“You wanna play hooky with me?” I don’t remember the last time I have. It’s been years.
“I want to play a lot with you, darlin’. I’m just getting started.” He rolls back over me and covers my body with his.
“Just getting started?” I don’t know if he’s talking about sex or what’s happening between us.
“Not ready for this to end.” I hold my breath for a second as I process what I think I need to process.
“Has it started, Beau?” I ask, missing the moment we labeled what was happening. Barely twenty-four hours ago, he was fighting this, yet now he’s not ready to give it up.
“Darlin’, do you even have to ask?”
It’s not a label or even really an answer, but I’ll take it anyway.
“How can you not be exhausted right now?” I move us away from this line of questioning and settle in closer to him.
“Fucking beat, but something tells me having your naked body in my bed I’m not getting any sleep.”
“You could try.”
“Or I could fuck you. Better yet, you can fuck me.” His hands move to my waist and in one quick movement, he rolls, taking me with him. I land on top of him, his cock starting to grow as it rests at the apex of my thighs.
My eyes fall on the small skin-colored bandage on his arm and I zone in on it.
“What happened?”
“Just a scratch,” he dismisses too coolly as he rests his hands under his head and smirks up at me. “I’ll give you free play. Then I’ll take the lead.”
“You’re terrible.” I shake my head, letting it go.
“I am, but you fucking love it.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
The truth is I do. I love the way he is. Love the way he speaks, the way he treats me. I love it all and yeah it scares me. Oh, God, does it scare me. What will happen when my past finally catches up with me? Would whatever is going on between us fall apart? I want to think no, but sometimes when you grow tired of running, your fears make you insecure. They pull you down and force you to live in darkness, surrounded by whatever it is you are running away from.
I didn’t want to be like this anymore. I wanted something more. Even after everything I had done.
Maybe later I will rethink my actions, but right now this is what I want and I’m not going to overthink it. I have to trust this future is better than my past.
If anyone understands that it’s Beau.
Past Mackenzie
“We’re here.” Beau pulls up out front of a ranch-style house two days later. After getting the all-clear to leave the hospital, we waited until early morning the next day to leave town, driving the four-hour drive straight through.
“You ready?” He turns the van off and releases his seat belt.
“These people, I can trust them?” I ask him again. We’ve already gone over it on the drive here. I know he said I can trust them, but in the last two days, I’ve become comfortable with Beau. The thought of leaving him and trusting new people freaks me out.
“They’ll take good care of you,” he assures me before exiting the van, moving around the front and opening my door. With my arm in a cast, and my chest wrapped tight, I need help to move down.
“I’m going to help you down again.” He steps in closer when I nod, then wraps his arm around my waist. “Careful,” he whispers, lifting me into his arms. I wince slightly from the movement as my feet hit the ground.
A man and woman come down the stairs to greet us as we move around the van, both older than us. They smile and wait for us to meet them. They look like a sweet couple, but I hang back a little, still unsure.
“How you doing, Larry?” Beau reaches forward and takes the man’s hand in a handshake.
“Doin’ good, Beau.” Larry looks to be around sixty years old. As tall as Beau, he has graying hair, a small potbelly, but a warm smile.
“Mary.” Beau nods to the woman and she gives him a genuine smile. Mary looks a little younger than her husband, maybe in her fifties. Her short dark hair is blow-dried in a bob that kicks out at the ends and her face is free of makeup. She reminds me of my nan. Beautiful in a reserved kind of way.
“Mackenzie, this is Larry and Mary Canter. They’re gonna be helping you for the next week.”
“Hi.” I offer a wave and attempt a smile, but it feels dishonest.
“It’s lovely to meet you, Mackenzie.” Mary steps forward, but I pull back instantly before she can get too close.
“It’s okay, Mackenzie.” Beau turns his body toward me and lowers his voice. “You have to trust me. They’re good people.” I let out a shaky breath and relax a little at his words.
“It’s nice to meet you, too.” I look back up at Mary and decide to trust Beau. He hasn’t let me down yet. Why would he start now?
“If you want to come with me, I can show you around.” Mary steps back and motions toward the front door. I look back at Beau, unsure if this will be our goodbye or if he will be hanging around a little while longer.
“Go ahead, I’ll wait until you’re finished.” Beau answers my silent question and I relax, following Mary up the porch steps and into her home. She keeps her pace slow, allowing me to keep up with her easily. After my surgery, I’ve been given some good painkillers. I hadn’t taken any today, wanting to be clearheaded when I arrived here.
“So, this is the kitchen and the living area.” Mary walks me through her home, showing me the rooms I need to know. “You’re welcome to anything, anytime. The fridge is stocked and Larry likes my baking, so there’s always something to eat.” I nod, acknowledging her offer, even if I won’t take her up on it.
“I want to play a lot with you, darlin’. I’m just getting started.” He rolls back over me and covers my body with his.
“Just getting started?” I don’t know if he’s talking about sex or what’s happening between us.
“Not ready for this to end.” I hold my breath for a second as I process what I think I need to process.
“Has it started, Beau?” I ask, missing the moment we labeled what was happening. Barely twenty-four hours ago, he was fighting this, yet now he’s not ready to give it up.
“Darlin’, do you even have to ask?”
It’s not a label or even really an answer, but I’ll take it anyway.
“How can you not be exhausted right now?” I move us away from this line of questioning and settle in closer to him.
“Fucking beat, but something tells me having your naked body in my bed I’m not getting any sleep.”
“You could try.”
“Or I could fuck you. Better yet, you can fuck me.” His hands move to my waist and in one quick movement, he rolls, taking me with him. I land on top of him, his cock starting to grow as it rests at the apex of my thighs.
My eyes fall on the small skin-colored bandage on his arm and I zone in on it.
“What happened?”
“Just a scratch,” he dismisses too coolly as he rests his hands under his head and smirks up at me. “I’ll give you free play. Then I’ll take the lead.”
“You’re terrible.” I shake my head, letting it go.
“I am, but you fucking love it.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
The truth is I do. I love the way he is. Love the way he speaks, the way he treats me. I love it all and yeah it scares me. Oh, God, does it scare me. What will happen when my past finally catches up with me? Would whatever is going on between us fall apart? I want to think no, but sometimes when you grow tired of running, your fears make you insecure. They pull you down and force you to live in darkness, surrounded by whatever it is you are running away from.
I didn’t want to be like this anymore. I wanted something more. Even after everything I had done.
Maybe later I will rethink my actions, but right now this is what I want and I’m not going to overthink it. I have to trust this future is better than my past.
If anyone understands that it’s Beau.
Past Mackenzie
“We’re here.” Beau pulls up out front of a ranch-style house two days later. After getting the all-clear to leave the hospital, we waited until early morning the next day to leave town, driving the four-hour drive straight through.
“You ready?” He turns the van off and releases his seat belt.
“These people, I can trust them?” I ask him again. We’ve already gone over it on the drive here. I know he said I can trust them, but in the last two days, I’ve become comfortable with Beau. The thought of leaving him and trusting new people freaks me out.
“They’ll take good care of you,” he assures me before exiting the van, moving around the front and opening my door. With my arm in a cast, and my chest wrapped tight, I need help to move down.
“I’m going to help you down again.” He steps in closer when I nod, then wraps his arm around my waist. “Careful,” he whispers, lifting me into his arms. I wince slightly from the movement as my feet hit the ground.
A man and woman come down the stairs to greet us as we move around the van, both older than us. They smile and wait for us to meet them. They look like a sweet couple, but I hang back a little, still unsure.
“How you doing, Larry?” Beau reaches forward and takes the man’s hand in a handshake.
“Doin’ good, Beau.” Larry looks to be around sixty years old. As tall as Beau, he has graying hair, a small potbelly, but a warm smile.
“Mary.” Beau nods to the woman and she gives him a genuine smile. Mary looks a little younger than her husband, maybe in her fifties. Her short dark hair is blow-dried in a bob that kicks out at the ends and her face is free of makeup. She reminds me of my nan. Beautiful in a reserved kind of way.
“Mackenzie, this is Larry and Mary Canter. They’re gonna be helping you for the next week.”
“Hi.” I offer a wave and attempt a smile, but it feels dishonest.
“It’s lovely to meet you, Mackenzie.” Mary steps forward, but I pull back instantly before she can get too close.
“It’s okay, Mackenzie.” Beau turns his body toward me and lowers his voice. “You have to trust me. They’re good people.” I let out a shaky breath and relax a little at his words.
“It’s nice to meet you, too.” I look back up at Mary and decide to trust Beau. He hasn’t let me down yet. Why would he start now?
“If you want to come with me, I can show you around.” Mary steps back and motions toward the front door. I look back at Beau, unsure if this will be our goodbye or if he will be hanging around a little while longer.
“Go ahead, I’ll wait until you’re finished.” Beau answers my silent question and I relax, following Mary up the porch steps and into her home. She keeps her pace slow, allowing me to keep up with her easily. After my surgery, I’ve been given some good painkillers. I hadn’t taken any today, wanting to be clearheaded when I arrived here.
“So, this is the kitchen and the living area.” Mary walks me through her home, showing me the rooms I need to know. “You’re welcome to anything, anytime. The fridge is stocked and Larry likes my baking, so there’s always something to eat.” I nod, acknowledging her offer, even if I won’t take her up on it.
