I pushed to my feet, still hunched over as I darted to the next row of cars. His steps grew closer, and I squeezed my eyes closed, begging I wouldn’t be found.
“To be honest, all those years spent in Silver Lake had an impact, albeit minimal. I made some friends…You know the guys. I focused on my music. I f**ked every dumb f**king cunt who spread her legs.”
His hands wrapped around my wrists and pulled me to my feet as I yelped in shock, my eyes flying open and staring into his. The vibrant blue of calm waters was now dark like a raging storm. They were vacant. The compassion he’d shown earlier drowned in the murkiness of his past.
“Then there was you,” he whispered in a hushed tone as his eyes searched mine. “It was…fate.”
“It wasn’t fate. You lied to me.” I shook my head, hoping I would somehow wake myself from the nightmare I had walked right into.
“You sought me out. You wanted to find me, Ella. Why? If you knew about my past, why were you looking for me?”
“So you don’t have it all figured out?”
“You might want to be careful with who you confide in. Maric is one of my oldest friends. Ella Leighton has no past, no identity past a few months ago. You get paid under the table, you paid rent in cash, when you paid it at all. The utilities were all in the landlord’s name. It’s like you’re a ghost. Like you’re her ghost.”
“I needed to find out the truth.”
“The truth about what?” His grip tightened when I didn’t respond. “About what?” His voice rose with anger.
“Hey? What’s going on over there?” A stranger’s voice broke through our conversation. He reluctantly let go of me, tears in my eyes, answers on the tip of my tongue.
“Ella.” His eyes searched mine, but I shook my head fractionally before I took off, weaving between cars and across the main road. He wouldn’t be stupid enough to chase after me in broad daylight with witnesses. I had no idea where I was even going. My apartment was no longer safe. I wasn’t any closer to finding out the truth, but part of me knew that regardless of intent, Rellik was at least partially responsible for the torture I’d suffered for years.
Connection
Chapter 18—Rellik
Connection: a relationship in which a person is linked or associated with something else
I couldn’t see straight. The ache of having to stand there and watch her walk away was more than I had anticipated. I clenched my jaw as I reluctantly made my way across the now-lit parking lot to my room. Banging my fist on the door, I bit out a curse when I realized I didn’t have my key card and would have to go to the office.
I walked along the narrow sidewalk to the main entrance and pulled open the door, the air conditioning reminding me that I had left in such a hurry, I forgot to put on a shirt.
The woman behind the desk blushed as my eyes met hers, and she immediately looked down to her computer, a smirk on her face.
“Can I help you with something, sir?”
“I locked myself out of my room. I need a key card.”
“Certainly. What is your room number?”
“One nineteen.”
“You’re checking out today? Would you like a copy of your bill?”
“Nah. I didn’t order any room service. Should be pretty straightforward.” I was leaving early today to get a room closer to my mom’s house. I didn’t want to assume they’d want me to stay with open arms, and I wasn’t sure I could handle the memories. It had been years since I’d seen her.
“You’re right. Only made one phone call.” She held out a plastic key card, and I took it as I thought over what she’d said.
“Actually, I think I’ll take the bill. Tax purposes.”
“Sure. No problem.” With a smile she clicked Print, and the papers began to shoot out of the printer next to her. I tried to hide my excitement as I took them from her hand. Maybe Ella wasn’t as good at covering her trail as she’d thought.
I left the office, the sun blinding and already unbearably hot, to make my way back to my room. The guys wouldn’t be up for a few hours, sleeping away their hangovers. I wasn’t as lucky. I’d had two hours of sleep if I was lucky, and I didn’t see any more in my future for a long time.
I had to find the connection between Ella and my past. The fact that she bore such a striking resemblance to Katie only f**ked up my head more. That couldn’t be explained away and must have had a direct correlation to how she fit in to the story.
I slipped inside my room, scanning Ella’s possessions, which still lay where she’d left them, like she had stepped out for some fresh air and hadn’t run off in fear of me discovering the truth. My eyes fell to the paper in my hand, and I studied the local number. Who would she have called? She claimed to have nowhere else to go, no other place to stay. Was that just to get closer to me? Couldn’t have been. The look in her eyes when she discovered my name was genuine. She hadn’t known who I really was. You couldn’t fake that kind of betrayal. But why the fear? If she’d been tracking me, she should have known exactly what I’d been accused of in the past. Ella had shown little self-preservation in the short time I’d known her. She had too much pride, so it all could be explained away, but it didn’t sit right with me. At least now I had a few leads.
I grabbed my cell phone and dialed the number, careful to block my own number. After three rings a man answered, a voice I didn’t recognize.
“Hello?” There was some commotion as if adjusting his own phone, and he lowered his voice. “Mikaella? Is that you?”
I disconnected the call and tossed my phone on the bed. Mikaella. At least I’d found another piece to the puzzle. She wasn’t very clever with her alias. Who was the man? I turned to the floor and grabbed her book bag, sitting on the bed as I unzipped it, the anticipation causing my heart to race. I pulled out a few outfits, tossing them to the side as I felt around in the bottom of the bag.
“Fuck,” I growled as my search came up empty. I shoved the clothing back inside and grabbed her purse, dumping the contents onto the covers. I grabbed a card to the Lockhart library issued only a few months ago. My heart seized when I saw a newspaper article with Katie’s face, and I tossed the card onto the covers on top of a picture of Ella as a child. I picked up the article, my eyes struggling to focus on the faded print.
Foul Play Suspected in the Death of Katie May Alexander
I dropped the paper, letting it flutter to the bed before picking up the next. This was a different case entirely.
Manhunt Expands for the Dream Killer
What did one have to do with the other? Did she think this Dream Killer was responsible for Katie’s death? Did she think it was me? Was she some sort of law enforcement that I’d threatened? “Fuck,” I yelled at the top of my lungs until I had no breath left in my lungs.
* *
“Call the police!” I watched the large silhouette holding her lifeless body walk away, blocking out the light momentarily. What I thought was heaven was the headlight of a rusted blue pickup truck, God nothing more than a stranger. My angel had forsaken me. I closed my eyes as I quit struggling against the weight on my shoulders. There was no reason for me to fight anymore.
“What did you do to that girl, boy?”
“I loved her.” In that moment I realized that it was me who had done this to her. I should have left her alone. I wasn’t what she needed, and everyone knew it but the two of us. I thought her heart was big enough for both of us, but what we had is what stopped it from beating.
It didn’t take long for police cars to swarm the street, and in such a small town, everyone came out to see what horrific event had transpired. The blue and red lights from the cars bounced off the trees, disorienting me. Handcuffs were placed on my wrists, and I was lifted from the ground. As I turned to face everyone I’d ever known, they gasped and screamed as my own eyes drifted down over my blood-soaked clothing.
Hands were all over my body now, searching and grabbing at me.
“We have a weapon.” I turned my head to see the blood-smeared handle of my father’s pocketknife. It was all I had left after losing him, and now it had ended the life of the girl I loved. My eyes turned back to the crowd in time to see my mother fall to her knees, screaming in agony.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Do you understand each of these rights I have explained to you?”
“Yes,” I mumbled.
“Having these rights in mind, do you wish to talk to us now?”
I glanced up at the sound of a woman screaming, my eyes landing on Katie’s mother as Coach held her around the waist. On her right was Bryce, no emotion on his face. I lurched forward as the officer grabbed my arms, struggling to get me on the ground. Another officer helped him. Soon my chest slammed against asphalt, the air momentarily knocked from my lungs.
“It’s all my fault,” I rasped as I rested my cheek against the warm road.
* *
Katie’s death was ultimately ruled a suicide due to the vertical cuts on her wrists, but I knew something else had happened to her, even if the evidence of such a crime had been washed away. Although I was proclaimed innocent, I was guilty in the eyes of everyone around me. I couldn’t function, couldn’t think clearly, and was soon sent away to a mental health facility. My mother had suffered enough after the death of my father, and I couldn’t blame her for not wanting to be the mother of someone everyone thought was a killer. Even if it meant the last person I had in my corner had given up on me.
I crumbled the paper in my hand, cracking my neck as the memories swarmed me, making it impossible to keep myself under control.
A knock at the door got my attention. I shoved the belongings back in the purse and picked up the gun from the bed, tucking it in the back of my shorts. I pressed myself against the door, looking through the peephole, paranoia taking over.
“Housekeeping,” an older woman called from the other side.
“No thanks. I’m checking out today,” I called back and watched as she shook her head and moved on to the next room.
I grabbed my phone from the bed and did a reverse search on the phone number that Ella had called.
It was a home phone, but the owner’s name and address wasn’t available. I forwarded the number to Trigger.
I need to know who owns this number and where to find them. Keep it on the DL.
A few minutes later he texted me back.
So f**king hungover. I’m on it.
I made my way to my bag, pulling out a clean pair of jeans and my dark-blue Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt. Dressing quickly, I thought over what had transpired. I couldn’t figure out Ella’s angle. She looked too young to be with the law. I looked over the gun. It wasn’t police issued. I emptied the clip, removing the bullet in the chamber as I thought about it being pointed at my heart. I stuck her gun in her purse and gathered my bag along with the other miscellaneous items around the room before leaving the hotel.
I needed to get across town to my mom’s, but walking away from my past had never been easy for me and knowing what I did now about Ella, she was somehow a part of it. In the daylight the alley where she accessed her apartment looked rundown and desolate.
I parked by the front door and climbed the stairs to her place. The eviction notice was still in place, and the lock hadn’t been removed. She still might return once she felt the coast was clear. I resisted the urge to find out. Instead I hurried down the three flights of stairs and got in my car, pulling off and heading down to the Lockhart Library, about five minutes away. Ella would be able to walk here, and it was the only other place I knew she might go. Just the thought of going back home made my stomach turn. I’d been avoiding the prying eyes, the looks of disappointment, and knowing if I ever saw Bryce, I’d finally finish what I’d started.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about killing him in just about every way imaginable. He tainted Katie, soiled her innocence, and destroyed her life.
The fact that he was still left breathing was only a matter of luck.
Honest
Chapter 19—Ella
Honest: free of deceit
I should have seen the signs, been aware of when someone was taking advantage of me. I shook my head at the thought. He didn’t take advantage of me. He was curious as to why I was searching for him, and I practically threw myself at him.
I still didn’t have my answers, and if I was honest with myself, I wasn’t seeking the truth. I was seeking revenge.
I rubbed the back of my hand over my nose as I thought of my doll my mother had made me. It was my only connection to her, and it was gone, possibly forever.
I couldn’t go to my apartment or to work, knowing now that Maric was close to Ryder. As a person who prided herself on being a loner, I’d never felt this alone in my entire life. It was a dull aching in my chest, as if the world were closing in on me. I was going to break down. Focusing on righting the wrongs of my past had always kept me going, but I’d hit a wall.
Maybe it was time to accept that those who’d hurt me were going to get away with it, moving on to new victims. But Ryder was a different kind of animal. I pretended I was strong as a means of self-preservation, but Ryder was the real deal. He was a beast and willing to do what beasts do. It terrified me. I’d wanted to meet him on my own terms, to know he could be trusted.
“To be honest, all those years spent in Silver Lake had an impact, albeit minimal. I made some friends…You know the guys. I focused on my music. I f**ked every dumb f**king cunt who spread her legs.”
His hands wrapped around my wrists and pulled me to my feet as I yelped in shock, my eyes flying open and staring into his. The vibrant blue of calm waters was now dark like a raging storm. They were vacant. The compassion he’d shown earlier drowned in the murkiness of his past.
“Then there was you,” he whispered in a hushed tone as his eyes searched mine. “It was…fate.”
“It wasn’t fate. You lied to me.” I shook my head, hoping I would somehow wake myself from the nightmare I had walked right into.
“You sought me out. You wanted to find me, Ella. Why? If you knew about my past, why were you looking for me?”
“So you don’t have it all figured out?”
“You might want to be careful with who you confide in. Maric is one of my oldest friends. Ella Leighton has no past, no identity past a few months ago. You get paid under the table, you paid rent in cash, when you paid it at all. The utilities were all in the landlord’s name. It’s like you’re a ghost. Like you’re her ghost.”
“I needed to find out the truth.”
“The truth about what?” His grip tightened when I didn’t respond. “About what?” His voice rose with anger.
“Hey? What’s going on over there?” A stranger’s voice broke through our conversation. He reluctantly let go of me, tears in my eyes, answers on the tip of my tongue.
“Ella.” His eyes searched mine, but I shook my head fractionally before I took off, weaving between cars and across the main road. He wouldn’t be stupid enough to chase after me in broad daylight with witnesses. I had no idea where I was even going. My apartment was no longer safe. I wasn’t any closer to finding out the truth, but part of me knew that regardless of intent, Rellik was at least partially responsible for the torture I’d suffered for years.
Connection
Chapter 18—Rellik
Connection: a relationship in which a person is linked or associated with something else
I couldn’t see straight. The ache of having to stand there and watch her walk away was more than I had anticipated. I clenched my jaw as I reluctantly made my way across the now-lit parking lot to my room. Banging my fist on the door, I bit out a curse when I realized I didn’t have my key card and would have to go to the office.
I walked along the narrow sidewalk to the main entrance and pulled open the door, the air conditioning reminding me that I had left in such a hurry, I forgot to put on a shirt.
The woman behind the desk blushed as my eyes met hers, and she immediately looked down to her computer, a smirk on her face.
“Can I help you with something, sir?”
“I locked myself out of my room. I need a key card.”
“Certainly. What is your room number?”
“One nineteen.”
“You’re checking out today? Would you like a copy of your bill?”
“Nah. I didn’t order any room service. Should be pretty straightforward.” I was leaving early today to get a room closer to my mom’s house. I didn’t want to assume they’d want me to stay with open arms, and I wasn’t sure I could handle the memories. It had been years since I’d seen her.
“You’re right. Only made one phone call.” She held out a plastic key card, and I took it as I thought over what she’d said.
“Actually, I think I’ll take the bill. Tax purposes.”
“Sure. No problem.” With a smile she clicked Print, and the papers began to shoot out of the printer next to her. I tried to hide my excitement as I took them from her hand. Maybe Ella wasn’t as good at covering her trail as she’d thought.
I left the office, the sun blinding and already unbearably hot, to make my way back to my room. The guys wouldn’t be up for a few hours, sleeping away their hangovers. I wasn’t as lucky. I’d had two hours of sleep if I was lucky, and I didn’t see any more in my future for a long time.
I had to find the connection between Ella and my past. The fact that she bore such a striking resemblance to Katie only f**ked up my head more. That couldn’t be explained away and must have had a direct correlation to how she fit in to the story.
I slipped inside my room, scanning Ella’s possessions, which still lay where she’d left them, like she had stepped out for some fresh air and hadn’t run off in fear of me discovering the truth. My eyes fell to the paper in my hand, and I studied the local number. Who would she have called? She claimed to have nowhere else to go, no other place to stay. Was that just to get closer to me? Couldn’t have been. The look in her eyes when she discovered my name was genuine. She hadn’t known who I really was. You couldn’t fake that kind of betrayal. But why the fear? If she’d been tracking me, she should have known exactly what I’d been accused of in the past. Ella had shown little self-preservation in the short time I’d known her. She had too much pride, so it all could be explained away, but it didn’t sit right with me. At least now I had a few leads.
I grabbed my cell phone and dialed the number, careful to block my own number. After three rings a man answered, a voice I didn’t recognize.
“Hello?” There was some commotion as if adjusting his own phone, and he lowered his voice. “Mikaella? Is that you?”
I disconnected the call and tossed my phone on the bed. Mikaella. At least I’d found another piece to the puzzle. She wasn’t very clever with her alias. Who was the man? I turned to the floor and grabbed her book bag, sitting on the bed as I unzipped it, the anticipation causing my heart to race. I pulled out a few outfits, tossing them to the side as I felt around in the bottom of the bag.
“Fuck,” I growled as my search came up empty. I shoved the clothing back inside and grabbed her purse, dumping the contents onto the covers. I grabbed a card to the Lockhart library issued only a few months ago. My heart seized when I saw a newspaper article with Katie’s face, and I tossed the card onto the covers on top of a picture of Ella as a child. I picked up the article, my eyes struggling to focus on the faded print.
Foul Play Suspected in the Death of Katie May Alexander
I dropped the paper, letting it flutter to the bed before picking up the next. This was a different case entirely.
Manhunt Expands for the Dream Killer
What did one have to do with the other? Did she think this Dream Killer was responsible for Katie’s death? Did she think it was me? Was she some sort of law enforcement that I’d threatened? “Fuck,” I yelled at the top of my lungs until I had no breath left in my lungs.
* *
“Call the police!” I watched the large silhouette holding her lifeless body walk away, blocking out the light momentarily. What I thought was heaven was the headlight of a rusted blue pickup truck, God nothing more than a stranger. My angel had forsaken me. I closed my eyes as I quit struggling against the weight on my shoulders. There was no reason for me to fight anymore.
“What did you do to that girl, boy?”
“I loved her.” In that moment I realized that it was me who had done this to her. I should have left her alone. I wasn’t what she needed, and everyone knew it but the two of us. I thought her heart was big enough for both of us, but what we had is what stopped it from beating.
It didn’t take long for police cars to swarm the street, and in such a small town, everyone came out to see what horrific event had transpired. The blue and red lights from the cars bounced off the trees, disorienting me. Handcuffs were placed on my wrists, and I was lifted from the ground. As I turned to face everyone I’d ever known, they gasped and screamed as my own eyes drifted down over my blood-soaked clothing.
Hands were all over my body now, searching and grabbing at me.
“We have a weapon.” I turned my head to see the blood-smeared handle of my father’s pocketknife. It was all I had left after losing him, and now it had ended the life of the girl I loved. My eyes turned back to the crowd in time to see my mother fall to her knees, screaming in agony.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Do you understand each of these rights I have explained to you?”
“Yes,” I mumbled.
“Having these rights in mind, do you wish to talk to us now?”
I glanced up at the sound of a woman screaming, my eyes landing on Katie’s mother as Coach held her around the waist. On her right was Bryce, no emotion on his face. I lurched forward as the officer grabbed my arms, struggling to get me on the ground. Another officer helped him. Soon my chest slammed against asphalt, the air momentarily knocked from my lungs.
“It’s all my fault,” I rasped as I rested my cheek against the warm road.
* *
Katie’s death was ultimately ruled a suicide due to the vertical cuts on her wrists, but I knew something else had happened to her, even if the evidence of such a crime had been washed away. Although I was proclaimed innocent, I was guilty in the eyes of everyone around me. I couldn’t function, couldn’t think clearly, and was soon sent away to a mental health facility. My mother had suffered enough after the death of my father, and I couldn’t blame her for not wanting to be the mother of someone everyone thought was a killer. Even if it meant the last person I had in my corner had given up on me.
I crumbled the paper in my hand, cracking my neck as the memories swarmed me, making it impossible to keep myself under control.
A knock at the door got my attention. I shoved the belongings back in the purse and picked up the gun from the bed, tucking it in the back of my shorts. I pressed myself against the door, looking through the peephole, paranoia taking over.
“Housekeeping,” an older woman called from the other side.
“No thanks. I’m checking out today,” I called back and watched as she shook her head and moved on to the next room.
I grabbed my phone from the bed and did a reverse search on the phone number that Ella had called.
It was a home phone, but the owner’s name and address wasn’t available. I forwarded the number to Trigger.
I need to know who owns this number and where to find them. Keep it on the DL.
A few minutes later he texted me back.
So f**king hungover. I’m on it.
I made my way to my bag, pulling out a clean pair of jeans and my dark-blue Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt. Dressing quickly, I thought over what had transpired. I couldn’t figure out Ella’s angle. She looked too young to be with the law. I looked over the gun. It wasn’t police issued. I emptied the clip, removing the bullet in the chamber as I thought about it being pointed at my heart. I stuck her gun in her purse and gathered my bag along with the other miscellaneous items around the room before leaving the hotel.
I needed to get across town to my mom’s, but walking away from my past had never been easy for me and knowing what I did now about Ella, she was somehow a part of it. In the daylight the alley where she accessed her apartment looked rundown and desolate.
I parked by the front door and climbed the stairs to her place. The eviction notice was still in place, and the lock hadn’t been removed. She still might return once she felt the coast was clear. I resisted the urge to find out. Instead I hurried down the three flights of stairs and got in my car, pulling off and heading down to the Lockhart Library, about five minutes away. Ella would be able to walk here, and it was the only other place I knew she might go. Just the thought of going back home made my stomach turn. I’d been avoiding the prying eyes, the looks of disappointment, and knowing if I ever saw Bryce, I’d finally finish what I’d started.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about killing him in just about every way imaginable. He tainted Katie, soiled her innocence, and destroyed her life.
The fact that he was still left breathing was only a matter of luck.
Honest
Chapter 19—Ella
Honest: free of deceit
I should have seen the signs, been aware of when someone was taking advantage of me. I shook my head at the thought. He didn’t take advantage of me. He was curious as to why I was searching for him, and I practically threw myself at him.
I still didn’t have my answers, and if I was honest with myself, I wasn’t seeking the truth. I was seeking revenge.
I rubbed the back of my hand over my nose as I thought of my doll my mother had made me. It was my only connection to her, and it was gone, possibly forever.
I couldn’t go to my apartment or to work, knowing now that Maric was close to Ryder. As a person who prided herself on being a loner, I’d never felt this alone in my entire life. It was a dull aching in my chest, as if the world were closing in on me. I was going to break down. Focusing on righting the wrongs of my past had always kept me going, but I’d hit a wall.
Maybe it was time to accept that those who’d hurt me were going to get away with it, moving on to new victims. But Ryder was a different kind of animal. I pretended I was strong as a means of self-preservation, but Ryder was the real deal. He was a beast and willing to do what beasts do. It terrified me. I’d wanted to meet him on my own terms, to know he could be trusted.
