Navy Blues
Page 20

 Debbie Macomber

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"Please do what you can," Lindy added her own plea. "This child means a great deal to her."
Dr. Stewart nodded. "Carol’s sleeping now, but you can see her for a couple of minutes, if you’d like. One at a time."
Steve looked to Lindy, who gestured for him to go in first. He smiled his appreciation and followed the grandfatherly doctor into Carol’s room.
As Dr. Stewart had explained, she was sleeping soundly. She looked incredibly fragile with tubes stretching down from an IV pole to connect with the veins in her arm.
Steve stood beside her for several minutes, loving her completely. Emotion clogged his throat and he turned away. He loved her; he always would. No matter what had happened in the past, he couldn’t imagine a future without Carol.
"How is she?" Lindy asked when he came out of the room.
He found he couldn’t answer her with anything more than a short nod.
Lindy disappeared and returned five minutes later. By then Steve had had a chance to form a plan of action, and he felt better for it.
As Lindy stepped toward him, he held her gaze with newfound determination. He and Carol were both fools if they thought they could stay apart. It wasn’t going to work. Without Carol he was only half-alive. And she’d admitted how miserable she’d been during their year’s separation.
"I’m going to marry her," Steve informed his sister brusquely.
"What?" Lindy looked at him as though she’d misheard him.
"I’m going to get the chaplain to come to the hospital, and I’m going to marry Carol."
Lindy studied him for several moments. "Don’t you think she should have some say in this?"
"Yes… no."
"But I thought… Carol told me you didn’t believe the baby is yours."
"It isn’t."
Lindy rolled her eyes, then shook her head, her features tight with impatience. "That is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said. Honestly, Steve, where do you come up with these crazy ideas?"
"What idea? That the baby isn’t mine, or remarrying Carol?"
"Both!"
"Whether or not I’m the father doesn’t make one bit of difference. I’ve decided it doesn’t matter. From here on out, I’m claiming her child as mine."
"But…"
"I don’t care. I love Carol and I’ll learn to love her baby. That’s the end of it." Once the decision had been made, it felt right. The two of them had played a fool’s game for over a year, but no more – he wouldn’t stand for it. "I’m not going to put up with any arguments from you or from Carol. I want her as my wife – we were wrong ever to have gone through with the divorce. All I’m doing now is correcting a mistake that should never have happened," he told his sister in a voice that men jumped to obey.
Lindy took a moment to digest his words. "Don’t you think you should discuss this in a rational matter with Carol? Don’t you think she should have some input into her own life?"
"I suppose. But she needs me – although she isn’t likely to admit it."
"You’ve had just as difficult a time recognizing that fact yourself."
"Not anymore."
"When do you plan to tell her?"
Steve didn’t know. He’d only reached this conclusion in the last five minutes, but already he felt in control of his life again.
"Well?" his sister pressed.
"I haven’t figured out when---Before the surgery, I think, if it can be arranged."
"Steve, you’re not thinking clearly. Carol isn’t going to want to be married sitting in a hospital bed, looking all sickly and pale."
"The sooner we get this settled the better."
"For whom?" Lindy prompted.
"For both of us."
Lindy threw up her hands. "Sometimes the things you say utterly shock me."
"They do?" Steve didn’t care – he felt as if he could float out of the hospital, he was so relieved. Carol would probably come through the surgery with flying colors and everything would fall into place the way it should have long ago. This had certainly been a crazy day. He’d bought a sterling silver rattle, followed Carol around a shopping mall like an FBI agent, driven her to the hospital, then made a decision that would go a long way toward assuring their happy future. Steve sighed deeply, feeling suddenly weary.
"Is there any other bombshell you’d care to hit me with?" Lindy asked teasingly.
Steve paused and then surprised her by nodding. Some of the happiness he’d experienced earlier vanished. There was one other decision he’d made – one not as pleasant but equally necessary.
"Should I sit down for this one?" Lindy asked, still grinning. She slipped her arm around his waist and looked up at him.
"I don’t think so."
"Well, don’t keep me in suspense, big brother."
Steve regarded her soberly. "I’m leaving the Navy."
Chapter Thirteen
Carol opened her eyes slowly. The room was dim, the blinds over the window closed. She frowned when her gaze fell on the IV stand, and she tried to raise herself.
"You’re in the hospital." Steve’s voice was warm and caressing.
She lowered her head back to the pillow and turned toward the sound. Steve stood at her bedside. From the ragged, tired look about him, she guessed he’d been standing there all night.
"How long have you been here?" she asked hoarsely, testing her tongue.
"Not very long."
She closed her eyes and grinned. "You never could tell a decent lie."
He brushed the hair from her cheek and his fingers lingered on her face as though he needed to touch her.
She knew she should ask him to leave, but his presence comforted her. She needed him. She didn’t know how he’d happened to be at Northgate Mall, but she would always be grateful he’d found her when he did.
Her hand moved to her stomach, and she flattened it there. "The baby’s all right?"
Steve didn’t answer her for a moment, and a sickening sense of dread filled her. Her eyes flew open. The doctor had repeatedly assured her that the baby was safe, but something might have happened while she had slept. She’d been out for hours and much of what had taken place after they arrived at the hospital remained foggy in her mind.
"Everything’s fine with the pregnancy."
"Thank God," she whispered fervently.
"Dr. Stewart said you were near exhaustion." He reached for her hand and laced his fingers with hers. His thumb worked back and forth on the inside of her wrist.
"I think I could sleep for a week," Carol said, her voice starting to sound more sure. It seemed as though it had been years since she’d had a decent rest. Even before her pregnancy had been confirmed she’d felt physically and emotionally drained, as if she were running on a treadmill, working as fast as her legs would carry her and getting nowhere.
"How do you feel now?"
Carol had to think about it. "Different. I don’t know how to describe it. I’m not exactly sick and I’m not in any pain, but something’s not right, either."
"You should have recognized that weeks ago. According to Dr. Stewart, you’ve probably been feeling ill for months."
"They know what’s causing the problem?" Her heart started to work doubly hard. Not until the severe attack of pain in the shopping mall had she been willing to admit something could be wrong with her.
"Dr. Stewart thinks it could be your gall bladder."
"My what?"
"Gall bladder," he repeated softly. "I’m sure he can explain it far better than I can, but from what I understand it’s a pear-shaped pouch close to the liver."
Carol arched her brows at his attempt at humor and offered him a weak smile. "That explains it."
Steve grinned back at her, and for a moment everything went still. His eyes held such tenderness that she dared to hope again – dared to believe he’d discovered the truth about her and their baby. Dared to let the love that was stored in her heart shine through her eyes.
"I never thought I’d see you again," she said, and her voice quivered with emotion.
Steve lowered his gaze briefly. "I couldn’t stay away. I love you too much."
"Oh, Steve, how could we do this to each other? You think such terrible things of me and I can’t bear it anymore. I keep telling myself the baby and I would be better off without you, and then I feel only half alive. When we’re separated, nothing feels right in my life – nothing is good."
"When I’m not with you, I’m only a shell." He raised her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles.
Carol felt the tears gather in her eyes and she turned her head away, unwilling to have Steve witness her emotion. No man would ever be more right for her, and no man could ever be so wrong.
She heard the sound of a chair being pushed to the side of the bed. "I want us to remarry," he said firmly. "I’ve thought it over. In fact, I haven’t thought of anything else in the past fifteen hours – and I’m convinced this is the right thing for us to do."
Carol knew it was right, too. "But what about the baby?" she whispered. "You think – "
"From this moment on, the child is mine in my heart and in my soul. He’s a part of you and that’s the only important thing."
"She," Carol corrected absently. "I’m having a girl."
"Okay…whatever you want as long as we’re together."
Carol’s mind flooded with arguments, but she hadn’t the strength to fight him. The intervening months would convince Steve that this child was his far better than any eloquent speeches she could give him now. By the time the baby was born, his doubts would have vanished completely. In the meantime they would find a way to settle matters – that was essential because they were both so miserable apart.
"Will you marry me, Carol, a second time?"
"I want to say yes. Everything within me is telling me it’s the right thing to do…for me and for the baby. But I’m frightened, too."
"I’m going to be a good husband and father, I promise you that."
"I know you will."
"I made another decision yesterday – one that will greatly affect both our lives." His hand pressed against the side of her face and gently brushed the hair from her temple. "I’m leaving the Navy."
Carol couldn’t believe her ears. The military was Steve’s life; it had been his goal from the time he was a teenager. His dream. He’d never wanted to be or do anything else.
"But you love your work."
"I love you more," he countered.
"It’s not an either-or situation, Steve. I’ve lived all these years as a Navy wife, I’ve adjusted."
A hint of a smile touched his face. "I won’t be separated from you again."
For Steve’s sake, Carol had always put on a happy face and seen him off with a cheerful wave, but she’d hated the life, dreading their months apart. Always had and always would. The promise of a more conventional marriage seemed too good to be true. Her head was swimming at the thought of him working a nine-to-five job. She wanted this – she wanted it badly.