“Oh, you’re wrong,” she insisted. “I could really tear his clothes off. The big question is—does he want to tear my clothes off? Because if he can be the gentleman in the light of day and a wild man when the lights go out, he’s absolutely what I want. I’m not stupid—I’m not going to get hooked up with a guy who doesn’t have any passion.”
“You have to promise me that,” Conner said.
“I promise, of course. But if he has all the traits I mentioned—the kindness and the gentleness and also passion, then he’s exactly what I want. Exactly. This isn’t the frontier—I don’t need some macho man who’s going to protect me from the grizzly. I need a dependable, loving, caring man who will come home from work every night.”
Conner heard it, but he didn’t believe it. That might be what Katie thought she needed—the comfortable old shoe. But it would leave her hungry and a little empty.
His baby sister was afraid to fall in love, love like she’d had with Charlie—hot, irrepressible, sizzling love that left her flushed and breathless. Because when you had that kind of love and lost it, the pain was just terrible.
But he said, “You’ll do the right thing, Katie. Just be sure to ask all the right questions of yourself before you get in too deep.”
“Of myself?”
“Yes,” Conner said. “Questions like, can you be happy with almost everything, or do you have to have it all? Because it’s hard to be honest about that.”
Leslie found the warm weather and lengthening of the days to be such a comfort, especially as she was missing Conner. When she got home from work, there was still enough daylight for her to enjoy the front porch. And if neighbors happened to walk by, she gave them a wave, sometimes they even stopped to chat for a while. Mrs. Hutchkins was an energetic walker; Mrs. Clemens was slow but earnest.
Nora walked over with her kids, and while Berry played on the grass with her little talking box that made all the animal sounds, Nora sat in the chair beside Leslie to give Fay her bottle.
“Let me,” Leslie said, reaching for the baby.
“Sure. She’s a cuddle bug, that one is.” Then she gave Berry a little nod. “And that one is so independent, sometimes it worries me.”
“Why?” Leslie asked. “She seems happy.”
“I think she is, at least most of the time. I had such a completely dysfunctional relationship with her father, I wonder if she’s scarred for life. Emotionally. At least he wasn’t around all that much, but still… I’m working through some of that now. Pastor Kincaid is a wonderful counselor.”
“Is he?”
“Truly,” Nora said. “I’m not a religious person at all, and when Mel Sheridan suggested I talk to him, I was very reluctant. I wasn’t sure I was brave enough to unburden my sorry soul to a minister.” Then she laughed a little. “One of the first things I learned about him is that he was a counselor before he was a minister.”
“Do you mind if I ask? How old are you, Nora?”
“Twenty-three. Only twenty-three. Going on forty.”
“Sounds like you’ve lived a lot.”
“Fast,” she said. “You look pretty comfortable with that baby,” she said with a smile.
“I wanted children,” Leslie confided. “I was married for eight years, divorced at thirty-one, and I wanted children. But my husband wasn’t interested in having kids and I let it go.” She shook her head and frowned. “I let a lot of things I wanted go. Now I’m trying to figure out why I’d do that.”
“What we do for men, huh?” Nora asked.
“Are you divorced, Nora?”
“Never married,” she said with a shake of her head. “I met this handsome, badass baseball player when I was nineteen and got pregnant not once but twice. He brought me up here and dumped me—Fay was only a few weeks old when he left. He had this idea he was going to get into the marijuana business, but he was too unreliable for even that and he took off. He left me right before this whole town was buried in the biggest snowstorm and the wind was blowing under my door! He took everything—the truck, even the refrigerator. I was scared to death and had no idea what I was going to do, and now? Now I feel like I should write him a thank-you note or something! Got my girls in a nice little town where I don’t have to be afraid of all the things I was afraid of before.”
“My God, how did you get by?”
“On the generosity of new friends who didn’t owe me a thing. Your boss sent someone over to my house to seal the doors and windows against the cold. Preacher’s wife brought over clothes and blankets and even an ice cooler for me to keep my milk and stuff. Adie told Pastor she thought I could use a Christmas food basket. It just spiraled from there. When the snow started to melt, Mel Sheridan gave me a part-time job in the clinic—she said I could bring my kids as long as I could manage them—that’s what she had to do when hers came along.” She reached over and gave her baby’s fat foot a squeeze. “I owe everything to the people in this town. I really don’t know what I would have done!”
“Where are you from?” Leslie asked.
“Berkeley. I lived there from the time I was ten—left three years ago when I was pregnant with Berry. Where are you from?” she asked.
“Grants Pass, Oregon. My boss, Paul Haggerty, worked there with his father and brothers for years, then came down here to open another arm of their construction company. I came down to work for him. Mainly to get away from my ex-husband.”
“He’s abusive?”
Leslie’s brows shot up. “Not at all!” she said too quickly. Then she realized why Nora might have made that assumption. “Let me rephrase that. No, Greg is not abusive in the usual sense of the word. He’s self-centered and egotistical and manipulative, but in the nicest possible way. He wants us to be best friends—even though he remarried right away and his new wife is pregnant. I just want him to go away!” She pulled the sweet little bundle closer. “I take it yours was…abusive?”
“He’s an addict. He was a minor league ballplayer when I met him. He had big dreams of the major league, but he tinkered with drugs. I tinkered, too—I have to own that. But I got pregnant and stopped the second I suspected. But Chad indulged. He got caught, of course, and was dropped from the league. Then he really bottomed out and pretty much took me down with him.”
“Do you know where he is?”
“No idea. Hopefully gone back to the Berkeley or Oakland area where he had all his old drug connections. I just need to never see him again. But you—you have a new man in your life,” she said.
“Conner,” Leslie confirmed. “He’s away—attending to some family business. It’s giving him a chance to visit his sister and nephews. He’s enjoying that a lot—he’s very close to them.”
“When will he be back?”
“I’m not exactly sure, but hopefully in a week or so. Maybe two weeks. He hasn’t seen his sister in a long time. But I talk to him every day.” She snuggled Fay a little closer. “You’re right about this one—a real snuggle bug.”
“I had no crib for her, so I barely put her down. The three of us sleep together, all cozy.”
“That sounds kind of wonderful,” Leslie said.
“Isn’t it amazing how some of your biggest blunders can end up being the best thing that ever happened to you?” Nora asked. And she gazed lovingly at little Berry, who sat on the grass between the flower beds, picking at the grass and making sounds that seemed to be a two-year-old’s version of singing.
“I have an idea,” Leslie said. “How would you and the girls like to ride into Fortuna on Saturday? Just wander around, maybe do a little shopping? Go to the big park?”
“That’s so sweet, but I don’t have car seats. Pastor Kincaid keeps his eye open for some to be donated to the church for one of their rummage sales. He says when and if that happens, he’ll snag them for me. Until then…”
“Well then, I think we should see if either Martha or Adie or both of them can babysit for a few hours,” Leslie suggested. “It might be good for you to have a break, get out of town for a while.”
“Maybe I could leave the girls with one of them during their nap time. I’ll ask…if you’re sure.”
“I’m sure,” Leslie said. “Not only would I enjoy the company, it would give you something fun to do. Let me know if you can rope those ladies into sitting for a while!”
Sixteen
Leslie found herself hoping that Nora would be outside with her children when she came home from work. She’d love to wave to her—three doors down the street—and invite her for a glass of tea. She’d offer to hold the baby for her bottle....
Instead, there was a shiny Caddy parked in front of her house, and she groaned.
“Crap,” she said aloud. “What now?”
She quickly considered her options. She could go to Jack’s and wait him out. She could drive out to Paul and Vanni’s house and get herself some backup. Fortuna was an option—she could just go to a restaurant, shop, kill time. But she wasn’t afraid of Greg—she was simply sick of him! So she pulled into her drive and got out of the car.
He wasn’t waiting in his car but on the porch, sitting in one of those canvas chairs, the collar of his white dress shirt open and his sleeves rolled up. And she didn’t recognize his expression. It was odd. Maybe sad. Possibly contrite. Neither was an expression that was familiar to her.
When she stepped away from her car, he stood. He put his hand up, palm toward her. “Don’t shoot me with anything. I just came to talk. Not argue, just talk.”
She approached the porch. “You’re not coming inside,” she said with as much authority as she could muster.
“Fine. Will you sit out here and talk to me for a few minutes?”
“How did you find my house?”
“I’ve been down here a couple of times before. It’s a little town, and I spotted your car in the drive. I also spotted a great big construction worker’s truck parked on the street. I finally decided I had to brave the new boyfriend if I wanted to talk to you.”
“You didn’t think approaching me at work again was a good idea?”
“Paul seemed kind of opposed to that notion the last time I ran into him,” Greg said.
“Right. He offered to beat the shit out of you if you didn’t just leave me alone.”
“I’m not going to hurt you, for God’s sake! Can’t you give me ten minutes?”
She sighed deeply. “Stay right there. I’m going to pour a glass of wine. Can I get you anything? Merlot? Glass of tea? A little hemlock?”
He winced. “Tea would be nice.”
She went up the step and onto the porch. She opened the door. “You come in this house and I’m going to shoot you. Do you understand?”
“Leslie…”
“I’m serious. I’m so bloody sick of you, I will shoot you if you get in my space.”
“Fine. I’ll be waiting right here.”
She locked the door behind her for good measure. After dropping her purse on the counter and pouring a glass of wine and a glass of tea, she went back outside. She handed him his tea and sat in the other chair. “I came down here to get away from you,” she said. “I’ve told you that a number of times. When are you going to hear me?”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I have heard you. I’m having a hard time letting go.”
“No kidding. But since you’re the one that ended our marriage and you have what you want, why not just enjoy it?”
“You have to promise me that,” Conner said.
“I promise, of course. But if he has all the traits I mentioned—the kindness and the gentleness and also passion, then he’s exactly what I want. Exactly. This isn’t the frontier—I don’t need some macho man who’s going to protect me from the grizzly. I need a dependable, loving, caring man who will come home from work every night.”
Conner heard it, but he didn’t believe it. That might be what Katie thought she needed—the comfortable old shoe. But it would leave her hungry and a little empty.
His baby sister was afraid to fall in love, love like she’d had with Charlie—hot, irrepressible, sizzling love that left her flushed and breathless. Because when you had that kind of love and lost it, the pain was just terrible.
But he said, “You’ll do the right thing, Katie. Just be sure to ask all the right questions of yourself before you get in too deep.”
“Of myself?”
“Yes,” Conner said. “Questions like, can you be happy with almost everything, or do you have to have it all? Because it’s hard to be honest about that.”
Leslie found the warm weather and lengthening of the days to be such a comfort, especially as she was missing Conner. When she got home from work, there was still enough daylight for her to enjoy the front porch. And if neighbors happened to walk by, she gave them a wave, sometimes they even stopped to chat for a while. Mrs. Hutchkins was an energetic walker; Mrs. Clemens was slow but earnest.
Nora walked over with her kids, and while Berry played on the grass with her little talking box that made all the animal sounds, Nora sat in the chair beside Leslie to give Fay her bottle.
“Let me,” Leslie said, reaching for the baby.
“Sure. She’s a cuddle bug, that one is.” Then she gave Berry a little nod. “And that one is so independent, sometimes it worries me.”
“Why?” Leslie asked. “She seems happy.”
“I think she is, at least most of the time. I had such a completely dysfunctional relationship with her father, I wonder if she’s scarred for life. Emotionally. At least he wasn’t around all that much, but still… I’m working through some of that now. Pastor Kincaid is a wonderful counselor.”
“Is he?”
“Truly,” Nora said. “I’m not a religious person at all, and when Mel Sheridan suggested I talk to him, I was very reluctant. I wasn’t sure I was brave enough to unburden my sorry soul to a minister.” Then she laughed a little. “One of the first things I learned about him is that he was a counselor before he was a minister.”
“Do you mind if I ask? How old are you, Nora?”
“Twenty-three. Only twenty-three. Going on forty.”
“Sounds like you’ve lived a lot.”
“Fast,” she said. “You look pretty comfortable with that baby,” she said with a smile.
“I wanted children,” Leslie confided. “I was married for eight years, divorced at thirty-one, and I wanted children. But my husband wasn’t interested in having kids and I let it go.” She shook her head and frowned. “I let a lot of things I wanted go. Now I’m trying to figure out why I’d do that.”
“What we do for men, huh?” Nora asked.
“Are you divorced, Nora?”
“Never married,” she said with a shake of her head. “I met this handsome, badass baseball player when I was nineteen and got pregnant not once but twice. He brought me up here and dumped me—Fay was only a few weeks old when he left. He had this idea he was going to get into the marijuana business, but he was too unreliable for even that and he took off. He left me right before this whole town was buried in the biggest snowstorm and the wind was blowing under my door! He took everything—the truck, even the refrigerator. I was scared to death and had no idea what I was going to do, and now? Now I feel like I should write him a thank-you note or something! Got my girls in a nice little town where I don’t have to be afraid of all the things I was afraid of before.”
“My God, how did you get by?”
“On the generosity of new friends who didn’t owe me a thing. Your boss sent someone over to my house to seal the doors and windows against the cold. Preacher’s wife brought over clothes and blankets and even an ice cooler for me to keep my milk and stuff. Adie told Pastor she thought I could use a Christmas food basket. It just spiraled from there. When the snow started to melt, Mel Sheridan gave me a part-time job in the clinic—she said I could bring my kids as long as I could manage them—that’s what she had to do when hers came along.” She reached over and gave her baby’s fat foot a squeeze. “I owe everything to the people in this town. I really don’t know what I would have done!”
“Where are you from?” Leslie asked.
“Berkeley. I lived there from the time I was ten—left three years ago when I was pregnant with Berry. Where are you from?” she asked.
“Grants Pass, Oregon. My boss, Paul Haggerty, worked there with his father and brothers for years, then came down here to open another arm of their construction company. I came down to work for him. Mainly to get away from my ex-husband.”
“He’s abusive?”
Leslie’s brows shot up. “Not at all!” she said too quickly. Then she realized why Nora might have made that assumption. “Let me rephrase that. No, Greg is not abusive in the usual sense of the word. He’s self-centered and egotistical and manipulative, but in the nicest possible way. He wants us to be best friends—even though he remarried right away and his new wife is pregnant. I just want him to go away!” She pulled the sweet little bundle closer. “I take it yours was…abusive?”
“He’s an addict. He was a minor league ballplayer when I met him. He had big dreams of the major league, but he tinkered with drugs. I tinkered, too—I have to own that. But I got pregnant and stopped the second I suspected. But Chad indulged. He got caught, of course, and was dropped from the league. Then he really bottomed out and pretty much took me down with him.”
“Do you know where he is?”
“No idea. Hopefully gone back to the Berkeley or Oakland area where he had all his old drug connections. I just need to never see him again. But you—you have a new man in your life,” she said.
“Conner,” Leslie confirmed. “He’s away—attending to some family business. It’s giving him a chance to visit his sister and nephews. He’s enjoying that a lot—he’s very close to them.”
“When will he be back?”
“I’m not exactly sure, but hopefully in a week or so. Maybe two weeks. He hasn’t seen his sister in a long time. But I talk to him every day.” She snuggled Fay a little closer. “You’re right about this one—a real snuggle bug.”
“I had no crib for her, so I barely put her down. The three of us sleep together, all cozy.”
“That sounds kind of wonderful,” Leslie said.
“Isn’t it amazing how some of your biggest blunders can end up being the best thing that ever happened to you?” Nora asked. And she gazed lovingly at little Berry, who sat on the grass between the flower beds, picking at the grass and making sounds that seemed to be a two-year-old’s version of singing.
“I have an idea,” Leslie said. “How would you and the girls like to ride into Fortuna on Saturday? Just wander around, maybe do a little shopping? Go to the big park?”
“That’s so sweet, but I don’t have car seats. Pastor Kincaid keeps his eye open for some to be donated to the church for one of their rummage sales. He says when and if that happens, he’ll snag them for me. Until then…”
“Well then, I think we should see if either Martha or Adie or both of them can babysit for a few hours,” Leslie suggested. “It might be good for you to have a break, get out of town for a while.”
“Maybe I could leave the girls with one of them during their nap time. I’ll ask…if you’re sure.”
“I’m sure,” Leslie said. “Not only would I enjoy the company, it would give you something fun to do. Let me know if you can rope those ladies into sitting for a while!”
Sixteen
Leslie found herself hoping that Nora would be outside with her children when she came home from work. She’d love to wave to her—three doors down the street—and invite her for a glass of tea. She’d offer to hold the baby for her bottle....
Instead, there was a shiny Caddy parked in front of her house, and she groaned.
“Crap,” she said aloud. “What now?”
She quickly considered her options. She could go to Jack’s and wait him out. She could drive out to Paul and Vanni’s house and get herself some backup. Fortuna was an option—she could just go to a restaurant, shop, kill time. But she wasn’t afraid of Greg—she was simply sick of him! So she pulled into her drive and got out of the car.
He wasn’t waiting in his car but on the porch, sitting in one of those canvas chairs, the collar of his white dress shirt open and his sleeves rolled up. And she didn’t recognize his expression. It was odd. Maybe sad. Possibly contrite. Neither was an expression that was familiar to her.
When she stepped away from her car, he stood. He put his hand up, palm toward her. “Don’t shoot me with anything. I just came to talk. Not argue, just talk.”
She approached the porch. “You’re not coming inside,” she said with as much authority as she could muster.
“Fine. Will you sit out here and talk to me for a few minutes?”
“How did you find my house?”
“I’ve been down here a couple of times before. It’s a little town, and I spotted your car in the drive. I also spotted a great big construction worker’s truck parked on the street. I finally decided I had to brave the new boyfriend if I wanted to talk to you.”
“You didn’t think approaching me at work again was a good idea?”
“Paul seemed kind of opposed to that notion the last time I ran into him,” Greg said.
“Right. He offered to beat the shit out of you if you didn’t just leave me alone.”
“I’m not going to hurt you, for God’s sake! Can’t you give me ten minutes?”
She sighed deeply. “Stay right there. I’m going to pour a glass of wine. Can I get you anything? Merlot? Glass of tea? A little hemlock?”
He winced. “Tea would be nice.”
She went up the step and onto the porch. She opened the door. “You come in this house and I’m going to shoot you. Do you understand?”
“Leslie…”
“I’m serious. I’m so bloody sick of you, I will shoot you if you get in my space.”
“Fine. I’ll be waiting right here.”
She locked the door behind her for good measure. After dropping her purse on the counter and pouring a glass of wine and a glass of tea, she went back outside. She handed him his tea and sat in the other chair. “I came down here to get away from you,” she said. “I’ve told you that a number of times. When are you going to hear me?”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I have heard you. I’m having a hard time letting go.”
“No kidding. But since you’re the one that ended our marriage and you have what you want, why not just enjoy it?”
