Real Vampires Know Hips Happen
Chapter Four

"The doctor should be here anytime now." Angus looked at his watch for the third time in as many minutes. "Gloriana, why don't you take your rental car to Edinburgh and turn it in? You did say you were anxious to stop paying on it, didn't you?"
"Yes, I did. But maybe I should keep it. I don't know how long I'll be staying." I looked from Angus to Jerry. If just one of them would show some sign of wanting me here, it would make me feel better. But ever since I'd walked out of the bedroom at sunset, I had been waiting for that sign. No luck.
"Who is this doctor? Do I know him?" Jerry paced the living room, his agitation growing worse by the hour. He'd badgered Angus about the horses until his father had arranged to hire one for him. It would arrive soon too, borrowed from a neighboring stable and hauled in by trailer. So far Jerry had resisted going for a ride in a "machine."
"He's a vampire, related to the O'Connors. He's highly respected, trained at the college in Edinburgh, but has been all over the world. Including America for the past century." Angus nodded at me. "I actually know his sire. We were lucky he was nearby, visiting relatives."
"Lucky?" Jerry collapsed on the sofa. "I don't like it, Da. All these coincidences. This woman arrives and right away I'm stabbed with some potion that takes my mind with it. And by Mara! An old and trusted friend." Jerry narrowed his gaze on me. "Are you in league with this O'Connor who'll be arriving shortly?"
"I've never met him." I threw up my hands. "This woman?" I felt wounded but wouldn't let him see my pain. "Damn it, Jerry, I came here to straighten things out between us. So that we could try again. Make a fresh start."
"What went wrong between us? Why do we need a fresh start after all these years?" Jerry stood, facing me. "I obviously left you in that place where we lived together and came home alone. What set me off, Gloriana? Was I with another woman? Or were you with another man?"
I gnawed my lower lip. Angus stared at me too. I figured I might as well get this over with. "You were faithful to me Jerry. Always." I tried and failed at a smile. "But I, I wasn't so good at the relationship. I had an affair. It was a terrible mistake. But I found out there was a reason I have these urges that, that make me stray."
"Urges." The look of distaste on Angus's face made me want to run right out of the castle. "No wonder you left her, Son. Good riddance, I say. Campbells have pride. There's no reason I can think of to justify taking back a woman who has been unfaithful."
"Just listen to me." I could see that both men were ready to toss me out of the castle on my well-cushioned fanny. "I don't think I could help myself. I just discovered that I used to be a Siren, Angus. Before Jerry found me in London." I blurted it out and got the incredulous looks I'd expected.
"A Siren? Are ye daft?" Angus stomped his foot. "What nonsense. Don't believe her, Jeremiah. They aren't of this world and certainly not the likes of this piece of work standing here before us." He grabbed Jerry's arm and jerked him well away from me.
"Stop, Da. Let her speak. A Siren? And how is that possible?" Jerry stumbled to the sofa, his face pale.
I'd never seen him weak before and it broke my heart. What had my mother's potion done to him? What was it still doing to him? I started to move closer but the look on his father's face stopped me cold. Angus had murder in his eyes, his fangs were down, and I knew how he felt. Oh, boy, did I know. If I had my so-called mother here now, I'd tear open her throat and watch her bleed out, enjoy her painful death. I stepped back, giving Jerry his space. Angus still watched me, obviously ready to jump me if I so much as touched his son.
"Okay, here's the truth."
"Truth. I should hope so." At least Angus's fangs had disappeared and he sat in his recliner.
"It seems that before I met you, the Storm God, who is in charge of Sirens, was unhappy with me. He tossed me out of his, um, harem and punished me by making me human." Angus made a noise of disbelief but Jerry leaned forward, listening.
"Go on. Are you saying you were human when I met you?" He rubbed his forehead. Headache again. I twisted my hands together to keep from reaching for him.
"Yes! Achelous figured I'd die a natural death on my own. When you saw me onstage and fell in...in love with me, you had no idea what I'd been and I didn't remember my past. Achy wiped away my memories and planted false ones." I realized how ridiculous this story sounded but rushed on. "Anyway, being made vampire gave me back my immortality. Which Achelous didn't know about until recently." I wiped my damp palms on my skirt. It was another short one. Yes, Jerry had noticed. I eased a little closer.
"That doesn't explain why you never married me, Gloriana. If you say you love me, why wouldn't you?" He glared at me and I was pretty sure not all of the pain in those dark eyes was from his aching head. "And why did you betray me with another man?"
"It's the Siren in me!" I glanced back at Angus, who still looked ready to intervene if I made a move he considered aggressive. I kept my distance from Jerry even though I wanted desperately to sit beside him, to touch him. "I think somewhere inside me I still have whatever it is that makes a Siren go from man to man. It must be what kept me from committing to you all those years."
"Are you buying this cock-and-bull story, son?" Angus stood. "If you were a Siren, Gloriana, and I'm still not buying it, then you used my boy to gain a protector. It's their way."
"Wait a minute. I still can't believe Sirens are real." Jerry stared at me like he was waiting for me to sprout a fish tail.
"They are real. You even knew one in Austin. Aggie. She's a friend, sort of anyway. They're selfish creatures, man magnets. One reason you came home was because you were afraid I had used you, just as Angus said. That, if I was a Siren, you'd been manipulated all these years. A true Siren can pull any man to her and he can't resist her call." I sank down on my knees in front of him, ready to beg him to believe me if it came to that.
"Did you? Manipulate me?" Jerry stared down at me.
"No. Never. I found out that it's only a Siren's song that can pull men helplessly to her. That's why I went to a hell of a lot of trouble, actually suffered, if you must know, to get over here, Jer. To tell you this in person." I put my hand on his knee. "Listen. This is the truth. I swear it." My voice cracked. The trip had been a nightmare, and then to get here and have this happen...
"If you sang me to you all those centuries ago..." He tried to lift my hand off of him in disgust but I grabbed his arm, my tears drying up in a hurry.
"I didn't! The Storm God stole my song when he made me human. I know you can't remember now, but when you met me I couldn't sing at all. Believe me, I tried. It would have helped me make a living when Achelous left me to fend for myself. But I have no singing voice. We even joked about it." He glared down at my hand but I wasn't about to let him go. "Please, please believe me." I heard Angus snort but didn't spare him a glance. This was too important. I held on and stared into Jerry's dark eyes.
"Prove it. Sing something. Right now." He flung my hand.
I couldn't believe this was the man I'd known so intimately for so long. The man who'd held me, protected me, insisted I take on a bodyguard for centuries! But this Jerry just stared at me, waiting for "proof."
"Fine. 'Loch Lomond.' It used to be one of your favorites." I sat back on the floor, took a breath and started in. "You take the high road and I'll take the low road - "
"Stop." Jerry held up his hands. "Either you really can't sing or you're making fools of us now."
"No, now I remember. The girl always did sing like someone had just stepped on a bagpipe. We forbid her to join in when we sang around a fire." Angus leaned forward, hands on his sturdy knees. "You've got my attention, lass. Go on with your tale."
I got up and collapsed in relief on the love seat across from Jerry. "You see, without my song I couldn't cast a spell on you. You could have left me anytime. But you didn't." I looked my fill while he seemed deep in thought. He wore a soft knit shirt today and jeans. Modern clothes. I guess he'd decided to test them out, to see if they brought back some memories. If only it were that simple. But he still had a stranger's eyes when he finally looked at me again.
"But you say we were together for centuries. I thought Sirens didn't bother with relationships, they only wanted to get a man close enough to kill." He didn't shrug away from me when I moved over to sit next to him on the couch.
"That's true. It's the reason Achelous got rid of me. I didn't have the stomach for the killing." I heard Angus clear his throat. When I glanced at him, he nodded with a glimmer of recognition in his eyes, remembering my reluctance to hurt anything.
"Anyway, the Storm God knew how important her song is to a Siren. It's her identity. So he took mine away when he turned me human, the rat bastard. I could never put you under my spell, Jerry, even if I'd wanted to get you that way. I was just ordinary Gloriana when you met me and f-fell in love." No, not crying. He'd finally remember me, he had to. "And you stayed in love with me for four centuries. Through good times and bad." I twisted my hands in my lap when all I wanted to do was touch him again, feel his skin against mine. But his incredulous face, his hard eyes kept me from making that move.
"In love? Sounds like an obsession. I loved you even when you had sex with other men? You just admitted you couldn't be content with just one man because of the 'Siren' in you." He jerked to his feet so suddenly the couch rocked. "By God, woman, was I not enough for you?"
If I hadn't known better, I'd have thought he was struggling not to hit me. But my Jerry never touched a woman in anger. This Jerry, this stranger with a face that could have been carved from the stones of the castle itself, paced the floor, smacking his fist into his palm. I glanced at Angus and wished I hadn't. He'd lost all sympathy for me, sending me a mental message to get the hell out of his home. I shook my head.
Jerry stopped in front of me, clearly waiting for an answer. I hated myself for hurting him. Why hadn't he been enough? Sure, I'd had my reasons for taking breaks. His controlling attitude for one. But now was not the time to trot out those issues. I was desperate to make a connection with him.
"I loved you, Jerry. I did. I'm flawed, I guess. But now that I know what was wrong with me, the Siren part of me, I'm determined to change. To fix this." I got up, desperate to get close again, but a pounding on the door stopped me.
"That's got to be the doctor." Angus got up. "And just in time. Quit pressuring him, Gloriana. And I think it best if Jeremiah decides for himself if he wants to forgive a woman who betrayed him." Angus brushed past me, his frown making it obvious he'd just as soon I hit the road.
"He's right. I have to decide for myself." Jerry shook his head. "I have too much to think about right now. Too many things to get used to. A bloody Siren." He stared up at the ceiling, obviously overwhelmed by what he'd just heard. "Shit. If I didn't think you were somehow the key to getting my mind back, I'd toss you out on your ass right now. Instead..." He pushed his fingers into his hair in a familiar gesture that made my heart turn over. "Well, hell, I don't get it, but I need to understand it."
"You want me to stay?" I stepped back as a tall handsome man stalked into the room as if he owned it. He was blond, blue-eyed and wore a suit that cost more than the rental car I'd driven to the castle, his tie a clan plaid. He swept me with a glance and then dismissed me before fixing his bright gaze on Jerry. Jerry nodded at me before focusing on the new arrival.
"Thank you, Laird. Jeremiah Campbell?" He held out his hand and Jerry shook it. "Sir, I'm Bartholomew O'Connor, your doctor if you'll permit it. Call me Bart. Let's go to your bedroom and I'll have a look at you without everyone gawking, shall we? Your father told me a bit about what happened." He held up a hand when Angus started to protest. "This is between Jeremiah and me. Am I correct, Jeremiah?"
"Yes, you are, Bart. And call me Jerry." He glanced at me. "It seems to be what my friends call me these days."
"Excellent. Show me the way." Bart stopped next to the door to collect a large black bag then followed Jerry out of the room.
"Well, that was high-handed." Angus muttered, picking up the remote and turning on the television set.
"Yes, but the right way to handle Jerry." I sighed and sat on the sofa, prepared for a wait. "The doctor seemed confident and competent. If the cost of his suit is any indication."
"He's top drawer. Cost the earth too. But I don't mind paying the freight if he brings my boy back to me." Angus settled back, a car race on the tube. "I'll give him that knife to analyze. That was a good idea. Maybe he can come up with an antidote. Not giving a MacDonald any part of this, I hope you know."
"I get it, Angus. I told you, I would only go to Ian as a last resort."
"Then we're agreed. Not that you'll have any say-so in Jeremiah's treatment, come to that." Angus looked at me, one eyebrow raised.
"Jerry has asked me to stay."
"It's his call. I do remember that the boy loved you. I hope it wasn't due to some trickery on your part. Herself will be arriving here before dawn. If you have something to hide, she'll ferret it out." Angus nodded, happy to let his wife take care of me. I could only dread it.
"Herself. You mean Jerry's mother?" My stomach did a double backflip.
"None other. I called her of course, called everyone in the family. She's hell on wheels when one of her babes is in trouble. Of course she left Paris as soon as the sun set. Doesn't take that long to get here from there, flying." He punched a button on the remote and started his usual channel surfing.
"Great. Just great." I picked up the bottle of synthetic I'd opened for breakfast and took a big swallow. I'd need my strength if I was going to face Jerry's mother. To say she hated me was an understatement. She'd tried to kill me early in our relationship. Only Jerry's interference and my own cleverness had saved me. Since then we'd declared an uneasy truce. Now she'd have even more reason to want me out of her son's life. I sighed and took another drink. Maybe it was time for me to let him go. I could almost hear my mother cackling with glee at that thought.
The door into the castle opened again and a whirlwind of activity got Angus and me to our feet. Before I knew what had hit me I was wrapped in an embrace and a cloud of expensive perfume.
"Glory, I got here as soon as I could. Did I beat Ma?"
I pulled back and looked over the woman who rushed from me to the laird. Caitlin Campbell, one of Jerry's sisters, had always been my ally. I found myself grinning as she started in on her father.
"You haven't been bullying Glory, have you, Da?"
"Now, Caitie, I have to protect your brother. She no more than arrives than he's set upon and stabbed. What do you think about that?" Angus frowned and settled back into his chair, the TV on mute.
"I say it's pure bad luck. She didn't stab him, did she?" Cait glanced at me. "Not that my brother can't be provoking."
"Of course not. We'd had a fine reunion. Jer was glad to see me." I couldn't quit smiling. I did love Jerry's sister. She was tall, with generous curves, and never failed to speak her mind. In fact, she was a lot like my best bud Flo except twice the size and Scottish.
"Da said Mara actually wielded the knife. But then she's set to marry a McLeod. Can't figure out the connection there." Cait turned and started directing the "lads" as she called them as to where to put a large amount of very expensive luggage.
"There is no connection, Caitie. Mara was spelled. By a witch. She didn't know what she was doing when she attacked your brother." Angus still looked at me suspiciously. "Of course it happened just minutes after Gloriana got here."
"Leave it alone, Da. Glory would never hurt Jeremiah. Not like that. Give the girl credit for more finesse." Cait sat beside me on the love seat. "Update. What's going on now? Has he remembered you yet?"
"No, not a glimmer. And I had to confess what had caused him to come home without me. It was pretty ugly stuff." I sighed then gave her the short version.
"A Siren. How cool is that?" Cait looked me over. "Powers come with that?"
"A few. I'll show you later." We all looked toward the hall when the doctor and Jerry emerged. The doctor looked grim until he spotted Caitlin. He instantly became all charm. Did I mention Jerry's sister had her brother's dark good looks? Add those to her generous curves and Cait was something of a man magnet herself.
"I'm going to have to run some tests. Jerry and I are headed to my clinic in the city, Laird." He nodded toward the love seat where Cait and I were crammed thigh to thigh. "Bart O'Connor."
Cait jumped to her feet, dragging me with her. "I'm Jerry's sister Caitlin and this is Gloriana St. Clair, his girlfriend, the one he can't remember after, oh, four centuries. Any idea what's up with that, Doc?"
"It's a very unusual case. Selective amnesia, I guess you could call it. That's why I want the tests. A brain scan for one." Bart moved closer. "I'm wondering why we haven't met before, Caitlin. Get into the city often?"
"No. I live in London now. Divorced my first husband a century and a half ago and have been bouncing around Europe ever since." Cait put her arm through mine. "Glory taught me the wisdom of avoiding long-term entanglements."
"Quit spouting your feminist nonsense and listen to the doctor." Angus moved in between Cait and Bart. "Now what do you think? Is there a cure?"
"Da, leave him alone. The man just got my case." Jerry looked pale and I could tell he needed to feed.
"Would you like to drink from me, Jer?" I scooted to his side. "I won't mind. You are obviously weak and I hope taking some of my blood will help you remember."
"Not necessarily a bad idea." Bart finally gave me his full attention. "You two really were an item for centuries?" He sounded skeptical.
"Yes. Jerry loves me and I love him. I'll do whatever it takes to help him remember that fact." I held out my wrist, waving it under Jerry's nose.
"No, I don't want your blood. Not now. After what I heard a few minutes ago, you really think I want to be that close to you?" He shoved my arm away. "Bring me some of that fake blood. It's tolerable and I won't be any more beholden to you, Gloriana, than I already am."
"Beholden?" I stepped back, bumping into Caitlin. "Damn it, Jerry, I'd give my blood, my life, if it would help you get your memory back." I turned and stared blindly at the TV, the cars whizzing past in a blur that was caused more by my tears than their speed as a yellow flag waved in the corner of the screen.
"Jeremiah, don't be an ass. Glory loves you. Let her prove it." Cait poked her brother in the chest before putting an arm around my shoulders. "You don't seriously think she was behind your stabbing, do you?"
"I don't know what the hell to think." He took a bottle of synthetic from a servant and drank. "I'm glad you're here, Caitie, but I'm disappointed that you'd take this woman's side over your own brother's."
"This woman is my friend. You loved her. Still love her when you aren't daft." Cait turned me to face him. "I believe her when she says she didn't have anything to do with your stabbing. When you get your mind back, you're going to have to grovel to get her to forgive you."
Jerry just drank the rest of his AB positive and set the empty on a tray with a clatter. "We'll see. I'm taking it one night at a time. Now let's get out of here, Bart. Don't suppose you brought a horse."
"No, of course not. We'll go in my Porsche. I like fast cars." He glanced at Caitlin. "And expensive things. I promise you'll be comfortable."
"In one of those machines? Doubt it." Jerry trudged to the door, his shoulders slumped. "Bloody hell, you'd better help me get my mind back with this."
"I'll do my best." Bart winked at Cait. "Ladies, perhaps we'll see you in the city."
"You bet your stethoscope you will." Cait grabbed her designer bag. "Glory, are you still packed?"
"Yes, I didn't bother to get out more than my toothbrush last night."
"Then let's go. You follow me in that rented junker I saw parked outside and turn it in. I'll drive Jerry's Jag. We'll stay at the town house." She grinned at her father, who grumbled about high-handed women. "We need to be close to the action, Da. In case Jerry's memory needs a nudge. You know Glory is the one to remind him, don't you?"
"I suppose. But you know how your brother is about his cars. Take care with your driving." He shook his head as Caitlin kissed him on the cheek. "And don't be so quick to take sides. Gloriana is not only claiming to be a Siren, she's been acting like one. Make her tell you the whole tale, then see if you want to be her champion."
"I will. Relax, Da. I'll keep you posted about Jeremiah's condition. Tell Ma hello for me." She started ordering the long-suffering servants to bring out her luggage. "See you in town, Bart. Might even beat you there. I like fast cars too." She smiled at the doctor.
I ended up having to deal with my own luggage since the servants weren't so keen on helping me. Obviously they'd been listening to the conversation in the living room and I was being eyed with suspicion. By the time I was on the road, agreeing just to meet Cait in Edinburgh later as she sped away in that gleaming Jaguar, I was pretty sure that I was well out of that castle. No one there wanted me to stay and a vampire sure doesn't like to fall into her death sleep surrounded by people she can't trust.
"I can't believe you hit that post." I frowned in dismay at Jerry's beloved Jaguar and the dent in its back bumper.
"The parking is impossible along here. I had to make a space. He'll never notice that little ding." Cait climbed out of the car and reached back for her purse.
"From now on, I'm driving." I looked up and down the narrow brick street lined with expensive town houses. Bart's offices were along there somewhere. But you'd never know it unless you looked closely at the brass plaques next to the shiny lacquered doors.
"You think you can do better? Have at it. But, remember, you will be on what you Yanks call the wrong side of the street." Cait tossed me the keys.
"I'll take my chances. Now which one is his office?" I started walking down the brick sidewalk.
"The green door. I looked it up on Google maps. See? There's his name." Cait started up the steps that led to the door. "You look a little green. What's up?"
"There's something I haven't told you, Cait. In a way, this is all my fault. The attack on Jerry." There, I'd said it and I felt better already. That is until Cait threw me up against the iron railing next to the steps. I felt the metal cutting into my back and the heat of Cait's temper flaming from her eyes.
"Explain." She jerked me down the steps and up the street before I had a chance to gasp out a word. Soon we were in a dark alley with only a stray cat and a garbage bin for company.
"It...it's my mother." I wrenched her fingers away from my throat.
"You have a mother? Since when?" Her mouth dropped open and she stepped back.
"I just found out. She's a goddess, from Olympus. You don't want to mess with her."
"She's right, Caitlin." There was a shimmering white light and the goddess herself materialized next to us. Great, just what I needed. A visit from Mommie Dearest.
"Are you kidding me?" Cait pressed back against the wall. "This is your long-lost mother?"
"So she claims anyway. I haven't seen a DNA test to prove it."
"You dare doubt me, Daughter?" Thunder shook the stones under our feet and lightning lit up the sky. "You want a blood sample? No problem. Have that doctor of yours test it and compare." She produced a silver knife and drew a line in her palm then wiped her hand across my white silk blouse.
"Thanks a heap." I stared down at the stain. "Couldn't you have used a hanky?"
"I thought this was important to you." My mother's smile was frightening.
"You're the one who made my brother lose his mind?" Caitlin was shaking beside me but her fangs were down. Uh-oh, the Campbell temper was alive and well in her.
"Yes, I am." Mom actually smiled like she was proud of herself.
"You bitch!" Cait threw herself at the goddess, hands extended like she was going to tear out some hair, maybe claw that smile off Mom's pretty face.
"Cait, no!" I needn't have bothered. Cait bounced off what must have been a force field and landed on the bricks. Sparks flew and she looked dazed.
"What the hell?" She shook her head and I recognized the way her hair was standing on end. She'd obviously taken a good hard hit with a lightning bolt. Yep, her designer shoes would never be the same. The signature red soles were blackened.
"Get out of here, vampire, before I give you a shot of amnesia like I gave your brother."
"Wait." Cait got to her feet. The woman didn't seem to know fear. She brushed off her skirt and frowned down at her shoes. I could tell she really wanted to try another attack but thought better of it. "Okay, so you claim to be Glory's mom, are even offering up a DNA sample to prove it. Fine. But she loves my brother. Why'd you do that to him? Screw with his mind? Is that any way to treat her boyfriend?" Cait looked from me to Mom.
"I don't owe you an explanation. Run along before I decide to fry you like bacon. Now I need to speak to my daughter alone." She made a shooing motion.
"Geez, and I thought my mother was a tough broad." Cait gave me a pitying look then took off as fast as her scorched pumps could carry her. She stopped at the street entrance. "I'll meet you in Bart's office, Glory."
"Keep this our secret, Cait. Please?" I had probably blown it by sharing my involvement in Jerry's problem.
"For now." Thunder clapped and lightning sizzled close enough to make her hair rise and swirl around her head. I saw her swallow then give my mother a middle finger salute. I closed my eyes, waiting for my friend to go up in smoke. Just in time I heard her say, "Okay! Whatever you say." I opened my eyes just as she ran around the corner and out of sight.