He understood where she was coming from, but he didn’t think of Kacey that way. He was addicted to her, but in a good way. In a healthy way. He wouldn’t use her and then throw her away. He wanted to love her for the rest of her life.
“Back to the comment you made, let me ask you something though. Did you know that everyone in this room had a slipup during their first year?”
“No, I didn’t know that.”
“All of us, even me, but you know what? We got right back up, and we tried again. So yes, live your life, but I am here to coach you, to warn you of what could happen. I was you. I thought after coming out of rehab, I’d be great for my husband and all would be good. I’d get pregnant and we’d be happy. I had a miscarriage, got drunk, hid it from him, got drunk again, and he found out and divorced me. So just remember, you have to fix you, she can’t.”
Jordie nodded.
“But always remember, you can’t change the past, Jordie. You can only make your future what you want. You have to make the decisions that will better your life.”
“And Kacey is one of them because I won’t have the future I want if I don’t have her.”
He’d never spoken truer words.
But he wanted to speak them to her.
He just hoped she gave him the chance to.
When they were done with the meeting, Jordie was heading toward the door when Phil, one of the other members, stopped him. He was a tall man, a pro football player who Jordie had known for a while. “Hey, man, what you said tonight, it really touched me. I’ve just been existing, scared I’m gonna relapse at every second. I keep forgetting to live.”
“Yeah, it’s a hard balance,” Jordie agreed, shaking his hand. “But these groups are here for a reason.”
“For sure, but man, I just wanted to let you know that I don’t look at you like you are gonna fail. I look at you like you’re gonna make it. If anyone could do it, it’s you.”
He then pulled Jordie into a manly hug, slapping his back. “Stay strong, bro,” he said and he waved at Karl before walking away.
“He’s right,” Karl said and Jordie looked back at him.
“I know, I just have to fight for it,” Jordie said before pushing the door open and heading out with Karl on his tail.
“Yeah, and you will. You have a great support system.”
“I do. Hoping to add your daughter to the top of the list,” he said with a grin before going outside. Once in the sunlight, Jordie took in a long breath. It was the moment of truth. It only took six minutes to get to El Bracero from the church where the meeting was held. He had planned to walk but then remembered that he had Karl with him.
“You okay?” Karl asked and Jordie nodded, glancing at his watch. He wasn’t supposed to meet Kacey for another twenty minutes. “Karson will get over it. I know you’re worried about that.”
He was, but he was more worried that Kacey wouldn’t show up. Then all the trouble he’d caused in his friendship with Karson would just be extra shit on top of the shit sandwich he’d have once he accepted she didn’t want him. But deep down in his soul, he knew she’d show up. She had to. If anything, just out of curiosity. For answers. For closure. But he wouldn’t let her go without a fight.
“How long you think he’ll stay mad?” Jordie asked with a sullen look. “I fucked up pretty bad. Kacey is his baby sister and your baby… I’m surprised you aren’t trying to swing at me.”
Karl chuckled. “Between Karson and Regina, I think you got a beating. Plus, I know Kacey, she can handle her own. If she wanted to hurt you, she’d hurt you. She don’t like me picking up the pieces of her heart. It embarrasses her. She’s a prideful woman, that daughter of mine.”
“That’s the damn truth,” Jordie agreed. “That’s why I’m worried she won’t give me another chance.”
Karl nodded. “She probably won’t,” he said, which had Jordie gawking at him. “So you work for her love. You show her who you are and pray that she’ll give you another chance.”
Jordie nodded as he looked to the left, fishing his keys out of his pocket. “I gotta go meet said prideful woman at the Mexican restaurant down the road, hand her my balls on a silver platter, and own up to my mistakes. Here are my keys. If she doesn’t show, I’ll take a cab home. Or if she tells me to kiss it, I’ll take one home.”
Karl laughed, slapping his shoulder. “I’ll go with you. If she shows, I’ll leave. If she doesn’t, we’ll eat and... Shit, I was about to say drink margaritas.”
Jordie laughed along with him. “Yeah, that can’t happen.”
“How depressing. Way to go, ruining the fun for everyone,” he said with a wink and Jordie grinned.
“You didn’t know? I’m a fuckup,” Jordie joked but Karl paused, shaking his head.
“No, Jordie, you’re not. Not anymore,” he said, squeezing his shoulder. “You’re a damn good man with a past that you’re working on. Now, come on.”
As he walked away, Jordie stood there and let his words sink in. He was right. He wasn’t a fuckup anymore. His past was full of all his mistakes, but he was fixing each one. But this one… The one that he made with Kacey was the biggest and the one he most regretted.
But he would fix it.
Why was she the only normal one in her family?
The whole way to Liam’s house, she replayed everything that happened and really didn’t understand how it had even occurred. She and Lacey were usually careful when they talked about Jordie, but apparently they weren’t careful enough. She still couldn’t believe that Karson hit Jordie repeatedly like that. He was a big doofus, but a sweet doofus, and, God, she loved him. But she still couldn’t believe it. Did Jordie deserve that? Oh, yeah. But did she like seeing him bleeding? No. Each drop of blood might as well have been hers. It was horrifying to see and all just so stupid.
“Back to the comment you made, let me ask you something though. Did you know that everyone in this room had a slipup during their first year?”
“No, I didn’t know that.”
“All of us, even me, but you know what? We got right back up, and we tried again. So yes, live your life, but I am here to coach you, to warn you of what could happen. I was you. I thought after coming out of rehab, I’d be great for my husband and all would be good. I’d get pregnant and we’d be happy. I had a miscarriage, got drunk, hid it from him, got drunk again, and he found out and divorced me. So just remember, you have to fix you, she can’t.”
Jordie nodded.
“But always remember, you can’t change the past, Jordie. You can only make your future what you want. You have to make the decisions that will better your life.”
“And Kacey is one of them because I won’t have the future I want if I don’t have her.”
He’d never spoken truer words.
But he wanted to speak them to her.
He just hoped she gave him the chance to.
When they were done with the meeting, Jordie was heading toward the door when Phil, one of the other members, stopped him. He was a tall man, a pro football player who Jordie had known for a while. “Hey, man, what you said tonight, it really touched me. I’ve just been existing, scared I’m gonna relapse at every second. I keep forgetting to live.”
“Yeah, it’s a hard balance,” Jordie agreed, shaking his hand. “But these groups are here for a reason.”
“For sure, but man, I just wanted to let you know that I don’t look at you like you are gonna fail. I look at you like you’re gonna make it. If anyone could do it, it’s you.”
He then pulled Jordie into a manly hug, slapping his back. “Stay strong, bro,” he said and he waved at Karl before walking away.
“He’s right,” Karl said and Jordie looked back at him.
“I know, I just have to fight for it,” Jordie said before pushing the door open and heading out with Karl on his tail.
“Yeah, and you will. You have a great support system.”
“I do. Hoping to add your daughter to the top of the list,” he said with a grin before going outside. Once in the sunlight, Jordie took in a long breath. It was the moment of truth. It only took six minutes to get to El Bracero from the church where the meeting was held. He had planned to walk but then remembered that he had Karl with him.
“You okay?” Karl asked and Jordie nodded, glancing at his watch. He wasn’t supposed to meet Kacey for another twenty minutes. “Karson will get over it. I know you’re worried about that.”
He was, but he was more worried that Kacey wouldn’t show up. Then all the trouble he’d caused in his friendship with Karson would just be extra shit on top of the shit sandwich he’d have once he accepted she didn’t want him. But deep down in his soul, he knew she’d show up. She had to. If anything, just out of curiosity. For answers. For closure. But he wouldn’t let her go without a fight.
“How long you think he’ll stay mad?” Jordie asked with a sullen look. “I fucked up pretty bad. Kacey is his baby sister and your baby… I’m surprised you aren’t trying to swing at me.”
Karl chuckled. “Between Karson and Regina, I think you got a beating. Plus, I know Kacey, she can handle her own. If she wanted to hurt you, she’d hurt you. She don’t like me picking up the pieces of her heart. It embarrasses her. She’s a prideful woman, that daughter of mine.”
“That’s the damn truth,” Jordie agreed. “That’s why I’m worried she won’t give me another chance.”
Karl nodded. “She probably won’t,” he said, which had Jordie gawking at him. “So you work for her love. You show her who you are and pray that she’ll give you another chance.”
Jordie nodded as he looked to the left, fishing his keys out of his pocket. “I gotta go meet said prideful woman at the Mexican restaurant down the road, hand her my balls on a silver platter, and own up to my mistakes. Here are my keys. If she doesn’t show, I’ll take a cab home. Or if she tells me to kiss it, I’ll take one home.”
Karl laughed, slapping his shoulder. “I’ll go with you. If she shows, I’ll leave. If she doesn’t, we’ll eat and... Shit, I was about to say drink margaritas.”
Jordie laughed along with him. “Yeah, that can’t happen.”
“How depressing. Way to go, ruining the fun for everyone,” he said with a wink and Jordie grinned.
“You didn’t know? I’m a fuckup,” Jordie joked but Karl paused, shaking his head.
“No, Jordie, you’re not. Not anymore,” he said, squeezing his shoulder. “You’re a damn good man with a past that you’re working on. Now, come on.”
As he walked away, Jordie stood there and let his words sink in. He was right. He wasn’t a fuckup anymore. His past was full of all his mistakes, but he was fixing each one. But this one… The one that he made with Kacey was the biggest and the one he most regretted.
But he would fix it.
Why was she the only normal one in her family?
The whole way to Liam’s house, she replayed everything that happened and really didn’t understand how it had even occurred. She and Lacey were usually careful when they talked about Jordie, but apparently they weren’t careful enough. She still couldn’t believe that Karson hit Jordie repeatedly like that. He was a big doofus, but a sweet doofus, and, God, she loved him. But she still couldn’t believe it. Did Jordie deserve that? Oh, yeah. But did she like seeing him bleeding? No. Each drop of blood might as well have been hers. It was horrifying to see and all just so stupid.
