Nightwalker
Page 39
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He had many sins on his head, and he did not deserve forgiveness for them. Not yet and maybe not ever.
And he certainly didn’t deserve her.
He reached up a hand and brushed back one frosted gray strand of hair from beneath her nose where her breath was stirring it. He traced the apple of her cheek with the lightest touch he could manage. He didn’t want to wake her. He didn’t know what kind of sleeper she was. Was she one that slept so heavy a freight train could come through and she wouldn’t even stir? Or was she one of those who slept fairy light and stirred at the slightest disturbance?
He wasn’t of a mind to find out just yet, so he spoke a Word and she slowly levitated into the air. As soon as he was able he slipped out from beneath her and then lowered her back down onto the bed in ginger increments. She settled and with a little snort she grabbed the pillow her head was on and hugged it closer to her cheek.
“Kamen,” she said on an exhale of breath, then slept on.
He smiled. He liked the sound of his name on her soft lips. Hell, he liked everything about her. Except for her low esteem of herself. The thought wiped away his smile, replacing it with a dour frown. One of these days he was going back to that cell in Iowa and he was going to have a long talk with some Wraiths about the way they had treated her.
But he was treating her almost as badly. By continuing to be her lover without coming clean about who he was…it was a low thing to do. But he was a low creature and clearly that had not changed. He was just as selfish as he had been before. He could only hope that this time his selfishness would not have such a horrific impact as the last time. The last time he had wanted things his way, he had created the means for Apep to possess Odjit’s body.
No. This time his selfishness was bound to hurt only one person. He touched her cheek again and tried to will himself to do the right thing. As soon as she awakened he would tell her everything. It was the right thing to do.
But it would mean the end of what he had found with her and he could not bear for that to happen just yet. Not just yet.
But he had to be the one to do it. The longer she spent in this house the more likely it was that someone would tell her what he had done.
Yes. When she awakened, he would tell her. And he would watch the light go out of her regard for him and she would look at him the way everyone else in this house looked at him.
Like the criminal he was.
Kamen stood up, walked into the bathroom, and stepped into the shower. His thoughts churned around and around as he tried to come to grips with what his next step would be.
Unable to agree with himself about things as far as Viève was concerned, he decided to plot his next course of action for the task of getting all of the Nightwalkers to come to the table. The only holdouts now were the Wraiths and the Mysticals. If he could get the Mysticals on board, the Wraiths would follow. But that was a pretty big if in the grand scheme of things. He had no idea what his reception with the Mysticals would be. He wasn’t even sure that the Empress was of sound mind.
The Empress of the Mysticals was, in her Mystical form, a winged horse. Apparently she had been held captive for a length of time by the Wraiths. He didn’t know why the Wraiths would want to hold the Empress prisoner, but it did not bode well for them getting along in the future. The Empress may not want anything to do with any agreement that involved the Wraiths.
But perhaps here he could use Viève. She was a kinder and gentler face for the Wraiths. Maybe if the Empress got to know Viève it would make her look more kindly on the idea of peace with the Wraiths.
But it wasn’t only the Wraiths involved here, and the Empress must be made to see that as well. The idea of facing an enemy of the caliber of Apep was no easy thing. He was amazed he had gotten ten races to the table already. They had been fortunate in the fact that the First Faction of Nightwalkers had already shared a certain unity between the races. It was a unity the Second Faction lacked. But hopefully the future held better things for them. All they had to do was—
His thoughts were interrupted with a start when he felt a hand touch his back. The shower stall was a walk-in without doors, a small room of marble. She had walked in without him even hearing her. He turned under the spray to face her and she pushed at his chest so he took a step back. That allowed her to get completely beneath the spray of the shower and the water darkened her hair as it got wet. She washed her hands up over her face, basking in the shower as a lizard might bask in the sun. She was beautiful and he couldn’t resist her. He ringed a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her up into a wet, heated kiss.
Her hands came around his back, clutching him to her. Their tongues danced against each other. After a long pair of minutes, he let her up for air, blocking the spray with his body so she could look up at him without getting water in her face.
“Hi,” she said, beaming at him.
“Hello,” he returned. “I thought to leave you sleeping.”
“I woke up when you were no longer there.”
“I see.” There was no describing the pleasure those words sent singing through him.
“Do you mind me sharing your shower?” she asked shyly. “I should have asked first. I’m sorry. I’ve just never done this before and I—”
“Do you remember last night?” he interrupted her.
“Well, yes…” She blushed but, he was pleased to see, did not try to hide it from him.
“We discussed certainties.”
“Yes.” She brightened. “Yes! I’m supposed to assume you want me until you tell me otherwise.”
“Very good. You remember.”
“Yes. And I’m sorry. I just need to get used to all of this. I’ve never done this before, remember?”
“I remember. And if it makes you feel any better, I am not used to doing this either.”
“Sharing your shower?”
“Exactly. But it doesn’t follow that it is unwelcome. None of this is unwelcome. Change, I am discovering, is good for the soul.”
“Have you done a lot of changing lately?” she asked.
“More than you can know.” He reached out and traced a rivulet of water that ran down the slope of her breast. He brushed his thumb over her nipple and he heard her breath catch.
Damn she was so responsive. He was learning that it didn’t take much to stir her passions. He wondered how she would feel if she knew…It would all go away. All of it. Damn him.
And he certainly didn’t deserve her.
He reached up a hand and brushed back one frosted gray strand of hair from beneath her nose where her breath was stirring it. He traced the apple of her cheek with the lightest touch he could manage. He didn’t want to wake her. He didn’t know what kind of sleeper she was. Was she one that slept so heavy a freight train could come through and she wouldn’t even stir? Or was she one of those who slept fairy light and stirred at the slightest disturbance?
He wasn’t of a mind to find out just yet, so he spoke a Word and she slowly levitated into the air. As soon as he was able he slipped out from beneath her and then lowered her back down onto the bed in ginger increments. She settled and with a little snort she grabbed the pillow her head was on and hugged it closer to her cheek.
“Kamen,” she said on an exhale of breath, then slept on.
He smiled. He liked the sound of his name on her soft lips. Hell, he liked everything about her. Except for her low esteem of herself. The thought wiped away his smile, replacing it with a dour frown. One of these days he was going back to that cell in Iowa and he was going to have a long talk with some Wraiths about the way they had treated her.
But he was treating her almost as badly. By continuing to be her lover without coming clean about who he was…it was a low thing to do. But he was a low creature and clearly that had not changed. He was just as selfish as he had been before. He could only hope that this time his selfishness would not have such a horrific impact as the last time. The last time he had wanted things his way, he had created the means for Apep to possess Odjit’s body.
No. This time his selfishness was bound to hurt only one person. He touched her cheek again and tried to will himself to do the right thing. As soon as she awakened he would tell her everything. It was the right thing to do.
But it would mean the end of what he had found with her and he could not bear for that to happen just yet. Not just yet.
But he had to be the one to do it. The longer she spent in this house the more likely it was that someone would tell her what he had done.
Yes. When she awakened, he would tell her. And he would watch the light go out of her regard for him and she would look at him the way everyone else in this house looked at him.
Like the criminal he was.
Kamen stood up, walked into the bathroom, and stepped into the shower. His thoughts churned around and around as he tried to come to grips with what his next step would be.
Unable to agree with himself about things as far as Viève was concerned, he decided to plot his next course of action for the task of getting all of the Nightwalkers to come to the table. The only holdouts now were the Wraiths and the Mysticals. If he could get the Mysticals on board, the Wraiths would follow. But that was a pretty big if in the grand scheme of things. He had no idea what his reception with the Mysticals would be. He wasn’t even sure that the Empress was of sound mind.
The Empress of the Mysticals was, in her Mystical form, a winged horse. Apparently she had been held captive for a length of time by the Wraiths. He didn’t know why the Wraiths would want to hold the Empress prisoner, but it did not bode well for them getting along in the future. The Empress may not want anything to do with any agreement that involved the Wraiths.
But perhaps here he could use Viève. She was a kinder and gentler face for the Wraiths. Maybe if the Empress got to know Viève it would make her look more kindly on the idea of peace with the Wraiths.
But it wasn’t only the Wraiths involved here, and the Empress must be made to see that as well. The idea of facing an enemy of the caliber of Apep was no easy thing. He was amazed he had gotten ten races to the table already. They had been fortunate in the fact that the First Faction of Nightwalkers had already shared a certain unity between the races. It was a unity the Second Faction lacked. But hopefully the future held better things for them. All they had to do was—
His thoughts were interrupted with a start when he felt a hand touch his back. The shower stall was a walk-in without doors, a small room of marble. She had walked in without him even hearing her. He turned under the spray to face her and she pushed at his chest so he took a step back. That allowed her to get completely beneath the spray of the shower and the water darkened her hair as it got wet. She washed her hands up over her face, basking in the shower as a lizard might bask in the sun. She was beautiful and he couldn’t resist her. He ringed a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her up into a wet, heated kiss.
Her hands came around his back, clutching him to her. Their tongues danced against each other. After a long pair of minutes, he let her up for air, blocking the spray with his body so she could look up at him without getting water in her face.
“Hi,” she said, beaming at him.
“Hello,” he returned. “I thought to leave you sleeping.”
“I woke up when you were no longer there.”
“I see.” There was no describing the pleasure those words sent singing through him.
“Do you mind me sharing your shower?” she asked shyly. “I should have asked first. I’m sorry. I’ve just never done this before and I—”
“Do you remember last night?” he interrupted her.
“Well, yes…” She blushed but, he was pleased to see, did not try to hide it from him.
“We discussed certainties.”
“Yes.” She brightened. “Yes! I’m supposed to assume you want me until you tell me otherwise.”
“Very good. You remember.”
“Yes. And I’m sorry. I just need to get used to all of this. I’ve never done this before, remember?”
“I remember. And if it makes you feel any better, I am not used to doing this either.”
“Sharing your shower?”
“Exactly. But it doesn’t follow that it is unwelcome. None of this is unwelcome. Change, I am discovering, is good for the soul.”
“Have you done a lot of changing lately?” she asked.
“More than you can know.” He reached out and traced a rivulet of water that ran down the slope of her breast. He brushed his thumb over her nipple and he heard her breath catch.
Damn she was so responsive. He was learning that it didn’t take much to stir her passions. He wondered how she would feel if she knew…It would all go away. All of it. Damn him.
