Logan
"Don't say it."
Her eyes widen, "What?"
"Don't say what you're about to say—what I know we both feel. Just don't."
"Oh," she said quietly. She slowly moved to get up front under me but I held on to her tighter.
I shook my head slowly. "It doesn't mean that I'm pulling away from you. Or that I don't feel the same way. Or that I don't want you." I took her face in my hands and made sure she was taking in every word I was saying. Because I needed her to hear them. "You have no idea how much I need you—I need you more than the air." I paused, thinking about how I could make her understand how I felt, without saying the actual words. "You know what my favorite part of the day is?" I shouted, hoping she could hear me.
She slowly shook her head.
"It's those few seconds in the morning, when my mind wakes up but my body hasn't, and I feel you in my arms. And I know that when I open my eyes, it's you that I get to see."
She stared at me, her eyes wide. She looked like she wanted to say something, but she didn't know what, so I continued. "I know that you've said those words before. I get that you've been in love with someone else, and that's fine. But I haven't. Not before you."
She gasped.
"I can't give you much, or anything at all. But when I say those words to you, it won't just be words—It will be me giving you something that means something. And you deserve to know that, to feel that. So please, let me be the first to say it—because I need to be able to at least give you that...and when I do—those three words will be yours, forever. And so will I."
And then I kissed her.
"What are you guys doing?" Ethan shouted.
I pulled back the same time Amanda turned her head to see him running up the driveway. "Making memories!" She laughed.
Then she faced me.
And smiled.
And it's all I ever wanted.
***
"It's fucking cold," Ethan informed, rubbing his hips. He was laying on the recliner, watching TV.
We'd come in soon after he did, and showered, dried and dressed. We also managed to have sex twice during that time but I couldn't tell you what the fuck order we did it in.
We were laying the sofa, Amanda on top of me.
Amanda kissed me a few times and got up. "I'll be back," she said, kissing me once more. I watched her leave.
"Dude, don't look at my sisters ass when I'm in the room."
I laughed.
"I'm not even joking."
I laughed harder.
She walked back in with a mug and handed it to Ethan, who smiled up at her. "Marshmallows?" he asked her, with eyes big like a little kid.
"Of course," she answered. "Only the best for you, big bro."
Then she walked out of the room again, only to return a few seconds later with his comforter. She placed it over him and tucked it around him like he was a Goddamn baby.
"Thanks, Demander."
"You're welcome, asshole."
"Seriously, though," his face turned serious. "You're going to make a good wife to some asshole some day."
She laid back down on top me. "Aw, thanks Ethan."
Then he smirked and jerked his head in my direction. "Hopefully not that one."
Amanda chuckled.
"Aw." I mock pouted at him. "Sad face emoticon."
THIRTY SEVEN
Logan
"I have something to tell you and I don't want you to be mad."
Her eyes narrowed at me. "Logan, that's like saying here's a fucking cookie, don't eat it."
"Okay," I agreed. "Probably not the best way to start a conversation."
"Nope," she said, not looking up from her toes. She was painting her toenails in bed, one headphone in her ear. I'd just come home from a run and was sweating my ass off. "Also," her nose went up and sniffed, "you smell like sweat stained balls."
I laughed. "I know. I'm getting in the shower now." I leaned forward on the bed to kiss her.
She squealed. "No! Shower first." Then she looked up at me. "Whoa. You run shirtless?"
I nodded.
"All the time?"
"Not when I start off, but after a while, yes. Why?"
"Don't do that anymore," she deadpanned.
I laughed once. "What? Why?"
"I mean it, Logan." She capped her nail polish and put it on the nightstand. "That shit you're selling," she pointed up and down my body, "it's not for sale anymore. I own it. And I say it's for my eyes only."
I had to laugh. "Are you kidding me right now? You own me?"
"Problem?" She raised her eyebrows.
I dropped my shorts and walked into the bathroom. I heard her moan. "No problem at all, babe, but it goes both ways. Remember that."
***
I walked out of the shower and put on a pair of sweatpants. She had both earphones in now, reading a book on her e-reader. I don't think she heard me come out because she laughed quietly, her eyes never leaving the book. She shook her head, "Reid Knox," she whispered. "You hot piece of alpha male asshole."
"What?" I said, loud enough for her to hear.
She looked up and gasped, then slowly pulled her earphones out.
"Uh..." she stammered.
I raised an eyebrow.
"Just..."
I waited.
"Lucy told me to read this book, and it's..."
I waited.
Then she laughed, "Baby," she cooed, "you're better than all the book boyfriends in all the world. Promise." She was all out laughing now.
"What's funny?" I sat on the edge of the bed. She came up behind me.
"Just that you're insecure or jealous over a fictional character."
I rolled my eyes. "Cameron says Lucy reads dirty shit. Do you?"
"Yup," she said, almost proudly.
I turned around to face her, surprised "Really?"
"Yup," she repeated.
"Huh. You ever want to re-enact some of those scenes you let me know." I was only half joking.
"Actually," she whispered, moving so she was lying with her head on the pillow. Her knees bent. She motioned with her finger for me to join her, spreading her legs as she did. I swallowed, and moved up in between her legs. I was already sporting a semi caused by my imagination. Her arms went around my neck, bringing me into her. Then she kissed me. Her tongue didn't bother asking for permission. Her hips pumped up to me; I was hard as all hell. Her hands moved from my hair, down my bare back and into my pants. "Mm," she moaned. Her mouth left mine and made their way down my jaw, my neck and only my shoulder, back up and into my ear, "I read this book once," she whispered, her hips raised and rubbing my hard-on. I started pushing into her, harder.
