“Then why won’t you let her go?” I asked, my voice breaking as a tear slid down my cheek.
CHAPTER 9
I thought Nathan and I were making progress until that night when I asked him why he couldn’t let go. It seemed he didn’t like my question.
What was it they say? One step forward, two steps back? Well, that was what happened. Nathan began to withdraw the next day. The change was noticeable that morning; he stopped touching me. His little touches and kisses were gone, and I mourned the loss.
He hardly talked to me, and touching was relegated to when he had to help me. Of course, his withdrawal caused me to do the same. I couldn’t count the amount of times I almost broke down crying in front of him. Maybe I should have. The times I almost lost control of my emotions, I brushed it off as being in pain and he dropped it, even though he knew my pain had lessened.
I couldn’t tell him it was because he was breaking my heart—again.
My one sentence, one question, ruined any progress we had made. I hoped it would open him up, bring us back together, but instead it was ripping us apart.
He was choosing her; he didn’t want to let her go. My heart was fracturing, the mending that had taken hold, coming undone. I was holding myself together with a frayed thread, and I wondered if I would be shattered beyond repair.
My condo felt like a strange place to be. It was foreign to me. I felt like an outsider in my own home. I wanted to scream at him to leave if he didn’t want to be there, but I couldn’t stand for him to go.
There was an invisible wall between us at night. He still slept in the bed with me, but there was no warmth.
It was strange being surrounded by people, and yet I had never felt so…alone.
My insurance company called with the estimation on my car; it was totaled. I had no idea when I was going to do it, but I had to buy a new one. Also, they suggested I contact a lawyer to go after the driver of the other vehicle for the car, compensation for the loss of work time, along with my mounting and future medical bills. In talking with the police, I found out the driver never even applied the brake before he collided with me. He hadn’t seen the light because he was texting.
Being without a car was one of the many reasons, my injuries being the greatest, as to why Nathan would need to drive me to work upon my return.
Nathan offered to help me look for a new car as had Andrew. Though I thought Andrew won in the enthusiasm category; he was researching for days.
I was allowed to return to work at a reduced schedule, despite Nathan’s protests that I should stay home for another week. I was happy to be getting out of the house and returning to some sort of schedule. I’d spent over a week at the hospital and two at home, and my case of cabin fever was worsened by Nathan’s new despondent mood.
We both agreed it was plausible for Nathan to drive me in the morning as we lived in the same building, and I no longer had a car, therefore no one would be suspicious. Only a few days prior I was granted permission to start using the crutches, though it was restricted to use in my condo for the first week. My doctor didn’t want me using them too much due to the exertion, which left me with the wheelchair to get around outside and at work.
On my first day back we pulled up to our office building, surrounded by a deafening silence and an awkward tension filling the air between us. It was broken as Nathan got out and brought me my wheelchair from the trunk. He opened my door and leaned in to pick me up, placing me in the chair.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine,” I replied, and we made our way into the building.
We entered and headed toward the elevators. An uncomfortable silence seemed to follow and remain with us in the small space, and I began to wonder if he would ever talk to me again. The elevator pinged when we reached our floor, and Nathan pushed me out.
“Welcome back, Delilah!” Libby, the receptionist, greeted as we exited the elevator.
“Thanks, Libby.” I waved as we rounded the corner. She was always such a sweetie.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m going to head to the office,” Nathan said, interrupting us.
“Okay. Thanks, Nathan.” I turned my attention back to Libby.
Libby watched him walk away and smiled at me. “That was nice of him to bring you in.”
“It is. Since I can’t drive, and no longer have a car.”
“Yeah, you should be thankful,” a familiar voice sneered from behind me.
My jaw clenched as I remembered the Boob Squad. Oh, how I hadn’t missed them.
“Very thankful,” I said, trying hard to smile and not tell Jennifer to stick it where the sun didn’t f**king shine. I’d had a shitty past couple days, and was happy to be back. She didn’t want to mess with me – I was fresh off the loony bin.
“He’s being nice to you, but I wouldn’t let it get to your head. Nathan would have no interest in someone like you.” Kelly looked down at me in disgust.
Try as I might to ignore her, I felt the sting. Her words were hitting a little too close to home.
“Someone like me? What is that supposed to mean?” I hoped my distaste was obvious in my expression. Someone who didn’t have the fat removed from her thighs only to be deposited into her boobs? Or someone who used her brain for something other than housing an occasional hat? They probably couldn’t go out into the sun anyway; it would fry their unholy she-devil skin.
Jennifer straightened, an evil little smile creeping up on her vile red lips. “Plain. You have little personality, okay in looks, nothing much to offer. Nathan is above you. He belongs with someone of his caliber. Someone like me.”
“You’re out of your league with him, so I wouldn’t even think about it, if I were you,” Tiffany added.
Even with their cruel words clawing at my insides, it was difficult to keep my laughter at bay from their comments. Nathan wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole. “He’s been here for almost six months, if he wanted you in the least bit, he would have gone after you by now.”
Tiffany took on the same stance as Jennifer, joining in her upturned nose and assumed entitlement. “It’s because of the fraternization rule.”
I snapped, glaring up at them and their stupidity. “Fuck the fraternization rule. If a guy really wants you, that’s what he’d say. He hasn’t said it, hasn’t approached you. He doesn’t want you. Why don’t you leave him alone and quit barging in while we are trying to work? It’s obvious your flirtations are unnoticed and unwanted.” Wanting to throw more salt in the wound and also take a jab at Nathan I added, “Maybe he’s g*y. Or maybe silicone doesn’t appeal to him? I’ve heard he doesn’t like plastic people. Either way – sounds like neither of you are on his radar.”
CHAPTER 9
I thought Nathan and I were making progress until that night when I asked him why he couldn’t let go. It seemed he didn’t like my question.
What was it they say? One step forward, two steps back? Well, that was what happened. Nathan began to withdraw the next day. The change was noticeable that morning; he stopped touching me. His little touches and kisses were gone, and I mourned the loss.
He hardly talked to me, and touching was relegated to when he had to help me. Of course, his withdrawal caused me to do the same. I couldn’t count the amount of times I almost broke down crying in front of him. Maybe I should have. The times I almost lost control of my emotions, I brushed it off as being in pain and he dropped it, even though he knew my pain had lessened.
I couldn’t tell him it was because he was breaking my heart—again.
My one sentence, one question, ruined any progress we had made. I hoped it would open him up, bring us back together, but instead it was ripping us apart.
He was choosing her; he didn’t want to let her go. My heart was fracturing, the mending that had taken hold, coming undone. I was holding myself together with a frayed thread, and I wondered if I would be shattered beyond repair.
My condo felt like a strange place to be. It was foreign to me. I felt like an outsider in my own home. I wanted to scream at him to leave if he didn’t want to be there, but I couldn’t stand for him to go.
There was an invisible wall between us at night. He still slept in the bed with me, but there was no warmth.
It was strange being surrounded by people, and yet I had never felt so…alone.
My insurance company called with the estimation on my car; it was totaled. I had no idea when I was going to do it, but I had to buy a new one. Also, they suggested I contact a lawyer to go after the driver of the other vehicle for the car, compensation for the loss of work time, along with my mounting and future medical bills. In talking with the police, I found out the driver never even applied the brake before he collided with me. He hadn’t seen the light because he was texting.
Being without a car was one of the many reasons, my injuries being the greatest, as to why Nathan would need to drive me to work upon my return.
Nathan offered to help me look for a new car as had Andrew. Though I thought Andrew won in the enthusiasm category; he was researching for days.
I was allowed to return to work at a reduced schedule, despite Nathan’s protests that I should stay home for another week. I was happy to be getting out of the house and returning to some sort of schedule. I’d spent over a week at the hospital and two at home, and my case of cabin fever was worsened by Nathan’s new despondent mood.
We both agreed it was plausible for Nathan to drive me in the morning as we lived in the same building, and I no longer had a car, therefore no one would be suspicious. Only a few days prior I was granted permission to start using the crutches, though it was restricted to use in my condo for the first week. My doctor didn’t want me using them too much due to the exertion, which left me with the wheelchair to get around outside and at work.
On my first day back we pulled up to our office building, surrounded by a deafening silence and an awkward tension filling the air between us. It was broken as Nathan got out and brought me my wheelchair from the trunk. He opened my door and leaned in to pick me up, placing me in the chair.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine,” I replied, and we made our way into the building.
We entered and headed toward the elevators. An uncomfortable silence seemed to follow and remain with us in the small space, and I began to wonder if he would ever talk to me again. The elevator pinged when we reached our floor, and Nathan pushed me out.
“Welcome back, Delilah!” Libby, the receptionist, greeted as we exited the elevator.
“Thanks, Libby.” I waved as we rounded the corner. She was always such a sweetie.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m going to head to the office,” Nathan said, interrupting us.
“Okay. Thanks, Nathan.” I turned my attention back to Libby.
Libby watched him walk away and smiled at me. “That was nice of him to bring you in.”
“It is. Since I can’t drive, and no longer have a car.”
“Yeah, you should be thankful,” a familiar voice sneered from behind me.
My jaw clenched as I remembered the Boob Squad. Oh, how I hadn’t missed them.
“Very thankful,” I said, trying hard to smile and not tell Jennifer to stick it where the sun didn’t f**king shine. I’d had a shitty past couple days, and was happy to be back. She didn’t want to mess with me – I was fresh off the loony bin.
“He’s being nice to you, but I wouldn’t let it get to your head. Nathan would have no interest in someone like you.” Kelly looked down at me in disgust.
Try as I might to ignore her, I felt the sting. Her words were hitting a little too close to home.
“Someone like me? What is that supposed to mean?” I hoped my distaste was obvious in my expression. Someone who didn’t have the fat removed from her thighs only to be deposited into her boobs? Or someone who used her brain for something other than housing an occasional hat? They probably couldn’t go out into the sun anyway; it would fry their unholy she-devil skin.
Jennifer straightened, an evil little smile creeping up on her vile red lips. “Plain. You have little personality, okay in looks, nothing much to offer. Nathan is above you. He belongs with someone of his caliber. Someone like me.”
“You’re out of your league with him, so I wouldn’t even think about it, if I were you,” Tiffany added.
Even with their cruel words clawing at my insides, it was difficult to keep my laughter at bay from their comments. Nathan wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole. “He’s been here for almost six months, if he wanted you in the least bit, he would have gone after you by now.”
Tiffany took on the same stance as Jennifer, joining in her upturned nose and assumed entitlement. “It’s because of the fraternization rule.”
I snapped, glaring up at them and their stupidity. “Fuck the fraternization rule. If a guy really wants you, that’s what he’d say. He hasn’t said it, hasn’t approached you. He doesn’t want you. Why don’t you leave him alone and quit barging in while we are trying to work? It’s obvious your flirtations are unnoticed and unwanted.” Wanting to throw more salt in the wound and also take a jab at Nathan I added, “Maybe he’s g*y. Or maybe silicone doesn’t appeal to him? I’ve heard he doesn’t like plastic people. Either way – sounds like neither of you are on his radar.”
