Laces and Lace
Page 152

And he would love his own little human just like he knew Lacey would.
Kissing her hand again, he grinned over at her before pulling into the driveway. “Great night, I think.”
She grinned back, her face blissful as she nodded. “Yeah, I had such a blast. I just love that family. Really. Good people.”
“For sure,” he agreed as he shut the car off and got out. Running around the car, he helped her out and then into the house. As he hung their coats, he wondered if she had considered what they had talked about before. He hadn’t brought it up in some time; maybe it was time to try to talk about it again. As much as she may think they were rushing it, he didn’t think so. They were getting older, and he wanted to enjoy kids while he was young enough to do it. He didn’t want to be an old dad, unable to play hockey with his boy. He wanted to do it soon, and he hoped that she did too.
“Hey, wife,” he said and she turned around, grinning as she took steps backward to the kitchen. She looked positively beautiful. She was meant to be in this house, with their children running around them. It was going to be perfect.
“Hey, husband,” she answered back, her face bright and happy. It was the first time in weeks he’d seen her fully smile at him like that. It reminded him of the days they got married and when they bought the house. It was her true, from-the-heart smile. The one he was completely in love with. The one she blessed only him with.
“The kids are great, huh?” he asked, following her into the kitchen.
She nodded earnestly. “Yes, I love them dearly. The last couple times I’ve been there, I just feel at home. Elli is a great host, I think.”
“True, she is. Quinn took to you, hard-core,” he said as she handed him a bottle of water.
Her face lit up as she said, “Oh, I know, he’s my little sweetheart. I just want to squish his cheeks! He looks just like Elli, but then dark like Shea. It’s kinda awesome how adorable all of them are. A great mix of both of them.”
“Yeah, Elli is gorgeous.”
“She sure is, and Shea is a hunk,” she said with a sneaky grin that had him smiling harder.
“Oh, is that right? You got a thing for my cap?” he asked, only halfway kidding, but her teasing smile gave her away as she wrapped her arms around him, kissing his chin.
“Nope, only got a thing for you.”
He met his lips to hers, running his hands down her back before cupping her ass. Parting for breath, he got lost in her eyes as his smile pulled at his lips. She was everything he ever wanted or needed, and the thought of having a baby with her caused his heart to come out of his chest. Squeezing her ass, he said, “I know we talked about his before and we said we’d wait, but I’d really like to discuss having kids soon,” he said. As quickly as the words left his mouth, her grin disappeared and her demeanor changed. “See, why do you do that? What?” he asked as she moved out of his arms and reached for her water.
Taking a long pull of it, she shrugged her shoulders before expelling a breath and shaking her head. “I thought we were going to let this go for a while, just enjoy us.”
“I know, but I’d like to start trying maybe, I don’t know. I just always thought we would have kids by now.”
“Sure, but that was if we’d been together for the last nine years. We’ve been apart, Karson. It’s crazy just to jump into having kids,” she said; however he couldn’t help but feel like there was more.
“I don’t think it is. We love each other. We are financially stable and we both love kids. I don’t want to be an old dad. Just waiting till now has us at forty-eight when the kid graduates. I want to be able to play with my kid, ya know?”
“Yeah, I got you,” she said with a nod, but then she shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, Karson,” she whispered. “I just don’t know.”
“What don’t you know?” he asked, eyeing her. “Why do you shut down on me every time we discuss this? I feel like you don’t want kids or something.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew that they had some truth to them. But that couldn’t be. She loved kids; she would be a great mother, but even knowing that didn’t keep his heart from beating uncontrollably as he waited for her to answer.
Looking up at him, her eyes were swimming with tears, and he didn’t understand until she whispered, “I don’t.”
His head cocked to the side, and he was sure he’d heard her wrong, even though he knew he hadn’t. He’d heard her, but he still couldn’t believe it. “What?”
Her lip wobbled as she sucked in a deep breath. “Karson, I don’t want kids.”
His eyes squinted. “What? How? Why? That doesn’t make sense. You love kids.”
She nodded as a tear rolled down her cheek, dropping over her jaw onto her blouse. “I do, very much so, but I don’t want kids of my own.”
“Why?” he asked, unable to comprehend what was happening. It didn’t make sense. “How do you love kids but not fucking want them?”
Her lip wobbled some more as she looked down at the ground. “Can we let this go?”
“Fuck no, we are talking about this. I don’t understand.”
“What is there to talk about? I don’t want to have kids. I won’t have kids! So if you want them, good luck, ’cause you aren’t having them with me,” she yelled, looking up at him, her eyes drowning in tears. They rolled down her cheeks in streams as she heaved for breath, looking away and letting a sob leave her lips. “I can’t do it.”