How About No
Page 15

Wade? He had a great laugh. It’d always made me weak in the knees, and I hadn’t heard it for so long that I wasn’t prepared for it.
I wasn’t prepared for the way he threw his head back and let his amusement loose.
Because, maybe if I had been, I wouldn’t have been watching him at the time. I wouldn’t have been so caught up in the wonder that I couldn’t look away.
Hell, even the fact that he’d taken his eyes off the road didn’t affect me—even though it should have.
He started laughing so hard that tears came to his eyes.
And when he finally stopped, returning his eyes to the road, I still stared.
“I know you,” he said on a small laugh. “I know you better than I know anyone.”
I shook my head in denial.
Then I tried the last thing I ever wanted to try—but I needed him to stop. He had to move on with his life – without me.
Because I wasn’t capable of leaving Wade a second time.
And I had a feeling if I didn’t dissuade him soon, then he’d be back in my life, and I wouldn’t have anything to stop him with.
“I’m sleeping with Kourt,” I lied. “I’ve been sleeping with Kourt since before you even came in the picture.”
And, out of all the things I expected him to do, I didn’t expect him to take my hand and tell me what he told me next.
“You’re so full of shit it’s coming out of your ears. You’re not sleeping with anyone, and you haven’t since we split. You can keep Kourt in your life, honey,” he told me. “You can keep your best friend while I’m with you. But, just sayin’, you and I are going to happen. You don’t have to lie about sleeping with your best friend, because you don’t get a choice in the matter anymore. I’m going to make it work between us, and you’re going to let me do it because you don’t have a choice.”
“I’ve had suicidal thoughts.”
All amusement fled his face.
“I know,” he murmured, his voice soft. “And it hurts my heart that it got to that point for you and that it was a defining moment in your life. If you hadn’t done that, you might’ve never become such good friends with Kourt. In turn, you might’ve never moved here, and I might not have met you.”
I swallowed hard.
I’d just told him my most painful, personal secret, and he’d…accepted it.
“How do you know?” I whispered.
I was almost afraid to ask.
But, I had to know.
Was it my parents? My sister?
Though, I wouldn’t think that either of them would care enough to tell on me. They were selfish beings. They didn’t care about my life, as long as I was there to be used when they needed to use me.
“Kourt.”
All the breath was ripped out of my chest.
“Kourt?” I croaked, stunned.
Wade nodded, calmly going around a slower moving car. “Kourt.”
I opened my mouth, then closed it.
“W-when?” I stuttered.
“The day I was shot,” he answered simply. “I would’ve come after you then, but I was kind of, sort of, maybe too weak to do it. Plus, I had some anger to work through. I wanted to be able to come to you, to talk to you, without wanting to wring your damn neck.”
I looked down at my hands and clenched them, then leaned forward and started to sift through the bag of food.
There was nothing else to eat but a couple of protein bars that Wade had bought, and there was no way in hell I was touching those.
They were disgusting.
I’d tried them once when I was hungry, and had tasted the disgusting things in my mouth for a half a day afterward.
“You don’t have to be mad at your friend, baby,” he said to me. “He was only looking out for you.”
I knew that.
That didn’t make my heart feel better, though.
My best friend had shared my dirty little secrets, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I felt utterly betrayed.
“I’ll never marry you again,” I whispered.
He patted my hand. “As long as I have you, I don’t care if we’re married.” He paused. “But, just sayin’, I’m not going to settle for anything less than everything from you. One day, I’ll convince you.”
The fact that he sounded so sure of himself made me want to punch him.
But I didn’t say a word. Not for the next two hours. Not after my final parting comment.
“You know how badly you wanted to take my ass and I never let you?” I whispered furiously. “Well, this is also something that you’re not going to get.”
Chapter 8
It’s not about how many times you fall. It’s how many times you get back up.
-Wade listening to a DWI suspect
Wade
“Do you want me to stop?” I asked Landry.
She shook her head.
The last two hours had been filled with enough silence that it would’ve bothered another man.
It didn’t bother me.
When Landry was pissed, and she knew she was right, she’d talk until she was blue in the face.
But, over the last couple of hours, she’d had absolutely nothing to say to refute my earlier words. Words that I’d meant every single one of.
I didn’t care if we were divorced.
I didn’t care if she thought that our being together was a lost cause.
I was going to make us work, even if I had to do all the work myself.
I’d failed her by not listening to her, not trying to figure out why she hadn’t wanted to donate her bone marrow. I had pressured her to the point that she felt like she had no other choice than to leave me. I wouldn’t fail her again.
I’d fight until there was nothing left of me.
“Well then, I guess we’ll head straight to the lawyer’s office. Sound good to you?” I asked.
Landry sighed. “Sure.”
Lips twitching, I passed all of the restaurants in town and headed downtown straight to the lawyer’s office that we used—I had no clue why we didn’t use one closer, but I hadn’t known any lawyers except for the one my dad had used.
Since we had no children and I gave her everything, Landry had drawn up divorce papers online. I’d gone along with her. We had the final decrees sent to my uncle Jimmy, also my dad’s lawyer after it was drawn up.
I had never used a lawyer for anything but that divorce in my whole life. Now I was regretting that because I should’ve found someone closer. Certainly closer than four hours.
And I wished that I had never had to use a lawyer at all. There was that.
Arriving downtown, I sighed when I didn’t see any parking spaces that were big enough.
“You’re going to have to park in BFE,” she murmured.
Bum-fuck-Egypt.
I rolled my eyes and did just that, not caring in the least until I got out of the truck and realized that I was going to have to walk three blocks to get where I needed to go.
She saw my hesitation as I rounded her side of the truck and opened her door for her.
“Do you want me to drop you off?” she offered.
I snorted and held out my hand, which she took.
The feel of her tiny, soft hand in my big, rough one made my heart hammer.
Something so small shouldn’t make such a big hole in my heart, should it?
But it did.
There was so much I missed.
Holding her hand. Brushing the hair back off her face. Pulling her body in tight to mine. Pressing myself up against her ass as she bent over the sink to brush her teeth. The way she used to leave her long hair on the shower glass.
Hell, I even missed the way she swore up and down that she didn’t fart.
The girl was so adamant that she didn’t do anything of the sort that it was comical.
According to her, she was God’s one exception to the rule. She did not do those kinds of things—even though we both knew she did.
Hell, I swore on all that was holy that the girl got up an hour early just so she could do the things—such as taking a shit—that she was just too embarrassed to do when I was around or awake.
“Are you coming?” she asked, looking at me weirdly.
But she didn’t take her hand away.