Gorgeous Chaos
Page 38
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“I should be so angry with you. And I am, Alex. I’m so furious with you. I’m sitting here questioning everyone in my life. I don’t know what’s real and what’s not. I’ve been lied to my entire life. Hell, I don’t even know what my real name is.” She took a deep breath and put her hand up to the glass in front of her. “But through it all, through all the soul searching and all the questions, I’ve realized that the one thing I do know is that I need more time to figure everything out.”
Olivia heard Alexander let out a small cry. She locked eyes with the man sitting in the SUV, tears flowing freely from both their eyes. For the first time, she not only saw the Alexander she had gotten to know over the past several months, but she also saw the scared little boy who pulled her from the car when she was a young girl, saving her life. And she realized that he had continued to save her life on a daily basis. With everything going on, he was her constant…the one person she could depend on. The one person who had loved her throughout her entire life. Olivia dropped her voice, realizing that Alexander was family. The only family she had left. “I’ll never love anyone as much I love you, Alexander.”
“So you still love me?” he asked, his voice full of hope.
Olivia’s heart fell to the pit of her stomach. It had been nearly a week since she had heard his voice…his gentle voice that had told her how he had searched for her his entire life. The voice that was the calm in the storm of her life. Letting out a soft cry, she met his eyes through the glass. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.”
Alexander held the phone to his ear for a moment before realizing she had hung up. He looked at the window and met her tear-filled eyes. His face flashed red with anger when he saw Cam come up behind her and put his arms around her, leading her away from the window and toward the couch.
~~~~~~~~~~
“OKAY, ENOUGH OF THIS bullshit, Libby!” Cam exclaimed the following day as he worked at his laptop, watching her scroll through the Google image search results for Alexander. The gossip magazines had been speculating about a possible break-up for the past week and it was still a hot news story.
“Suck it, Cam,” she hissed, rolling her eyes.
“I’m not going to put up with it anymore. What is it going to take to get you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and talk to me? You’ve turned Kiera and Mo away every time they’ve come to check on you. They care about you and are worried. You’re wasting away again, and it’s not good for you, Libby. You need to talk to them about what’s going on. Let them in.”
“What do I say to them?”
“Tell them the truth. They’re your friends,” he replied, walking over to the couch and grabbing her iPad out of her hands, forcing her to talk to him.
“Yeah, but they’ll probably just say that I made everything up in my mind so I could push Alexander away. The last thing I was looking for was a reason to leave him. I was so looking forward to marrying him.” She furrowed her brow, the vein in her forehead popping like it always did when she was nervous.
“Libby, don’t underestimate your friends.” He grabbed her hands, savoring the feel of her soft flesh on his. “They’ll always be your biggest cheering section if they’re worth it. And if they give you trouble, I’ll be here for you, supporting you.” He dropped his gaze from hers, staring at her small hands enclosed in his. “Just like I always will.”
His eyes returned to hers, her breathing increasing as she listened to his affectionate words. The atmosphere in the room suddenly became heated. Cam could feel his heart rate pick up when he noticed Olivia’s expression change from one of anxiety to almost one of desire, her eyes flaming with lust. He leaned in slowly and gently brushed his lips against hers, softly at first as if asking if she was okay with it.
Olivia was unsure about how to react. She had always found Cam attractive and, for the past week, he was the only one she felt that she could depend on. But she knew his feelings for her were stronger than hers were. She didn’t want to lead him on, but it felt so good to be kissed and loved by someone. Getting lost in the moment, she closed her eyes and deepened the kiss, pulling Cam on top of her as their tongues tangled. Olivia wrapped her legs around his waist, reveling in the feeling of closeness she had missed the past week that she had been away from Alexander.
Snapping back to reality, Cam pulled out of the kiss, looking down at Olivia.
“Don’t stop. Please,” she begged.
“Libby…” He sat back up, running his hands through his hair. “We shouldn’t…”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking into his eyes. “Oh, Cam,” she exhaled, realizing what she was about to do and how much she would have regretted it afterwards. “You’re right. I wish I could love you. I really do. You’d be so easy to love.”
He sighed, shaking his head. “You can’t say stuff like that to me, Libby. I wish you could love me, too, but I know that’ll never happen.” He was starting to think that he needed to get out of Boston before he became so attached to Olivia that he would never get over her.
“Well, I guess I’m going to talk to Kiera and Mo,” she said, bringing Cam back from his thoughts.
Smiling, he handed Olivia her phone. “Invite them over.”
“Fine,” she huffed.
~~~~~~~~~~
“WHAT THE FUCKITY-FUCK, LIBBY?” Kiera asked when Olivia answered the door a few hours later.
“Nice to see you, too, Kiera.” She stepped back and allowed Kiera and Mo inside. “You both remember Cam?”
“He’s still here? Are you telling me that you left Alexander for Cam? I knew there was a reason he was with you at Open Mic!” Kiera fumed before turning to Cam. “What the fuck are you thinking? I know you have a thing for her, but she was supposed to get married!”
“KIERA!” Olivia yelled, everyone turning toward her. “Enough! Please,” she begged, lowering her voice. “It’s not what you think. I needed Cam and he came to help me work through some things. If you’ll please stow your pitchfork, I’d like to tell you both what’s been going on.”
“Fine,” Kiera said, flopping on the couch. She turned her eyes up to meet Cam's. “But I’m keeping my eyes on you, mister!”
Cam laughed and took a seat next to Olivia, grabbing her hand in a show of support. She smiled at him before proceeding to tell Mo and Kiera the story that Cam had heard so many times.
Olivia heard Alexander let out a small cry. She locked eyes with the man sitting in the SUV, tears flowing freely from both their eyes. For the first time, she not only saw the Alexander she had gotten to know over the past several months, but she also saw the scared little boy who pulled her from the car when she was a young girl, saving her life. And she realized that he had continued to save her life on a daily basis. With everything going on, he was her constant…the one person she could depend on. The one person who had loved her throughout her entire life. Olivia dropped her voice, realizing that Alexander was family. The only family she had left. “I’ll never love anyone as much I love you, Alexander.”
“So you still love me?” he asked, his voice full of hope.
Olivia’s heart fell to the pit of her stomach. It had been nearly a week since she had heard his voice…his gentle voice that had told her how he had searched for her his entire life. The voice that was the calm in the storm of her life. Letting out a soft cry, she met his eyes through the glass. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.”
Alexander held the phone to his ear for a moment before realizing she had hung up. He looked at the window and met her tear-filled eyes. His face flashed red with anger when he saw Cam come up behind her and put his arms around her, leading her away from the window and toward the couch.
~~~~~~~~~~
“OKAY, ENOUGH OF THIS bullshit, Libby!” Cam exclaimed the following day as he worked at his laptop, watching her scroll through the Google image search results for Alexander. The gossip magazines had been speculating about a possible break-up for the past week and it was still a hot news story.
“Suck it, Cam,” she hissed, rolling her eyes.
“I’m not going to put up with it anymore. What is it going to take to get you to stop feeling sorry for yourself and talk to me? You’ve turned Kiera and Mo away every time they’ve come to check on you. They care about you and are worried. You’re wasting away again, and it’s not good for you, Libby. You need to talk to them about what’s going on. Let them in.”
“What do I say to them?”
“Tell them the truth. They’re your friends,” he replied, walking over to the couch and grabbing her iPad out of her hands, forcing her to talk to him.
“Yeah, but they’ll probably just say that I made everything up in my mind so I could push Alexander away. The last thing I was looking for was a reason to leave him. I was so looking forward to marrying him.” She furrowed her brow, the vein in her forehead popping like it always did when she was nervous.
“Libby, don’t underestimate your friends.” He grabbed her hands, savoring the feel of her soft flesh on his. “They’ll always be your biggest cheering section if they’re worth it. And if they give you trouble, I’ll be here for you, supporting you.” He dropped his gaze from hers, staring at her small hands enclosed in his. “Just like I always will.”
His eyes returned to hers, her breathing increasing as she listened to his affectionate words. The atmosphere in the room suddenly became heated. Cam could feel his heart rate pick up when he noticed Olivia’s expression change from one of anxiety to almost one of desire, her eyes flaming with lust. He leaned in slowly and gently brushed his lips against hers, softly at first as if asking if she was okay with it.
Olivia was unsure about how to react. She had always found Cam attractive and, for the past week, he was the only one she felt that she could depend on. But she knew his feelings for her were stronger than hers were. She didn’t want to lead him on, but it felt so good to be kissed and loved by someone. Getting lost in the moment, she closed her eyes and deepened the kiss, pulling Cam on top of her as their tongues tangled. Olivia wrapped her legs around his waist, reveling in the feeling of closeness she had missed the past week that she had been away from Alexander.
Snapping back to reality, Cam pulled out of the kiss, looking down at Olivia.
“Don’t stop. Please,” she begged.
“Libby…” He sat back up, running his hands through his hair. “We shouldn’t…”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking into his eyes. “Oh, Cam,” she exhaled, realizing what she was about to do and how much she would have regretted it afterwards. “You’re right. I wish I could love you. I really do. You’d be so easy to love.”
He sighed, shaking his head. “You can’t say stuff like that to me, Libby. I wish you could love me, too, but I know that’ll never happen.” He was starting to think that he needed to get out of Boston before he became so attached to Olivia that he would never get over her.
“Well, I guess I’m going to talk to Kiera and Mo,” she said, bringing Cam back from his thoughts.
Smiling, he handed Olivia her phone. “Invite them over.”
“Fine,” she huffed.
~~~~~~~~~~
“WHAT THE FUCKITY-FUCK, LIBBY?” Kiera asked when Olivia answered the door a few hours later.
“Nice to see you, too, Kiera.” She stepped back and allowed Kiera and Mo inside. “You both remember Cam?”
“He’s still here? Are you telling me that you left Alexander for Cam? I knew there was a reason he was with you at Open Mic!” Kiera fumed before turning to Cam. “What the fuck are you thinking? I know you have a thing for her, but she was supposed to get married!”
“KIERA!” Olivia yelled, everyone turning toward her. “Enough! Please,” she begged, lowering her voice. “It’s not what you think. I needed Cam and he came to help me work through some things. If you’ll please stow your pitchfork, I’d like to tell you both what’s been going on.”
“Fine,” Kiera said, flopping on the couch. She turned her eyes up to meet Cam's. “But I’m keeping my eyes on you, mister!”
Cam laughed and took a seat next to Olivia, grabbing her hand in a show of support. She smiled at him before proceeding to tell Mo and Kiera the story that Cam had heard so many times.
