Real Vampires Know Hips Happen
Chapter Three

I sank down on a wooden bench not far from the castle, desperate to process what had just happened. I had a mother and not just any mother, a freaking goddess from Olympus. Lucky me. I pulled my sparkly pink phone from my pocket. Thank God. A signal. I hit speed dial.
"Amica, I'm glad you called. Did you make it to the castle? Was Jeremiah happy to see you? Oh, and I am in the most fun shop here in Paris. I'm buying you a little gift. Wait till you see."
The sound of Flo's voice, so full of life and normalcy, took me right over the edge. I couldn't speak, just sobbed, right into the phone.
"Mio Dio! What's wrong? Glory, speak to me!" I heard rustling in the background. "Ricardo, take these bags to the car. I'm going into the dressing room."
I took a breath of the cold air, glad that all trace of my mother's scent was gone, and managed to choke out a few words. "Flo. Sorry. Rough night."
"Obviously. So I'm glad you called me." I heard a door slam. "Now I'm in a dressing room. No one will bother us. I have spent a fortune here. So talk to me. I must know everything. What happened to you? Why are you crying?"
"I got here. Jerry was happy to see me. Until he had an accident." My voice wobbled. Accident my left foot. The bitch who claimed to be my mother had done this. Was I going to take her word for that? The mother thing. Right now I couldn't think past wanting to send her screaming back to Olympus with her butt on fire. Instead I'd wimped out. At least I hadn't jumped to her command. And I'd sure never join her in Olympus.
"Is he all right? He isn't, um, dead, is he?" Flo's voice shook too. She did love me and what hurt me, hurt her. I couldn't have a better friend.
"No, but it's almost as bad. He's lost his memory! He doesn't know me." I gripped the phone until those pretty crystals made my hand bleed. I'd learned since I'd admired the cover at the phone boutique that sparkly didn't mean practical.
"How is that possible? Assurdo. Vampires remember everything. It's a curse. Why, Ricardo remembers every stupid little thing I say to him. And I...Well, you don't want to know how many centuries worth of nonsense I have crammed into my head." Flo opened the door. "I must ask Ricardo about this."
"Yes, ask him. I need answers. How to help Jerry. He was stabbed with a poisoned knife. It made him lose the last four hundred years." I looked around, making sure no one was within earshot. Why hadn't I done that sooner? Get a grip, Glory. I lowered my voice. "I have reason to believe it came from Olympus."
"No! Will they never leave you alone?" Flo broke into a spate of Italian. "Here's Ricardo. Hang on while I tell him this."
I sat with my head down, praying her brilliant husband would figure out what to do. It wasn't long before I heard his voice on the phone.
"Gloriana, how do you know this came from Olympus?" His voice was gentle and my eyes filled again.
"I, I ran into someone who told me that's what happened, Richard. Is there anything we can do? Jerry's forgotten everything that's happened after the late fifteen hundreds, since right before he met me." I was proud that I got that out without breaking down. Forget crying. I was furious, hating my mother who didn't care what this did to her child. Didn't she want me to be happy? Not unless it was her definition of happiness. On Olympus it was all about power plays and who had the biggest, um, weapon.
"Let me do some research. Florence wants to talk to you again. I'll call if I come up with something helpful. Take care, Gloriana."
"Glory! Do you want us to come there? We will if you need us by your side. This is inferno per voi!" Flo was talking a mile a minute.
I'd picked up enough Italian to know what inferno meant. "Yeah, hell. But stay there, enjoy Paris. Unless Richard finds a cure, there's nothing you can do and I'm not sure Angus would welcome a visit from my friends right now."
"We are Jeremiah's friends too, s?" Flo sounded indignant.
"Of course you are. But things are crazy here. Just wait and I'll let you know if I need you." I sighed heavily. I should get back, see if Jerry had remembered anything. Hopefully Mara was gone.
"We're planning to go back to Austin in two weeks, Glory. If you need a ride then, just let us know. Meet us here and we will take you in our plane. There is room. For Jeremiah too if you can persuade him to come with you. Mio Dio, how you must be going crazy over this. If my Ricardo didn't know me?" I heard her take a shaky breath.
"I am going nuts and it's hard, so damned hard." I bit my lip to keep from sobbing. "Good to know I could have that ride. I might need it." Now I was the one taking a shaky breath. "Thanks, Flo. For listening. Now I've got to go. Who knows? Maybe Jerry will have come to his senses by now." I got up and brushed down my skirt. I had put it on with such high hopes mere hours ago.
"Always, I am always here for you, mi amica. Call me anytime. Good luck, eh?" Flo ended the call.
I tucked the phone back in my pocket and headed down the path. I needed more than luck. I needed a miracle. At home I had resources, friends who'd become more like family. Here I was an outsider already looked on with suspicion. On previous visits I'd had Jerry beside me as a buffer, always my champion. Now he just figured me for a blood donor and maybe a bed partner. Was it worth the humiliation to offer to share his bed? Hoping that the sex would stir some memories?
I looked back toward the bridge, but it was lost in the mist. If that woman, aka my mother, was right, it would take a lot more than that to break through Jerry's mental fog. I reached the door to the family quarters but it opened before I could turn the knob. Security cameras at work.
"You were gone quite a while." Jerry frowned at me. "I heard you talking to someone."
"I called a friend. And how do you know I was talking? Did you have me followed?" Damn. Had someone seen me on the bridge with my mother?
"No. But Da did send someone out a few minutes ago when it seemed you might have gotten lost in the fog." He reached for my arm and pulled me inside. "He's convinced me that we know each other, you and I. Come tell me more about this place called Austin and our lives there. Why did I come home without you?"
Oh, great. Was I supposed to tell him he'd still been licking his wounds because I'd been unfaithful? Not going to happen. Not when he needed to process one piece of info at a time. First, our relationship. Which was complicated enough.
"We had a bit of a falling out. A misunderstanding. Which is why I'm here. To clear things up. I found out some things that should make you feel better about our relationship." I looked around the living room. Angus had disappeared. I guess to give Jerry and me some private time. Great. I owed him.
"I still don't understand how I could be with the same woman for hundreds of years and not marry her. It's a sin, Gloriana, living like that. I should have made an honest woman of you long ago." Jerry looked really earnest as he took a seat beside me on the couch.
I hid a smile. Sinning had never concerned the Jeremiah Campbell I'd met in London all those years ago. He really had regressed into someone I wasn't sure I knew at all. But I had to like him. He was so obviously worried about how he'd treated me.
"It was me, Jerry. I wouldn't marry you. You did offer." I put my hand over his.
"Not want my name?" He jerked his hand away. "Why not?" He stared down at my exposed legs. I kept forgetting the short skirt was screaming "slut" in his sixteenth-century brain.
"I didn't understand it at the time, but it had something to do with my background. I was reluctant to commit to one man." Uh-oh. I saw a look on his face that could only be described as distaste.
"Stop it. I wasn't a...a whore." I hurried on. "Times have changed dramatically since those that you remember, Jer. People no longer have to marry to be a happy couple or to live together publicly and be accepted in society."
"You can't be serious. What does the Church think of this?" He eased back so that he was as far away from me as possible on the three-seater couch.
"Doesn't approve, of course. Some things never change." Oh, great. That made him frown even more fiercely. "Come on, Jerry, you were never a churchgoer, not since I've known you." I sat back. I wasn't making headway, far from it. Obviously, rebuilding our relationship wasn't going to be easy, and I was tired. Dawn was pulling at me.
"No, you're right. I never let a disapproving priest stop me from my pleasures. Mara reminded me of that. A child. That was a surprise. Have you met her?"
"Lily? Of course. She's beautiful and looks a lot like you, truth be told. But she has her mother's nature. She and Mara don't get along." I was suddenly exhausted and had a feeling the fog had done a number on my hair. I was ready to escape to my bedroom.
Jerry just stared at me and I could almost see him trying to find me in the dark recesses of his memory. He finally shook his head. "Are you all right?" He reached out and brushed a wild curl back from my cheek. "You gave me a good bit of your blood tonight. Perhaps you should rest."
"Yes, I need to. I'm worn out, physically and mentally." I grabbed his hand. "I know you are too." I was going for it. Maybe a new memory would stir the old ones. "Would you like for me to come to bed with you? If...if we lie together, maybe it will help. I hope - "
"I won't deny I'm tempted. There is something about you..." He looked into my eyes, searching for our connection again. I knew it the instant he came up empty. But he kept eyeing me. The heat of his gaze as he took in my deliberately low-cut top, the short skirt and the length of my legs, scandalous to an ancient male, gave me hope that he'd at least give lust a chance. "No. I won't use you that way."
"Will you at least kiss me? What could one kiss hurt? Maybe it will stir some memories for you. The past is there somewhere. I know your daughter. Your father has vouched for me, Jer. We have been together intimately more times than I can count." I took hold of the back of his neck, gently pulling him closer. It had been a gamble, offering myself to him, and he'd just had confirmed that once a slut, always a slut. But I could see that a kiss might be in his wheelhouse.
"Why not?" He gave in, leaning forward.
I closed my eyes when his lips met mine. I tasted the man I loved, the Jerry who'd met me at the car with joy in his eyes, so eager to be with me again. I teased open his lips with my tongue and deepened the kiss when he didn't at first. Running my fingertip along his ear, I sank into the kiss. It was dear and familiar and yet strangely new. Then over too soon when he pushed back and stared at me.
"I don't know you." He jumped up and stalked to the door to the outside. Before I could even call his name, he was gone, slamming it behind him.
I held my hand to my trembling lips. He didn't know me. Well, by damn, before the two weeks were done, he certainly would or I'd catch a plane back home without him.
Wait a minute. This was exactly what my mother hoped I'd do. Give up. Maybe move on to someone she considered worthy. A fangless wonder handpicked by her if I wouldn't shoot up to Olympus and start bonding over mother-daughter nut cracking. I shuddered to imagine it. I sucked up my flagging courage and headed out the door.
I found Jerry staring at the ruins of his once formidable castle.
"What happened to my home?" He stalked over to shove aside a fallen block of stone that most men wouldn't have been able to slide even an inch.
"Your family decided centuries ago to quit wasting money on upkeep when they spent all their time belowground or in Edinburgh at the town house." They had palatial digs in the big city, near other Scottish nobility, though, as vampires, they'd lost a lot of their power in politics. Still, they had friends in high places.
"But this." Jerry strode over to read the sign about the tours. "The National Trust? What the devil is that? Da lets strangers roam the grounds during the day?" He kicked another stone out of his way. "There's even a bloody tea room."
"Well, yes. I think that's a nice feature. Should bring in a good income." I moved closer. I hated to see him so upset. Of course it had been a shock to see the home he'd last remembered as a prosperous holding reduced to little more than rubble. Only one tower remained standing and that's where the tea room and souvenir shop were located. "The National Trust is run by the Scottish government. Volunteers probably take care of the actual tours and such. I'm sure your family gets a tax break and maybe some kind of stipend for allowing visitors."
"Da lets strangers poke about in our home? By God, I never thought I'd see the day." Jerry paced around the perimeter of the castle, cursing and picking up loose stones. He stopped at the scaffolding erected against one side. "At least they're doing some repairs, I see."
"Yes, they can't let it fall down any further. It's a common thing. The taxes are really high. Many noble families do it, Jer. There's no shame in it." I kept up with Jerry as he headed for the stables. Horses. Of course he'd want to check on those. He'd be sorely disappointed. Most of the area was now a garage housing the various 4x4s used in the pastures along with the cars and Jeeps the family drove when in the country.
"Slow down, will you?" I wanted to prepare him.
"Why?" He stopped so fast I ran into him. "What is it? More bad news? This new century isn't to my liking, I'll tell you that."
"I'm sorry, Jerry. But you really do like the progress when you're, um - " I caught myself before I said "in your right mind." He narrowed his eyes. "Yourself."
"Spit it out. What's next?"
"Well, horses aren't such a big deal now. I'm not sure Angus even keeps any." I plucked at Jerry's plaid now thrown over his shoulder against the chill in the air. I wished for a sweater but wasn't about to go back for one. "I'm sorry. I know how you love to ride."
"No horses? How do you get around?" He glanced back at the castle. No cars were parked close enough for him to see in the mist, now obscuring everything.
"Cars, trucks, four-wheelers. Vehicles with engines, Jer. You'll see when we get there. Keep going. I don't know if we'll find horses. Maybe we will." I crossed my fingers.
Jerry charged down the path, so fast I had to run to keep up with him. He stopped dead when he came to the garage/stables. They were in much better repair than the castle and clearly hadn't held a horse in more than a decade. The driveway was paved and a sleek Jaguar sat in front of one of the six doors. It was Jerry's. I remembered him talking about the big engine. Lots of horsepower. But not the kind he was looking for.
He took a deep breath, obviously trying to catch a scent of horses. I knew he wasn't finding any. "Bloody hell." He stalked over to the Jaguar and stared down at it. "This is it, then? The thing I use to get around in? How do we tend the sheep?"
"You haven't tended sheep in centuries. As son of the laird I'm sure you remember that much." I had to hide a smile.
"Of course." He frowned. "We used dogs and villagers. But to get to the high pastures..."
"The men who take care of the woolly beasts use those." I pointed at a group of four-wheelers and a couple of bicycles leaning against a wall in an open doorway.
Jerry rubbed his forehead. "I have a headache. I'm going back to the house."
"I'm sorry, Jer. This is a lot to take in." I wanted to comfort him but kept my distance. I let him walk away and fingered the phone in my pocket. I needed to talk to someone else, someone who might know what to do. There was only one other person who might have the knowledge to help a vamp with amnesia and I had a feeling calling him would put me in trouble with the Campbells. If they found out about it. I looked around to make sure I was truly alone, then pulled out the phone and hit speed dial.
"Ian, I have a problem."
"Hello to you, Gloriana." He sounded as superior and amused at my stupidity as always. Ian MacDonald was a genius, a doctor, and something of a psychiatrist. If anyone knew how to help Jerry, it would be Ian. Of course he was also a vampire and Jer's sworn enemy. I'd have to make it worth his while or pique his interest to get him to help Jerry.
"I'm in Scotland, at Castle Campbell."
"Lucky you. No wonder you have a problem. Your lord and master not glad to see you?" He chuckled. Bastard.
"He was thrilled to see me. Until he had an accident."
"Fatal, I hope." Ian cleared his throat. "One of my kin finally take decent aim? Is the feud on again, and I need to watch my back?"
"No, it wasn't a MacDonald." I looked around again. Was that a security camera? No, I was being paranoid. "But he was knifed and it was coated in some kind of chemical. After the attack, Jerry woke up with amnesia."
"No kidding. Brilliant." Ian loved a good puzzle. I had him hooked. "Details, Gloriana. What does he remember? What doesn't he remember?"
"He knows his name."
"Too bad." Ian chuckled. "Keep going."
Tears clogged my throat but I fought them back down as I told him the essentials.
"Someone's been very clever. I'd like to meet them." He had that tone in his voice, the one that meant his brain was going a mile a minute and he was trying to figure this out. Good.
"Of course you would. A product like this could make you big bucks." Ian was a businessman first, scientist second.
"Of course it would. So you want my help? How? An antidote? Did you save the knife so I could analyze the potion?"
I wanted to slap my forehead. The knife. Where was it? Had Angus taken it? Of course he had. Surely he hadn't cleaned it, but someone in his efficient staff might have. I needed to find out, get it from him and ship it straight to Ian.
"Do you think you could do that? Figure out an antidote?"
"I don't know. I'd have to get a look at it first." Ian was sounding impatient. "Of course you've tried jogging his memory yourself, haven't you?"
"Yes! Everything but dance naked in front of him. That's next." My face burned when Ian laughed. But, damn it, I was desperate.
"Therapy might help but I'm sure as hell not coming there. I vowed never to return to my homeland. That clan-feud crap is in my rearview mirror. I wasted too many centuries on it." Ian sounded resolved.
"Well, now who needs therapy? A MacDonald having issues with his roots?" I smiled. Good to know the man had a vulnerability. Maybe Jerry could use that when they went head to head again.
"You'd have to bring Campbell back here. Hypnotherapy might be the thing to bring him back. Sounds like retrograde, posttraumatic amnesia. That is, if the amnesia hangs on after the drug wears off."
"Could it? Wear off?" My heart jumped and wobbled. Hope. About time.
"I have no idea, Gloriana. But it's a possibility. Pump him full of blood. Maybe that will help flush it out of his system."
"And what about hypnotizing him? You know he'd never willingly put himself under your power." I started walking back toward the castle. More blood. I could handle that.
"I'll leave the persuasion to you and your 'physical' reminders. If he still can't remember after the drug has left his system, then it's because he's got a mental block. I'd say he'll need some drastic measures to come back to his senses." Ian chuckled. "Though a Campbell doesn't have much sense to begin with."
"Drastic measures?"
"A good knock in the head, perhaps. Shock therapy." Ian chuckled. "Bring him back here and I'd be happy to try some things."
"I'm not stupid, Ian. Jerry's amnesia wasn't the result of a hit on the head. And you're not getting anywhere near him with one of your 'drastic measures.'" Egotistical man. Too bad Ian was just brilliant enough to be useful. If only he'd really forget the feud between his clan and the Campbells. I wasn't buying his "rearview mirror" comment.
"True enough. It was worth a shot. Keep me posted, Gloriana. I'm fascinated."
"Of course you are. A Campbell in trouble. I just made your night, didn't I?" This call might have been a mistake. But if anyone could figure out an antidote to my mother's potion, it was Ian, damn him. "Jerry's right not to trust you, Ian. I'd never have called a MacDonald in the first place if there were anyone else to turn to. I'll let you know what I find out." I ended the call and looked up to see Angus marching up from the family quarters. Uh-oh.
"You were talking to a MacDonald?" Angus stared at me. "Tell me, Gloriana. What exactly are you up to? Did you arrange the attack on my son?"
"No! Why would I do that? I love him." I reared back, horrified. Well, obviously security cameras had caught more than I'd realized.
Angus jerked me inside, his hold on my arm tight. "Then tell me, lass, why you were talking to a MacDonald on the telephone about my family business."
"Ian MacDonald lives in Austin. I know him, so does Jerry. He's a scientist, doctor, psychiatrist. I thought he might be able to help Jerry get his memory back." I stared down to where Angus was bruising my arm. He didn't let go, pulling me all the way to the living room.
"You claim my son has been consorting with a MacDonald in Texas? I don't believe you." He shook my arm then finally released me. "Sit. Explain yourself."
"Consorting isn't the right word. Jerry hates Ian, doesn't trust him. I get why. You people feud forever, no matter what."
"Are you trying to tell me how to run my family?" Angus had his fangs down and I was starting to get scared. I was seriously outnumbered. Two of his clansmen had come to stand in the doorway. Jerry was nowhere to be seen.
"No, of course not. But Jerry and I disagree about Ian. Ian does have certain useful skills. As vampires, we can help each other. If he can analyze the drug on that knife, maybe Ian can come up with an antidote."
"You're daft. You think I'd let my son take any potion that a MacDonald gave him, claiming it would cure him?" Angus slammed a fist on the arm of his recliner. "This isn't the first time you've had truck with this man. You were in league with him in California, taking some diet drug he gave you. Weren't you? I would think you'd have learned from that. It gave you nasty side effects."
Okay, Angus had me there. I'd been invited to the Grammy awards and wanted to look great on the red carpet alongside rock star Israel Caine. So when Ian had claimed his drug could make me lose the extra pounds I'd carried literally forever, I'd gone for it. The side effects had been horrendous, but for one perfect night I'd looked gorgeous and almost thin. Worth it. Now Angus was staring at me like I was Judas.
"I know you have issues with the MacDonalds. But I'm desperate. Who else can we get to fix this thing? Do you know a vampire doctor or scientist? Do you?" I jumped to my feet, sick to death of feeling helpless. I kept flashing on the look of Jerry's face when he'd seen his home in ruins, realized his beloved horses had been dead for centuries. Maybe I should go up to Woo Woo World with my mother and let her restore his memories. He'd get over me and have a fine life. And I...
Angus had his head down, his hands clasped on his knees. "I have been trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, Gloriana. I know you love him. I can think of no reason for you to hurt him. And yet he came home without you, seemed hurt by you. You want to explain what went on that sent him here in such pain?" He looked up, meeting my eyes and probing my thoughts. No way was he getting in.
"That's between us, Angus. I do love him and I only want the best for him. You want me to leave?" I stood. "I will say this. Ian suggested that the drug might be flushed out of Jerry's system. Give him lots of blood. If he still has amnesia, then it's because he doesn't want to remember the last four centuries."
"I can't get past two things: The attack on my son came the same night as you did, and you are communicating with a MacDonald." Angus stood as well, staring down at me. "You block your thoughts. I take that as a sign of something to hide. What do you have to hide, Gloriana?"
"Things that are none of your business, Angus. I'll be going now." I turned toward the door. "Would one of you get my suitcases?"
"No." Jerry suddenly stood in front of the door. "I may not know you, but I realize I should. Your blood. It's what I need right now. If you are still willing."
I looked back at Angus. "Your father doesn't want me here."
"Da, let her stay." Jerry took my hand and held it to his nose. "I sense we have a connection. It, it helps me."
"Damn it, Son. She's been talking to the MacDonalds." Angus strode to where we stood. "I am afraid to trust her now."
"But you remember us together, Angus." I looked up at Jerry, almost afraid to move for fear of breaking this tenuous start of a new bond. He still had my hand and I gripped it tightly. "Did I ever hurt Jerry? Ever show anything but love for him?"
"Nay, lass. You did not." Angus shook his head. "Stay then, but I'll be watching you. I have found a doctor of our own. He will be here tomorrow night. Now dawn is upon us. Go to bed, the lot of you. No harm will come to you while you are in your death sleep. I have guards aplenty to insure that."
I sighed and released Jerry's hand. That had been close. I followed Jerry to the bedrooms, where we stopped at his door.
"I'll not take advantage of you, I told you that. I hope I'm not being foolish, trusting you. Why did you talk to a MacDonald?" Jerry stared down at me.
"Because he's a doctor and I thought he could help you. No other reason. But if Angus has another answer, then I'm happy to let his doctor have at it. You've taught me to mistrust MacDonalds too. And I've witnessed some of his treachery myself."
"All right then." Jerry stared down at me, another of those searching looks. I swayed toward him and couldn't resist putting a hand on his chest.
"You said you wanted to drink from me. Now?"
"No, I've changed my mind. You're pale and obviously need to recover from the last time I took your blood." He touched my cheek. "But I would like to try another kiss. Just to see if this potion is wearing off. I heard what you said to Da. I'll drink another bottle of that fake blood before I rest." He brushed my wild hair back from my face. The damned Scottish mist had done a number on it.
"Good. Dilute the poison as much as you can." I ran my hands up to his shoulders and breathed him in again. How could he not remember this? For me it was so perfect, our connection. Oh, if only a kiss would break the spell. He was my own very masculine Sleeping Beauty. It would be wonderful if I'd pull away and he'd suddenly remember...everything. I slid my arms around his neck and feathered a kiss over his strong jaw.
"Jerry. Jeremiah." I sighed. "I'm glad you want to kiss me again. We always enjoyed kissing each other. I have your taste memorized. It is my favorite flavor in the world, second only to drinking from your vein." I settled my mouth on his. His arms pulled me close and, for a few exquisite moments, this felt like old times, the familiar awakening before things moved into the bedroom. There, our special bond would leave us both more fulfilled than we could ever be with anyone else. Then he eased back, lifting my arms from him and setting me away.
"You are a talented woman. I could enjoy kissing you longer but I must rest. Thank you, Gloriana." He smiled, as he would to a stranger, and disappeared into his room, closing the door firmly in my face.
I walked slowly down the hall to the bedroom one of the guards had pointed out earlier. My suitcases were on the floor but I had little enthusiasm for unpacking. I stripped out of my clothes and crawled naked between the sheets. I wished for about the millionth time that vampires could dream. I'd dream of a long and lusty night in Jerry's arms. I'd go for it even if he thought he was making it with a woman he'd just met. Instead, the sun must have peeked over the horizon because I fell hopelessly into my death sleep.