“We all want to see her. We’ll wait for her kin and then we’ll go in and let that girl know we love her too.” Polly squeezed Matt’s hand.
“Fine, that’ll be fine, Momma. I’m here for the night,” Matt said, distracted.
“You sure about that? You won’t get any rest with them waking her up hourly,” Nathan said. “We’ll all be here if you need to get home for work.”
“You think I’d leave her alone here? After what happened to her today? If she’d only called me before she went over there.” He sat down, head in his hands. “Why didn’t she do that?”
“Because, she’s been handling my dad—and worse for most of her life. She’s ashamed,” Tim said, after coming out of Tate’s room to sit across from Matt.
“I’m going to go in now while Beth’s still with her. Tell him. It’s been a secret too damned long,” Anne said softly. Nathan kissed her cheek as she passed him to go toward Tate’s room.
“It’s not her fault, why should she be ashamed?” Matt didn’t like feeling helpless and he really didn’t like it that she’d feel responsible for being hurt by someone else.
Tim started to speak but he seemed so angry he had to shake his head and point at Nathan.
“Look, you have no idea what it’s like to live in a family like mine. Your parents are educated, you grew up with money and prestige. Yours is one of the premier families in this area. You were all loved and cherished.
“My family wasn’t. My mother took off for weeks at a time, leaving us with my father. It’s no secret that he’s a drunk, a mean drunk. He didn’t work much so Tim and Tate had to take care of the rest of us. You can look at Tate and see she’s not his, he knows it too. She embodied my mother’s infidelity, a slap in the face every time he saw her.”
Beth and Anne came out and Nathan stopped the story. “I need to see her. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” William joined Nathan as they went to Tate.
Matt heaved a sigh and Polly dabbed her eyes.
Beth settled in next to Tim and Susan.
Tim took a swallow of his coffee and continued. “So I’m big. Big like he is and after a few memorable knock downs with my dad, he left me alone, physically anyway. But Tate is small. I had to work, to bring food in for the others. She stayed at home for the kids, to take care of them that way. So the only way she could keep safe was to fade, to stay unnoticed. Other than me, she had no one who could protect her. She had to keep her focus on the little ones, he wasn’t above hurting them to hurt her.
“I’ve seen your house at Christmas, by the way. All lit up with sparkly lights, that big tree in your front window. My house, our trailer, wasn’t on the Petal Christmas lights map. You think Tate’s reservations about your differences are silly, I know you do. And I know it’s because you don’t know any better. But at our trailer Christmases were hell. Any excuse to drink more was a disaster. We didn’t have a big shiny tree with loads of presents. We had one tree and my mother set it on fire to get back at my dad for something.
“My senior year in high school I only went enough to get my diploma. By then I worked two jobs and Tate did housework on the side for different families around town to bring in the money. I moved out and we brought all the kids with us. Tate finished school the best she could but worked every spare moment. Then she graduated and Anne did it, Nathan after her.” Tim’s voice broke.
Anne took over the telling and Matt realized what a unit they all were, with Tate at the heart. “We tried but we’d have fallen apart if it weren’t for Tate. She missed a lot of school, didn’t go to dances, didn’t date. She dumpster dived for clothes even though it got her teased. But let me tell you, none of us missed school. She wouldn’t allow it. She worked nights for Doctor Allen in Riverton so we could have healthcare.” Anne worried her lip with her teeth. “Tate isn’t heavy because she eats for stress or whatever, she’s always been curvy, and our father would use that like a bludgeon. The stuff he says to her, it’s repugnant.”
“This isn’t her first concussion,” Cassie broke in gently.
“No. I told you, she was, is, his favorite target. Most of his abuse was verbal and emotional along with neglect. But when he got really drunk and if she was around…” Anne paused, taking a breath. Her hands shook and Tim ran a hand up and down her arm. “He broke her arm when we were in elementary school. She’s had two concussions. He knocked her into a door when she shielded Nathan, she was like fifteen maybe? And another time, right after we’d moved out. Technically, Tim and Tate had no right to take us. She paid him to let her bring us with them. She doesn’t know we know that, it would kill her with guilt if she knew. She was late with the payments and he beat her pretty bad.”
Anne put her hand over her mouth, unable to finish. Nathan rejoined them with William at his side.
“That’s shame, Matt. Living with secrets, living with people who’d shake you down for money, people who harm you because you’re the face of their failures. So no, she didn’t call you. We were raised to hide it. Tate has lived her life for all of us, even for my ass**le of a father and my waste of a mother. It’s not that she didn’t trust you to protect her, it’s that no one has ever protected her ever. She’s only had herself.”
“She never said. I’ve asked her about it but she wouldn’t talk about it. I knew it had to be sort of bad, but why didn’t she tell me?”
“Fine, that’ll be fine, Momma. I’m here for the night,” Matt said, distracted.
“You sure about that? You won’t get any rest with them waking her up hourly,” Nathan said. “We’ll all be here if you need to get home for work.”
“You think I’d leave her alone here? After what happened to her today? If she’d only called me before she went over there.” He sat down, head in his hands. “Why didn’t she do that?”
“Because, she’s been handling my dad—and worse for most of her life. She’s ashamed,” Tim said, after coming out of Tate’s room to sit across from Matt.
“I’m going to go in now while Beth’s still with her. Tell him. It’s been a secret too damned long,” Anne said softly. Nathan kissed her cheek as she passed him to go toward Tate’s room.
“It’s not her fault, why should she be ashamed?” Matt didn’t like feeling helpless and he really didn’t like it that she’d feel responsible for being hurt by someone else.
Tim started to speak but he seemed so angry he had to shake his head and point at Nathan.
“Look, you have no idea what it’s like to live in a family like mine. Your parents are educated, you grew up with money and prestige. Yours is one of the premier families in this area. You were all loved and cherished.
“My family wasn’t. My mother took off for weeks at a time, leaving us with my father. It’s no secret that he’s a drunk, a mean drunk. He didn’t work much so Tim and Tate had to take care of the rest of us. You can look at Tate and see she’s not his, he knows it too. She embodied my mother’s infidelity, a slap in the face every time he saw her.”
Beth and Anne came out and Nathan stopped the story. “I need to see her. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” William joined Nathan as they went to Tate.
Matt heaved a sigh and Polly dabbed her eyes.
Beth settled in next to Tim and Susan.
Tim took a swallow of his coffee and continued. “So I’m big. Big like he is and after a few memorable knock downs with my dad, he left me alone, physically anyway. But Tate is small. I had to work, to bring food in for the others. She stayed at home for the kids, to take care of them that way. So the only way she could keep safe was to fade, to stay unnoticed. Other than me, she had no one who could protect her. She had to keep her focus on the little ones, he wasn’t above hurting them to hurt her.
“I’ve seen your house at Christmas, by the way. All lit up with sparkly lights, that big tree in your front window. My house, our trailer, wasn’t on the Petal Christmas lights map. You think Tate’s reservations about your differences are silly, I know you do. And I know it’s because you don’t know any better. But at our trailer Christmases were hell. Any excuse to drink more was a disaster. We didn’t have a big shiny tree with loads of presents. We had one tree and my mother set it on fire to get back at my dad for something.
“My senior year in high school I only went enough to get my diploma. By then I worked two jobs and Tate did housework on the side for different families around town to bring in the money. I moved out and we brought all the kids with us. Tate finished school the best she could but worked every spare moment. Then she graduated and Anne did it, Nathan after her.” Tim’s voice broke.
Anne took over the telling and Matt realized what a unit they all were, with Tate at the heart. “We tried but we’d have fallen apart if it weren’t for Tate. She missed a lot of school, didn’t go to dances, didn’t date. She dumpster dived for clothes even though it got her teased. But let me tell you, none of us missed school. She wouldn’t allow it. She worked nights for Doctor Allen in Riverton so we could have healthcare.” Anne worried her lip with her teeth. “Tate isn’t heavy because she eats for stress or whatever, she’s always been curvy, and our father would use that like a bludgeon. The stuff he says to her, it’s repugnant.”
“This isn’t her first concussion,” Cassie broke in gently.
“No. I told you, she was, is, his favorite target. Most of his abuse was verbal and emotional along with neglect. But when he got really drunk and if she was around…” Anne paused, taking a breath. Her hands shook and Tim ran a hand up and down her arm. “He broke her arm when we were in elementary school. She’s had two concussions. He knocked her into a door when she shielded Nathan, she was like fifteen maybe? And another time, right after we’d moved out. Technically, Tim and Tate had no right to take us. She paid him to let her bring us with them. She doesn’t know we know that, it would kill her with guilt if she knew. She was late with the payments and he beat her pretty bad.”
Anne put her hand over her mouth, unable to finish. Nathan rejoined them with William at his side.
“That’s shame, Matt. Living with secrets, living with people who’d shake you down for money, people who harm you because you’re the face of their failures. So no, she didn’t call you. We were raised to hide it. Tate has lived her life for all of us, even for my ass**le of a father and my waste of a mother. It’s not that she didn’t trust you to protect her, it’s that no one has ever protected her ever. She’s only had herself.”
“She never said. I’ve asked her about it but she wouldn’t talk about it. I knew it had to be sort of bad, but why didn’t she tell me?”
