Clear as the floor of your office. He cant be alive. I watched the Hag scrape his guts out and sew them up into her dress. Surely he wouldnt really break all my arms and legs. Would he?
The presence behind my back is gone and Im floored for a second by how cold I am. I hadnt realized how much heat he was throwing off until he was gone.
Theres no way hes alive. It cant be Ryodan behind me. Is Barrons alive, then, too? How could they be? I know theyre tough to kill and all but folks dont survive being gutted! Where did they get new guts from? Did somebody take them back from the Hag and sew them both up again? Will he look like Frankensteins monster?
I dont want to turn around. I dont like any of the possibilities confronting me. If its not Ryodan, Ive gone nuts. If it is Ryodan, dude, Im dead.
Turn around, kid.
I cant make my feet move. I cant wrap my brain around that hes standing behind me. Im shaking like a leaf. Me! What the feck is wrong with me? Im tougher than tough! I aint scared of nothing.
Now.
I take a deep breath and turn around. I absorb his face, his body, the way he stands, the look in his eyes, the arrogant, faint smile.
Its either Ryodan or a perfect clone.
I do something I cant believe I do. I hate hormones, I hate Chesters, and I bloody fecking hate Ryodan. Im never going to be able to live this down!
I burst into tears.
Ryodan turns and stalks off for the stairs.
I trail miserably behind him. The whole fecking club is watching Dani Mega OMalley cry and walk behind Ryodan without saying a word, like a dog brought to heel. I cant fecking believe it. I hate my life. I hate myself. I hate my stupid face. I want to snap, He broke my ribs and Im crying from the pain of one them puncturing my lung but Im tough and Ill kick his ass and be okay and then Ill kick all of your asses, too! to save face, but Im pretty sure if I say a word he really will break my leg. I wipe angrily at my eyes. My stupid, pansy, betraying eyes with their stupid, pansy, betraying tear ducts.
The whole club has gone silent. Folks and Fae part a wide path to let us walk through. Ive never taken a long walk of shame before and it chafes real bad. Jos standing there, white-faced, looking from me to Ryodans back, and back at me again. She might be his flavor of the month but I can tell by the look on her face that shes afraid of pushing him. She mouths, Apologize! Bend. Or hell break you!
Over my dead body. The Mega doesnt bend. I pass Lor at the bottom of the steps to the upper level. I turn my face away because I cant stand him to see me being such a baby. He leans in close and says soft-like against my ear, Honey, you might just have saved your life with those tears. I thought you had toomuch ego and too little common sense to know when to turn on the waterworks. He cant stand a woman crying. It fucks him up every time.
I look at him. He winks at me.
I flash fire at him with my eyes because I aint allowed to use my tongue. They say: I aint a woman and I aint crying and I aint afraid of nothing.
He can deal with not being able to control you as long as you let the world believe he does. Hes king here, honey. Kings cant be challenged publicly.
Nobody controls me. Ever, my eyes snarl. And I challenge whoever the feck I want wherever I fecking feel like doing it!
He grins. I hear you, kid. Loud and clear. Just remember what I said.
I jut my jaw and follow Ryodan up the stairs.
He turns on me the second I close the door.
Turn it off. You dont cry. I expect you not to cry. Stop it. This fucking instant.
Im not crying! I got stuff in my eyes when you slammed me into the column. And I expect dead people to stay dead! So, I guess we both got disappointed, huh?
Is that what you are? Disappointed? You watched me get gutted and die and now that Im standing in front of you alive you feel disappointed?
Did I just hear, like, three question marks?
Do not fuck with me right now! He slams me back into the wall so hard I feel the pane rumble behind my back.
You dont care what I feel! You never have. You just order me around and expect me to obey and get pissy if I dont. Im nothing to you so dont pretend you give a royal rats ass what I feel!
Loyalty stems from what you feel. Or dont. You arent on thin ice, kid. Youre underwater and my hand is on your head, holding you down. So choose well: D is for disappointed to see me. And Death. L is for loyalty. And Life. Convince me I should let you live.
His face is an inch from mine. Hes breathing hard and I feel violence in him. Lor said I should use my tears to manipulate him. Theres no way Im stooping to such wussy-girl depths. Im just as big and bad as he is.
Hes alive. Hes here. Bullying me. No doubt getting ready to eventuallyafter hes done killing meorder me to report to work again.
Were back to being us. Robin to his Batman.
Hes alive.
Tears stream from my eyes.
Stop it! He slams me back into the wall again so hard my teeth clatter but the idiotic tears just keep coming.
I bounce off and use the ricochet to smash into him as hard as I can. He grabs my wrist when I hit him and when he goes flying back, takes me with him. We crash into his desk. I go flying up on it, roll over it and leap to my feet, tossing my hair from my eyes.
The presence behind my back is gone and Im floored for a second by how cold I am. I hadnt realized how much heat he was throwing off until he was gone.
Theres no way hes alive. It cant be Ryodan behind me. Is Barrons alive, then, too? How could they be? I know theyre tough to kill and all but folks dont survive being gutted! Where did they get new guts from? Did somebody take them back from the Hag and sew them both up again? Will he look like Frankensteins monster?
I dont want to turn around. I dont like any of the possibilities confronting me. If its not Ryodan, Ive gone nuts. If it is Ryodan, dude, Im dead.
Turn around, kid.
I cant make my feet move. I cant wrap my brain around that hes standing behind me. Im shaking like a leaf. Me! What the feck is wrong with me? Im tougher than tough! I aint scared of nothing.
Now.
I take a deep breath and turn around. I absorb his face, his body, the way he stands, the look in his eyes, the arrogant, faint smile.
Its either Ryodan or a perfect clone.
I do something I cant believe I do. I hate hormones, I hate Chesters, and I bloody fecking hate Ryodan. Im never going to be able to live this down!
I burst into tears.
Ryodan turns and stalks off for the stairs.
I trail miserably behind him. The whole fecking club is watching Dani Mega OMalley cry and walk behind Ryodan without saying a word, like a dog brought to heel. I cant fecking believe it. I hate my life. I hate myself. I hate my stupid face. I want to snap, He broke my ribs and Im crying from the pain of one them puncturing my lung but Im tough and Ill kick his ass and be okay and then Ill kick all of your asses, too! to save face, but Im pretty sure if I say a word he really will break my leg. I wipe angrily at my eyes. My stupid, pansy, betraying eyes with their stupid, pansy, betraying tear ducts.
The whole club has gone silent. Folks and Fae part a wide path to let us walk through. Ive never taken a long walk of shame before and it chafes real bad. Jos standing there, white-faced, looking from me to Ryodans back, and back at me again. She might be his flavor of the month but I can tell by the look on her face that shes afraid of pushing him. She mouths, Apologize! Bend. Or hell break you!
Over my dead body. The Mega doesnt bend. I pass Lor at the bottom of the steps to the upper level. I turn my face away because I cant stand him to see me being such a baby. He leans in close and says soft-like against my ear, Honey, you might just have saved your life with those tears. I thought you had toomuch ego and too little common sense to know when to turn on the waterworks. He cant stand a woman crying. It fucks him up every time.
I look at him. He winks at me.
I flash fire at him with my eyes because I aint allowed to use my tongue. They say: I aint a woman and I aint crying and I aint afraid of nothing.
He can deal with not being able to control you as long as you let the world believe he does. Hes king here, honey. Kings cant be challenged publicly.
Nobody controls me. Ever, my eyes snarl. And I challenge whoever the feck I want wherever I fecking feel like doing it!
He grins. I hear you, kid. Loud and clear. Just remember what I said.
I jut my jaw and follow Ryodan up the stairs.
He turns on me the second I close the door.
Turn it off. You dont cry. I expect you not to cry. Stop it. This fucking instant.
Im not crying! I got stuff in my eyes when you slammed me into the column. And I expect dead people to stay dead! So, I guess we both got disappointed, huh?
Is that what you are? Disappointed? You watched me get gutted and die and now that Im standing in front of you alive you feel disappointed?
Did I just hear, like, three question marks?
Do not fuck with me right now! He slams me back into the wall so hard I feel the pane rumble behind my back.
You dont care what I feel! You never have. You just order me around and expect me to obey and get pissy if I dont. Im nothing to you so dont pretend you give a royal rats ass what I feel!
Loyalty stems from what you feel. Or dont. You arent on thin ice, kid. Youre underwater and my hand is on your head, holding you down. So choose well: D is for disappointed to see me. And Death. L is for loyalty. And Life. Convince me I should let you live.
His face is an inch from mine. Hes breathing hard and I feel violence in him. Lor said I should use my tears to manipulate him. Theres no way Im stooping to such wussy-girl depths. Im just as big and bad as he is.
Hes alive. Hes here. Bullying me. No doubt getting ready to eventuallyafter hes done killing meorder me to report to work again.
Were back to being us. Robin to his Batman.
Hes alive.
Tears stream from my eyes.
Stop it! He slams me back into the wall again so hard my teeth clatter but the idiotic tears just keep coming.
I bounce off and use the ricochet to smash into him as hard as I can. He grabs my wrist when I hit him and when he goes flying back, takes me with him. We crash into his desk. I go flying up on it, roll over it and leap to my feet, tossing my hair from my eyes.
