When I move to turn the shower on, my reflection catches my attention, and soon, I’m turning to look at my naked body.
I used to love my body.
But I don’t now.
Well, I love almost all my body, except for my thighs.
And not for a girlie stupid reason.
I wish it were cellulite that covered my thighs.
That could be acceptable, even normal, but I don’t have that.
No, I have the scars of all the pain caused by him.
Scars made by me.
“So you don’t know her last name?”
Markus looks at me dubiously as I search Skylar’s friends list for my little nightmate. It has become my mission to find out everything I can about Avery. I know, stalker alert, but it’s like I’m infatuated with her. I have to know everything. I wish I had gotten her number earlier, but I was still recovering from the kiss and the overwhelming feelings that I did nothing but stare at her.
I’m paying for that now.
“Obviously not,” I answer, getting frustrated since Skylar has like a million friends. “I didn’t ask that when I had my tongue down her throat.”
“And you didn’t get her number?”
I shoot him a deadpan look. “No, man.”
“Wow, your game is nonexistent.”
“Fuck off,” I yell, throwing the nearest thing I can grab at him. To his dismay, it’s the Xbox controller.
“Ow! Asshole.”
“Shut up, then,” I say simply, still scrolling through Skylar’s friends. “Jesus, she has a billion friends, I swear.”
“Who, Skylar?” he asks, trying to see my phone.
“Yeah.”
“I don’t think she’s friends with Skylar. She’s roommates with her sister. Missy? Michelle?”
Dropping my phone to my lap, I think for a second. It was the cute chick with them last night, not that I remember much about her since I was zeroed in on Avery. What was her name? “Madison?”
“No. Mary?”
“Really, dude? No. McKenzie?”
“Mekena!” Markus yells and I nod.
“That’s right,” I say, typing in her name and going to her page.
“She threw up on my shoes last night.”
Scrunching my face, I look up. “Gross.”
“Yeah, it was. She’s cute, though.”
“Looks exactly like Skylar, just a smaller version.”
He shrugs. “I might try to hit it.”
I shrug back. “You do you.”
“You gonna hit Skylar?”
I roll my eyes. “No, dude. I got my eyes on someone else.”
“What?”
I look up. “What?”
“You’re sprung on that girl? Seriously?”
I look away. “Maybe.”
“What the hell? What happened to playing the field?”
I shake my head before looking back up at him. “I can’t. Not after what that girl did to me last night. You just don’t understand, Markus, really. Have you ever been with someone who just fits with you? I mean, everything was just right and I can’t shake that. I need more.”
“Do you know how pitiful you sound right now?”
“I don’t care. You don’t understand. It was just right. Perfect, even.”
When he laughs, I ignore him, searching Mekena’s friends list for her. I don’t care what he thinks because this is different. This is real, and I can’t stop thinking about her. About what we did last night. I tried to sleep, I did. And Lord knows I need it before this afternoon’s skate, but I couldn’t even catch a wink. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her. I’m not sure if it’s lust or infatuation, but Avery No Last Name has me wrapped around her finger, and I’m counting the seconds until the coffee shop thing tonight.
“Just to let you know, you sound like Jayden. I thought your goal was Jude before Claire?”
“It was, but I guess I’m Jayden ’cause I can’t shake her.”
“Have you even tried?”
Giving him a look, I nod. “Yes.”
“You have not,” he accuses. “It’s only been a few hours.”
“I know, but this is different.”
“Different?”
“Yes! All I can do is think of her.”
“You’re a puss, dude.” He shakes his head as he leans back against his pillows.
I know this is a fight that is pointless, but I feel the need to prove my point. “So, if you met some girl, someone who just felt right and natural, you’d pass ’em up?”
He doesn’t even hesitate. “Yes, ’cause I don’t have time to get hung up on some girl. We have shit to do this year, Jace.”
“Sure, but if Jayden and Jude can do everything I am doing while being in a relationship, so can I,” I say and his eyes widen.
“A relationship?! Who the hell are you?”
Has he not been listening to me? “Dude, it was life-altering last night. Really. I feel it…in my soul.”
“What in the world…” he yells, his face in complete shock. “Did she have a platinum pussy or something?”
I glare. “Not cool, dude.”
He looks offended. “Not cool? You know what’s not cool? The fact that yesterday you didn’t even want to be like your brothers. You’ve completely changed the game. And excuse me for not being able to keep up.”
And he’s right, I know this, but I can’t shake her. I’ve been thinking about it all morning. Yeah, a girlfriend was the last thing I wanted, but then I met her and all that changed. I don’t want anyone else but her, and I won’t stop until she’s mine. I don’t understand this intense need to make her mine, but I don’t think I can fight it. Or even if I’m supposed to fight it.
All I know is that I’m petrified I’ll never feel again what I felt when I was with her.
And that’s unacceptable.
“Dude, don’t you think it’s a little weird you’re so caught up on her? Maybe you should take a step back.”
“No,” I say simply.
He lets out a breath. “You’re insane.”
“And you’re my best friend, so what does that say about you?” I ask, sending him a grin before finally coming upon Avery’s name. “Ha! Avery Rose.”
I used to love my body.
But I don’t now.
Well, I love almost all my body, except for my thighs.
And not for a girlie stupid reason.
I wish it were cellulite that covered my thighs.
That could be acceptable, even normal, but I don’t have that.
No, I have the scars of all the pain caused by him.
Scars made by me.
“So you don’t know her last name?”
Markus looks at me dubiously as I search Skylar’s friends list for my little nightmate. It has become my mission to find out everything I can about Avery. I know, stalker alert, but it’s like I’m infatuated with her. I have to know everything. I wish I had gotten her number earlier, but I was still recovering from the kiss and the overwhelming feelings that I did nothing but stare at her.
I’m paying for that now.
“Obviously not,” I answer, getting frustrated since Skylar has like a million friends. “I didn’t ask that when I had my tongue down her throat.”
“And you didn’t get her number?”
I shoot him a deadpan look. “No, man.”
“Wow, your game is nonexistent.”
“Fuck off,” I yell, throwing the nearest thing I can grab at him. To his dismay, it’s the Xbox controller.
“Ow! Asshole.”
“Shut up, then,” I say simply, still scrolling through Skylar’s friends. “Jesus, she has a billion friends, I swear.”
“Who, Skylar?” he asks, trying to see my phone.
“Yeah.”
“I don’t think she’s friends with Skylar. She’s roommates with her sister. Missy? Michelle?”
Dropping my phone to my lap, I think for a second. It was the cute chick with them last night, not that I remember much about her since I was zeroed in on Avery. What was her name? “Madison?”
“No. Mary?”
“Really, dude? No. McKenzie?”
“Mekena!” Markus yells and I nod.
“That’s right,” I say, typing in her name and going to her page.
“She threw up on my shoes last night.”
Scrunching my face, I look up. “Gross.”
“Yeah, it was. She’s cute, though.”
“Looks exactly like Skylar, just a smaller version.”
He shrugs. “I might try to hit it.”
I shrug back. “You do you.”
“You gonna hit Skylar?”
I roll my eyes. “No, dude. I got my eyes on someone else.”
“What?”
I look up. “What?”
“You’re sprung on that girl? Seriously?”
I look away. “Maybe.”
“What the hell? What happened to playing the field?”
I shake my head before looking back up at him. “I can’t. Not after what that girl did to me last night. You just don’t understand, Markus, really. Have you ever been with someone who just fits with you? I mean, everything was just right and I can’t shake that. I need more.”
“Do you know how pitiful you sound right now?”
“I don’t care. You don’t understand. It was just right. Perfect, even.”
When he laughs, I ignore him, searching Mekena’s friends list for her. I don’t care what he thinks because this is different. This is real, and I can’t stop thinking about her. About what we did last night. I tried to sleep, I did. And Lord knows I need it before this afternoon’s skate, but I couldn’t even catch a wink. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her. I’m not sure if it’s lust or infatuation, but Avery No Last Name has me wrapped around her finger, and I’m counting the seconds until the coffee shop thing tonight.
“Just to let you know, you sound like Jayden. I thought your goal was Jude before Claire?”
“It was, but I guess I’m Jayden ’cause I can’t shake her.”
“Have you even tried?”
Giving him a look, I nod. “Yes.”
“You have not,” he accuses. “It’s only been a few hours.”
“I know, but this is different.”
“Different?”
“Yes! All I can do is think of her.”
“You’re a puss, dude.” He shakes his head as he leans back against his pillows.
I know this is a fight that is pointless, but I feel the need to prove my point. “So, if you met some girl, someone who just felt right and natural, you’d pass ’em up?”
He doesn’t even hesitate. “Yes, ’cause I don’t have time to get hung up on some girl. We have shit to do this year, Jace.”
“Sure, but if Jayden and Jude can do everything I am doing while being in a relationship, so can I,” I say and his eyes widen.
“A relationship?! Who the hell are you?”
Has he not been listening to me? “Dude, it was life-altering last night. Really. I feel it…in my soul.”
“What in the world…” he yells, his face in complete shock. “Did she have a platinum pussy or something?”
I glare. “Not cool, dude.”
He looks offended. “Not cool? You know what’s not cool? The fact that yesterday you didn’t even want to be like your brothers. You’ve completely changed the game. And excuse me for not being able to keep up.”
And he’s right, I know this, but I can’t shake her. I’ve been thinking about it all morning. Yeah, a girlfriend was the last thing I wanted, but then I met her and all that changed. I don’t want anyone else but her, and I won’t stop until she’s mine. I don’t understand this intense need to make her mine, but I don’t think I can fight it. Or even if I’m supposed to fight it.
All I know is that I’m petrified I’ll never feel again what I felt when I was with her.
And that’s unacceptable.
“Dude, don’t you think it’s a little weird you’re so caught up on her? Maybe you should take a step back.”
“No,” I say simply.
He lets out a breath. “You’re insane.”
“And you’re my best friend, so what does that say about you?” I ask, sending him a grin before finally coming upon Avery’s name. “Ha! Avery Rose.”
