Jace didn’t see those marks, though, and I’m thankful for that. I have become a ninja at hiding them. I don’t want to share that part of myself with anyone. I want to forget what happened, and I’m sure no one would ever be able to comprehend how it all went down, or even what I did. No, that’s something that needs to stay locked down inside me.
But I already know that, and reiterating that doesn’t fix what is going on with Jace. Doesn’t help me figure out what I’m going to do. Do I just ride it out? Have fun? Friends with benefits, like he said? Can I do that? I just don’t know, because the way I feel right now is unbelievable. It’s like my heart is singing for him.
Like he’s my song.
I have to write.
Sitting down, even though I really need to shower, I reach for my guitar leaning against my desk. Glancing at the bed, I see that Mekena isn’t there. I wonder where she is and why I’m just now noticing she isn’t here. I am thinking entirely too hard about Jace, and I wish that made me stop.
It doesn’t, though.
Not even kind of.
He’s playing on repeat. Every touch, every word he spoke. The way he looked into my eyes and told me I was gorgeous. Everything. I can’t shake it, and why should I? I feel good. Great, even.
Shrugging my shoulders, I lift my guitar before I cross my legs and lay it across my lap. The words are practically begging to leave my body. Ready to pour out of me, so I quickly reach for my notebook and pen. The melody is there; I feel it. Soon I throw the pen back down and start strumming a soft little tune. It’s nothing I’ve ever played before, and it’s utterly beautiful. At least, I think so.
Pausing, I switch my computer on before turning on my audio recorder. Hitting record, I play the tune again, humming ever so lightly to the strings I play. Closing my eyes, I replay the tune over and over again, until finally, the words just fall from my lips.
I can feel him.
Still feel him.
All over me.
Inside of me.
A feeling.
Just a feeling.
Or is it more.
’Cause I can’t shake.
What I’m feeling.
These thoughts.
These feelings.
What am I supposed to do?
I don’t know.
But I’m obsessed with you.
Oh. Wow. I love that.
Hitting stop, I replay it, writing down everything I sang, and holy crap, I love it. I’m fucking awesome. Hitting play again, I listen while a wide grin spreads across my lips. I’ve never felt so free in my life. That’s what writing does to me. It takes me to a whole other universe, one where I am awesome and my lyrics, my melodies change lives. Or at least, my life. Moving my fingers down the strings, I start the next verse, and without realizing it, it’s three hours later and I have a full song.
A song about Jace.
The planes of his body, the way he makes me feel, and the fact I am totally and utterly obsessed with everything about him. I can still recall the dip between his pecs, and the way his bottom left ab is more prominent than his right. The way his arms basically wrapped around me like a python when he held me, and how his lips, even with the beer on them, felt like every single Ed Sheeran song I know and love.
Looking down at the song I haven’t named yet, all I see is Jace.
What does this mean? And how did this happen? How did I meet someone who captivates me to the point of inspiration? And what do I do with this? I have no clue, but before I can dwell on it much longer, the door flings open and Mekena is looking at me.
“Well, I guess it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know you got laid last night, considering you’re wearing Jace Sinclair’s hoodie.”
Looking down at the bright teal hoodie, I smile. It still smells like him. I don’t know the cologne, but I want to bathe in it, it smells so freaking good. The hoodie is huge and warm, kind of like Jace’s arms. Realizing that Mekena is waiting for an answer, I look up and shrug, a grin curving my lips.
“Yeah, I have nothing for ya.” I give her a wink and she laughs.
“Whatever. Where is my report?” she gushes, jumping on my bed and pinning me with a look. “You promised!”
Giggling, I look down, running my fingers along the strings of my guitar. “Big, big, and big.”
Soon, she is giggling so hard, her face turns red as she falls back onto my bed, covering her eyes. “Oh my God! I can’t believe you did it. He is so dreamy.”
Looking down at the strings, I move my finger along each one slowly as thoughts of him flood every single one of my senses. “He is.”
“So it was great?” She shoots up, her eyes trained on me, waiting for the answer.
“Oh God, yes.” A shiver runs through me and I can’t wipe the grin off my face. “I can’t remember the last time I felt like this.”
I can. But I’m not telling Mekena that lot of crazy.
“Argh! I’m so jealous,” she yells, falling back on my bed, letting her legs and arms fall once more as she pouts. “I got drunk and threw up on Markus’s feet. Skylar took me back to her apartment. Failure!”
Holding in my laughter, I say, “That blows.”
“Yeah,” she agrees, sitting up and shaking her head. “Unlike you, who gets laid by one of the hottest dudes on campus.”
My cheeks turn red as I lay my guitar against my desk. But before I can even move to go toward the shower, she pins me with a look. “So what are you gonna do? Did you guys, like, exchange numbers? Are you gonna hook up again?”
Standing up, I pull his hoodie off before throwing it on the bed and holding my hands up. “Whoa, too many questions. Getting whiplash here.”
“Avery!”
Grinning, I shrug. “I don’t know. Really,” I add when her lips press together in a “come on” kind of way.
“Was he into it? Me and Skylar thought he was. The way he was looking was intense. Sky said she’s only seen that look when Jude met Claire. And you see how that went down.”
Biting into my lip, I turn to my closet before taking off my shirt and bra, reaching for my towel to wrap around myself. I don’t know much about Jace’s brother and his wife, but apparently they were the epitome of love, given the way everyone talks about them. Knowing they saw how he was looking at me kind of solidifies how I feel. Like it really was as real as I hoped it was, and that leaves me breathless.
But I already know that, and reiterating that doesn’t fix what is going on with Jace. Doesn’t help me figure out what I’m going to do. Do I just ride it out? Have fun? Friends with benefits, like he said? Can I do that? I just don’t know, because the way I feel right now is unbelievable. It’s like my heart is singing for him.
Like he’s my song.
I have to write.
Sitting down, even though I really need to shower, I reach for my guitar leaning against my desk. Glancing at the bed, I see that Mekena isn’t there. I wonder where she is and why I’m just now noticing she isn’t here. I am thinking entirely too hard about Jace, and I wish that made me stop.
It doesn’t, though.
Not even kind of.
He’s playing on repeat. Every touch, every word he spoke. The way he looked into my eyes and told me I was gorgeous. Everything. I can’t shake it, and why should I? I feel good. Great, even.
Shrugging my shoulders, I lift my guitar before I cross my legs and lay it across my lap. The words are practically begging to leave my body. Ready to pour out of me, so I quickly reach for my notebook and pen. The melody is there; I feel it. Soon I throw the pen back down and start strumming a soft little tune. It’s nothing I’ve ever played before, and it’s utterly beautiful. At least, I think so.
Pausing, I switch my computer on before turning on my audio recorder. Hitting record, I play the tune again, humming ever so lightly to the strings I play. Closing my eyes, I replay the tune over and over again, until finally, the words just fall from my lips.
I can feel him.
Still feel him.
All over me.
Inside of me.
A feeling.
Just a feeling.
Or is it more.
’Cause I can’t shake.
What I’m feeling.
These thoughts.
These feelings.
What am I supposed to do?
I don’t know.
But I’m obsessed with you.
Oh. Wow. I love that.
Hitting stop, I replay it, writing down everything I sang, and holy crap, I love it. I’m fucking awesome. Hitting play again, I listen while a wide grin spreads across my lips. I’ve never felt so free in my life. That’s what writing does to me. It takes me to a whole other universe, one where I am awesome and my lyrics, my melodies change lives. Or at least, my life. Moving my fingers down the strings, I start the next verse, and without realizing it, it’s three hours later and I have a full song.
A song about Jace.
The planes of his body, the way he makes me feel, and the fact I am totally and utterly obsessed with everything about him. I can still recall the dip between his pecs, and the way his bottom left ab is more prominent than his right. The way his arms basically wrapped around me like a python when he held me, and how his lips, even with the beer on them, felt like every single Ed Sheeran song I know and love.
Looking down at the song I haven’t named yet, all I see is Jace.
What does this mean? And how did this happen? How did I meet someone who captivates me to the point of inspiration? And what do I do with this? I have no clue, but before I can dwell on it much longer, the door flings open and Mekena is looking at me.
“Well, I guess it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know you got laid last night, considering you’re wearing Jace Sinclair’s hoodie.”
Looking down at the bright teal hoodie, I smile. It still smells like him. I don’t know the cologne, but I want to bathe in it, it smells so freaking good. The hoodie is huge and warm, kind of like Jace’s arms. Realizing that Mekena is waiting for an answer, I look up and shrug, a grin curving my lips.
“Yeah, I have nothing for ya.” I give her a wink and she laughs.
“Whatever. Where is my report?” she gushes, jumping on my bed and pinning me with a look. “You promised!”
Giggling, I look down, running my fingers along the strings of my guitar. “Big, big, and big.”
Soon, she is giggling so hard, her face turns red as she falls back onto my bed, covering her eyes. “Oh my God! I can’t believe you did it. He is so dreamy.”
Looking down at the strings, I move my finger along each one slowly as thoughts of him flood every single one of my senses. “He is.”
“So it was great?” She shoots up, her eyes trained on me, waiting for the answer.
“Oh God, yes.” A shiver runs through me and I can’t wipe the grin off my face. “I can’t remember the last time I felt like this.”
I can. But I’m not telling Mekena that lot of crazy.
“Argh! I’m so jealous,” she yells, falling back on my bed, letting her legs and arms fall once more as she pouts. “I got drunk and threw up on Markus’s feet. Skylar took me back to her apartment. Failure!”
Holding in my laughter, I say, “That blows.”
“Yeah,” she agrees, sitting up and shaking her head. “Unlike you, who gets laid by one of the hottest dudes on campus.”
My cheeks turn red as I lay my guitar against my desk. But before I can even move to go toward the shower, she pins me with a look. “So what are you gonna do? Did you guys, like, exchange numbers? Are you gonna hook up again?”
Standing up, I pull his hoodie off before throwing it on the bed and holding my hands up. “Whoa, too many questions. Getting whiplash here.”
“Avery!”
Grinning, I shrug. “I don’t know. Really,” I add when her lips press together in a “come on” kind of way.
“Was he into it? Me and Skylar thought he was. The way he was looking was intense. Sky said she’s only seen that look when Jude met Claire. And you see how that went down.”
Biting into my lip, I turn to my closet before taking off my shirt and bra, reaching for my towel to wrap around myself. I don’t know much about Jace’s brother and his wife, but apparently they were the epitome of love, given the way everyone talks about them. Knowing they saw how he was looking at me kind of solidifies how I feel. Like it really was as real as I hoped it was, and that leaves me breathless.
