Tristan Prettyman.”
“WHAT?!” Alexander said loudly. Several people in the bar turned to look at him, including Kiera and Mo.
What the fuck? Kiera mouthed to Alexander as Olivia started to play the opening measures on the piano.
Alexander sat at the bar, listening to Olivia sing, trying to process the words coming out of her mouth. She looked like an empty shell sitting on that stage. There was only pain. And he caused that. Again.
Olivia knew the song was a bold choice, but she needed Alexander to feel her suffering…to know that locking away the secrets of her past destroyed her. And maybe he needed to think that she no longer wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She didn’t know if that was true, but maybe it could be. How could she still want to marry someone who had lied to her? That kept her true identity a secret from her? She had put her trust in him and he betrayed that. He held all the answers to the questions she had struggled with her entire life, and he kept them from her.
She almost didn’t care about knowing the truth anymore. Did it really matter? Maybe the last thing she needed to do was talk to Alexander and get answers. He always had an uncanny ability to make her understand why he did certain things. She would run back into his arms like she always did. But, this time, he hurt her far worse than he ever had before.
Alexander listened to Olivia sing, her sweet voice ringing through the bar as she played the gentle melody on the piano. He knew that he had lost her, not just in the lyrics she sang, but in the way she stared at him. She was gone. He still had so much he wanted to say to her. He just didn’t know if he could say the words she needed to hear, her father’s warning constantly ringing in his ears.
Olivia finished the last verse, her chin trembling as she thought how empty her life would be without Alexander in it. Tears streaming down her face, she shook her head as the final chord sounded through the bar, the audience remaining oddly silent. She stood up and her eyes met Alexander’s. She tore her gaze from his and looked down at her left hand, her breathing ragged from the heavy sobs overtaking her body. Grabbing the ring, she started to slide it off her finger, locking eyes with Alexander once more.
His chin quivered. “No. Please.” His deep voice echoed through the bar. “Olivia, love. I beg you.” He reached his hand toward her from across the large space, but his feet remained frozen in place.
The audience looked back and forth between Olivia and Alexander, watching the drama unfold.
“Please,” he begged once more. “I can’t lose you again.”
Olivia wanted to take that ring off. It felt as if it was scorching her skin, constantly reminding her that their entire relationship was based on deception. “I’m not sure I was ever yours to lose,” she whispered through her tears, staring at him as she slid her ring back into place, keeping it on. She bolted off the stage and ran to the table, grabbing her purse, not saying a word to anyone. Cam jumped up from his chair and followed her out of the bar.
She practically ran down the sidewalk, her sobs heavy, not caring how many people gave her strange looks. She entered the unlock code through her tear-stained eyes and got behind the wheel of her car, her cries making her entire body shake. She knew, at some point, she would take off the ring. She just wasn’t ready for that yet.
Seeing Alexander again made her entire body ache. She hated looking into those green eyes that she saw every night. It hurt that she wasn't worth the truth to him, and she wanted nothing more than to leave and never return to Boston. The city that once held so many fond memories, now only held heartache and pain at every turn.
She looked over the steering wheel, almost hoping to see Alexander come running out of the bar to talk to her. To tell her how sorry he was. To say that he was a fool for destroying their relationship. To promise that he would make it up to her. But that never happened so Olivia cried even harder.
Cam walked up to the driver’s side door and opened it, helping her out.
“Oh, Cam,” she cried into his chest, hugging him with all her strength as she trembled from her sobs.
“Come on, Libby. You’re in no condition to be driving.” He helped her over to the passenger side before getting behind the wheel and turning on the GPS, punching in Olivia’s address. During the short drive back to her house, the crying didn’t stop. It only got worse. Cam wondered if she would ever return from this, and what it would take to get her to bounce back.
As he held her that night after she finally drifted off to sleep, he pleaded with her, “Please, Libby. Come back to me.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CONSTANT
“LIBBY, YOU NEED TO talk about it,” Cam said in a feeble attempt to get Olivia to open up about what happened. “Especially considering the meltdown you had last night at Open Mic.” He walked from the kitchen to where she sat in her reading nook by the bay windows overlooking the street. “I can help you work through this, and not as a therapist.” He grasped her hands in his, kneeling in front of her. “As a friend, Libby. A friend who is so fucking worried about you right now.” His face was awash with concern.
