“How do you know what she would have wanted?” Nathan asked with a scowl on his face.
Jack’s expression faded. “Because that was her nature. She always wanted you to be happy.”
“It’s so hard,” Nathan said. The pain was evident in his voice.
“Why?” Jack asked.
“Why is she dead, Jack? Why is your daughter buried six feet under?”
Jack sighed. “Because there are bad people in the world, Nate. You can’t control what they do. No one can, so we deal with it and move on.”
CHAPTER 13
Jack’s reveal still had me in shock days later. Not only did he know about Nathan and me, he orchestrated the entire thing. He said it was still going to be a few weeks before the new policy rolled out, and even then, Nathan and I were not safe. It allowed two people to be in a relationship as long as they were not in the same section, such as Nathan and me, or directly over someone.
So, we would remain in hiding until we figured out what to do professionally. Overall, we thought it best to stay as is—secretive about our relationship. We didn’t need any added stress at the time.
Nathan was acting strange. He had an overwhelming desire for me to see the remodeling of his condo. I reminded him I’d seen it a few weeks prior with Erin, so I didn’t know what he was going on about, but followed anyway.
He held the door open and I hobbled through, where he picked me up and headed toward the darkened living room. He set me down and I turned in his arms, only to be blinded by the light coming on and a loud “Surprise!”
Standing in Nathan’s condo were all my friends and my family smiling and awaiting my response: Teresa and Armando, Caroline and Ian, George and Sarah, Erin and Trent along with their little boys, and Andrew. I was stunned speechless, as well as confused until I looked to see a huge banner hanging above the mantle that said “Happy 30th birthday, Lila! We love you!”
It was my birthday? I hadn’t even noticed, like every one that came before.
I looked around the room and found a beautiful cake decorated in varying shades of red from wine to pink, a table full of gifts, and one full of food and drinks. There were even party hats which I had no doubt were Erin’s doing. Best of all, the walls were sans holes.
I was so overwhelmed; my lower lip began trembling, my eyes stung with tears, and I turned into Nathan’s chest. My fingers clenched around the fabric of his shirt, and he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight, placing a kiss on the top of my head.
“Happy birthday, Honeybear,” he said.
The tears left my eyes, slipping down my cheeks.
Everyone came over, and Nathan released me so I could give them all hugs. They all wished me Happy Birthday, told me they loved me, and were happy I was better.
We all had a wonderful evening, my first birthday party…ever. We ate, drank, told stories, laughed, drank some more, opened presents, and enjoyed each other’s company. It was the perfect celebration.
I was presented with the beautifully decorated birthday cake, another first, and blew out the candles, making my very first birthday wish. I knew what I asked for was a lot, but I also figured I had twenty-nine previous years of wishes I was due.
Nathan woke with a start, jostling the bed. I was blinded when he turned on the light, and he began a frantic search in the nightstand.
“Nathan?” He jumped from the bed with the dream journal Dr. Morgenson had given to us in his hand.
“I’ll be back soon,” he said, walking out into the living room. I lay back down and tried to get to sleep, but I tossed and turned with worry.
Sniffles echoed off the walls, cutting through the silence of my condo. He was crying.
I must have fallen asleep not long after because an hour later, Nathan was shaking me awake. I shifted to face him. The expression he wore confused me; it was triumphant yet filled with sadness. In his hand was the journal.
“I need you to read this,” he said, motioning to the book in his hand. “I need you to know.”
My eyes blurred, and I tried to focus to grab hold of it, but couldn’t. It was only four in the morning, after all.
“Will you read it to me?” I asked.
He nodded and slid onto the bed next to me, and I curled into his side as he began to read.
The world always seems to stay the same, but a person grows and evolves constantly. From infant, to adult, and beyond. When you are younger, you’re invincible, but it only takes one act to realize you are far from it and one act can destroy you.
I was dreaming. God and the Devil were playing a game of Chess, and I was the pieces. Each time a piece was taken, it was destroyed, turned to dust. Like in Wizard Chess in Harry Potter.
A dark version of me, cloaked in shadow, was me at the point between the time in which I lost Grace and met Lila; he was played by the Devil. A light version that reminded me of myself fresh out of college, full of life, was being played by God.
In my sleepiness I confirmed that Nathan had much more interesting dreams than I did.
I noticed the hand of the King on the light side had a red string wrapped around his pinkie finger, the end dangling down, and the dark version had a pile of ash in his hand.
It was an odd dream to have; I’m not religious. It was even odder when I realized all the pieces were protecting not the King, but the Queen. The dark me had the morbid decaying Grace, while the light me had a broken winged angel Lila.
My mind woke more at his last sentence. Me, an angel? I was nowhere near angelic, broken wing or not.
If I really thought hard, it wasn’t that odd.
I watched as they strategically played the pieces. Pawns were lost, bishops and rooks broken to bits, and castles crumbled to the ground until all that was left in the middle of the board were the two Kings. The Queens stayed locked in place. The rules were different, but I supposed God and the Devil could make up whatever rules they wanted.
The ultimate showdown began, and I watched my two halves fight for survival.
There was a loud, splintering crash, and when the dust settled, the victor was revealed.
I was awake, my mind immersed in his story. My body tensed as Nathan paused. We had reached the climax. I knew, just knew, the outcome would define our future.
The light.
I stopped breathing, my body frozen, curled up against his. Was it true?
God won and beat the Devil. He laughed jovially while the Devil cursed.
The light King ran across the board to Grace and took her to God, begging him to let her in and keep her safe. God agreed, saying her soul was already safe and she was happy in Heaven. He said he had a message from her.
Jack’s expression faded. “Because that was her nature. She always wanted you to be happy.”
“It’s so hard,” Nathan said. The pain was evident in his voice.
“Why?” Jack asked.
“Why is she dead, Jack? Why is your daughter buried six feet under?”
Jack sighed. “Because there are bad people in the world, Nate. You can’t control what they do. No one can, so we deal with it and move on.”
CHAPTER 13
Jack’s reveal still had me in shock days later. Not only did he know about Nathan and me, he orchestrated the entire thing. He said it was still going to be a few weeks before the new policy rolled out, and even then, Nathan and I were not safe. It allowed two people to be in a relationship as long as they were not in the same section, such as Nathan and me, or directly over someone.
So, we would remain in hiding until we figured out what to do professionally. Overall, we thought it best to stay as is—secretive about our relationship. We didn’t need any added stress at the time.
Nathan was acting strange. He had an overwhelming desire for me to see the remodeling of his condo. I reminded him I’d seen it a few weeks prior with Erin, so I didn’t know what he was going on about, but followed anyway.
He held the door open and I hobbled through, where he picked me up and headed toward the darkened living room. He set me down and I turned in his arms, only to be blinded by the light coming on and a loud “Surprise!”
Standing in Nathan’s condo were all my friends and my family smiling and awaiting my response: Teresa and Armando, Caroline and Ian, George and Sarah, Erin and Trent along with their little boys, and Andrew. I was stunned speechless, as well as confused until I looked to see a huge banner hanging above the mantle that said “Happy 30th birthday, Lila! We love you!”
It was my birthday? I hadn’t even noticed, like every one that came before.
I looked around the room and found a beautiful cake decorated in varying shades of red from wine to pink, a table full of gifts, and one full of food and drinks. There were even party hats which I had no doubt were Erin’s doing. Best of all, the walls were sans holes.
I was so overwhelmed; my lower lip began trembling, my eyes stung with tears, and I turned into Nathan’s chest. My fingers clenched around the fabric of his shirt, and he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight, placing a kiss on the top of my head.
“Happy birthday, Honeybear,” he said.
The tears left my eyes, slipping down my cheeks.
Everyone came over, and Nathan released me so I could give them all hugs. They all wished me Happy Birthday, told me they loved me, and were happy I was better.
We all had a wonderful evening, my first birthday party…ever. We ate, drank, told stories, laughed, drank some more, opened presents, and enjoyed each other’s company. It was the perfect celebration.
I was presented with the beautifully decorated birthday cake, another first, and blew out the candles, making my very first birthday wish. I knew what I asked for was a lot, but I also figured I had twenty-nine previous years of wishes I was due.
Nathan woke with a start, jostling the bed. I was blinded when he turned on the light, and he began a frantic search in the nightstand.
“Nathan?” He jumped from the bed with the dream journal Dr. Morgenson had given to us in his hand.
“I’ll be back soon,” he said, walking out into the living room. I lay back down and tried to get to sleep, but I tossed and turned with worry.
Sniffles echoed off the walls, cutting through the silence of my condo. He was crying.
I must have fallen asleep not long after because an hour later, Nathan was shaking me awake. I shifted to face him. The expression he wore confused me; it was triumphant yet filled with sadness. In his hand was the journal.
“I need you to read this,” he said, motioning to the book in his hand. “I need you to know.”
My eyes blurred, and I tried to focus to grab hold of it, but couldn’t. It was only four in the morning, after all.
“Will you read it to me?” I asked.
He nodded and slid onto the bed next to me, and I curled into his side as he began to read.
The world always seems to stay the same, but a person grows and evolves constantly. From infant, to adult, and beyond. When you are younger, you’re invincible, but it only takes one act to realize you are far from it and one act can destroy you.
I was dreaming. God and the Devil were playing a game of Chess, and I was the pieces. Each time a piece was taken, it was destroyed, turned to dust. Like in Wizard Chess in Harry Potter.
A dark version of me, cloaked in shadow, was me at the point between the time in which I lost Grace and met Lila; he was played by the Devil. A light version that reminded me of myself fresh out of college, full of life, was being played by God.
In my sleepiness I confirmed that Nathan had much more interesting dreams than I did.
I noticed the hand of the King on the light side had a red string wrapped around his pinkie finger, the end dangling down, and the dark version had a pile of ash in his hand.
It was an odd dream to have; I’m not religious. It was even odder when I realized all the pieces were protecting not the King, but the Queen. The dark me had the morbid decaying Grace, while the light me had a broken winged angel Lila.
My mind woke more at his last sentence. Me, an angel? I was nowhere near angelic, broken wing or not.
If I really thought hard, it wasn’t that odd.
I watched as they strategically played the pieces. Pawns were lost, bishops and rooks broken to bits, and castles crumbled to the ground until all that was left in the middle of the board were the two Kings. The Queens stayed locked in place. The rules were different, but I supposed God and the Devil could make up whatever rules they wanted.
The ultimate showdown began, and I watched my two halves fight for survival.
There was a loud, splintering crash, and when the dust settled, the victor was revealed.
I was awake, my mind immersed in his story. My body tensed as Nathan paused. We had reached the climax. I knew, just knew, the outcome would define our future.
The light.
I stopped breathing, my body frozen, curled up against his. Was it true?
God won and beat the Devil. He laughed jovially while the Devil cursed.
The light King ran across the board to Grace and took her to God, begging him to let her in and keep her safe. God agreed, saying her soul was already safe and she was happy in Heaven. He said he had a message from her.
