How About No
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Blurb
Wade had everything he could ever want in life…then he lost it.
Now, his life—his forever girl—is living in a house he built for her while he’s struggling to move on and find meaning where there isn’t any to be found.
Landry Hill was his girl. His everything. His first kiss. His first and only love. His old lady and wife.
Then one day he does something monumentally stupid, and she walks away knowing she’ll never come back.
Fast forward two years, and he’s still just as in love with her now as he was when she left. The only problem is that she’s moved on with her life, found a new man, and has seemingly forgotten him. Then there’s Wade—stuck in the same awful place where she abandoned him. The only thing he has left is his job as a police officer and the Bear Bottom MC.
Just when they both think things can’t get any worse, life kicks them both in the teeth, and Landry finds out really quick that the only person she can depend on is the one that let her walk away.
With that understanding comes a deal. One that Landry has no hope of ever breaking free from and one Wade will do everything in his power to make a reality.
But one thing is still certain. The force that split them apart is still out there, and there’s no hope of escaping fate.
Prologue
No goats, no glory.
-T-shirt from Tractor Supply
Landry
5 years old
The needle hurt. The nice nurse said that it would, but she didn’t have to tell me that it would. I already knew.
“When you wake up, you’ll feel a little sore,” the nice nurse lied.
I closed my eyes and tried not to cry.
My mommy and daddy didn’t like it when I cried.
***
7 years old
“Hi there, Landry. Are you in any pain?” the nurse asked.
I nodded as I thought that I didn’t know her name.
What was the point?
“Okay, I’ll get you something.” The nurse bustled out, and I took a quick glance around the room. My mommy and daddy weren’t there.
They were likely two floors away with Lina.
They were always with Lina.
I shifted before I thought about it, and pain shot through my hips and a short gasp fell free of my lips.
I didn’t cry, though. Crying never got me anywhere.
***
12 years old
“But, Mom! I don’t want to do another one!” I cried out.
I didn’t know why I was arguing. Hell, it never got me anywhere.
But God, I was just so tired.
I couldn’t be a kid. I couldn’t have fun. I couldn’t go anywhere. Couldn’t do anything.
I wanted cake! I wanted to go outside and play. I wanted to go to a bookstore and chance getting sick! I wanted a life!
“You don’t get a choice in this, Landry Marine. You get to do what you’re told because I’m the one who puts a roof over your head and food in your mouth,” my father practically snarled.
I felt the anger burn in my throat, but what he said was true. He did pay for those things.
Though, I would gladly give up those two things if I was able to live the life I wanted to live.
My life—from the moment I was conceived in a test tube and implanted into the body of a woman who wasn’t even my mother—had been for someone else’s benefit.
It sure the heck wasn’t mine.
I was created for the sole purpose of offering their daughter—the wonderful Lina—a chance at life.
Me? Well, the only reason they wanted me healthy was because if I wasn’t healthy, I couldn’t donate bone marrow to Lina when it was needed.
And it had been needed—many times.
But, lucky for everyone but me, Lina got better every time.
The only problem was that she would only get sick again six to twelve months later.
I was, of course, the last resort.
But, that didn’t mean that I got to live my life in between those times when my sister wasn’t considered sick.
Nope, not me.
I got to eat broccoli and asparagus. I only got fruits that weren’t high in carbs.
White bread was a no-go, and I only ate the healthiest meals—lean chicken, whole grain rice.
I had my first and only bite of cake at a birthday party I was invited to, but my mother had slapped it out of my hand before I could get a second bite in.
That one had gotten me grounded for two months.
Not that it mattered.
I didn’t have a life outside of my home anyway.
I was the most boring, in shape twelve-year-old on the planet.
My parents made sure of it.
***
15 years old
Everything hurt.
But there would be no pain medicine for me, though, on the off chance that I became addicted to it.
Those were my mother’s words, not mine.
She watched over me like a hawk, and there was no way in hell that I’d ever get addicted to anything when she chose each and every thing that went into my mouth.
“Landry,” my mother chided when I walked into the living room and immediately put my ass on the couch. “Go to your room. We don’t want to listen to the television right now.”
I looked around the room at my parents who’d walked in behind me.
Not that they’d be staying.
My mother would go to her solarium while my father went to his office.
There they’d spend the next couple hours working and or entertaining.
“Would you mind dropping this off in Lina’s room on your way? She called and asked for a Happy Meal from McDonald’s when you were in surgery.”
I swallowed my anger and stood up, even though it hurt so bad that I could barely breathe.
Each time I donated, it only seemed to get worse and the recovery stretched out longer.
The pain lasted for weeks on top of weeks instead of the short intervals that I’d had in the beginning.
I was so young the first time that I underwent this procedure that I don’t remember the recovery—I just remembered pain.
And that didn’t even begin to factor in the depression that took me down for even longer.
“Sure,” I croaked, grabbing the Happy Meal off the counter. “Are you sure I won’t get germs on it?”
“Would you mind spraying the box down with Lysol, washing your hands, and then putting it out on a clean plate?” my father asked as he passed on his way to his office.
I wanted to throw it into the trash, but that wouldn’t be very nice.
My sister didn’t have a choice in how she was treated any more than I had a choice in how I was treated.
Which was why we lived in Mexico, in a house in the hills, with the very best of everything we could ever ask for because what they were doing to me was unethical. They would never allow me to be in a position where I could snitch on them that I wasn’t willingly donating.
My parents could afford anything. Anything.
Paying off a doctor to perform the medical procedures? Check.
Buying a top of the line medical hospital room and round-the-clock nurses so that my sister could be treated at home when she had to be in isolation for three weeks prior to receiving my donation? Check.
Medical personnel willing to look the other way when I was too underweight to safely donate? Check.
Oh, and let’s not forget the anti-depressants that I was on. We’ll just act like we didn’t hear that you were on them.
Yeah, my parents had everything in their front pocket, and their world revolved around their daughter.
Only, that daughter wasn’t me.
***
17 years old
Being back in the United States felt weird.
Going to school felt even weirder.
I had exactly seven months left until I graduated. Until I turned eighteen.
Until I could run and never look back.
I knew I’d be found, but I would find a way.
Anything was possible.
“Do not eat that,” my mother chided.
I ate the piece of candy and glared at her for good measure.
My mother narrowed her eyes, and I knew that it didn’t matter how much I rebelled. She’d find a way to repay me.
And she did hours later by locking me in my bedroom and telling me to think about why I was being treated like a child.
***
18 years old
I walked across the stage with tears streaming down my cheeks.
Wade had everything he could ever want in life…then he lost it.
Now, his life—his forever girl—is living in a house he built for her while he’s struggling to move on and find meaning where there isn’t any to be found.
Landry Hill was his girl. His everything. His first kiss. His first and only love. His old lady and wife.
Then one day he does something monumentally stupid, and she walks away knowing she’ll never come back.
Fast forward two years, and he’s still just as in love with her now as he was when she left. The only problem is that she’s moved on with her life, found a new man, and has seemingly forgotten him. Then there’s Wade—stuck in the same awful place where she abandoned him. The only thing he has left is his job as a police officer and the Bear Bottom MC.
Just when they both think things can’t get any worse, life kicks them both in the teeth, and Landry finds out really quick that the only person she can depend on is the one that let her walk away.
With that understanding comes a deal. One that Landry has no hope of ever breaking free from and one Wade will do everything in his power to make a reality.
But one thing is still certain. The force that split them apart is still out there, and there’s no hope of escaping fate.
Prologue
No goats, no glory.
-T-shirt from Tractor Supply
Landry
5 years old
The needle hurt. The nice nurse said that it would, but she didn’t have to tell me that it would. I already knew.
“When you wake up, you’ll feel a little sore,” the nice nurse lied.
I closed my eyes and tried not to cry.
My mommy and daddy didn’t like it when I cried.
***
7 years old
“Hi there, Landry. Are you in any pain?” the nurse asked.
I nodded as I thought that I didn’t know her name.
What was the point?
“Okay, I’ll get you something.” The nurse bustled out, and I took a quick glance around the room. My mommy and daddy weren’t there.
They were likely two floors away with Lina.
They were always with Lina.
I shifted before I thought about it, and pain shot through my hips and a short gasp fell free of my lips.
I didn’t cry, though. Crying never got me anywhere.
***
12 years old
“But, Mom! I don’t want to do another one!” I cried out.
I didn’t know why I was arguing. Hell, it never got me anywhere.
But God, I was just so tired.
I couldn’t be a kid. I couldn’t have fun. I couldn’t go anywhere. Couldn’t do anything.
I wanted cake! I wanted to go outside and play. I wanted to go to a bookstore and chance getting sick! I wanted a life!
“You don’t get a choice in this, Landry Marine. You get to do what you’re told because I’m the one who puts a roof over your head and food in your mouth,” my father practically snarled.
I felt the anger burn in my throat, but what he said was true. He did pay for those things.
Though, I would gladly give up those two things if I was able to live the life I wanted to live.
My life—from the moment I was conceived in a test tube and implanted into the body of a woman who wasn’t even my mother—had been for someone else’s benefit.
It sure the heck wasn’t mine.
I was created for the sole purpose of offering their daughter—the wonderful Lina—a chance at life.
Me? Well, the only reason they wanted me healthy was because if I wasn’t healthy, I couldn’t donate bone marrow to Lina when it was needed.
And it had been needed—many times.
But, lucky for everyone but me, Lina got better every time.
The only problem was that she would only get sick again six to twelve months later.
I was, of course, the last resort.
But, that didn’t mean that I got to live my life in between those times when my sister wasn’t considered sick.
Nope, not me.
I got to eat broccoli and asparagus. I only got fruits that weren’t high in carbs.
White bread was a no-go, and I only ate the healthiest meals—lean chicken, whole grain rice.
I had my first and only bite of cake at a birthday party I was invited to, but my mother had slapped it out of my hand before I could get a second bite in.
That one had gotten me grounded for two months.
Not that it mattered.
I didn’t have a life outside of my home anyway.
I was the most boring, in shape twelve-year-old on the planet.
My parents made sure of it.
***
15 years old
Everything hurt.
But there would be no pain medicine for me, though, on the off chance that I became addicted to it.
Those were my mother’s words, not mine.
She watched over me like a hawk, and there was no way in hell that I’d ever get addicted to anything when she chose each and every thing that went into my mouth.
“Landry,” my mother chided when I walked into the living room and immediately put my ass on the couch. “Go to your room. We don’t want to listen to the television right now.”
I looked around the room at my parents who’d walked in behind me.
Not that they’d be staying.
My mother would go to her solarium while my father went to his office.
There they’d spend the next couple hours working and or entertaining.
“Would you mind dropping this off in Lina’s room on your way? She called and asked for a Happy Meal from McDonald’s when you were in surgery.”
I swallowed my anger and stood up, even though it hurt so bad that I could barely breathe.
Each time I donated, it only seemed to get worse and the recovery stretched out longer.
The pain lasted for weeks on top of weeks instead of the short intervals that I’d had in the beginning.
I was so young the first time that I underwent this procedure that I don’t remember the recovery—I just remembered pain.
And that didn’t even begin to factor in the depression that took me down for even longer.
“Sure,” I croaked, grabbing the Happy Meal off the counter. “Are you sure I won’t get germs on it?”
“Would you mind spraying the box down with Lysol, washing your hands, and then putting it out on a clean plate?” my father asked as he passed on his way to his office.
I wanted to throw it into the trash, but that wouldn’t be very nice.
My sister didn’t have a choice in how she was treated any more than I had a choice in how I was treated.
Which was why we lived in Mexico, in a house in the hills, with the very best of everything we could ever ask for because what they were doing to me was unethical. They would never allow me to be in a position where I could snitch on them that I wasn’t willingly donating.
My parents could afford anything. Anything.
Paying off a doctor to perform the medical procedures? Check.
Buying a top of the line medical hospital room and round-the-clock nurses so that my sister could be treated at home when she had to be in isolation for three weeks prior to receiving my donation? Check.
Medical personnel willing to look the other way when I was too underweight to safely donate? Check.
Oh, and let’s not forget the anti-depressants that I was on. We’ll just act like we didn’t hear that you were on them.
Yeah, my parents had everything in their front pocket, and their world revolved around their daughter.
Only, that daughter wasn’t me.
***
17 years old
Being back in the United States felt weird.
Going to school felt even weirder.
I had exactly seven months left until I graduated. Until I turned eighteen.
Until I could run and never look back.
I knew I’d be found, but I would find a way.
Anything was possible.
“Do not eat that,” my mother chided.
I ate the piece of candy and glared at her for good measure.
My mother narrowed her eyes, and I knew that it didn’t matter how much I rebelled. She’d find a way to repay me.
And she did hours later by locking me in my bedroom and telling me to think about why I was being treated like a child.
***
18 years old
I walked across the stage with tears streaming down my cheeks.
