She palmed my dick through my jeans.
"You got any ideas?" Jake asked.
Fucking cock-blocking Jake Andrews.
Amanda laughed and pulled away. "We can get soda and pour it on the car, get it really sticky, and then cover it with bird feed. A few hours from now it'll be covered in bird shit."
Jake threw his head back in laughter. "You guys are fucking perfect for each other."
I watched her face as a grin overtook her features. "Yeah," she said, her legs coming up on my lap. "We kind of are."
THIRTY SIX
Logan
The day after we visited Megan at Dalton, my dad called. He said that he made a few phone calls and was able to get her transferred to facility in Washington. Far away from any monsters that might chase her. He didn't tell me how he did it or where the money came from to do it and I didn't ask. I knew that if I did, he'd lie.
Apparently Micky called her the next morning to check on her. She said she was fine, but didn't want either of us calling her until she was clean or on her way to recovery. She said she was happy to email and write, but everything gets checked and filtered so it might be a while until we heard from her. That was almost a month ago.
I was still processing everything.
You'd think that finding out you had a sister, and your sister turning out to be who she was, would turn your world upside down. But it didn't. Not for me. Maybe because a part of me had so much to look forward to in the future, that I really didn't give two shits about my past.
Maybe it was because I had Amanda.
"Amanda," I said. "I'm thinking about maybe buying you a car."
I was sitting on the floor, on the edge of the bed, playing on the Xbox. She was lying on the bed, reading a book, her hand played with my hair. "I'm thinking of punching you in the junk," she said flatly.
I laughed. "So that's a no then?"
"That's a fuck no, and don't bring it up again."
"Fine, " I sighed. "What if it doesn't cost me anything?"
"You into grand theft auto?"
"No, what if I trade my car in and get two?" I threw the controller on the floor and faced her. I'd been thinking about it for a while. At first I wanted to just buy her a car, but I knew she wouldn't take it. So I asked Ethan to help me out and lie, say that he bought it for her. He said he couldn't lie to her, that she had some crazy twin sixth sense and knew whenever he was bullshitting. He couldn't even sneak food into the house without her knowing. I continued trying to convince her. "I mean, what kind of twenty year old college student needs a Mercedes? I could get a truck, it'll be bigger, and we can fool around in there more." I sat up straighter and held her face in my hands, she bit her lip, refusing to look at me. "You can get whatever you like, something small. Whatever you want. I already asked my dad, he said it would be fine."
She looked at me then, her eyes shining with tears, she swallowed loudly. I didn't know what to say, so I just kept talking. "Um, Cameron, his mom's boyfriend owns a dealership. I called him the other day, he said he'd work out a great deal for us."
Tears fell then.
"Baby, don't cry."
She didn't respond, just leaned in and kissed me.
And that's what we did, for I don't know how long, just kissed. With our hands on each other’s faces and the taste of her tears on our lips, we kissed. "I need you to make love to me now," she whispered.
So I did.
Amanda
Boys in books are so not better. Not compared to Logan Matthews.
I love him.
"So that's a yes to the car?" he asked, kissing me on the forehead. We lay naked in bed, face to face.
"That's still a no to the car. But the fact that you thought of it..." I trailed off. I didn't have words.
"Fine," he sighed like a disgruntled kid.
Then a crack of thunder whipped and rain hit hard against the roof.
He smiled. Huge. "Get dressed!" he ordered, getting out of bed and pulling on his sweats.
"What!" I sat up.
He leaned on the bed, his weight being held up by his arms. He kissed me once. "You trust me, right?" There was excitement in eyes, and for a second I let myself think of him as child. But then I remembered—he didn't have that.
"Baby?" He had a huge grin on his face, his dimples the deepest I'd ever seen them. "Please?"
I nodded, and got out of bed. He pulled something out of his desk drawer and waiting for me to finish dressing. Then he took my hand and led me to the front door, opening it wide for me to step through.
"What are you doing?" I yelled over the sound of the rain. It was thick and heavy. I could barely make out the road in front of the house. He just smiled bigger, and lifted me by my waist until my legs were wrapped around him.
"Ready?" he yelled.
"For what?"
And then he stepped into the rain. It only took a few seconds for us to be soaked. I held on to him tight. He kept walking until we were in the middle of the yard where his car was parked.
"It won't hurt you!" he yelled.
I wiped my eyes with one hand; the other was still wrapped tightly around his neck. "What?"
"The rain. It won't hurt you. I won't let it."
He placed me back on the ground, and held my face in his hands.
And then he kissed me.
In the middle of our yard, in the pouring rain, he kissed me.
And it was like no other kiss in the history of kisses.
You know in movies, where the kiss happens, and the cameras pan around in a circle, and you almost get dizzy from watching it? This was that kiss. This was the make-you-dizzy type, the I'm-giving-you-all-of-me type kiss. And I did, somewhere along the way—I'd given him all of me. And nothing in the past mattered, because Logan—he was my future. My world. My everything.
And then he pulled back. "I'm not going to let anything hurt you. Ever." His hand went in his pocket and he pulled out a gold chain, with a glass vile pendant. He opened it and held it in between us, letting the rain fall into it, and then he screwed it shut and put the chain around my neck. "And now you have this." He lifted it for me to see. "And this." He pushed me backwards until my legs hit the hood of his car and he slowly laid me down, and then he kissed me. And everything around me disappeared. The rain, the sounds, the cold of the metal underneath me. All of it disappeared. And all I could feel was Logan. His warm body pressed against me, his hands in my hair, and his mouth on mine. And then he grabbed my hand and placed it over his heart. "You and me," he shouted. "We're going to make new memories. Ones that you aren't afraid of. And it's going to be amazing."
I swallowed down my nerves.
I loved him.
I loved him so fucking much it hurts.
I opened my mouth to tell him.
"You got any ideas?" Jake asked.
Fucking cock-blocking Jake Andrews.
Amanda laughed and pulled away. "We can get soda and pour it on the car, get it really sticky, and then cover it with bird feed. A few hours from now it'll be covered in bird shit."
Jake threw his head back in laughter. "You guys are fucking perfect for each other."
I watched her face as a grin overtook her features. "Yeah," she said, her legs coming up on my lap. "We kind of are."
THIRTY SIX
Logan
The day after we visited Megan at Dalton, my dad called. He said that he made a few phone calls and was able to get her transferred to facility in Washington. Far away from any monsters that might chase her. He didn't tell me how he did it or where the money came from to do it and I didn't ask. I knew that if I did, he'd lie.
Apparently Micky called her the next morning to check on her. She said she was fine, but didn't want either of us calling her until she was clean or on her way to recovery. She said she was happy to email and write, but everything gets checked and filtered so it might be a while until we heard from her. That was almost a month ago.
I was still processing everything.
You'd think that finding out you had a sister, and your sister turning out to be who she was, would turn your world upside down. But it didn't. Not for me. Maybe because a part of me had so much to look forward to in the future, that I really didn't give two shits about my past.
Maybe it was because I had Amanda.
"Amanda," I said. "I'm thinking about maybe buying you a car."
I was sitting on the floor, on the edge of the bed, playing on the Xbox. She was lying on the bed, reading a book, her hand played with my hair. "I'm thinking of punching you in the junk," she said flatly.
I laughed. "So that's a no then?"
"That's a fuck no, and don't bring it up again."
"Fine, " I sighed. "What if it doesn't cost me anything?"
"You into grand theft auto?"
"No, what if I trade my car in and get two?" I threw the controller on the floor and faced her. I'd been thinking about it for a while. At first I wanted to just buy her a car, but I knew she wouldn't take it. So I asked Ethan to help me out and lie, say that he bought it for her. He said he couldn't lie to her, that she had some crazy twin sixth sense and knew whenever he was bullshitting. He couldn't even sneak food into the house without her knowing. I continued trying to convince her. "I mean, what kind of twenty year old college student needs a Mercedes? I could get a truck, it'll be bigger, and we can fool around in there more." I sat up straighter and held her face in my hands, she bit her lip, refusing to look at me. "You can get whatever you like, something small. Whatever you want. I already asked my dad, he said it would be fine."
She looked at me then, her eyes shining with tears, she swallowed loudly. I didn't know what to say, so I just kept talking. "Um, Cameron, his mom's boyfriend owns a dealership. I called him the other day, he said he'd work out a great deal for us."
Tears fell then.
"Baby, don't cry."
She didn't respond, just leaned in and kissed me.
And that's what we did, for I don't know how long, just kissed. With our hands on each other’s faces and the taste of her tears on our lips, we kissed. "I need you to make love to me now," she whispered.
So I did.
Amanda
Boys in books are so not better. Not compared to Logan Matthews.
I love him.
"So that's a yes to the car?" he asked, kissing me on the forehead. We lay naked in bed, face to face.
"That's still a no to the car. But the fact that you thought of it..." I trailed off. I didn't have words.
"Fine," he sighed like a disgruntled kid.
Then a crack of thunder whipped and rain hit hard against the roof.
He smiled. Huge. "Get dressed!" he ordered, getting out of bed and pulling on his sweats.
"What!" I sat up.
He leaned on the bed, his weight being held up by his arms. He kissed me once. "You trust me, right?" There was excitement in eyes, and for a second I let myself think of him as child. But then I remembered—he didn't have that.
"Baby?" He had a huge grin on his face, his dimples the deepest I'd ever seen them. "Please?"
I nodded, and got out of bed. He pulled something out of his desk drawer and waiting for me to finish dressing. Then he took my hand and led me to the front door, opening it wide for me to step through.
"What are you doing?" I yelled over the sound of the rain. It was thick and heavy. I could barely make out the road in front of the house. He just smiled bigger, and lifted me by my waist until my legs were wrapped around him.
"Ready?" he yelled.
"For what?"
And then he stepped into the rain. It only took a few seconds for us to be soaked. I held on to him tight. He kept walking until we were in the middle of the yard where his car was parked.
"It won't hurt you!" he yelled.
I wiped my eyes with one hand; the other was still wrapped tightly around his neck. "What?"
"The rain. It won't hurt you. I won't let it."
He placed me back on the ground, and held my face in his hands.
And then he kissed me.
In the middle of our yard, in the pouring rain, he kissed me.
And it was like no other kiss in the history of kisses.
You know in movies, where the kiss happens, and the cameras pan around in a circle, and you almost get dizzy from watching it? This was that kiss. This was the make-you-dizzy type, the I'm-giving-you-all-of-me type kiss. And I did, somewhere along the way—I'd given him all of me. And nothing in the past mattered, because Logan—he was my future. My world. My everything.
And then he pulled back. "I'm not going to let anything hurt you. Ever." His hand went in his pocket and he pulled out a gold chain, with a glass vile pendant. He opened it and held it in between us, letting the rain fall into it, and then he screwed it shut and put the chain around my neck. "And now you have this." He lifted it for me to see. "And this." He pushed me backwards until my legs hit the hood of his car and he slowly laid me down, and then he kissed me. And everything around me disappeared. The rain, the sounds, the cold of the metal underneath me. All of it disappeared. And all I could feel was Logan. His warm body pressed against me, his hands in my hair, and his mouth on mine. And then he grabbed my hand and placed it over his heart. "You and me," he shouted. "We're going to make new memories. Ones that you aren't afraid of. And it's going to be amazing."
I swallowed down my nerves.
I loved him.
I loved him so fucking much it hurts.
I opened my mouth to tell him.
