We continue on the tour, my mind not really into it. I let everything pass over me, barely taking in my surroundings with the nerves still swirling around in my belly.
“Bedrooms are down here.” Mary moves us further through the house. “Yours is the last one.” We walk to the last bedroom on the right as Mary continues to talk.
“Everything you need is in here. Your own bathroom, and I’ve left clean towels on your bed,” she says as she opens the door to what will be my room while I’m here.
“Thank you,” I say, not sure how I’m going to be able to shower with my cast and ribs wrapped up, but I’ll think about it later.
“Now, can I offer you something to drink?” She steps back out of the room.
“No thank you. I think I might just go say goodbye to Beau and then take a nap. I’m really exhausted from the ride.”
“Of course, dear. You let me know if you need anything at all.” She offers a warm smile before leaving me alone. I don’t wait around; instead, I make my way back out to the front in search of Beau. He’s sitting on the front porch when I finally step back outside, talking on his phone. I hang back, not wanting to interrupt.
“Yep, I’m done here. I’m heading out now. See you soon.” He ends the call then stands, our eyes locking onto one another’s. “You settled in, darlin’?” I nod and watch him step forward slowly.
“Good. Okay, well, I gotta head out. You’re in good hands here, darlin.” He tries to reassure me once again and for the most part, he does, but I’m still hesitant.
“Thank you for everything, Beau. For saving me.” It’s not enough, but I have to give him something.
“You saved yourself, darlin’. I just gave you a helping hand.” He brushes it off as nothing and maybe for him it is. Maybe he does this sort of thing every week, but to me it’s huge.
“You’re gonna be all right, Mackenzie. You’ll heal up, get your life sorted, settle down somewhere and this will be your past.”
“He’s not going to stop looking for me, you know? I’ll always be looking over my shoulder.” I disagree with him and remind myself of the hard truth. “This won’t be my past. He won’t let it be.”
“This life isn’t easy, darlin’. I wish for your sake it was, but look at you now. Look what you’ve been living. Now look at the new chance you have right here. What’s the alternative? You want to go back? You say you can’t fight him, his connections are too strong. There is only one option here then, you gotta do what you gotta do.”
I know he’s right. I stayed too long with Chad, and I wasn’t strong enough to fight him, nor was I strong enough to leave him.
Until now.
“Well, thank you for giving me that chance.” I reach out to touch his arm, but stop mid-air and drop it back down. “I really appreciate it.”
“Listen, if you ever need anything, Mackenzie, anything, you know how to find me, okay?” he offers. I don’t reply, but I take it in as my last resort. “Anytime. You just look me up.” He takes my hand and gently squeezes it before taking the steps and moving back to his van. He doesn’t look back and I don’t watch him leave. I just step up to the porch swing, take a seat, and look out at the empty sky ahead of me.
I stay out on the porch for the rest of the day, until the blue sky turns inky black. I don’t eat dinner with Larry and Mary, my stomach still tied in knots. I don’t engage in any conversations, my mind too lost in thoughts. I just sit on their porch swing and think.
Think about what I am going to do with my life. Where I will end up. All these new possibilities and I have no idea how to process it.
I don’t think about Chad and how he would be reacting to the news I was gone. I don’t think about Heidi, my only friend left behind. And I especially don’t think about Beau, or the fact him leaving me in the middle of nowhere felt worse than leaving behind my whole life. Maybe later I will process it, but tonight I don’t want to deal. I don’t want to feel. I just want to sit.
I am free.
I have escaped.
I don’t know how long it will last, but tonight it doesn’t matter.
Nothing matters.
Twenty-Two
Beau
“Open up, Beau, I know you’re in there.” The knock on the door pulls me out of sleep and back to my living room.
Fuck, here we go.
“Kenz, wake up.” I shift her naked body off me and take stock of my surroundings. It can’t be later than six. The afternoon sun is just starting to darken the room.
“What’s happening?” Kenzie yawns, stretching her arms up over her head. Her tits push out in front of her and I have to physically stop myself from touching her.
Keep it together, man. Just get rid of Nix first.
“Nix is here. Go put some clothes on.” I help her up then watch her naked ass walk down the hall.
Fuck, I could just ignore him like I’ve done the last three days.
“Beau, I’m not fuckin’ kiddin’. Open the fuckin’ door.” Nix’s pissed-off voice reminds me why that’s not a good idea.
“Hold the fuck on. I’m coming.” I reach for my discarded jeans and step into them before heading to the door. I should have known this was coming. Judging by the constant calls I’ve been ignoring for three days, this was inevitable. Bracing myself for what’s to come, I arrange my face and pull the front door open.
“Bedrooms are down here.” Mary moves us further through the house. “Yours is the last one.” We walk to the last bedroom on the right as Mary continues to talk.
“Everything you need is in here. Your own bathroom, and I’ve left clean towels on your bed,” she says as she opens the door to what will be my room while I’m here.
“Thank you,” I say, not sure how I’m going to be able to shower with my cast and ribs wrapped up, but I’ll think about it later.
“Now, can I offer you something to drink?” She steps back out of the room.
“No thank you. I think I might just go say goodbye to Beau and then take a nap. I’m really exhausted from the ride.”
“Of course, dear. You let me know if you need anything at all.” She offers a warm smile before leaving me alone. I don’t wait around; instead, I make my way back out to the front in search of Beau. He’s sitting on the front porch when I finally step back outside, talking on his phone. I hang back, not wanting to interrupt.
“Yep, I’m done here. I’m heading out now. See you soon.” He ends the call then stands, our eyes locking onto one another’s. “You settled in, darlin’?” I nod and watch him step forward slowly.
“Good. Okay, well, I gotta head out. You’re in good hands here, darlin.” He tries to reassure me once again and for the most part, he does, but I’m still hesitant.
“Thank you for everything, Beau. For saving me.” It’s not enough, but I have to give him something.
“You saved yourself, darlin’. I just gave you a helping hand.” He brushes it off as nothing and maybe for him it is. Maybe he does this sort of thing every week, but to me it’s huge.
“You’re gonna be all right, Mackenzie. You’ll heal up, get your life sorted, settle down somewhere and this will be your past.”
“He’s not going to stop looking for me, you know? I’ll always be looking over my shoulder.” I disagree with him and remind myself of the hard truth. “This won’t be my past. He won’t let it be.”
“This life isn’t easy, darlin’. I wish for your sake it was, but look at you now. Look what you’ve been living. Now look at the new chance you have right here. What’s the alternative? You want to go back? You say you can’t fight him, his connections are too strong. There is only one option here then, you gotta do what you gotta do.”
I know he’s right. I stayed too long with Chad, and I wasn’t strong enough to fight him, nor was I strong enough to leave him.
Until now.
“Well, thank you for giving me that chance.” I reach out to touch his arm, but stop mid-air and drop it back down. “I really appreciate it.”
“Listen, if you ever need anything, Mackenzie, anything, you know how to find me, okay?” he offers. I don’t reply, but I take it in as my last resort. “Anytime. You just look me up.” He takes my hand and gently squeezes it before taking the steps and moving back to his van. He doesn’t look back and I don’t watch him leave. I just step up to the porch swing, take a seat, and look out at the empty sky ahead of me.
I stay out on the porch for the rest of the day, until the blue sky turns inky black. I don’t eat dinner with Larry and Mary, my stomach still tied in knots. I don’t engage in any conversations, my mind too lost in thoughts. I just sit on their porch swing and think.
Think about what I am going to do with my life. Where I will end up. All these new possibilities and I have no idea how to process it.
I don’t think about Chad and how he would be reacting to the news I was gone. I don’t think about Heidi, my only friend left behind. And I especially don’t think about Beau, or the fact him leaving me in the middle of nowhere felt worse than leaving behind my whole life. Maybe later I will process it, but tonight I don’t want to deal. I don’t want to feel. I just want to sit.
I am free.
I have escaped.
I don’t know how long it will last, but tonight it doesn’t matter.
Nothing matters.
Twenty-Two
Beau
“Open up, Beau, I know you’re in there.” The knock on the door pulls me out of sleep and back to my living room.
Fuck, here we go.
“Kenz, wake up.” I shift her naked body off me and take stock of my surroundings. It can’t be later than six. The afternoon sun is just starting to darken the room.
“What’s happening?” Kenzie yawns, stretching her arms up over her head. Her tits push out in front of her and I have to physically stop myself from touching her.
Keep it together, man. Just get rid of Nix first.
“Nix is here. Go put some clothes on.” I help her up then watch her naked ass walk down the hall.
Fuck, I could just ignore him like I’ve done the last three days.
“Beau, I’m not fuckin’ kiddin’. Open the fuckin’ door.” Nix’s pissed-off voice reminds me why that’s not a good idea.
“Hold the fuck on. I’m coming.” I reach for my discarded jeans and step into them before heading to the door. I should have known this was coming. Judging by the constant calls I’ve been ignoring for three days, this was inevitable. Bracing myself for what’s to come, I arrange my face and pull the front door open.
