“Be safe,” God spoke in Grace’s voice. “Be happy. Live, Nathan. Live for the both of us, make the most of it. Love with everything you have, and don’t be afraid. Fear is a product of the Devil. Don’t let him rule you.”
He made her a promise of affirmation before rushing over to the broken angel, taking her into his arms and declaring his love and life to her. She too, had a red string hanging down from her finger, and when she took his hand the two strings came together, binding them as one before disappearing in a flash of brilliant light.
Tears pricked my eyes when he spoke of the red string.
The red string of fate: soul mates. Destined lovers regardless of time, place, or circumstance.
When I awoke, I reflected on the dream and realized why it was that Lila was the angel. My time with Grace was up; her thread of life was gone. Lila was hope. She was love, and she was life. She would be my resurrection, and in this new life, the fates would bind me to her and she would make me whole.
I lay frozen in his arms, taking in his dream, lost in thought.
Could it really be this was Nathan’s mind saying enough? That he had overcome his final hurdle needed to be over Grace? He had reached acceptance after all this time?
My head moved up to look at him, hoping what I understood his dream to mean was indeed the truth.
“I will always love Grace, and I will always hurt when I think about her and my son, but they’re gone now. You are my everything, my future, my Lila. I’m in love with you. I’m so in love with you I can’t even imagine my life without you. You fill my heart and make me whole. No one will ever compare to you or the way you make me feel. If she met me now, I doubt either one of us would want the other. She couldn’t handle the real me the way you can. With you, I am reborn.”
I stared at him in disbelief, uncertain of how to react or what to say.
There was only one thing I knew for certain: birthday wishes really do come true. My mind was spinning with the dream he had read to me.
“I don’t need you to say anything,” he started, his eyes gazing into mine. “I needed you to hear me out. I’m ready to let go of some of the guilt that holds me back.”
Holy. Shit. I wanted to pinch myself to make sure I was awake. Was it for real, or was it simply a dream?
My emotions were all over the place. Was this an impulse? Would he retreat back into himself in the morning?
I really didn’t want to get my hopes up, but his past behavior left me guarded.
“Take your time. I want you to think about what I said. We’ll talk more in the morning,” he said, kissing my forehead and snuggling back under the covers, lingering longer than normal. He pressed a few more light kisses at my temples as he pulled me close.
My forehead tingled as it always did when he kissed me there. Sweet and simple, a contrast from his kisses in the beginning of our relationship, but it held so much more meaning than the demanding ones. I liked the demanding ones as well, a lot.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t sleep. My mind replayed his dream over and over again until I eventually drifted off.
I still hadn’t figured out anything the next morning. I wanted to believe it with every fiber of my being, but the sting of the past kept rearing its ugly head.
We got dressed and the air was different. Very tense, but also uplifting.
“I want to talk to Darren about your dream.” He nodded in understanding. “I just…I…”
Nathan stepped toward me and leaned forward, placing a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll give him a call and set up an appointment today.”
I sighed with relief. I didn’t need to say it; he knew because he felt the same way. We needed Dr. Morgenson’s help for something that big and momentous.
As soon as we entered the office, he was on the phone, making an appointment. The effort did not go unnoticed. He wanted it, needed it, as much as I did.
A short while later a text message popped up on my cell phone.
Couldn’t make appointment for today, so meeting him for dinner at Erin and Trent’s. Will talk then.
Dinner couldn’t come soon enough.
CHAPTER 14
It was almost seven when we pulled up to Trent and Erin’s home, a large two story in a nice suburban neighborhood. The walk up to the door was tense because we both knew Nathan’s dream held so much significance and were in desperate need of Darren’s guidance. It seemed like we couldn’t do anything without his input anymore; we didn’t want to screw things up again.
Erin answered the door, her bright smile slipping as she took in our appearance. I was sure we looked as off as we felt. “Hope you two are hungry.”
Neither of us said anything, but our fingers were intertwined as we stepped through the doorway.
Trent came down the stairs, his gaze moving from us to Erin, who shrugged her shoulders.
“Good to see you guys.” Trent stepped forward to give us a hug.
We moved to the dining room to find Darren sitting with Alec and Brennan, going over Alec’s latest drawings. Trent’s parents were on their way over to take the kids to dinner so there would be no interruptions.
Darren studied us, most likely trying to understand our behavior and need to see him, but he stayed with small talk for the moment. Erin and Trent looked at each other a couple times, but didn’t say anything. It didn’t seem strange to us, but maybe that was because we were in it together and knew what was going on.
We sat at the table and Erin passed out margaritas, which I began devouring. I was going to need it to get through the night. Nathan glared at the drink in my hand but didn’t say anything. I could tell he was mentally going through what medications I was still on. After a few minutes, he must have been satisfied the yumminess in my hand wouldn’t interact much with any of them, and the scowl left his handsome face.
He picked up the glass to join in, and I pulled it from his grip. He turned to me, surprised. “You’re on pain meds, and you’re driving.”
He gave a heavy sigh and nodded, while I moved the glass to my side of the table, happy to have the refill I was going to need.
Nathan had good days and bad days in regard to the amount of pain he was in, but the last few weeks the bad outweighed the good. Taking care of me and carrying me around, had taken its toll on his glued together body. The stress of it all had him in more pain than normal. Though it had been lessening since I’d become more independent, it still made me feel a little guilty I was the reason he ached.
He made her a promise of affirmation before rushing over to the broken angel, taking her into his arms and declaring his love and life to her. She too, had a red string hanging down from her finger, and when she took his hand the two strings came together, binding them as one before disappearing in a flash of brilliant light.
Tears pricked my eyes when he spoke of the red string.
The red string of fate: soul mates. Destined lovers regardless of time, place, or circumstance.
When I awoke, I reflected on the dream and realized why it was that Lila was the angel. My time with Grace was up; her thread of life was gone. Lila was hope. She was love, and she was life. She would be my resurrection, and in this new life, the fates would bind me to her and she would make me whole.
I lay frozen in his arms, taking in his dream, lost in thought.
Could it really be this was Nathan’s mind saying enough? That he had overcome his final hurdle needed to be over Grace? He had reached acceptance after all this time?
My head moved up to look at him, hoping what I understood his dream to mean was indeed the truth.
“I will always love Grace, and I will always hurt when I think about her and my son, but they’re gone now. You are my everything, my future, my Lila. I’m in love with you. I’m so in love with you I can’t even imagine my life without you. You fill my heart and make me whole. No one will ever compare to you or the way you make me feel. If she met me now, I doubt either one of us would want the other. She couldn’t handle the real me the way you can. With you, I am reborn.”
I stared at him in disbelief, uncertain of how to react or what to say.
There was only one thing I knew for certain: birthday wishes really do come true. My mind was spinning with the dream he had read to me.
“I don’t need you to say anything,” he started, his eyes gazing into mine. “I needed you to hear me out. I’m ready to let go of some of the guilt that holds me back.”
Holy. Shit. I wanted to pinch myself to make sure I was awake. Was it for real, or was it simply a dream?
My emotions were all over the place. Was this an impulse? Would he retreat back into himself in the morning?
I really didn’t want to get my hopes up, but his past behavior left me guarded.
“Take your time. I want you to think about what I said. We’ll talk more in the morning,” he said, kissing my forehead and snuggling back under the covers, lingering longer than normal. He pressed a few more light kisses at my temples as he pulled me close.
My forehead tingled as it always did when he kissed me there. Sweet and simple, a contrast from his kisses in the beginning of our relationship, but it held so much more meaning than the demanding ones. I liked the demanding ones as well, a lot.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t sleep. My mind replayed his dream over and over again until I eventually drifted off.
I still hadn’t figured out anything the next morning. I wanted to believe it with every fiber of my being, but the sting of the past kept rearing its ugly head.
We got dressed and the air was different. Very tense, but also uplifting.
“I want to talk to Darren about your dream.” He nodded in understanding. “I just…I…”
Nathan stepped toward me and leaned forward, placing a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll give him a call and set up an appointment today.”
I sighed with relief. I didn’t need to say it; he knew because he felt the same way. We needed Dr. Morgenson’s help for something that big and momentous.
As soon as we entered the office, he was on the phone, making an appointment. The effort did not go unnoticed. He wanted it, needed it, as much as I did.
A short while later a text message popped up on my cell phone.
Couldn’t make appointment for today, so meeting him for dinner at Erin and Trent’s. Will talk then.
Dinner couldn’t come soon enough.
CHAPTER 14
It was almost seven when we pulled up to Trent and Erin’s home, a large two story in a nice suburban neighborhood. The walk up to the door was tense because we both knew Nathan’s dream held so much significance and were in desperate need of Darren’s guidance. It seemed like we couldn’t do anything without his input anymore; we didn’t want to screw things up again.
Erin answered the door, her bright smile slipping as she took in our appearance. I was sure we looked as off as we felt. “Hope you two are hungry.”
Neither of us said anything, but our fingers were intertwined as we stepped through the doorway.
Trent came down the stairs, his gaze moving from us to Erin, who shrugged her shoulders.
“Good to see you guys.” Trent stepped forward to give us a hug.
We moved to the dining room to find Darren sitting with Alec and Brennan, going over Alec’s latest drawings. Trent’s parents were on their way over to take the kids to dinner so there would be no interruptions.
Darren studied us, most likely trying to understand our behavior and need to see him, but he stayed with small talk for the moment. Erin and Trent looked at each other a couple times, but didn’t say anything. It didn’t seem strange to us, but maybe that was because we were in it together and knew what was going on.
We sat at the table and Erin passed out margaritas, which I began devouring. I was going to need it to get through the night. Nathan glared at the drink in my hand but didn’t say anything. I could tell he was mentally going through what medications I was still on. After a few minutes, he must have been satisfied the yumminess in my hand wouldn’t interact much with any of them, and the scowl left his handsome face.
He picked up the glass to join in, and I pulled it from his grip. He turned to me, surprised. “You’re on pain meds, and you’re driving.”
He gave a heavy sigh and nodded, while I moved the glass to my side of the table, happy to have the refill I was going to need.
Nathan had good days and bad days in regard to the amount of pain he was in, but the last few weeks the bad outweighed the good. Taking care of me and carrying me around, had taken its toll on his glued together body. The stress of it all had him in more pain than normal. Though it had been lessening since I’d become more independent, it still made me feel a little guilty I was the reason he ached.
