I saw him flinch.
Asshole.
"I'm right, huh?" I tried to talk through my tears and my voice broke. "You thought it would be fun to fuck around with some loser girl, so you could tell all your friends that you went slumming?"
"What?" He took a step back, confusion on his face. But I didn't care. He needed to own up to it.
"It's true, isn't it?"
He didn't say a word. Just stood there. Hands in his pockets.
"Fuck you, Logan," I seethed.
I turned and walked away, but his words stopped me. "Too late," he announced. "Some other girl beat you to it."
TWENTY FOUR
Logan
My eyelids were heavy. My body ached. My head was pounding. The room was spinning. My mouth was dry. My fingers itched. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear her voice.
Amanda.
Fuck.
I'd love to say that I don't remember what went down last night, but I did. I remembered being an asshole to her. I remember doing it all on purpose, so she would leave me alone and not want to be with me, because there was no fucking way I deserved her. Not even a little.
I remembered hearing her cry in her room. She must have cried for so long, because by the time I'd passed out, she was still going.
She thought I pitied her. The second the words were out of her mouth I flinched. Not because she was right, but because I couldn't believe that she'd ever think that about herself. How the fuck could she think that I was better than her. I let it go. Maybe she needed to believe that. Maybe it would make it easier for her to accept that I didn't want her. But I did, I wanted her so fucking bad. But that was my problem to overcome. Not hers.
I'd love nothing more than to lay in bed all day but I promised Jake I'd meet him at the field. Fucking baseball.
I slowly got up and walked to the kitchen, needing something in my stomach to make this whatever-the-fuck-feeling go away. I stopped in my tracks when I heard their voices.
"Were you arguing with Logan last night?" Ethan said.
"Nope," she said quickly.
"Huh. I swear I thought I heard you and-"
"Nope," she repeated, interrupting him. "Not me. He had some other girl in there."
Why would she tell him that?
"Oh." Ethan sounded surprised. Then it was quiet for a moment, before he spoke again, "Are you all right, Dim?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I could hear the airiness in her voice, and for some fucked up reason, it pissed me off.
"I just thought that you and he-"
"Are nothing. We're nothing."
I cleared my throat to announce my presence before taking the few steps into the kitchen.
"Hey roomy!" she boomed.
I flinched from the magnified loudness in my ears.
She drowned the rest of her coffee and washed it out in the sink.
"Dude," Ethan sniffed the air, then glared at me with a disgusted look on his face. "You smell like ass. I don't care if you smoke weed or whatever—that's your thing—but don't bring that shit into the house, okay?"
I jerked my head in a nod; it was all I could do.
Amanda laughed; it was that perfect bitter laugh she uses. Then she turned away from the sink, crossed her arms and faces Ethan. "Didn't you know?" she started, her voice laced with sweetness. "You can't tell Logan what to do. You can't control him. No one can." Then she kicked off the counter and walked towards me, turning on her side so she could pass me in the doorway, only she stopped half way, her breasts rubbing on arm. "I hope she was fucking worth it," she whispered in my ear.
***
The day sucked ass.
I was hung-over as fuck and the day sucked ass.
Also, I'm an asshole.
Oh yeah, the day sucked ass.
I was sprawled on the sofa while Ethan was on the recliner. ESPN was on but neither of us was watching.
He was on his phone.
I was wishing I were dead.
Then I heard the clicking of heels get louder and louder. "I need the keys." I heard her before I saw her. She walked in front of the sofa to get to him. Her bare leg brushed my hand. My eyes finally focused enough to see that she was wearing the shortest of short dresses. It barely covered her ass. Her perfect ass. Her fucking legs. Where the hell was she going?
Ethan adjusted so he could pull the key out of his pocket. He held them out but didn't give it to her. "Where are you going dressed like that?"
"Study date," she answered.
"Dressed like that?" he quirked an eyebrow at her.
Exactly, Ethan. Good man.
"Tyson said I should start dating again." She shrugged. "Tony's going to be there."
I made a groaning sound, unaware that I was doing it until it was done. If she was trying to piss me off and make me jealous, it was working.
They both turned to face me. I focused my attention on the TV.
She grabbed the keys off him and walked past me again. This time, I pulled my hand away. If I touched her, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from doing something more. Which would be awkward for two reasons, one—she wasn't mine, and two—her brother was in the room.
So I stayed silent.
Amanda
I didn't dress this way to make Logan jealous, but the fact that it did was a bonus.
I was about to put Ethan's car in gear when my phone chimed with a text.
Logan - Why are you dressed like that for a study date? He's going to get the wrong idea.
Assface has a lot of nerve.
Me - Why? Because fuck you, that's why. Also, whatever idea he gets - he's probably right.
I peeled out of the driveway and made it a block before my phone chimed again. I pulled over and parked, already furious at whatever his reply might be. Only this time, it wasn't from Logan.
Ty - I'm sorry.
What was he talking about?
He answered before it even had a chance to ring. "Look," he said, before I could get a word in. "I'm sorry. I thought at the time I was doing the right thing. But you have every right to be pissed, I shouldn't have told him. It wasn't my story to tell. It was yours, and you kept it a secret for a reason. I feel so bad. Please don't be mad."
"Told who what, Ty?"
Logan
The front door slammed shut and a second later she was in the room. Ethan and I looked up as she entered. Our positions hadn't changed since she left. But she had—her eyes were bloodshot and the little amount of make-up she wears was smeared.
"What happened?" Ethan sat up.
She ignored him and glared at me. "He told you?" she seethed, her eyes narrowed at me.
Asshole.
"I'm right, huh?" I tried to talk through my tears and my voice broke. "You thought it would be fun to fuck around with some loser girl, so you could tell all your friends that you went slumming?"
"What?" He took a step back, confusion on his face. But I didn't care. He needed to own up to it.
"It's true, isn't it?"
He didn't say a word. Just stood there. Hands in his pockets.
"Fuck you, Logan," I seethed.
I turned and walked away, but his words stopped me. "Too late," he announced. "Some other girl beat you to it."
TWENTY FOUR
Logan
My eyelids were heavy. My body ached. My head was pounding. The room was spinning. My mouth was dry. My fingers itched. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear her voice.
Amanda.
Fuck.
I'd love to say that I don't remember what went down last night, but I did. I remembered being an asshole to her. I remember doing it all on purpose, so she would leave me alone and not want to be with me, because there was no fucking way I deserved her. Not even a little.
I remembered hearing her cry in her room. She must have cried for so long, because by the time I'd passed out, she was still going.
She thought I pitied her. The second the words were out of her mouth I flinched. Not because she was right, but because I couldn't believe that she'd ever think that about herself. How the fuck could she think that I was better than her. I let it go. Maybe she needed to believe that. Maybe it would make it easier for her to accept that I didn't want her. But I did, I wanted her so fucking bad. But that was my problem to overcome. Not hers.
I'd love nothing more than to lay in bed all day but I promised Jake I'd meet him at the field. Fucking baseball.
I slowly got up and walked to the kitchen, needing something in my stomach to make this whatever-the-fuck-feeling go away. I stopped in my tracks when I heard their voices.
"Were you arguing with Logan last night?" Ethan said.
"Nope," she said quickly.
"Huh. I swear I thought I heard you and-"
"Nope," she repeated, interrupting him. "Not me. He had some other girl in there."
Why would she tell him that?
"Oh." Ethan sounded surprised. Then it was quiet for a moment, before he spoke again, "Are you all right, Dim?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I could hear the airiness in her voice, and for some fucked up reason, it pissed me off.
"I just thought that you and he-"
"Are nothing. We're nothing."
I cleared my throat to announce my presence before taking the few steps into the kitchen.
"Hey roomy!" she boomed.
I flinched from the magnified loudness in my ears.
She drowned the rest of her coffee and washed it out in the sink.
"Dude," Ethan sniffed the air, then glared at me with a disgusted look on his face. "You smell like ass. I don't care if you smoke weed or whatever—that's your thing—but don't bring that shit into the house, okay?"
I jerked my head in a nod; it was all I could do.
Amanda laughed; it was that perfect bitter laugh she uses. Then she turned away from the sink, crossed her arms and faces Ethan. "Didn't you know?" she started, her voice laced with sweetness. "You can't tell Logan what to do. You can't control him. No one can." Then she kicked off the counter and walked towards me, turning on her side so she could pass me in the doorway, only she stopped half way, her breasts rubbing on arm. "I hope she was fucking worth it," she whispered in my ear.
***
The day sucked ass.
I was hung-over as fuck and the day sucked ass.
Also, I'm an asshole.
Oh yeah, the day sucked ass.
I was sprawled on the sofa while Ethan was on the recliner. ESPN was on but neither of us was watching.
He was on his phone.
I was wishing I were dead.
Then I heard the clicking of heels get louder and louder. "I need the keys." I heard her before I saw her. She walked in front of the sofa to get to him. Her bare leg brushed my hand. My eyes finally focused enough to see that she was wearing the shortest of short dresses. It barely covered her ass. Her perfect ass. Her fucking legs. Where the hell was she going?
Ethan adjusted so he could pull the key out of his pocket. He held them out but didn't give it to her. "Where are you going dressed like that?"
"Study date," she answered.
"Dressed like that?" he quirked an eyebrow at her.
Exactly, Ethan. Good man.
"Tyson said I should start dating again." She shrugged. "Tony's going to be there."
I made a groaning sound, unaware that I was doing it until it was done. If she was trying to piss me off and make me jealous, it was working.
They both turned to face me. I focused my attention on the TV.
She grabbed the keys off him and walked past me again. This time, I pulled my hand away. If I touched her, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from doing something more. Which would be awkward for two reasons, one—she wasn't mine, and two—her brother was in the room.
So I stayed silent.
Amanda
I didn't dress this way to make Logan jealous, but the fact that it did was a bonus.
I was about to put Ethan's car in gear when my phone chimed with a text.
Logan - Why are you dressed like that for a study date? He's going to get the wrong idea.
Assface has a lot of nerve.
Me - Why? Because fuck you, that's why. Also, whatever idea he gets - he's probably right.
I peeled out of the driveway and made it a block before my phone chimed again. I pulled over and parked, already furious at whatever his reply might be. Only this time, it wasn't from Logan.
Ty - I'm sorry.
What was he talking about?
He answered before it even had a chance to ring. "Look," he said, before I could get a word in. "I'm sorry. I thought at the time I was doing the right thing. But you have every right to be pissed, I shouldn't have told him. It wasn't my story to tell. It was yours, and you kept it a secret for a reason. I feel so bad. Please don't be mad."
"Told who what, Ty?"
Logan
The front door slammed shut and a second later she was in the room. Ethan and I looked up as she entered. Our positions hadn't changed since she left. But she had—her eyes were bloodshot and the little amount of make-up she wears was smeared.
"What happened?" Ethan sat up.
She ignored him and glared at me. "He told you?" she seethed, her eyes narrowed at me.
