How to Ruin My Teenage Life
Page 16

"Oh, yeah," I say. "Didn't you know? It was love at first sight. Right, Nathan?"
It's either going to be me and Nathan against Roxanne and the rest of the bunch, or me against everyone.
I turn my head and look at Nathan, sitting beside me. The fluorescent lights of the cafeteria are reflected in his glasses, so I can't see his eyes. But those circular frames are definitely directed at me. "Yeah, right," he says. "I guess it's true. Opposites attract."
I chow on another bite of my sandwich, staring down at my food so I don't have to talk.
But I do see Nathan's fingers, reaching for his pizza. Within three minutes he's picking up the second piece. It's probably a world record in pizza eating. By the time he's done with his second slice, students are still entering the cafeteria.
One gulp of iced tea and he's done. I'm still trying to choke down my sandwich.
Nathan murmurs something to me in my ear that I can't understand, and leaves.
"What did he say?" Jess asks, obviously confused. She knows Nathan and I aren't even friends. Okay, we did kiss. But it was for show. I wasn't even a willing participant the second time.
"No idea," I mumble, then take another bite.
After school, Jess catches up to me on the way to the bus stop.
"Amy," she says. "I don't get it. You think Nathan is a dork--don't even argue with me because I know you better than your own mom does. Then you kiss him in front of the entire school while you're still hung up on Avi. Raine is telling everyone you've gone wacko on her. It doesn't make sense."
"Life doesn't make sense, Jess. Do you hate me?"
"Why would I hate you? I may not understand you. I may get mad at you. But I could never hate you."
Nathan is walking toward us, his uptight gait is so dorky I want to wince. I swear the guy needs a lesson in loosening up and being crazy. He probably dances like a sixty-year-old.
Avi is an amazing dancer. I remember in Israel last summer he was dancing with a girl and I got jealous so I picked a guy at random and pulled him out on the dance floor. Biggest mistake. Let's just say the end result almost had me arrested by the Israeli police.
When Nathan reaches us, Jessica walks to the bus stop to give us privacy. She's such a good friend. Totally mistaken about the situation between me and Nathan, but her heart is in the right place.
I tap Nathan on his elbow. "We need to talk."
"Why? You want to kiss again?"
"And have your glasses whack me in the face again? I don't think so. I want to talk. The kind of talking where lips don't touch."
"Sorry. No can do."
The bus is turning the corner. "Well, we can't keep pretending to be dating."
"Sure we can," he says, putting his arm around me and leading me to the back so we sit with everyone else. I shrug his arm off.
When we get to our stop, we climb off the bus and he puts his arm around my shoulders again as if we're a real couple. Before I can shrug him off again, I look up. My heart slams into my chest and I almost fall backward.
Standing at the front of my building, like an Abercrombie model posing without even meaning to, is Avi.
And he's watching me walk toward him with Nathan's arm around me. I'm too shocked to ask Avi how he got here, why he's here, how long he's going to stay, or if he still cares about me.
"Avi," I say softly when we get closer to him. I swear I'm still in a trance when I add, "What are you doing here?"
"Who's this guy?" he answers back.
17
***
If God made the world in six days (Genesis 2:2), surely I can make sense of my life in seven.
***
I shrug Nathan's arm off me. He drops it from my shoulders, but still stands next to me. What, is Nathan waiting for a formal introduction? I'm not prepared to give it, even when I find myself saying, "Avi, this is Nathan. Nathan, this is my... this is Avi."
It was a big deal to Avi that we didn't label ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend, with him in the Israeli army for the next three years. As much as my mind agreed with it, my heart didn't. My ego didn't, either. So I end up telling everyone he's my non-boyfriend. Let them decide what it means.
I look at Avi; his stance is stiff and his jaw is tight. He's always been guarded and tough, and I can feel he's already putting up an invisible thick wall between us, ready to shut me out. And he's been with me less than two minutes.
Which actually pisses me off because he was the one who didn't want to be official boyfriend and girlfriend. I did.
I watch as Avi reaches out to shake Nathan's hand. They're so opposite. Avi is the model type and Nathan is this ail-American boy-next-door (who needs a major makeover). They give one hard "shake and release" with their hands.
"I got time off," Avi says. "For a week. Surprise, surprise."
A week. I have a week with him. A part of me is giddy beyond belief that I'll have seven days to spend with him and the other half is mad because it's just a tease. Just when I'm ready to move on in my life, he shows up and messes it all back up.
Nathan is still standing beside me, watching me with those stupid emerald eyes. "Catch you later, Amy," he says, then opens the door to our building.
He doesn't call me Barbie. Why that fact should stick in my brain is beyond me.
"Don't you have a suitcase?" I ask Avi.
"I left my duffle with the security guy inside." He puts his hands in his jeans pockets and looks away from me. "This was a bad idea, Amy. I thought... well, screw what I thought. I have a friend at Northwestern I can stay with."
A gust of Chicago wind rushes through the street and chills me to the bone. "You shouldn't have surprised me. I hate surprises. Although I probably should have told you that a long time ago. But now that you know, don't do it again."
Avi's eyebrow quirks up. "I told your dad," he says. His voice is smooth and reminds me of dark chocolate milk.
"Great. My dad knows more about my boyf--about you than I do."
All, it all makes sense now, why my dad asked me how I felt about Avi when we had our manicures.
"I thought you'd want me to come."
"I do, Avi," I say, but I can tell by the way he's standing stiff he doesn't believe me.
Right now is the awkward stage. I mean, really, we haven't even touched or hugged or really, really looked at each other yet. I can tell him how much I've missed him until I'm blue in the face, though I'm already blue in the face because I'm freezing my ass off out here.
"Let's talk up in my condo, okay?"
He nods and follows my lead. The doorman gives Avi his huge, army green duffle as we pass.
In the elevator, Avi looks straight ahead while I stand behind him. I can't believe he's actually here, in America, in Chicago, in my elevator!
I have so many questions running through my head, number one being why is he here? I thought he'd be in training until February.
Glancing at him, I analyze the differences a few months can make. Wow, he looks taller and more muscular than he did last summer--he's obviously been working out. And I swear he's standing straighter and has a determined look to him that I don't remember. Raw confidence. A commando in the making.
Although there's a caged animal energy radiating from him, as though being in an elevator is making him claustrophobic.
The door to the elevator opens and I lead him to my condo. Mutt greets us with energetic "Args!" and a tail wagging so hard I think it'll fall off if he gets any more excited.
Avi's eyes go wide. "He's gadol... big," he says in Hebrew and English as he leans over to pet Mutt. When Mutt goes for his crotch, Avi says in a calm, deep voice, "Die!'
"That's not nice to say to my dog," I say. Maybe Avi's not the guy I once thought he was. Telling my dog to die is not my idea of being cool.
Avi stands up tall. "Die means 'stop' in Hebrew, Amy. As in 'that's enough; I don't want your nose in my balls.' That okay with you?"
Oh, no. Things are not going well at all. "Yeah," I say sheepishly. "That's fine."
Mutt scratches the door and noses the leash. I wish Mutt would wait, but if you gotta go, you gotta go no matter if you're human or animal.
"I need to take him out or he'll pee on the floor," I say.
Avi drops his duffle and says, "I'll go with you."
The problem is we need to talk honestly and openly (at the dog park that's not going to happen). I don't want to alienate Avi more than I already have. "That's okay. It'll just take me a minute. I mean, it'll just take Mutt a minute. Wait here, okay?" He nods. "Fine."
I hurry and clip Mutt's leash to his collar. In the elevator, Mutt looks up at me with his puppy dog eyes that are so expressive sometimes I think there's a human soul inside all of that fur. "Avi's here," I tell him. "And its awkward. What can I do to make it all better?"
Mutt looks up at me, sticks his tongue out, and pants like a...like a dog who wants to pee.
No answers from this genius dog.
At the dog park, I unclip the leash when we're fenced inside the park. My mind isn't on Mutt. It's on Avi. I contemplate what I'm going to say to him when I get back upstairs.
Do I tell him I kissed Nathan... twice?
It didn't mean anything, and yet I did participate. But how much participating do you have to do before it can really be labeled cheating?
Although how can I cheat on someone who I'm not even officially dating? Does the label of "dating" matter, or is it the feelings in your heart that takes precedence? Oh, man, I am so screwed up. Can my life get any worse?
As if on cue, I hear screaming and a ruckus coming from the other end of the dog park. I turn around and my eyes go wide when I see Mutt humping another dog.
He's usually humping another male dog, showing him who's the boss.
But not this time.
My mutt Mutt is humping Princess. Mr. Obermeyer's prized purebread Princess.
And he is going at it but good. Oh, shit.
When I run over, Mr. Obermeyer is screaming at me, "Get your dog off her!"
I swallow, hard. "What...what do you want me to do?"
In a state of panic, I catch Mitch watching the whole obscene scene and laughing. Most of the other people have their mouths wide open in horror because everyone knows to keep their dog away from Princess and Mr. Obermeyer.
I start yelling words to make Mutt leave Princess alone. "Mutt, come! Treat! No! Get off! Leave her alone! DIE!" Yeah, even that last word Avi just taught me didn't work.
Now all I want to do is DIE.
"Do something, besides give commands your dog doesn't follow," Mr. Obermeyer yells. "Hurry!"
I take a step toward the two dogs in a romantic dance. "Get off Princess," I growl through clenched teeth. "She's not your type."
Mutt obviously has selective hearing.
When I move closer, I'm getting queasy. I'm not an all-natural-comfortable-in-nature kind of person. Interrupting two dogs in the middle of a very private moment in a very public setting is not my thing and never will be.
Taking a deep breath and bracing myself for humiliation, I step behind Mutt and wrap my arms across his middle. And pull. And pull. But Mutt refuses to let go. Damn.
As soon as I release my grip and give up, Mutt bounds away from Princess as if the entire thing was no big deal.