I’m scared. I want you so badly that it hurts. I’ve never loved you more than I have tonight after seeing you with your son.
He let go of me. “Just go inside, Skylar, before I say or do something I’ll regret tomorrow.”
“I don’t want to leave you like this.”
“Why can’t you answer my question?” he asked, turning his whole body toward me.
“What question?”
“I’ve asked you twice whether you’re happy, and you haven’t given me an answer. It’s what I need to know in order to move on. It’s why I f**king started stalking you.”
“I guess I’m just not sure how to answer that.”
“That’s a no, then.”
My tone was defensive. “I feel safe with Kevin, okay? He’s never hurt me, and I’m pretty sure he never will.”
He moved away from me. “Unlike me.”
“I didn’t mean that against you. I just—”
“That’s okay. I get it now.”
“No. You don’t.”
“You don’t realize that the words coming out of your mouth don’t match the look in your eyes, Skylar. Your eyes are betraying you and confusing the f**k out of me. You still look at me the way you always have, like I’m the most important thing in the world to you. As long as you keep doing that—until you tell me to walk away—I’m not sure that I can move on.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t be leading you on. This is all just really confusing.”
“Look…I’m a different person now. I’ve been through a lot. I’m not that boy anymore that was scared to tell you how he felt. I’m a damaged man that feels like he’s been to hell and back with nothing to lose. I want you more in this moment than I’ve ever wanted you. You’re all I want, and I can’t even show you how much. You have no idea the things I’d do to you right now if I could. I can’t even think straight around you. There’s just no one else, Skylar. There hasn’t been anyone else. I haven’t—”
“You haven’t what?”
“This is so f**ked up.” He slammed his head against the steering wheel. “Fuck! I didn’t want to have this conversation tonight.”
“What are you talking about?”
He looked over at me and whispered, “I haven’t been with anyone.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“I mean…I haven’t been…with a woman in over five years.”
“You haven’t had a girlfriend…but certainly you’ve…”
He shook his head. “No. No one. I haven’t touched a woman in five years, Skylar.”
I covered my mouth. “Oh my God.”
“I haven’t wanted any other woman, not even for sex. I’d throw myself into work or my son and just try not to think about you. Now that I’m around you again, it’s like my body’s come alive all of a sudden. I have these urges. I feel out of control, and I don’t know what to do with all of it. The fact that I know you’re off limits makes it even worse. I’m sorry. You said you wanted honesty. Sometimes, the truth is ugly.”
My phone was in the center console when it rang. Mitch looked down at it then handed it to me. “It’s Kevin. You’d better take it.”
He opened the car door and slammed it shut, leaning his back against the window. My heart was breaking because I knew how hard it must have been to admit what he just did. I was still in shock.
I let the phone go to voicemail and then texted Kevin.
I’ll call you back in a few.
I felt guilty, but I couldn’t take the call right now. I exited the car and stood beside him.
Mitch wasn’t looking at me. “What did he have to say?”
“I didn’t take it. I sent him a text that I’d call him back.”
He let out a single laugh that seemed bitter and looked up at the sky. It was a clear night as we stood against his car gazing at the stars.
We said nothing for several minutes until he faced me. “You weren’t the only one who was devastated.” Then, he turned around, got into the car and rolled down the window.
I leaned in. “Where does this leave us?”
He reached out and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. “That’s for you to decide. I guess you need to figure out whether or not you’re happy first, since you don’t seem to know. Here’s a hint: if you happen to see my face the next time he takes you to bed, chances are good, you’re not happy. If I were the one f**king you, I can guarantee you wouldn’t have to think twice.”
He started the engine and put the car in drive. “Good night, Skylar.”
I stood there dazed and confused. Aroused. “Bye.”
That night, I got under my covers and replayed those words over and over again.
“If I were the one f**king you…”
My fingers circled my cl*tas I gave myself an intense orgasm while I imagined him doing just that.
CHAPTER 23
MITCH
“I messed up, Dave.”
Davey handed me the capicola sandwich he brought from the local deli. He had come down to the work site to have lunch with me. My company was leading the construction of a new shopping center in town. It was one of our biggest projects to date.
“You’d better figure out the problem before that thing comes crumbling down.”
“No, not with the building. With…Skylar.”
“Skylar? You’ve been in touch with her?”
“She hasn’t said anything to you?”
“No. We haven’t even gotten together since she’s been back. How the hell did this happen?”
“It’s kind of a long story. I never told you, but I started stalking her a few months back.”
“What the fuck, Mitch…”
“It’s not as bad as it sounds. Long story short…she caught me one night. Instead of calling the police or freaking out, she invited me in, and we’ve hung out a couple of times. She’s met Henry.”
“You’re playing with fire. You know that, right?”
“You knew she was engaged?”
Davey hesitated. “She told me a while ago. I didn’t tell you.”
“Why not?”
“Oh—I don’t know—because when it comes to her, you’re a little unstable? I thought maybe you’d do something rash…like stalk her or something.”
“Alright…point taken. Anyway, we went to Bev’s last week. I was trying to play it cool, act like we were friends again.”
Davey took a sip of his soda and pointed it at me. “I’m sure you did a great job,” he said sarcastically.
“Everything went according to plan until we stopped by my house after, and she met Henry.”
“I’m surprised she went for that.”
“Me, too. She was really sweet with him, and he was actually interacting with her. All of a sudden, I just started to see the three of us together.”
“Meaning you, her and Kevin, right? Because you do realize she’s about to marry him?”
“Just let me finish.”
“Okay.”
“After I drove her home, I lost it.”
“Nooo…really?”
“I told her how I felt and how there hasn’t been anyone else.”
“Please don’t tell me you told her you’re a virgin.”
“I’m not a f**king virgin.”
“Five years with no sex has got to qualify you for some kind of reestablishment of that title. What’s the opposite of vaginal rejuvenation?”
“Can you be serious for one friggin’ second?” I rolled my eyes. “I did tell her that I hadn’t been with anyone.”
“That was dumb, but I have a feeling there’s even more to this.”
“I also told her I didn’t think she was happy with him, especially if at any point she saw my face while f**king him.”
“Wow. That was graceful.”
“Well, yeah…so that’s my problem. I have a feeling I scared her away.”
“Dude, that was premature ejaculation at its best.”
“What?”
“No pun intended, but you blew your load way too fast.”
“My load?”
“Yes. It’s not that you shouldn’t have told her how you felt. You just need to stick to a timeline and do it incrementally. Take a hint from your son. I bet Henry charmed the pants off of her, right?”
“Yeah…actually, he did. He didn’t have to say anything at all and just connected with her.”
“Sometimes, less is more. You need to control your words and your emotions at this early stage in the game.”
“I couldn’t help it, Davey. She’s not happy with this guy, and I still love her.”
“I know you do, man. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that. I just don’t want to see you get your hopes up and then be crushed if she ends up going through with the marriage.”
“You don’t think I stand a chance, do you?” I bit angrily down at my sandwich even though I had lost my appetite.
Davey shouted through the sound of drilling behind us, “You just have to understand that her meeting Henry and bonding with him for a few minutes doesn’t necessarily mean she’s gonna be able to put the past five years aside and be his mother all of a sudden. That girl wouldn’t even let me mention your name a year ago. This guy she’s with…he’s solid. Zena and I met up with them while we were down in D.C. once. I’m not saying she doesn’t love you, but there are other people involved in this situation. There are a lot of obstacles, but —”
“Whose f**king side are you on?” I said with my mouth full.
“Let me finish. There are a lot of obstacles…but I’ll brainstorm, alright? I’ll do whatever it takes to help you get her back. As much as I’ve always busted your balls when it came to her over the years…you two were meant to be together.”
“You’ll help me come up with a plan?”
“Yeah. At some point, we need to get her away from him for a little while in the right venue. I don’t know exactly how to do that.”
“What are you talking about? Kidnapping her?”
“Not exactly. Don’t get excited.”
“He goes away every other week on business for a couple nights.”
“Okay…that’s a start. I’ll come up with something.”
I adjusted my hard hat. “I think I love you, Dave.”
“Save it. I’m not popping your cherry.”
***
That night, after putting Henry to bed, I opened a beer and pulled up my DVR list to watch one of the several Pawn Stars episodes that had been piling up. I had just pressed play when a text from Davey came in.
Davey: I’ve got it.
Mitch: Got milk? Got herpes? Got what?
Davey: I’m just warning you. You’re gonna wanna blow me after this.
Mitch: This better be good after that visual.
Davey: You’ve got that flip your company is doing for the family down in Virginia Beach coming up in a few weeks, right?
Each year, my company donated its resources to help a family in need by rebuilding a house damaged in a storm or fire. This year, we were surprising a family down in Virginia Beach. The plan was to flip their house while they were staying with relatives on the other side of the state. A tropical storm wrecked their home, and they hadn’t been able to live in it for months. They also had two special needs kids, one in a wheelchair, so we’d be putting in a ramp. I had plans to meet my guys down there for five out of the last seven days. It would be the first time I’d be away from Henry, but my mother insisted I go when she found out what we were doing.
Mitch: What about it?
Davey: Hang on. I’m gonna call you.
The phone immediately rang.
“Yo.”
“You’re flipping the house, and then it has to be set up for them and shit, right?
“Yeah. We pay for all new furniture and decorate it.”
“You need an interior designer.”
“Actually, I’m not sure—”
“You need an interior designer.”
“Wait…you’re saying I should hire Skylar to do it?”
“You’re really smarter than I give you credit for. Of course, that’s what I’m saying! That’s her specialty, isn’t it?”
I scratched my chin and paced the floor. “This is f**king genius.”
“Thank you.”
“I don’t even know if we have it in the budget for a designer. I think we were just going to wing that, but I’ll pay for it myself if I have to just to make this happen. The real issue is, how am I going to get her to agree to go away with me? Don’t you think she’ll see right through this?”
“It’s all in how you present it. That’s your job. I can’t do everything for you. By the way, where are you staying?”
“I’m getting a hotel for myself and for the other guys, too.”
“Well, now you’re getting a house on the beach.”
“A house on the beach?”
“Yes.”
“She’s not gonna agree to stay in a beach rental with me. Are you f**king kidding?”
“You’re not staying in it. You’ll say the company booked it for her as part of the deal.”
“I’m not following you.”
He let go of me. “Just go inside, Skylar, before I say or do something I’ll regret tomorrow.”
“I don’t want to leave you like this.”
“Why can’t you answer my question?” he asked, turning his whole body toward me.
“What question?”
“I’ve asked you twice whether you’re happy, and you haven’t given me an answer. It’s what I need to know in order to move on. It’s why I f**king started stalking you.”
“I guess I’m just not sure how to answer that.”
“That’s a no, then.”
My tone was defensive. “I feel safe with Kevin, okay? He’s never hurt me, and I’m pretty sure he never will.”
He moved away from me. “Unlike me.”
“I didn’t mean that against you. I just—”
“That’s okay. I get it now.”
“No. You don’t.”
“You don’t realize that the words coming out of your mouth don’t match the look in your eyes, Skylar. Your eyes are betraying you and confusing the f**k out of me. You still look at me the way you always have, like I’m the most important thing in the world to you. As long as you keep doing that—until you tell me to walk away—I’m not sure that I can move on.”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t be leading you on. This is all just really confusing.”
“Look…I’m a different person now. I’ve been through a lot. I’m not that boy anymore that was scared to tell you how he felt. I’m a damaged man that feels like he’s been to hell and back with nothing to lose. I want you more in this moment than I’ve ever wanted you. You’re all I want, and I can’t even show you how much. You have no idea the things I’d do to you right now if I could. I can’t even think straight around you. There’s just no one else, Skylar. There hasn’t been anyone else. I haven’t—”
“You haven’t what?”
“This is so f**ked up.” He slammed his head against the steering wheel. “Fuck! I didn’t want to have this conversation tonight.”
“What are you talking about?”
He looked over at me and whispered, “I haven’t been with anyone.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“I mean…I haven’t been…with a woman in over five years.”
“You haven’t had a girlfriend…but certainly you’ve…”
He shook his head. “No. No one. I haven’t touched a woman in five years, Skylar.”
I covered my mouth. “Oh my God.”
“I haven’t wanted any other woman, not even for sex. I’d throw myself into work or my son and just try not to think about you. Now that I’m around you again, it’s like my body’s come alive all of a sudden. I have these urges. I feel out of control, and I don’t know what to do with all of it. The fact that I know you’re off limits makes it even worse. I’m sorry. You said you wanted honesty. Sometimes, the truth is ugly.”
My phone was in the center console when it rang. Mitch looked down at it then handed it to me. “It’s Kevin. You’d better take it.”
He opened the car door and slammed it shut, leaning his back against the window. My heart was breaking because I knew how hard it must have been to admit what he just did. I was still in shock.
I let the phone go to voicemail and then texted Kevin.
I’ll call you back in a few.
I felt guilty, but I couldn’t take the call right now. I exited the car and stood beside him.
Mitch wasn’t looking at me. “What did he have to say?”
“I didn’t take it. I sent him a text that I’d call him back.”
He let out a single laugh that seemed bitter and looked up at the sky. It was a clear night as we stood against his car gazing at the stars.
We said nothing for several minutes until he faced me. “You weren’t the only one who was devastated.” Then, he turned around, got into the car and rolled down the window.
I leaned in. “Where does this leave us?”
He reached out and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. “That’s for you to decide. I guess you need to figure out whether or not you’re happy first, since you don’t seem to know. Here’s a hint: if you happen to see my face the next time he takes you to bed, chances are good, you’re not happy. If I were the one f**king you, I can guarantee you wouldn’t have to think twice.”
He started the engine and put the car in drive. “Good night, Skylar.”
I stood there dazed and confused. Aroused. “Bye.”
That night, I got under my covers and replayed those words over and over again.
“If I were the one f**king you…”
My fingers circled my cl*tas I gave myself an intense orgasm while I imagined him doing just that.
CHAPTER 23
MITCH
“I messed up, Dave.”
Davey handed me the capicola sandwich he brought from the local deli. He had come down to the work site to have lunch with me. My company was leading the construction of a new shopping center in town. It was one of our biggest projects to date.
“You’d better figure out the problem before that thing comes crumbling down.”
“No, not with the building. With…Skylar.”
“Skylar? You’ve been in touch with her?”
“She hasn’t said anything to you?”
“No. We haven’t even gotten together since she’s been back. How the hell did this happen?”
“It’s kind of a long story. I never told you, but I started stalking her a few months back.”
“What the fuck, Mitch…”
“It’s not as bad as it sounds. Long story short…she caught me one night. Instead of calling the police or freaking out, she invited me in, and we’ve hung out a couple of times. She’s met Henry.”
“You’re playing with fire. You know that, right?”
“You knew she was engaged?”
Davey hesitated. “She told me a while ago. I didn’t tell you.”
“Why not?”
“Oh—I don’t know—because when it comes to her, you’re a little unstable? I thought maybe you’d do something rash…like stalk her or something.”
“Alright…point taken. Anyway, we went to Bev’s last week. I was trying to play it cool, act like we were friends again.”
Davey took a sip of his soda and pointed it at me. “I’m sure you did a great job,” he said sarcastically.
“Everything went according to plan until we stopped by my house after, and she met Henry.”
“I’m surprised she went for that.”
“Me, too. She was really sweet with him, and he was actually interacting with her. All of a sudden, I just started to see the three of us together.”
“Meaning you, her and Kevin, right? Because you do realize she’s about to marry him?”
“Just let me finish.”
“Okay.”
“After I drove her home, I lost it.”
“Nooo…really?”
“I told her how I felt and how there hasn’t been anyone else.”
“Please don’t tell me you told her you’re a virgin.”
“I’m not a f**king virgin.”
“Five years with no sex has got to qualify you for some kind of reestablishment of that title. What’s the opposite of vaginal rejuvenation?”
“Can you be serious for one friggin’ second?” I rolled my eyes. “I did tell her that I hadn’t been with anyone.”
“That was dumb, but I have a feeling there’s even more to this.”
“I also told her I didn’t think she was happy with him, especially if at any point she saw my face while f**king him.”
“Wow. That was graceful.”
“Well, yeah…so that’s my problem. I have a feeling I scared her away.”
“Dude, that was premature ejaculation at its best.”
“What?”
“No pun intended, but you blew your load way too fast.”
“My load?”
“Yes. It’s not that you shouldn’t have told her how you felt. You just need to stick to a timeline and do it incrementally. Take a hint from your son. I bet Henry charmed the pants off of her, right?”
“Yeah…actually, he did. He didn’t have to say anything at all and just connected with her.”
“Sometimes, less is more. You need to control your words and your emotions at this early stage in the game.”
“I couldn’t help it, Davey. She’s not happy with this guy, and I still love her.”
“I know you do, man. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that. I just don’t want to see you get your hopes up and then be crushed if she ends up going through with the marriage.”
“You don’t think I stand a chance, do you?” I bit angrily down at my sandwich even though I had lost my appetite.
Davey shouted through the sound of drilling behind us, “You just have to understand that her meeting Henry and bonding with him for a few minutes doesn’t necessarily mean she’s gonna be able to put the past five years aside and be his mother all of a sudden. That girl wouldn’t even let me mention your name a year ago. This guy she’s with…he’s solid. Zena and I met up with them while we were down in D.C. once. I’m not saying she doesn’t love you, but there are other people involved in this situation. There are a lot of obstacles, but —”
“Whose f**king side are you on?” I said with my mouth full.
“Let me finish. There are a lot of obstacles…but I’ll brainstorm, alright? I’ll do whatever it takes to help you get her back. As much as I’ve always busted your balls when it came to her over the years…you two were meant to be together.”
“You’ll help me come up with a plan?”
“Yeah. At some point, we need to get her away from him for a little while in the right venue. I don’t know exactly how to do that.”
“What are you talking about? Kidnapping her?”
“Not exactly. Don’t get excited.”
“He goes away every other week on business for a couple nights.”
“Okay…that’s a start. I’ll come up with something.”
I adjusted my hard hat. “I think I love you, Dave.”
“Save it. I’m not popping your cherry.”
***
That night, after putting Henry to bed, I opened a beer and pulled up my DVR list to watch one of the several Pawn Stars episodes that had been piling up. I had just pressed play when a text from Davey came in.
Davey: I’ve got it.
Mitch: Got milk? Got herpes? Got what?
Davey: I’m just warning you. You’re gonna wanna blow me after this.
Mitch: This better be good after that visual.
Davey: You’ve got that flip your company is doing for the family down in Virginia Beach coming up in a few weeks, right?
Each year, my company donated its resources to help a family in need by rebuilding a house damaged in a storm or fire. This year, we were surprising a family down in Virginia Beach. The plan was to flip their house while they were staying with relatives on the other side of the state. A tropical storm wrecked their home, and they hadn’t been able to live in it for months. They also had two special needs kids, one in a wheelchair, so we’d be putting in a ramp. I had plans to meet my guys down there for five out of the last seven days. It would be the first time I’d be away from Henry, but my mother insisted I go when she found out what we were doing.
Mitch: What about it?
Davey: Hang on. I’m gonna call you.
The phone immediately rang.
“Yo.”
“You’re flipping the house, and then it has to be set up for them and shit, right?
“Yeah. We pay for all new furniture and decorate it.”
“You need an interior designer.”
“Actually, I’m not sure—”
“You need an interior designer.”
“Wait…you’re saying I should hire Skylar to do it?”
“You’re really smarter than I give you credit for. Of course, that’s what I’m saying! That’s her specialty, isn’t it?”
I scratched my chin and paced the floor. “This is f**king genius.”
“Thank you.”
“I don’t even know if we have it in the budget for a designer. I think we were just going to wing that, but I’ll pay for it myself if I have to just to make this happen. The real issue is, how am I going to get her to agree to go away with me? Don’t you think she’ll see right through this?”
“It’s all in how you present it. That’s your job. I can’t do everything for you. By the way, where are you staying?”
“I’m getting a hotel for myself and for the other guys, too.”
“Well, now you’re getting a house on the beach.”
“A house on the beach?”
“Yes.”
“She’s not gonna agree to stay in a beach rental with me. Are you f**king kidding?”
“You’re not staying in it. You’ll say the company booked it for her as part of the deal.”
“I’m not following you.”
