Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans
Page 6

 Gerry Bartlett

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Ian smiled. “Powerful entities can erase your memory and change it completely, you know that. This background you think you have may be entirely fabricated. If we do discover what species you belong to and it’s not human as I suspect…” Ian patted my shoulder again. “Sorry, Glory, but you may have to come to terms with the fact that everything you thought about yourself is a lie.”
“Species? A lie?” I swallowed. “Even my name?”
“Probably.” Ian put his notebook away. “Now about the DNA test Valdez mentioned. I can do one while the woman is pregnant, but it might endanger the fetus. The fact that she’s a demon makes this even more complicated, though intriguing, of course. I assume she’s a pure demon so I’ll definitely want a blood sample from her.” Ian had the nerve to wink at me. Like we were coconspirators or something. “As for the DNA test, is the woman willing to undergo the procedure?”
I felt whiplash from the subject change. “Alesa probably won’t allow anything that might hurt the baby. She wants it and wants Rafe. The longer she can string this out, the better in her mind. What you said about endangering the fetus just gave her an out. And I’ll have to tell her the truth about the risks. I’d never lie about something like that. She can read my mind through my blocks, anyway.” I sighed. “I’ll let Rafe know. Can you examine her? Be her OB for this?”
“Since I seem to be the only paranormal doctor in Austin, I guess I’ll have to be. I’ve never worked with a demon before.” Ian frowned. “I want to examine her right away, of course, and I’ll definitely want to do an ultrasound. I’ll have to order a machine but that’s no problem. I wonder if demons ever have multiples.”
“Twins? Triplets? A litter of demons? Life could not be that cruel.” I closed my eyes, sending a prayer straight to the Man Upstairs. Then I made myself look at Ian again. He was studying me, like he was looking for weird symptoms.
“While you’re at it, see if you can pinpoint exactly when this baby was conceived. Alesa’s saying she got preggers when she was inside me.” I stood, felt the room wobble, then got it under control. “Is that possible? She was just a spirit or something, inhabiting my body, when Rafe and I did the deed. I don’t see how she could conceive that way.”
“When you’re dealing with nonhumans, I’ve learned anything’s possible.” Ian pulled a small black leather case out of his jeans pocket. “Can I take that fresh blood sample now?”
“Came prepared, didn’t you?”
“I’ve been carrying this around in case I run across an unusual type of nonhuman. But I want a new sample of your blood to see if anything’s changed since I took the first one. Do you mind?” Ian opened the case and pulled out a syringe and an extra vial.
“No, have at it. I want answers too. But I do take blood from Jerry on a regular basis. Drank some just last night.” I unbuttoned my sleeve and pulled it up then held out my left arm.
“I’m sure you also drink synthetics. Doesn’t matter. Your core type should remain unchanged.” Ian wrapped a tourniquet around my upper arm. “Just like mortals eat rare beef but their blood doesn’t become like that of a cow’s.”
“Nice comparison, Ian.” I winced when he tapped a vein with a finger then stuck me with a needle.
“Of course ingesting any substance can temporarily alter our blood, like the drugs I sell. Uppers, downers, the daylight thing. But it doesn’t last.” Ian didn’t look at me, just released the tourniquet and watched my blood fill a vial, as if interested in the color.
“Maybe you got my sample mixed up with someone or something else’s.”
“Not possible. I keep meticulous records. Crosscheck everything. And I think you know how I am about security.” Ian filled several vials efficiently.
Yes, Ian had an army of guards. Whether they were to keep Campbells out or to guard the secret to his various drugs, which were very expensive, I didn’t know or care. After he slipped the needle out of my arm, he wiped a drop of blood from the spot with his finger and tasted it.
“You know, I’ve discovered something else interesting about your blood, Gloriana.”
“What?” The way Ian was staring at my jugular made me wish I’d worn a turtleneck.
“It contains special properties.” He moved closer until I was almost lying back on the table. “Don’t suppose you’d let me have a real taste.”
“Don’t suppose. Back off.” I used a vamp move to get away from him and onto the other side of the room. “Now what do you mean? What special properties?”
Ian smiled. “I concentrated one of the vials I took from you before into a few tablets, then ran a little experiment.” He sat on the edge of the table, his eyes suddenly sparkling with the excitement of a scientist who’d discovered something great. “Imagine, Glory, your blood actually enhanced my vision, gave me strength and”—his smile turned wicked—“did great things for my libido.” He flashed his fangs at me. “I don’t know what in the hell you are but, woman, your blood is very, um, compelling.”
“Hold it. You took some of my blood?” I kept my distance as he stared at me like I was the hottest thing since Vampire Viagra.
“I did. In the interest of science. It was a small dose but the benefits! No wonder Campbell wants you all to himself.” He tapped his pen against his notebook. “I didn’t give the bastard credit. But then he can hardly help himself. You’re bound to be addictive.”
“Don’t play mind games with me, Ian. Jerry loves me. He stays with me because he wants to.” I stomped over to face him. “What is so hot about my blood again? Spell it out.”
“I told you. It enhanced all of my senses. I could see things more clearly, hear what was being said a block away, much farther than before.” Ian flexed his hands. “And strength. I think I could have ripped that steel door off its hinges without breaking a sweat.”
My mind was racing. Jerry had never said a word about my blood being special. And my other vampires lovers? They’d been few and far between. Because I’d been selective and drawn more to mortals when Jerry and I had been apart. Men I could easily control and who certainly never drank my blood.
“We could make a fortune with your blood, Gloriana. Imagine. Vampires will pay big bucks for the chance at that kind of boost. And all you’d have to do is donate a pint every once in a while. I’d do all the rest.” Ian carefully stowed my blood vials in a padded container and slipped it into his pocket along with his black case. His eyes were bright and he scribbled something in one of his damned notebooks. “Who knows what else we may find it can do as I investigate further?”
“I’ve listened to Jerry rant about your family for years. Now you think I’d go into business with you? Get real.” My needle prick had already healed so I rolled down my sleeve and buttoned it.
“Just think about it. You’re always in need of funds to hear Penny tell it and I have even come up with a name: Clarity. Brilliant if I do say so myself. A play on your name, though we’d have to keep you anonymous. Wouldn’t want some nefarious characters like those Energy Vampires to get hold of you and drain you for their own profit.”
“Hold it. Stop. I’m having a moment of clarity myself. This is a crock. I don’t believe a word of it.” I shook my head. And even if it was true, I’d had enough run-ins with the EVs to know I wasn’t about to do anything that made me attractive to them.
“I thought you’d say that.” He picked up his phone. “Send her in.” He smiled. “I have someone in the car who I think you will believe.”
“What?” I heard a sharp knock then the door from the shop swung open and Penny walked in. “Please don’t tell me Ian has let you try one of his drugs.”
Penny looked down at her black flats. She was in the jeans I’d picked out for her and a nice black jacket with a green shell underneath. The girl who’d arrived at my door months ago looking like a Goth reject had come a long way. Now she cleared her throat.
“We are scientists, Glory. Sometimes we…”
“Experiment on yourselves? I don’t think so.” I stalked up to Ian. “What did you make her do? You know Penny needs this job. Tell me you didn’t threaten her to make her try some of your weirdo drugs.”
“I didn’t force the girl to do anything. Did I, Penny?” Ian relaxed against one wall.
“No, Glory. I wanted to try Clarity. Ian kept raving about the effects and we’d been doing all these experiments on your blood.” She moved closer and put her hand on my arm. “I guess he told you the bad news.”
“That I’m not human? You seriously believe that?” I sat down in the chair, my legs suddenly useless again.
“The evidence is there, irrefutable. I’m sorry, Glory. I wish we could tell you something different. But the good news is your blood is the bomb!” Penny laughed. “I took a small dose and, my gosh, the things I could see, smell, hear. And then I went home and just jumped Trey’s bones. The poor guy didn’t know what hit him. Though he was happy enough to want more of the same.”
“Too much info, Penny.” I leaned back. It was easy to see that Penny was telling the truth. My blood could actually do those things. “Clarity. Clever. And, what, I’d just put a spigot in my arm or neck so you both could siphon off what you need?” I waved my hands in a shooing motion. “You’re both crazy if you think I’m going for this.”
“Don’t dramatize, Gloriana. It would be a simple blood draw, a pint at a time.” Ian frowned and it looked like Penny was about to burst into tears.
“Seriously? You’d let this opportunity pass you by? Think of the implications. For science.” Penny sighed.
“No, it would be to make money. Right, Ian? I see no great value to science. It’s nothing but another kind of Vamp Viagra. I don’t think so, no matter how much I’d like to be rich.”